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View Full Version : Husband not able to go active.



haileyjewell
03-29-10, 10:19 PM
My husband is supposed to ship out in May but just recently his recruiter told him he may not be able to go active because he married me. I guess if you have a wife and child you aren't able to? He never said anything like this before we got married and told us it was fine to get married. My husband said he's going to have to go fill the paperwork out wensday. Has anyone else heard anything like this? Does anyone know how long it will take for us to know if he will be able to go active after mos school? Thanks.

Lisa 23
03-29-10, 10:33 PM
Fill out all of your profile so the Marines who are going to answer your questions, know who they are talking to, and read the site rules in the poolee and Ask A Marine forums also.

Now my question to you....from what you are saying, your husband DID NOT go to boot camp yet, so how can you be a Marine Spouse?

haileyjewell
03-29-10, 10:45 PM
I'm sorry I didn't know what else to put.

Lisa 23
03-29-10, 10:50 PM
You should have put Marine Friend, not Marine Spouse.

00101010
03-30-10, 12:48 AM
I am not sure Marine Friend works either.

To quickly answer your question in reference to not being able to join Active with a wife, that is false. I joined with a wife and a kid, and have even had another since.

haileyjewell
03-30-10, 01:26 AM
Okay I fixed it. I guess Marine friend would be the right one because it said (not a service member). Thank you for the help.

DanM
03-30-10, 02:28 AM
Computer age young people who don't know how to use Google to search a forum?

They made things easy as using a button for any site specific search of a forum or website.

Wheels123
03-30-10, 02:38 AM
I am out here on camp Foster right now. On a lighter note, any advice for new Marines out here in Oki?


Here is some advice: Stay away from the soapies, stay away from the ***** houses, and dont fight cab drivers....ever.

Sgt Leprechaun
03-30-10, 03:29 AM
And to help answer the question....Waivers are difficult to obtain at this point. I know for a fact my local RS is NOT taking wannabees with more than 2 dependants (That would be a wife and 1 kid type of thing, any more than that they are turning down). It's possible the local RS where you are is even more restrictive.

He would need a waiver no matter what (dependant) which is normal. Perhaps you just misunderstood the recruiter (or he did). It happens.

DobbinsBlythe
04-01-10, 10:02 PM
Computer age young people who don't know how to use Google to search a forum?

They made things easy as using a button for any site specific search of a forum or website.


Agreed, HOWEVER.... I've noticed a lot of people on this site don't realize that Marine Spouses are not privileged to read ALL of the forums that may address some of these issues.

Frankly, I think it's my hormones, but I'm getting pretty tired of people telling spouses that we need to search forums or treating us like we're dumb for not being able to see the other posts...

If people can search and see, they should, but a lot of us have asked questions (i.e. my thread on the spouse forum about Military Discounts) because we weren't able to read the other sections of Leatherneck.

Please be respectful of people and their questions, because you do not know who they are, where they come from, or why they are asking. I believe people are starting to jump down people's throats because they feel as though they're entitled to, not because they should...

BTW.. my response isn't just to you, its to all the people who may not realize the fact that some people can't see all posts on this site, and to the people who don't care that their posts might be offensive to others.

Socal2361
04-01-10, 10:26 PM
Agreed, HOWEVER.... I've noticed a lot of people on this site don't realize that Marine Spouses are not privileged to read ALL of the forums that may address some of these issues.

Frankly, I think it's my hormones, but I'm getting pretty tired of people telling spouses that we need to search forums or treating us like we're dumb for not being able to see the other posts...

If people can search and see, they should, but a lot of us have asked questions (i.e. my thread on the spouse forum about Military Discounts) because we weren't able to read the other sections of Leatherneck.

Please be respectful of people and their questions, because you do not know who they are, where they come from, or why they are asking. I believe people are starting to jump down people's throats because they feel as though they're entitled to, not because they should...

BTW.. my response isn't just to you, its to all the people who may not realize the fact that some people can't see all posts on this site, and to the people who don't care that their posts might be offensive to others.

Maybe they should find another forum site to cry and complain on if they are unable to handle the criticism that comes with a site that is meant for the Marine Corps. These arn't boy/girl scouts on this forum site, their Marines, so you should come to expect and accept the fact that you will be talked to in an abraisive and sometimes offensive manner. Don't like it? Join an Army forum site.

hussaf
04-01-10, 10:34 PM
Anyways....

The recruiter now has to do paperwork so your husband gets paid correctly and the Marine Corps knows there are dependents. I supposed coming in with dependents is a bit of a headache and apparently there are enough applicants that the Corps can be selective as others alluded to.

Well there is always the reserves...but your husband would have to get a civilian job and reconcile the two, which can be aggravating. Good luck with whatever happens,

Adam

bucksgted
04-02-10, 12:11 AM
Maybe they should find another forum site to cry and complain on if they are unable to handle the criticism that comes with a site that is meant for the Marine Corps. These arn't boy/girl scouts on this forum site, their Marines, so you should come to expect and accept the fact that you will be talked to in an abraisive and sometimes offensive manner. Don't like it? Join an Army forum site.


Sergeant, would you use that same tone with the spouse of one of your Marines? I think not. The lady has a valid point.

tdrt
04-02-10, 09:28 AM
Some of the forums are restricted/blocked for a reason.

There are sufficient forums available that address the issues/questions spouses or non-Marines may have.

Socal2361
04-02-10, 10:01 AM
Sergeant, would you use that same tone with the spouse of one of your Marines? I think not. The lady has a valid point.

I guess your right, spouses can be considered the exception. My apologies.

DobbinsBlythe
04-02-10, 12:16 PM
Maybe they should find another forum site to cry and complain on if they are unable to handle the criticism that comes with a site that is meant for the Marine Corps. These arn't boy/girl scouts on this forum site, their Marines, so you should come to expect and accept the fact that you will be talked to in an abraisive and sometimes offensive manner. Don't like it? Join an Army forum site.



Last time I checked, Marines are always instructed to treat people with respect. Isn't it called the warrior ethos? "Be kind to all you meet, but have a plan to kill them." ??

Because someone asks for RESPECT instead of being spoken down to does not constitute as crying. Honestly, I'd love for someone to say that to my face. It's NEVER a good idea to be rude to a Marine's spouse. You never know what kind of crap an irrational, moody, pregnant, emotionally distraught woman might pull. (that's the honest truth--ask around)


My point was, maybe instead of CRITICIZING consider that the people asking questions have REASON to ask questions, so CONTRIBUTE and if you have nothing to contribute (and being offensive isn't contributing to anything but one's ego) you probably shouldn't say anything.





As far as this thread, I'm willing to bet that things are rough finding slots for new Marines, since the Corps has maxed out a lot of fields. I know for a fact that people in my husband's MOS are beginning to be encouraged to get out early. I don't know all the details, but I know boat space is limited. If that's not the reason (for sure) then the recruiter could just be giving him a hard time.

The only advice I can give is to try to be patient to find the solid answers. The Corps is all Hurry up and Wait. (Hurry up when they want you to, and wait when you want them to move.)

m14ed
04-02-10, 01:07 PM
Sick'um Dobbs !! Two great posts . Both very well said , Terse , and to the point.

DevsDad
04-02-10, 07:40 PM
You know I love you guys.. but sometimes I think folks come here (parents, spouces, fiances, whatever) because you ARE Marines. They are seeking help for what for them are very real, very upsetting problems. They don't have your training or experiences. Sometimes I think SOME put No worse enemy before no BETTER friend!

Respectfully submitted.

PS Welcome 22nd MEU OUTSTANDING job Son!

Quinbo
04-02-10, 08:10 PM
Some of the comments are presented in a pretty hard boiled manner but for the most part are based on personal experience. If you percieve a personal attack then contact admin. The do a dang good job of keeping us between the lines.

If you go on this forum asking Marines questions about the Marine Corps and get answers not to your liking don't get all teary eyed about it.

Sgt Leprechaun
04-02-10, 10:39 PM
Let's keep this one on a professional keel, people. The Spouses and family DO have an interesting point (and one that I was only vaguely aware of) regarding some of the questions.

HOWever, lets keep in mind that this is, in fact, a Marine site, run by, for, and dedicated TO, Marines. No offense, but it's not a 'friends' site. Therefore, our 'rough around the edges' answers may not always be to some's liking. Spouse, Mom/Dad Poolee, or not. 90 percent of the time, no offense is intended, the harshness of language is how we speak to each other, and can occassionally come off as 'disrespectful' to everyone else.


Oh, and to correct the quote, (Which is more of a Law Enforcement than Marine Corps thing), "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet. ..."

It's usually a 'tongue in cheek' sorta thing and not exactly 'doctrine'.

And having been married for over 20 years, to my MARINE / 'Spouse', with 4 kids, multiple deployments, etc etc, she'd likely agree with Socal. Jus' sayin.

Again...I'm letting this alone because it's food for thought.....but we've tiptoed right up to the line. Cross it, and it's over. Black helos WILL extract.

thewife
04-04-10, 09:12 PM
My husband is trying to get back in. Does anyone think that because he has 3 dependents (me and two kids) he will have the same problems as haileyjewell's husband?

Sgt Leprechaun
04-04-10, 09:14 PM
Has he been in contact with a Prior Service Recruiter? This one is sort of specialized, question wise. So, it's possible, but a different situation since he's Prior Service.

AAV Crewchief
04-04-10, 09:20 PM
My husband is trying to get back in. Does anyone think that because he has 3 dependents (me and two kids) he will have the same problems as haileyjewell's husband?


What's his reup code on his DD214?

haileyjewell
04-04-10, 09:29 PM
Im sorry if I caused any drama. I just though that actual Marines would have more experience on the subject than someone who is not. My husband talked to his recruitor again and he said it shouldn't be a problem with him going active but if I were to get pregnant (3 dependents then) he would have to go reserves.

thewife
04-04-10, 09:51 PM
Has he been in contact with a Prior Service Recruiter? This one is sort of specialized, question wise. So, it's possible, but a different situation since he's Prior Service.

He has a friend, who is a recruiter in Maine, who has been answering his questions and he said that he would not need to go to a Prior Service Recruiter. The fact that he has dependants has not even been addresses or even thought to be addressed.

thewife
04-04-10, 09:53 PM
What's his reup code on his DD214?

I doubt that he has one yet. He is waiting to talk to a recruiter until he makes weight. He does not want to waste anyone's time.

Lisa 23
04-04-10, 09:56 PM
My husband is trying to get back in. Does anyone think that because he has 3 dependents (me and two kids) he will have the same problems as haileyjewell's husband?

First, haileyjewell's husband didn't even go to boot camp, so he's not a Marine yet, and his situation with dependents is much different than yours.

Lisa 23
04-04-10, 09:58 PM
If your husband is prior service and was discharged, he has to have a reup code on his DD214 like AAV Crewchief said.

Lisa 23
04-04-10, 10:01 PM
Im sorry if I caused any drama. I just though that actual Marines would have more experience on the subject than someone who is not. My husband talked to his recruitor again and he said it shouldn't be a problem with him going active but if I were to get pregnant (3 dependents then) he would have to go reserves.

Talking with an actual Marine who has experience on the subject = a Marine recruiter.
The Marines here aren't recruiters, although there are a few who do come on the site from time to time, but we do try to give the best advice possible. The only way to get the answers you want is to talk with a recruiter.

smokediver3
04-04-10, 10:42 PM
Bold type,sharp tongues,beating a dead horse-Can't we all just get along? Or can some at least get a life and find a hobby! The short time I've been on this site I think the mods have done a decent job of keeping most in check, then again there are those who have an opinion on everything. Don't believe me, just ask a question and watch the flaming begin!

DobbinsBlythe
04-04-10, 11:16 PM
Haileyjewel, I'm so glad that things are going to work out for you! Let us know how it all plays out, especially when you find out where your hubs' first duty station will be!

thewife
04-06-10, 11:18 PM
I will ask him. Thanks.

thewife
04-06-10, 11:28 PM
He said that it is 1A

Sgt Leprechaun
04-08-10, 06:22 PM
Shouldn't be an issue for him, then.

Matthew Benard
05-31-10, 07:57 PM
I currently have a wife and 2 young girls. I enlisted this past thursday and yes I had to get a waiver and I could only go reserves. As for the waiver it was a tough one. I had to fill out a financial statement and had to stay at meps for 2 full days waiting for it to clear, but it did. Im just glad it did. As far as getting waivers my Marine liason did say it was very difficult to get one if you have dependents. He said the reason being is because while your away at recruit training you will get paid but only you can touch the money and can hardly send any home. He and my recruiter said the Marine Corps want to make sure your wife can keep up with bills and leave comfortably for three months. They dont wont your spouse calling command in the middle of recruit training Bi***** how she cant pay bills and is going tosoup kitchens to make it. Im by far not a Marine yet but I have experienced the Waiver issue and it suked. I hoped I helped some