View Full Version : Getting married before boot camp
Cellerbe
07-15-10, 02:15 PM
I have a question i leave for boot camp soon and me and my fiance wants to get married before i go. If i do that does that affect me leaving? Can i be denied even though im already in the DEP? Because i never saw anything that i signed say im not allowed to get married.
I honestly do not know i believe that it is fine you just have to add her to your paperwork your recruiter would know best. a bit of advice dont rish to get married and if you do get married before boot then make sure you are getting BAH and all while in boot for her
Cellerbe
07-15-10, 02:28 PM
Thank you and I'm a female.
whoops sorry for that add him lol and again dont rush into it. I didnt catch the fiance part not fiancee lol
Cellerbe
07-15-10, 02:33 PM
Lol its okay. Well we been together since we were 12 and its been 7 years. i know its the right time. My recruiter told me he just doesnt feel like doing all the paperwork. I just feel like i rather do the paperwork and everything now then hae to do it when i come back.
on the bright side youll get more pay and if your recruiter says he doesnt feel like doing his job get someone that will do his for him you know? and also some upfront facts about 80-90% of all first term marriages end in divorce a little statistic showing how hard it is to be married to a sevice member
Cellerbe
07-15-10, 04:40 PM
Another poolee said it took him 3 days to get a dependent wavier and i dont think i have enough time because im leaving in 11 days.
Lisa 23
07-15-10, 04:49 PM
19 years old and wants to get married...WOW! What's the rush to get married before you leave?
WAIT until all of your training is done with...boot camp, MCT, and your MOS school, and you're at your first duty station... then decide if you still want to get married.
honestly i agree with WMarine but we cant stop you
Rocky C
07-15-10, 05:39 PM
I got married fresh out of MOS School.
19 years old.
Ended in Divorce.
Still Single :)
Nuff said..............
Good Luck to you both.
Sgt Leprechaun
07-15-10, 08:41 PM
Agree with WMarine on this one.
firedog974
07-15-10, 08:53 PM
DO NOT get married at 19!
Seriously.....
Komenko
07-15-10, 10:17 PM
I remember being told not to get married till your at least a Corporal lol. seems i followed that advice only to get divorced 2 years later. Remarried 18 days before my EAS while on terminal leave. still married to my wife for the last 2 years. going better this time around than the last!
ameriken
07-15-10, 10:47 PM
19 years old and wants to get married...WOW! What's the rush to get married before you leave?
WAIT until all of your training is done with...boot camp, MCT, and your MOS school, and you're at your first duty station... then decide if you still want to get married.
This!!!
ameriken
07-15-10, 10:49 PM
I got married fresh out of MOS School.
19 years old.
Ended in Divorce.
Still Single :)
Looking for twin redheads
Nuff said..............
Good Luck to you both.
I updated that for you Rocky. :D
brian0351
07-16-10, 01:35 AM
While I am not going to say "Don't do it" because everyone else already has. There is no telling a teen-ager that it is or is not "true love".
I am going to say that you had best wait until AFTER you get to your unit and get settled in. Allow yourself to get adjusted to your new schedule. I've lost track of how many times I saw a Marine bring a new spouse to a unit and become nothing but a pain in the ass.
Together since you were 12, so essentially you grew up together, were always around each other. How is he going to react when you're up at 0400 and work until 2000? Or if you pull duty on weekends? Or if you get deployed? You're going to marry him and move him to a location where he doesn't know anyone and doesn't have anything to do?
Getting married right now offers no extra benefits. Sure, you get a little more money but that doesn't offset the stress it brings. You can still name him as a beneficiary on your insurance policy even though your not married. That is what I had done...until 4 years later she met someone else. Seriously, wait.
marharri
07-16-10, 02:01 AM
if you really want to do it, do it now. try it in between initial training and your first duty station. i got to listen to a female marine being yelled at for 30 minutes straight for doing something like that. the first bit of marriage will be very trying for you both, but if you hold off, plan on holding off for at least 6 more months. that's 6 months of pay you deserved but passed over. then again, if you are doubting anything at all about the marriage, i would hold off. sounds like you really know what you're doing though.
polizei
07-16-10, 09:32 AM
If you want to get married, and have been together for 7 years already, then do it. Only you know if it's right or not. There are PLENTY of people that get married young and it works out for them, others not so much.
Now with that said, you will receive more money, so if you're going to do it, do it now. It IS more difficult to be married in the service, however it's completely dependent on the people.
In short, if it's what you want to do, then do it now. If it's something you're hesitant about, or not sure of, then wait until your initial training is over.
I was one who met a girl in Japan and within 1.5 years of dating her i married her lol. so far we've been married for 4 years now made it through my first term and all. I got married at 20 2 months before my 21st. but i had it extremely easy compared to others i didnt deploy and didnt work insane hours at least until i got to my school lol. but times are hard for everyone so again just make sure its all good to go
Rocky C
07-17-10, 08:02 AM
I updated that for you Rocky. :D
I just noticed that :banana:.
You are One Sick Puppy Maddog.
I love it :thumbup:.
Semper Twin Redheads,
Rocky
afraziaaaa
07-17-10, 10:35 AM
Lol its okay. Well we been together since we were 12 and its been 7 years. i know its the right time. My recruiter told me he just doesnt feel like doing all the paperwork. I just feel like i rather do the paperwork and everything now then hae to do it when i come back.
I find it hard to believe that your recruiter told you "I just don't feel like doing all the paperwork."
I am a recruiter and I would never tell a poolee that. From a recruiter's perspective, the fact of the matter is that I want your ass to ship to boot camp and graduate. If there is anything I can do to make that easier on you, then I would do it in a heartbeat.
However, If you were my poolee here's how I would advise you:
Since you only have 9 days left before you ship now, there is a high likelihood (I would say 99%) that your waiver will not be approved before recruit training. Because of that, getting married before recruit training will cause you increased mental stress and here's how...Marine Corps recruit training is challenging enough. Wondering if your paperwork is going through while you are in boot camp, with nobody to ask for guidance is stress you don't need. Also, having to write letters to your fiance and answer his questions about the paperwork/allowances with an "I don't know" will put even more strain on your relationship because you two will not be able to communicate as needed. Your drill instructors are there to help you, but their abiliy to get to your waiver paperwork and help push it through is minimal at best because they will be in Parris Island, while your paperwork will be in Garden City on long island.
The flip side is, if you MUST get married, waiting until you graduate boot camp and are on your ten days of boot leave will make it easier for you and your fiance. Here's how: you will already be a marine, and you will have had the opportunity to ask your drill instructors about getting benefits for your husband, the necessary paperwork, etc. Meaning, you will not be "in the dark" about the process. This means that your husband will not be in the dark either. Also, you will not require a waiver. You can take the necessary paperwork with you to MCT and the admin section will have your benefits in the system for you by the time you graduate MCT and move on to your MOS school. By running the paperwork at MCT, you have a Platoon sergeant there who you can ask directly about your paperwork and have "real-time" updates (within a day or so) on the status.
My guess is that your recruiter told you something similar to this, but you didn't quite understand what he meant because the process is all very foreign to you so you interpreted it as "I don't feel like doing all the paperwork". Is that an accurate guess?
To me, the choice is simple. Wait until after boot camp. Isn't your marriage and your life as a Marine worth less of a headache and waiting just three months? After all, you guys have been together for 7 years...I can't imagine he wouldn't wait for that if he loves you. Wouldn't you agree?