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foreverproud
02-18-10, 05:34 PM
My son has called basically once a month since he was deployed ... maybe more like every 3 1/2 weeks. We agreed before he left that we wouldn't do any emails or other online communications, but that my letters, motomail, care packages and his calls home when possible would be fine.

So when he is able to call (which I look forward to from the moment we hang up from the last call) I always keep the conversation lite and focused on home events, friends and I ask him how he is doing, never anything specific and never ask him for any details. I've read OPSEC guidelines and abide by them.

..... however, I always have this lingering feeling of guilt or "acknowledging less" than I should have acknowledged about what he is doing or going through. Sometime I feel like I've talked to him like he was just around the corner at one of his buddies houses and I've called to see if he was coming home for dinner or not. This has bothered me for a long time ... but on the other hand I certainly don't want our precious calls to be grim or sad.

Of course I always tell him how much I love him and that I'm proud of him.... I never say I miss him, because I feel that is a distraction. We've also chosen to not reveal to him concerns about two members in the family who have serious illnesses ... at least not until he gets back to the states. I think we are right in this decision, but sometimes I think he will be angry we didn't say anything.

I'm trying to follow my instincts as to how best to support my son in all ways during deployment. I guess I'm asking for a little reassurance that my instincts are correct.

Just a little confused ....

Rocky C
02-18-10, 05:55 PM
As far as I am concered what you have just said in your Post is perfect!!!

What a Great person and Mom you are...

Rest assured...

Rocky

Komenko
02-18-10, 09:01 PM
they are correct Foreverproud! what your doing is great and should not be changed.

Phantom Blooper
02-18-10, 09:53 PM
Keep doing what your doing....keep it positive and upbeat.....


Don't worry about what he is doing.....when he comes home...he may or may not tell you.....

Just keep going the way you are.....

Did you tell him about the car?

Or is it a surprise?

Godspeed,fair winds and following seas to you and him!:evilgrin:

ARTYPIG
02-19-10, 12:14 AM
Couldn't have said it bettger myself. You're doing great and he will appreciate you for it.

Wheels123
02-19-10, 02:02 AM
Any and all support is very welcomed while deployed. Use your best judgment about whether or not you want to tell him about family members being ill. When I was deployed I had some family members fall ill and I didn't find out about it until after I returned from the deployment. Personally I would have preferred hearing about it when it happened, but then again I was not in a direct combat scenario. Might have had a different outlook if that was the case. Keep up the good work and keep us posted on how your son is doing.


Semper Fi

foreverproud
02-21-10, 05:23 PM
Thank you for your supportive replies ... sometimes I just sit here wondering. I know his next call maybe a while coming so I'm really preparing myself emotionally ... but all is good and reading...

Osotogary
02-21-10, 05:44 PM
foreverproud,
Of coarse you know by now that there are things that you can control and things that you cannot. You have good instincts, don't change them. Reads like anyone would be thrilled to dickens to have a mother who cared for them and loved and supported them the way that you do. No matter how you feel about anything, always, and this was taught to me by one of this website's members, keep a line of communication open no matter what the circumstances may be. Have you checked out your son's Battalion/Regiment website? Chances are that there is a section for support groups and family. You might just find some information that suits your needs. Who knows...you may even see a picture of your son.
All the best to you.
Have a pleasant evening. Good thoughts heading your way.
Gary