1. To take charge of this table and all drinks within reach.
2. To walk quickly to and from the bathroom to prevent serious
interference with drinking.
3. To report all soda drinkers to the manager.
4. To repeat all calls for refills from comrades too far gone to be heard.
5. To quit my table only when satisfied there is no more to drink.
6. To receive, put away, or pass on to anyone who can handle them all shots from the bartender, waitress, cooks, dishwasher, and all helpers of the bar for that matter.
7. To talk to no one who drinks soft drinks.
8. To give the alarm in case of "last call" so that all present may get the maximum benefit from the time remaining.
9. To call long and loud if the drinks seem to be coming to slowly.
10. To salute all Bourbon, Scotch and Gin not corked.
11. To be especially watchful for nights that the drinks are free,
and during the times that the liquors are running short, to challenge anyone who seems to be getting more to drink than myself, and allow no one to get drunker than I do.
TOO BAD THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO MY SINCE I AM A NON-DRINKER. NUT I GUARANTEE SOME OF YOU HERE WILL HAVE THE MEMORIZED BY THE TIME YOU MAKE YOUR DUTY "ROUNDS" THIS EVENING.
