View Full Version : Question about Marrige.
Ok My names Dustin, I'm 20 almost 21 years old. I have been dating my GF for 3 years and we really love each other. I have a few buddies in the Marines and they seem to love it. I plan on joining after I prepare (things like running and such) I talked to her about it and asked her if she wanted to come with me, She wants to. So would it be better to marry her BEFORE I sign anything or Is it better to do it after I become a marine. Or does it even matter? ALSO if your married can you still do the buddy system? I friend I have had since my childhood wants to go too. I figured we could do the buddy system.
Lisa 23
05-09-10, 11:06 AM
How about filling out all of your profile so the Marines who are going to answer your questions, know who they are talking to, and you may also want to read the site rules in the poolee and Ask A Marine forums too.
And Marine is always capitalized.
Ok I filled in my info. Can someone help me?
TinDragon
05-09-10, 11:15 AM
First of all, you're too young to be married. (Ready for the hate that I'm sure will fly at me from more than just the OP)
If you insist on becoming married and joining the Marines, join first, then marry. Some folks in the Marines believe that you shouldn't get married to someone until you've been together through a deployment (helps to find the ones who can't stand to be away from their "loved ones" for more than a couple months). I'd have to agree. However, if you're not gonna wait that long, at least wait until you're at your first duty station, or in between your MOS school and duty station.
Being married won't affect the buddy system at all.
By the way, you spelled marriage wrong. Haha.
Lisa 23
05-09-10, 11:16 AM
In my opinion, don't get married until you're in the Marine Corps a few years, that is, if you make it through boot camp.
If you do make it through boot camp, get settled to Marine Corps life for a bit, and then decide about getting married.
Hmmm interesting...thanks for the answers. She knows and understands what it will be like. I guess I'll do it after boot camp (if I make it) I was just wanting to make sure we would have a place to stay, I figured the earlier the better our chances would be of her living with me.
Never get married until you're 30!!!
Lisa 23
05-09-10, 11:33 AM
I'm not being rude by saying this, but neither one of you have no idea of what life in the Marine Corps is like.
That's why you should experience Marine Corps life for a while and then decide about marriage. Not only is your future wife going to marry you, but she also marries the Marine Corps too.
You're both young.....take it slow. Remember...marriage is a lifetime commitment. Your commitment to the Marine Corps can be for as short or as long as you want it to be. Hope that makes sense!
Zulu 36
05-09-10, 11:33 AM
I'll give you my standard answer:
Avoid getting married as a Marine until you are at least a Sergeant. The pay and allowance differences are important. As an E-nothing, your spouse will have to work, especially if you live off-base.
Life is just simpler when you are a Sergeant. You've locked into your MOS, you know what field exercises and deployments are like, you aren't bewildered by everything going on around you, and dizzy from what you have to do as a newbie and a newly married Marine.
Beltayn
05-09-10, 11:42 AM
Avoid getting married as a Marine until you are at least a Sergeant.
Good rule of thumb.
Rocky C
05-09-10, 12:00 PM
Never get married until you're 30!!!
I heard that 50 is the New 30.........
Just sayin,,,,,,,,,,,
I heard that 50 is the New 30.........
Just sayin,,,,,,,,,,,
So I have a few more years being single. Yeah!!
Zoltta1
05-09-10, 01:21 PM
Wait until after your first contract is up and also wait to see if your gf can even handle a 7 month deployment first. Just my opinion
Rocky C
05-09-10, 01:48 PM
So I have a few more years being single. Yeah!!
I'm not waiting that long ;)
firedog974
05-09-10, 01:52 PM
Understand you are about to embark into something completely new in your life that you have no concept of what it entails. You will change a lot after boot and will change even more after a year in the fleet. Don't rush into anything and dang sure don't get married yet. A lot of guys marry their girl before boot because they are afraid their chick will find another guy while they are gone. Those marriages usually do not last. If your girl is a "keeper," make her earn it. See how she handles being away from you for a while and, more importantly, see how you handle it. It would really suck to go through boot, mct, mos school, and get stationed in HI and realize "I wish I was single."
I have seen it happen lots of times......
Rocky C
05-09-10, 01:53 PM
True Words...
Beltayn
05-09-10, 04:07 PM
If it's meant to be, it's strong enough to wait.
crazymjb
05-09-10, 10:25 PM
There are certainly many different ways to go about this and varying viewpoints on those ways, but at the very least I would wait until you are in your unit. At least that will give you time to be away from your girlfriend for at least 6 months and see how she can take it, as well as you. Also, after a few months and you are settled into your unit you'll get a better idea of how things work, and while many will advise against marrying as a lance, it CAN work if you absolutely don't want to be away from your girlfriend for another few years, and you both are willing to work for it.
You'd be surprised how the Marine Corps can destroy long term relationships. Even in the reserves marriages collapse on deployments. Additionally, plenty of guys fall to the temptation of going out and doing "stupid stuff" detrimental to their relationships while in. Divorce is a much bigger deal than a break up. I don't know you or your girlfriend personally, but generally waiting and "testing" the water is better. But every situation is unique and you very well could get married tomorrow and have a great marriage until you die. Again, wait AT LEAST until you get to your unit (you won't notice any difference anyway), and then go from there.
Oh yea, don't get her pregnant. Active duty Marines love to get girls pregnant. I don't know why, but they do, and that just complicates things.
Mike
Sgt Leprechaun
05-11-10, 01:33 AM
Oh yeah. WAIT. Best advice you'll get. Wait AT LEAST until you are in the fleet and a Corporal. Sergeant is better. Married Private's are usually miserable, and their wives even moreso.
Crusader20
05-11-10, 10:32 AM
Wait. I was in your shoes and we made it through all the hardships. It was not easy, but we made it.
However, One thing that has not been mentioned, if you wait until you are in the Marine Corps (either in MOS school, fleet or after your first deployment), you will be able to marry her in your dress Blues. Looking sharp!
Marine84
05-11-10, 05:54 PM
Rocky, how about a year and 3 months?
MicMarine
05-12-10, 12:52 PM
Understand you are about to embark into something completely new in your life that you have no concept of what it entails. You will change a lot after boot and will change even more after a year in the fleet. Don't rush into anything and dang sure don't get married yet. A lot of guys marry their girl before boot because they are afraid their chick will find another guy while they are gone. Those marriages usually do not last. If your girl is a "keeper," make her earn it. See how she handles being away from you for a while and, more importantly, see how you handle it. It would really suck to go through boot, mct, mos school, and get stationed in HI and realize "I wish I was single."
I have seen it happen lots of times......
I second that, and if you don't, do not have kids before you are a Cpl and close to pinning on Sgt. The stress level and BS goes way up when you have 2 kids as a LCpl. I also am a supporter of a Pre Nup. It only protects both of you.
TJR1070
05-12-10, 02:07 PM
It would really suck to go through boot, mct, mos school, and get stationed in HI and realize "I wish I was single."
I wish I was single and stationed in Hawaii.:D
MicMarine
05-12-10, 07:30 PM
I wish I was single and stationed in Hawaii.:D
Hawaii is only cool for 3 months. Then you hate it. The locals hate you, the tourist aren't around, and I remember a lot of stuff being off limits to Marines. I would rather be in Yuma, or Jacksonville, NC or 29 Palms. The thought that there will be endless amount of bikini models and everyday surfing never came true. But have 3 Somalian bouncers beat the hell out of you for flirting with a local happens.
Fwmaywd
05-13-10, 12:30 AM
I guess I have to go against the grain on this one. I say get married if it is what you want to do. If you love her and know that she is the one for you, then do it. I graduated boot camp August 12th,2005. I got married that evening. If i had to do it over again, i would have gotten married before i joined. I got married as a Private and i have 3 kids now, of course its tough, but thats what life is about. If you want it to work bad enough, you will make it happen.
I hate nothing more than to hear someone telling somebody to "wait till you're older" to get married. If you are old enough to die for you're country, you are old enough to make big boy/girl decisions. Just my two cents.
wsbullard
05-13-10, 01:00 AM
Listen to Firedog and Zulu. My daughter is engaged to an outstanding young Marine whom I really hope she marries. They have been together since they were 15. But there will be no Father approved wedding until he earns his Blood Stripe and she has a college degree. The Corps will change you and most women have a difficult time adjusting. Married non-rates have a miserable life.
Fwmaywd
05-13-10, 01:09 AM
Earning a "Bloodstripe" makes you an NCO, not a better husband. You make it seem as if when he picks up CPL he will be invincible to the harships of marriage....seems to be a pretty ridiculous stipulation. To each thier own, i rekon. Glad I am not that young fella, i'd tell you to pound sand.
Btw...your profile says you have been in for almost 30 years and you are still a Private...?
wsbullard
05-13-10, 01:23 AM
Hadn't filled out all of the profile yet. Just signed onto this sight this evening. The purpose of delaying it until he is an NCO is to delay the marriage until he has deployed, decided on reenlistment etc.. While it occasionally works out for 19-21 year olds getting married, the odds are long. I would like to think that making NCO would indicate an increased maturity and responsiblity. Traits that "should" make anyone a better husband