The Funniest Thing I Saw While In The Corps Was...

[prcuffs]

With this thread I hope we can share some of the funniest things we saw while on active duty, and we all can share a good laugh.

In 1984, I was stationed at MCAS Futenma in Okinawa, and I remember that we were forced to secure early due to an incoming typhoon. As we were getting soaked outside our workshop waiting for the cattle truck to pick us up, this one Marine drove by in his motorcycle and as he passed us, he began to point at us and laugh because we were stuck there waiting for the truck. As he passed us, I kept my eye on him, because unlike him, I knew that there was a huge dip on the road which he was headed for, and obviously he had no idea was there. What can I say, as he drove on laughing, he suddenly disappeared motorcycle and all in the depths of the huge hole on the street. Needless to say, as we drove pass him, he pointed towards him and grinned...........

[tdrt]

Most of the time, I was either drunk, hungover or the one being laughed at.... I'll share those stories another time.

[dROD20]

prcuffs, ahhh...thats a good one...im getting ready to pcs to Oki in a week, im stoked to explore the island.

[Quinbo]

Am-trac training on one of the beaches in Hawaii. We were taking a little break on the beach. One of the Marines caught a sand crab. The capture had injured it badly enough that it was barely moving....

[Marine84]

I'm keeping my mouth shut on this one. Wait...............I'll have to come up with some funny $h!t that happened to other folks.

[buggoffextco]

I don't know how funny this really is but I laugh now at it. When I was on Oki, when a typhoon was coming in, we had Marines in 6 by's stationed at various places in the storm minus, canvas and wood slats with the windshields gone. Not sure what the purpose of this 'storm watch" was or what those guys were going to do but I thought it was pretty silly to see these poncho clad men sitting in trucks during a storm, fortunately we didn't experience a direct hit while I was there

[temarti]

In 94 at Onslow beach I had a 10k Tram that had to be transported from the north tower to the south tower, the low boy pulled up, combat load dogged down, now the PFCs responsibility. He decided that in his vast experience taking the beach was the better way, I sat back as the A driver for the ride.

Once we past the public beach (on the beach, haha) he was getting too close to the water line, I advised him that he will get bogged down, shortly after the cab jumped up and down. We were stuck.

Now the funny part, he is freaking out, wants the Tram off, tide is coming in and the Dragon is leaning towards the water. While he ran over the dune to Recons barracks to make a call, I did what any other operator would do, sat on the dune, smoked a cigarette and watched it lean more in hopes of a full side tilt.

When he came back, his voice was shakey, he went from front to back, undogged the Tram and said that he was going to remove it, I asked if he has a license, he said no, I told him no way, we will wait.

Unfortuanantly or fortunantly it did not tip, however with two 5-Ton wreckers pulling the Tram away from the water I was able to get it off. To this day that was the funniest reaction that I had ever seen and had to soak it up as much as I could.

[sscjoe]

Most of the time, I was either drunk, hungover or the one being laughed at.... I'll share those stories another time.

That about sums it up for me too!!!

[prcuffs]

Most of the time, I was either drunk, hungover or the one being laughed at.... I'll share those stories another time.

I share your pain....lol

[prcuffs]

prcuffs, ahhh...thats a good one...im getting ready to pcs to Oki in a week, im stoked to explore the island.

ROD, have a blast, but take it from a salty jarhead, be careful, the Japanese Police is not one to take lightly. Its cool to have fun, but remember to maintain your bearing. Have a blast.

[Wheels123]

When I was in Iwakuni, we would link calls together between Subway and Pizza Hut and listen to the folks that answered the calls argue over who called who and what they wanted to order. It made it even better that they were not the best at speaking english and would go back and forth for a good half hour.

[Marine84]

When I was in Iwakuni, we would link calls together between Subway and Pizza Hut

:confused: HUH?

[Marine84]

I do remember a few Ordies pulling one of our own OUT of the shower the night before he was to rotate back to CONUS, wrapped him in bubble wrap, cut a hole in the bubble wrap where his dick was and tossed him out in the yard in front of the barracks where the OD making his rounds found him. THAT was some funny $h!t !

[prcuffs]

I remember when I was stationed in Okinawa, driving down to Gate 2 Street and after not finding a suitable parking spot, the guys and I would get out, pick out the vehicle belonging to some unknown poor soul, lifting it up and placing it on the sidewalk, were we would quickly park our car in the all of the sudden vacated parking spot.

[Wheels123]

:confused: HUH?

They have that stuff there nowadays.

[Izzame2]

Well most of the stories I know that were funny,you had to know the people and the circumstances surrounding them to even register a giggle.
I do recall arriving on Oki and being placed in a cattle car with some 40 plus other Marines.When the cattle car started driving down the road and it started passing people on the sidewalk,we all of a sudden erupted into a chorus of MOOOOOOO! MOOOOOOO! It was hilarious watching the look on peoples faces and watching them cracking up laughing as we passed by.

[CH53MetalMan]

Not one of the best stories, but on Okinawa, whenever we were out in town, and passing-by an establishment that a G.I. might drink at, some little Jap would always be standing outside trying to lure us in by saying "hi dozo" - - we would respond by saying "hi bozo"

[Garyius]

Late 80s I went to the last of the big Team Spirits. The MAGC set up a huge base camp up north of Pohang, on the beach area down that road a little from that big statue.

The SgtMaj made a rule that no one could go out for libbo without three condoms. Some of the Lts were heading out the same time I was, and didn't want to take the rubbers because they were married. They gave the guard a hard time so he called the HQ tent.

Out came the SgtMaj. They started to argue with him. He said something like "That's my rule to go on Liberty." They shut up and took the condoms. He didn't get loud or anything, just cold. It was like someone flipped a switch, though, and they shut up. Funny for a boot Lcpl to see.


Then while I was still a boot we were on the New Orleans. Our TV set didn't work so one of our salty NCOs called me and a few other boots and off we went, the NCO (sgt? maybe) with a clipboard.

We went over to another troop berthing area.

"What's that serial number?" "Blah blah Sgt" "Okay, that one, careful with it"

We disconnected it and off we went.

That's when I learned the power of the clipboard.

[Reddog48]

While on firewatch I heard a rack sqweeking. I went down and found a guy in the top rack humping his rack while still asleep. He was really going at it. Must of been having one hell of a good dream. A bunch of us watched and laughed for a while. We wanted to hear the details of the dream so when he woke up we asked him about it. He didn't remember a thing.

[GSEMarine94]

CAX 98, we wanted to screw with a couple of the SNCO's who had been screwing us over. So a Sgt and two other Cpls put together an MRE bomb and through it into their hooch. A couple of mins later it blows and out runs a bunch of ****ed off SNCO's and one female Lcpl. The ensuing argument over where she came from was hillarious and for one unlucky Ssgt a loss of his rocker.

[prcuffs]

Well, here goes another Okinawa memory: Half way through my tour in Oki, my buddy and I hooked up with some Japanese girls we met at a club and ended up at their pad for the night, You know, keeping up the international relations......anyways, we woke up at zero-dark thirty hours and realized we only had about a 1/2 hour to make muster..... we ran outside and realized that it was raining cats and dogs outside. We got into my buddy's puzzle car (if you were in okinawa in the 80's you know what I am talking about) and hauled butt back towards base. One quarter of the way there the damn wipers stopped working and we could not see jack@$#%# out the window. Me being the brain in the group, I came up with a plan...I took off the strings from my boots, kriscrossed them, lowered the windows and began pulling back and forth......wipers worked fine.......

[TunTvrnWarrior]

I am not the most graceful Marine. It was 1987 while stationed at then Kaneohe MCAS, Hawaii, I bought a 10-speed bicycle from a Corpsman that needed work. I was on my way to the back gate as fast as I could go (I believe it was Mokapu Gate) to go to Kialua for some Korean food at In-Sams. Well, the bicycle locked up, I flew over the handlebars, landing on my gut and forearms while sliding, the 10-speed flew up in the air and nailed my cranium. (Hawaiian Asphalt has shells in it, so you can imagine what I looked like). A sympathetic Marine driving by yells "9.5!" as if it were an olympic event. I got razzed for weeks in my unit.

[prcuffs]

Man, I must have been a real piece of work when I was in Okinawa, here goes another one.

One day, I was with this Japanese girl I was dating while in Okinawa. This girl was 4 years older than me and was a total model looker....I mean fine. She also had a knack for wanting to get busy, when and wherever she was.....when she wanted it I had to supply.....well one day, we went out to White Beach and she got the urge....we found a secluded spot between some bushes to park the car, it had a beautiful view of the beach and of course.....away we went.....As I was performing a perfectly "outdated amphibious assult" on this poor girl in the "secluded" spot we found, I happened to look up and noticed that the spot was not as "secluded" as we thought.....next to us was a tour bus full of japanese tourists from the main land with cameras in hand, taking pictures of us in our birthday suits....what else can I do, but respond back with the all famous japanese, hand peace sign......

[firedog974]

This is a long story, but I will condense it as much as I can.

When I was Lance in K-bay, I was assigned to crash crew. The K-bay crash crew at that time was nothing but a bunch of boots. Most of the NCo's and Staff were either already gone, or on their way out (a lot of rotating going on at that time). In crash crew, as a boot, one of the first things you learn is the dispatch post. It is basically a 24 hour post where you answer phones for non emergency call, and route them where they need to go (a secretary). You also answer emergency calls and dispatch crash crew to respond to emergencies. No one liked the job, and whoever drew it for the day would get ****ed with. One of the things we liked to do is call the dispatch from an outside phone line and say something like "I need to speak to MSGT Thomas, this is Den Dover." Or "this is Jack Mehoff, I need to speak with SSgt Rivera." We would basically make up perverted names, and see if the dispatcher would patch the call through to the Msgt from a guy named "Jack Mehoof" which, when said, sounds like jack me off. It was funny as hell for a few months until we got a new crash chief in. It was a Gunny WM, who was fresh off the drill field. She was tough as nails. One day the dispatcher got a call for her ....Her name was Gunny Bush. The guy calling said "can I speak with Gunny Bush." The dispatcher responded "may I ask who is calling?" The guy responded "this is Harry Bush." The dispatcher, a salty Lance, knew this was a joke. He responded back to the guy "well man, we need to meet one day, my name is hairy balls!" The guy on the end of the phone said "excuse me?" The Lance kept on..."maybe you could introduce me to your son, Dixie Normous, or your friend "Hair Epusy" And hung up the phone, laughing like hell(I witnessed the whole thing). Long story short...Gunny Bush's husband was Harry Bush (I swear it on my kids). Needless to say, that salty Lance was not too happy the next day when Gunny Bush had him doing squat thrusts when she learned why she did not get her call from her husband.......

[FistFu68]

:evilgrin: We had a New Cherry in our Plt.on burning Chitter detail after pulling the cut in half drums out dosed them with Diesel Fuel and lit the first one up with a Concussion Gernade(LMFAO) ain't saying who gave it too Him the Gernade that is But Chit hit the Fan literally!!! :D :iwo:

[buggoffextco]

I'll bet that was fun...

[Zulu 36]

We had a New Cherry in our Plt.on burning Chitter detail after pulling the cut in half drums out dosed them with Diesel Fuel and lit the first one up with a Concussion Gernade(LMFAO) ain't saying who gave it too Him the Gernade that is But Chit hit the Fan literally!!!

Hmmm? Let me guess who might have given that boot such a grenade. Hmmmm? :sick:

[Silentwarrior17]

This one is about me being plain stupid...

I was in Pendelton giving MOUT instruction to 2 companies of Marines out at 25 area combat town. We had just finished up with the all the stuff for the day and the Marines had just finished with their prac app. They were getting ready to do a night raid on the OPFOR and we had a couple of hours. The sun was almost down and it was pretty much dark. The Marines were all over the city just eating chow and talking. I seen a group of Marines, 4 of them, on the top of one of the buildings just talking and pointing about something and laughing. I looked up and shined my surefire up on them and said 'What in the fvck to you you whos think you are fvching doing?' Well it took about a second too long for me to realize that my light was shining in the eyes of MY company CO, the BN XO, the BN SgtMaj and and other companies Co. All that I hear was the SgtMaj say 'You got about 2 fvcking seco.... before he could finish I was gone.

[Guy1911]

Spent time on Okinawa 194-1965. Best laugh I ever had n the Corps came about on Christmas eve, 1964. I and another marine, D. J. Kelly, went to Naha to have a few bumps. We found a place that looked like fun and had some nice looking ladies working. The night got late and at midnight all the lights dimmed and the jukebox shut down. A spotlight shone on the back of the bar and out of a curtained area, in single file, there marched twenty-three young ladies. What was remarkable, they were all totally naked and carrying a lit candle, singing, "Silent Night", as they marched around the bar. Greatest Chistmas ever. Almost fell off my bar stool.

[rktect3j]

prcuffs, ahhh...thats a good one...im getting ready to pcs to Oki in a week, im stoked to explore the island.

Watch gonna do for the other 51 weekends?

[prcuffs]

1984, boy, what a year.....I remember when I participated in Operation Bear Hunt in Korea. I was walking around our make-shift shop (tent) when I saw snow fall for the first time in my life. I was so excited that I decided the best way to celebrate was to make the world's most perfect snow ball and hit my buddy Carlos on the nuggett as soon as I had an opportunity. Our tent was out in the boonies, next to the flight line where our 53's and 46's were. I picked up a nice amount of snow, and began packing it with lots of care and precision. Once it was perfect and aerodynamicly sound, I walked to where Carlos was at and waited patiently. Not long after, I saw this shadow appoaching and without wasting time, I released my snowball, which flew like a baseball thrown by a Major League Pitcher and hit it's target......the only problem was that the target was not wearing the one rocker and cross rifles, but a silver leaf....yes folks, my XO., I saw his perfectly place ****cutter fly off his head and onto the deck. In panic I attempted to run, but there was nowhere to hide. Suddenly I heard "You, Marine, halt were you are and come to attention" I froze on the spot and prepared for a good ol' Marine Corps ass chewing and a reduction in rank. Then I heard the command "About Face" which I did with the precision of a recruit in bootcamp. After what seemed an hour of standing there, seeing my career go straight down the ****house, I felt this painful chill.............yes, he created an even superiorly advanced, aerodynamically perfect snowball, and beanned the hell out of my grape.....he then burst out in laughter, yelled out "as you were" and walked away laughing........now that's Spirit de Corps

[Apache]

68-69 somewhere in there
Chu lai
Temp duty in the rear at the supply tent
Made an error and ordered a tank (santos)
Wanted a coffee pot

The delivery people would not accept "don't want it" HAD to have paperwork through the channels to return it.

Problem was where to park it so it was not noticed till it was picked up.

Parked it in front of the COs hootch

Never heard anything

Two weeks later it was gone---------

Sweatin bullets

[micarr57]

when at 29 palms in 1978 was company driver when we were in the field had to take another cpl in to main area for d&a class. On the way back we stopped at the package liquor got bottle of canadian mist and 2 cokes by the time we got out to delta corridor all was gone and so were we drove rite past our nite defensive pos had to back up pull in shut off jeep got out laughing heard some one yelling almost ran over our lt was funny watching him come out of his mummybag priceless