LONEEAGLE
08-26-03, 11:50 AM
:( I'm asking anyone who is experiencing marriage problems, i.e. tryin' to understand the "CHANGE OF LIFE" in a woman, to please respond to me, either in the forum or my e-mail in my profile.
I'm very despondent, unsure, can't get any responses from my wife, and we are constantly, well I, am constantly threatening to leave, because I'm so damn lonely, heartbroken, can't figure all of this out. She doesn't want to do anything. Except fumble with flowers. We recently moved. I have tried and tried to get her to allow me to put things away, or at least get the room(s) cleared out of boxes. No can do. I make or try to be social with neighbor's, and will help anyone in distress, a very big characteristic of having PTSD. She's been thru pure hell with me since she was 18 and I 17....I think the only reason we haven't split is because our faith, Catholic, don't allow divorces, and you are an outcast in the Church if you do divorce. We've grown apart. I wrote this little deal this morning after I got fed up with her not responding to me. She also has a trait from her Mother witnessed by me with her sister, that after a certain age time whatever, the women, two of her family start to hate men. And she doesn't want to socialize, or make friends, or see old friends, and we moved from Texas 18yrs there, had a beautiful place, that I worked my ass off on, clearing the land by hand, and she just decided one day to call me and asked if I'd like to move? I responded, where? Home. I thought for a minute. I left this State twice. I hate this state of Ill. I loved my place in TX. And she gave up all I had done as if it meant nothing. It's too hot. I don't like my job. I want to move, but to a place where I know somebody, not to anywhere I don't. Yet, with that said, she doesn't want to meet anybody, and doesn't have anything to do with her family on a regular basis, except her Sister who is a very Rich *****, and is a bad influence on her. I haven't been the easiet person to get along with. But, I think the following explains how I feel.
"Why have we grown apart
Is it because you and I want a new start
Life with me has been unkind to you
But you won't tell or say anything, so what am I suppose to do
I'm sorry I didn't give you your life choices when we were young
Why can't we get past this, let it be gone
You want me to accept responsibility
And you've told me you I guess blame me
A vicious circle has been emplaced
Heartaches, hateful words, threats somehow takes place
Never would I have ever dreamed our lives would turn out like this
And the lonliness and deep hurt I can't hide it
Each day that passes I'm filled with total unresolve
O My Dear God and Lord how long can I hang on
Give the strength and courage I've needed for so long
I would gladly do anything to right any wrongs
Yesterday, today, I fight the emptiness
When once I had some happiness
No one can or will ever be able to understand
Why or who I was and now who I am."
Please help me?
If anyone out there in this cyber world can give me advice, and understands what it's like to have PTSD, be crippled from it, and don't know from one minute to the next, what will happen, and how bitterly at times I awake, when I prayed I wouldn't, as I can't hardly stand to face each day. It becomes harder and harder as I get older (55), to try and find something to do, that will keep my mind body occupied. Does anyone understand? I'd gladly trade anyones place who has a job and a life filled with real things, instead of this unrelenting withdrawal, lonliness, deep hurt I have inside, and feel guilty because "Why can't I work?" "Why do other's claim they have PTSD and can go on? I can't.
I thank you all. This place makes me the most comfortable of all. Semper Fi.
I'm very despondent, unsure, can't get any responses from my wife, and we are constantly, well I, am constantly threatening to leave, because I'm so damn lonely, heartbroken, can't figure all of this out. She doesn't want to do anything. Except fumble with flowers. We recently moved. I have tried and tried to get her to allow me to put things away, or at least get the room(s) cleared out of boxes. No can do. I make or try to be social with neighbor's, and will help anyone in distress, a very big characteristic of having PTSD. She's been thru pure hell with me since she was 18 and I 17....I think the only reason we haven't split is because our faith, Catholic, don't allow divorces, and you are an outcast in the Church if you do divorce. We've grown apart. I wrote this little deal this morning after I got fed up with her not responding to me. She also has a trait from her Mother witnessed by me with her sister, that after a certain age time whatever, the women, two of her family start to hate men. And she doesn't want to socialize, or make friends, or see old friends, and we moved from Texas 18yrs there, had a beautiful place, that I worked my ass off on, clearing the land by hand, and she just decided one day to call me and asked if I'd like to move? I responded, where? Home. I thought for a minute. I left this State twice. I hate this state of Ill. I loved my place in TX. And she gave up all I had done as if it meant nothing. It's too hot. I don't like my job. I want to move, but to a place where I know somebody, not to anywhere I don't. Yet, with that said, she doesn't want to meet anybody, and doesn't have anything to do with her family on a regular basis, except her Sister who is a very Rich *****, and is a bad influence on her. I haven't been the easiet person to get along with. But, I think the following explains how I feel.
"Why have we grown apart
Is it because you and I want a new start
Life with me has been unkind to you
But you won't tell or say anything, so what am I suppose to do
I'm sorry I didn't give you your life choices when we were young
Why can't we get past this, let it be gone
You want me to accept responsibility
And you've told me you I guess blame me
A vicious circle has been emplaced
Heartaches, hateful words, threats somehow takes place
Never would I have ever dreamed our lives would turn out like this
And the lonliness and deep hurt I can't hide it
Each day that passes I'm filled with total unresolve
O My Dear God and Lord how long can I hang on
Give the strength and courage I've needed for so long
I would gladly do anything to right any wrongs
Yesterday, today, I fight the emptiness
When once I had some happiness
No one can or will ever be able to understand
Why or who I was and now who I am."
Please help me?
If anyone out there in this cyber world can give me advice, and understands what it's like to have PTSD, be crippled from it, and don't know from one minute to the next, what will happen, and how bitterly at times I awake, when I prayed I wouldn't, as I can't hardly stand to face each day. It becomes harder and harder as I get older (55), to try and find something to do, that will keep my mind body occupied. Does anyone understand? I'd gladly trade anyones place who has a job and a life filled with real things, instead of this unrelenting withdrawal, lonliness, deep hurt I have inside, and feel guilty because "Why can't I work?" "Why do other's claim they have PTSD and can go on? I can't.
I thank you all. This place makes me the most comfortable of all. Semper Fi.