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lloyd holland

The Beginning Of Time

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In the beginning was the word, and the word was GOD, and all else was darkness and void and without form. So God created the heaven and earth, he created the sun, the moon, and the stars so that light might pierce the darkness. On the earth God divided the land and the sea, and this he filled with many assorted creatures. The dark salty creatures that inhabited the murkey depths of the oceans, God called sailors and dressed them accordingly, with trousers that looked like bells at the bottom and with cute little flaps on their shirts to hide the hickies on their necks. He also gave them long sideburns and shabby looking hair, God nicknamed them "Squids" and banished them to a lifetime at sea so that normal folks would not have to associate with them. To further identify these unloved creatures, he called them Petty and Commodores instead of titles worthy of redblooded men. The shy slow creatures of the land God called them soldiers, and with a twinkle in his eye and a sense of humor only he could have, God gave them trousers too short and pockets to warm their hands and covers too large, and to adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges in quantities that only a dime store owner could appreciate. He gave them emblems...and crests...and all sort of shiny things that glittered...and devices that dangled, when you're God you tend to get carried away at times. On the 5th day he thought about creating some flighty air creatures and even designed a greyhound bus drivers uniform especially for them, but he discarded the idea, and was not until years later that some apostles "resurrected" this theme and established what we now know as the wild blue yonder wonders. And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested. And on the 8th day at 0-dark-30, God looked down upon the earth and was not pleased, so he thought about his labors, and in his infinite wisdom, God created a divine creature of the air...of the land...and of the sea, this he called a MARINE, and these Marines whom God created in his own image, he gave them many wonderful uniforms, some green, some were blue with red trim and in the early days some were even a beautiful tan. He even gave them a camoflague fighting uniform to wage war against the forces of satan and evil, he gave them uniforms for their daily work and training, so that they stay sharp and ready. He gave them evening and dress uniforms, stylish and handsome things, so that they could dazzle the ladies on saturday night, and impress the sh-t outta everybody else, he even gave them swords so that people who were not impressed could be dealt with. And at the end of the 8th day, God looked upon the earth again, and saw that all was good, but he was still not happy, because in the course of his labors, he had forgotten one thing, he did not have a "motto" for the Marines. So he thought and thought about it, and finally satisfied himself in knowing that everybody cannot become one of his own, only a few, the proud, the MARINES. SEMPER FI

Updated 09-01-10 at 01:39 PM by lloyd holland (spelling)

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  1. lloyd holland's Avatar
    deleted comment by mistake
  2. nmilla's Avatar
    We stole the eagle from the Air Force,
    the anchor from the Navy, and
    the rope from the Army.
    On the 7th day, while God rested, we over-ran his perimeter and stole the globe, and we've been running the show ever since