jpetito

Interservice Rivalry
© Joseph Petito

As you well know, the four (five really) military services have their own separate and distinct cultures, and tend to, how shall we say, squabble, amongst themselves about allocation of funding, tasking, status, political connections, etc., etc.

One day, a recent civilian appointee at the Pentagon who had dealings with the representatives of the various military branches got fed up with the different jargon, terminology, nomenclature, competition, et. el., and decided to do a study on how to get the various branches of the military to work together to find common ground and be friendly toward one another. After all, the various services all had the same intent- the protection of our country "against all enemies, both foreign and domestic." With the new political administration and the move toward a more refined and genteel geopolitical worldview, it only made sense that everyone should get along in our country too.

This civilian appointee commissioned a study to understand each of the distinct military branches of service, and find ways to create common communication so as to ameliorate communication difficulties, breakdowns, dysfunction, and modify behavior amongst members so they would value and hold dear the service and sacrifices of the individuals in the other branches.

Twenty million dollars was allocated for the study, and a subsidiary of the Rand Corporation contracted to direct, observe, make findings, and present a report of recommendations to reduce or eliminate communication difficulties between the military branches.

After two months and the expenditure of five million dollars, a group of social scientists and psychologists, with advice from the civilian heads of the various military branches, negotiated the language of an order to be given to members of each of the five military services in order to observe group behavior within each branch and compare it to the others so that recommendations could be made in the final draft and ultimate presentation of the study.

The order to be given to members of a randomly chosen group from each of the services was: "Secure that building." The reason they came up with the order to "secure" a building instead of do some other task was because of the difficulty in discerning the differences in the meaning of common words and terms used among the various services. For instance, in the Air Force, the term "floor" meant, for the Navy, Coast Guard, and Marines, the term "deck." for the Army the "head" is the place where the helmet is fastened, not a "latrine." Other terms like "cover," "ladder," "hump," and "line," were problematic as well, so the term "secure" was used in the context of a building on land to identify where the various service branches would have a common purpose if given an order to accomplish a common task, and identify disparities when or if they existed.

A building near the edge of a remote military base (29 Palms) was constructed for the study, and the observers were hidden in a bunker one hundred meters away in the remote community of Landers, to observe the actions and reactions of the service members as they were given the order to "secure that building."

A random selection was made, and the Coast Guard group was the first to be given the order. In keeping with the rules of the study, members of each branch (the number to be determined by the individual service) were ordered to report to the building, and the Coast Guard sent two Seamen, a CPO-2, and an Ensign to the research study building. Upon being given the order to "secure the building," the Senior Chief ordered the Seamen to conduct a safety inspection of the building, and upon conducting the inspection, gave the results to the Chief, who gave the results to the Ensign, who in turn gave the results to the scientist who was representing the group in the bunker. The total time to accomplish the task, including written safety violations on the checklist, was one hour.

The second random group to be chosen was the Army. This branch sent two PFC's, a Staff Sergeant, and a Captain, and upon being given the order to "secure that building," the Captain ordered the Staff Sergeant to post a twenty four hour guard. The Staff Sergeant posted the two PFC's to alternately guard the building, six hours on and six off, and after four watches, the task was completed. With paperwork and log entries and such on the part of the Staff Sergeant, the total time to complete the task was twenty four and one half hours.

Third, randomly chosen, was the Air Force. This branch sent a Major from Spangdahlem, and upon being given the order, the Major pulled out his service-issue laptop, Blue-Toothed it to his service-issue cell phone and negotiated a lease with the building owner for a sub-market rate for two years. Total time to task completion was approximately forty minutes, which included filing paperwork for his per diem in the city of Palm Springs, and updating his frequent flyer miles account to and from Germany.

The next day, the Navy was represented by ten Seamen, a Senior Chief, and an Ensign. Upon being given the order, the Chief ordered the Seamen to paint the building, whereupon (being requested by the Chief) the Ensign drove out to Home Depot, purchased fifty gallons of grey paint and miscellaneous painting supplies on his AMX card, brought it back to the Chief, and the seamen painted the building, paying extra attention to scraping the old paint off first. Total time to completion of the task: One hour of travel time and five hours to scrape and paint the building.

Lastly, the Marine Corps sent a Private First Class, two Lance Corporals, a Gunnery Sergeant, and a Second Lieutenant. Upon being given the order, the Lieutenant and the Gunny had a polite but heated argument out of earshot of the lower ranks, and then they all left. The Lieutenant called in air support while the Gunny acquired gear, (he had a friend at base supply) and the five were helioed to a ravine five miles from the building, whereupon the Lance Corporals and PFC carried the targeting gear, the Gunny carried the map case and GPS device, and the lieutenant carried his sidearm to a position atop a hill four thousand meters from the building, where they set up an observation post. After resting for thirty minutes, the PFC illuminated the target, called in an airstrike and destroyed the building. Total time to completion of the task: eleven hours.

The scientists were in shock from the blast and at a loss to explain the dramatic differences in action and reaction to the order to "secure a building." Since there was no final outcome to the study, (and after receiving therapy for PTSD) they went back to the Pentagon requesting fifty million dollars to conduct an adjunct study on the outcome of the original study, as well as for an analysis of the deficiencies of the original study.

Lawsuits continue to this day against MCAGCC for the repair of broken glass and the loss of pets in the rural desert community of Landers.