Anger issues

[CombatDisburser]

ok, so my fiance and I have been together off and on for about 6 years and all of a sudden about 4 months ago I started to have serious anger issues, where all I want to do and the only time I am happy is by myself, I am not sure why but I am trying to see if anyone has this same problem or had this problem? It is affecting our relationship and love life and I am starting to get worried since I am going on deployment soon. I really need some help finding out whats wrong can anyone help me please?

[Lynn2]

There are anger issues and then there are anger issues. Some anger can be a useful healthy expression. But when it stars to effect your life it is far from healthy. It is in fact a mental health issue.

Serious anger issues require professional help. And if it is effecting your relationships to the degree you state and if it prompted this thread then you have an issue that needs to be addressed.

Get to a mental health professional.

The cure may be quick and easy. And then it may not. But getting help is the only way to find out for sure.

If you were not a competent mechanic would you really try to rebuild your car engine without professional help? Get help.

The root cause could be any number of things. Stress? Depression? Etc?

[BR34]

ok, so my fiance and I have been together off and on for about 6 years and all of a sudden about 4 months ago I started to have serious anger issues, where all I want to do and the only time I am happy is by myself, I am not sure why but I am trying to see if anyone has this same problem or had this problem? It is affecting our relationship and love life and I am starting to get worried since I am going on deployment soon. I really need some help finding out whats wrong can anyone help me please?

Where are you stationed?

[Lynn2]

Also let me ask-----4 months ago? Were you put on medication for any reason? For anything at all?

Did anything else unusual happen?

Did you find out you were going to be deployed? Get married? Anything?

[Lynn2]

Since you did not mention it I am assuming that you do not have a war deployment under your belt already?

[usmc3521]

on and off for 6 years? Not trying to be a d*ck but you guys should not be together as its not working. Dump her to the curb, grow a frickin set and become a better Marine. Focus on you and only you bro period. women are a dime a dozen. When your life is in check and all your ducks are lined up morally and professionally then hunt for a relationship. Dont screw yourself up because of a frickin women. Way to many people do that. Anger is caused by stress, you have an upcoming deployemtn and relationship issues, hell yes that will cause anger! Unless you are weak and feel the need to kill yourself you dont need to see the frickin wizard.

[DocGreek]

PLEASE.....fill out your profile, so that we know who we're talking to. THANK YOU.

[CombatDisburser]

I am stationed at Camp Lejeune, but the thing is this all started at work, its because im constantly treated like I am 2 years old and its really starting to bother me, and in between the time that my fiance and I were broken up I ended up getting married to a stripper out here in jacksonville, nc. I made some bad decisions in my past and I am thinking I resent myself for that and its starting to cause anger problems with myself, and ontop of that it has been stressful trying to make everything ok with the money im pulling in when my office screwed me out of my BAS for the entire time I was married, which caused me to be able to save no money. I did not come on here for relationship advice, I know what I am doing and the reason it was on and off for 6 years was because of her dad in the hospital in tennessee and I am from Idaho which is where she was so we decided to split so that she could focus on him for the moment. Please I just need to know if this is something anyone else has experienced or if it is just me? Im set up to go see a counselor on thursday to talk some of this out. I am hoping this works thank you for the help

[usmc3521]

please see my earlier post. You DO NOT NEED TO GO SEE THE WIZARD, THAT WILL SCREW YOUR CAREER UP)

You obviously made some bad choices(as we all have bro) especially with the women lol! You need to get your life straight and focus on your career as a Marine. I know its hard but you need to BOOT THE WOMEN OUT OF YOUR LIFE ASAP and move on. Its tough but the hurt will pass and you will be better for it.

There is nothing wrong with you, it has happend to alot of us! You just need to personally regroup, grab a set and become better. Again, there is nothing wrong with you.

[CombatDisburser]

I know I need to personally regroup, there have been alot of things I have yet to deal with but everything seems to be going according to plan, I just need to get this sorted out. I dont plan on staying in past my 4 years though, if I was in a different job things may have turned out differently but with where everything is right now, im done

[Lynn2]

"DO NOT NEED TO GO SEE THE WIZARD, THAT WILL SCREW YOUR CAREER UP)"

Even if he was planning to stay in----which he is not----his career is already on the road to being screwed up. And this Marine OP knows that.

And he knows his life is on the road to being screwed up as well.

And there are a lot of people out there like him. Losing out on one promotion after another. One job after another. One relationship after another. For far to many that is a cycle they see playing over again and again.

Sometimes all it takes is one visit. Sometimes its just that one visit that can start to lift the darkness and feelings of hopelessness.

Now I have never started a thread like this in my life. But if I did it would be a sure sign my life was going in the totally wrong direction.

This----"tough it out"----appears to be very bad advice from where I sit.

[Backhaus 1103]

I ended up getting married to a stripper out here in jacksonville, nc.

Holy sh!, me tinks I dun found the problem.

[CombatDisburser]

yes, I am trying to get help because I dont want it to end up causing problems in my relationship, I have already talked to my command about it and they are the ones that suggested the counselor, I believe they will be able to help. Thank you everyone for your concern

[Zulu 36]

I agree with Lynn2. Toughing it out doesn't help, BTDT.

Things have changed a little about Marines seeing headshrinkers since the Iraq War started up. Marines are being encouraged more by their commands to seek mental health counseling.

Unless one is truly a dangerous head case, the shrinks don't make a big deal out of it, and from I've read and heard, neither do commanding officers. You don't have to advertise you're going.

Depression does not necessarily make one a dangerous person. Cops suffer from these things all of the time and it took quite a period (and still is) to get cops to seek help when needed. They too tend to "tough it out" and it does not work long term.

The funny thing is, I was able to spot depression signs in my officers and direct them to the city's counselor's. Everyone of them didn't want to go, yet everyone of them came back after six-months or so and thanked me for making them go.

Unfortunately, I could not recognize the signs in myself, nor could my bosses.

Combat, you have observed signs and symptoms in yourself and recognized them as a genuine problem. Yes, go see the counselor. Don't do one visit and call it a cure, because it won't be. Be prepared to go for at least six-months or so.

P.S. Stay away from strippers. They don't help either.

[Lynn2]

"Don't do one visit and call it a cure,"

Good advice.

The point I was making about that "one visit" was not that there would be a cure for whatever ails this Marine. But one visit can seem like a giant weight was lifted off you.

It can make it seem like there is indeed hope.

But Zulu is correct. It takes time to deal with these issues. But that time frame differs from person to person.

How much time will be clearer once you sit down a time or 3 with a professional.

[usmc3521]

I disagree (keep in mind I was a youth counselor for the state of ohio) unless you are diagnosed with some disorder( manic depressive/nut job/ mpdo) talking to some stranger about your immaturitys is going to do what? How are they going to help you? Are they going to make your crzy GF not so crazy? Are they going to pay your late bills or make you more mature? NO

Lots of young men, including me have been through very similar scenarios bro, and guess what I chose to rise above it, drop all the negative **** around me and move fprward in my life being the best that I can be. You are a Marine, you learned to adapt, overcome and tackle things. You have to have that mentality in your civilian life.

Unless you drop all the negative crap around you including women and focus on yourself and your life either as a Marine or a civilian, no amount of talking to the wizard is going to do anything. Once you are sound in all aspects that you want to be stable in, then worry about girls and crap.

It may sound like hard words but my plan and "tough love" mentality has worked for hundreds of youth and family I have counseled. They come to me with issues, we determine that they do not have a medical/mental issue. We tell them to man up and be responsbile for their lives and it works.

Whatever you choose be stong Marine and FOCUS. You will come out ahead.

[usmc3521]

ps sorry about my grammer and sp, kind of buys at work but want to get my 2 cents in, so Im tryng my best to speed type lol

[CombatDisburser]

thank you all for the support I just wanted to know if there was anyone else out there that is possibly experiencing this and thank you for showing me your side of the story. I believe everything will work out and I have high hopes for the future. Thank you once again for all the help.

[usmc3521]

thats the way to think Marine. Things will work out. There are always crappy times but the positive and the strong survive. S/F

[GT6238]

I used to lose my cool at the drop of a hat, or word, but once I talked to my doc, he prescribed "Happy Pills." That's what he really called them. Now, I just sort of smile and sit back. The wife thinks this is great. :cool:

[egbutler1]

I am stationed at Camp Lejeune, but the thing is this all started at work, its because im constantly treated like I am 2 years old and its really starting to bother me, and in between the time that my fiance and I were broken up I ended up getting married to a stripper out here in jacksonville, nc. I made some bad decisions in my past and I am thinking I resent myself for that and its starting to cause anger problems with myself, and ontop of that it has been stressful trying to make everything ok with the money im pulling in when my office screwed me out of my BAS for the entire time I was married, which caused me to be able to save no money. I did not come on here for relationship advice, I know what I am doing and the reason it was on and off for 6 years was because of her dad in the hospital in tennessee and I am from Idaho which is where she was so we decided to split so that she could focus on him for the moment. Please I just need to know if this is something anyone else has experienced or if it is just me? Im set up to go see a counselor on thursday to talk some of this out. I am hoping this works thank you for the help

I experienced it daily but than again I was an 0311 and went to war and saw some nasty **** and lost good friends in Iraq so uh sounds to me like a normal reaction to stress.

[Sgt Leprechaun]

EG, that was actually the first thing I thought as well. Brother, some or many of us have been there. Things DO get better, it just takes time.

And seeing a counselor isn't all bad. Mine helped me considerably, and I'm a mean, nasty, tired old SOB with 'anger' issues over 9/11 and other crap. And it WAS (and is) a help.

[Osotogary]

Thanks to all of you. This thread was much needed. It's like the "other conflict" after the conflict. It takes balls to recognize a behavior that you may not be comfortable talking about, let alone asking for advise on. If there are professional resources available, part of an available benefits package, exercise your option to use them. I know of one such situation...very close to home.
Briefly, first and foremost ,there was the reluctance to admit, then a slight self acknowledgement that something wasn't right, then an initial reach out for help, then a built in defense for any suggested treatment, then, after time, a realization, without any doubt, that a problem exists and finally, the positive step to seek and participate in the benefits available. Recovery stage? I don't know that as yet but the wheels to recovery were placed in motion the very moment that there was a self acknowledged problem and an earnest effort to seek help. That takes flat out guts, be you a Marine or not a Marine. Prayers, well wishes and support to those fighting more than one war at a time.

[MontanaDevilDog]

Hey Marine. You are not alone in this. I have a very good idea as to what you are going through, because I am in the process of dealing with some very similar issues myself. While some of my issues...