Child support

[flatblack92xj]

y girlfriend with whom i have a son with left me a while back, i dont pay child support since i support him and help with her bills. I am looking to join here soon and was wanting to know if its a requirement to pay child support or can i continue what im doing? I just dont want state to get involved, the usually take you for everything you have here in iowa. The agrrement my ex and i have works for her.

[Komenko]

get it in writing and have it signed by her and you! you need to make it official and not by word of mouth! cause once she finds out your making more money than she is, she will come after you with the state in tow!

[Lisa 23]

My advice to you is to get a lawyer and get this all taken care of legally so the prior arrangements that you have with the childs mother doesn't come back to bite you in the butt somewhere in the future.

[flatblack92xj]

i already make more than her, i actually probably make more at my job now than i would when i join. Im not worried about her coming after me, im worried about if the Marine corps will make it a mandatory deal, or make the state get involved

[Komenko]

i already make more than her, i actually proabbly make more at my job now than i would when i join. Im not worried about her coming after me, im worried about if the Marine corps will make it a mandatory deal, or make state involved

they shouldn't! not unless your ex gets them involved by calling your command and say your not paying support. when i got divorced i made sure i got joint custody so she couldn't come after me. but i still do support my son by asking her what he needs. like WMarine said get a lawyer to seal that sucker shut cause once thats done then the state can not get involved.

[Lisa 23]

If I were you, I'd sure as heck would worry about it. If and when you do become a Marine, your chain of command won't appreciate problems like this if the mother of your child decides to do something later on down the road. Get it taken care of legally first!
Also, in my opinion, a recruiter can give you a better answer and advice on this situation on what to do.

Who is going to take care of your son while you are in boot camp?

[Zulu 36]

I agree with WMarine about making things legal. While the Marine Corps will not enforce child support absent a court order, it takes next to nothing for her to get one. After that point, you had better not miss a payment (you'll be required to have an allotment anyway).

Make sure it's your kid before making anything legal. Demand a DNA test. Once a court orders child support, it's almost impossible to get it taken off even if you can prove you are not the father. Once you "admit" paternity by agreeing to child support in the first place, the courts often flat don't care.

[ggyoung]

If it is your kid then you pay. Your comand will not like a dead beet dad.

[commdog7]

Instead of trying to aviod paying child support, why don't you man up to your responsibilities and pay it. That's the only way to avoid this legal mess.

[flatblack92xj]

Well the response by a couple of you honestly gives me little faith on the actual intelligence of some marines...at no point did i say i never wanted to support my child, so theres no reason for me to man up, or stop being a dead beat.

Ill reiterate what i said, and or those who dont know that word, means ill repeat what i said.....

I already pay part of her bills and buy him what he needs, toiletries, food, clothes, toys, etc...Im trying to avoid the state getting involved and taking most my income to the point where i pay her rent, her bar tab, and her wardrobe allowance also.

yes, his mother and family will watch him while Im at recruit training.

now to the marines whom may actually understand what Im saying, feel free to respond accordingly.

[Komenko]

Well the response by a couple o you honestly gives me little faith on the actual intelligence of some marines...at no point did i say i never wanted to support my child, so theres no reason for me to man up, or stop being a dead beat.

Ill reiterate what i said, and or those who dont know that word, means ill repeat what i said.....

I already pay part of her bills and buy him what he needs, toiletries, food, clothes, toys, etc...Im trying to avoid the state getting involved and taking most my income to the point where i pay her rent, her bar tab, and her wardrobe allowance.

yes, his mother and family will watch him while Im at recruit training.

now to the marines whom may actually understand what Im saying, feel free to respond accordingly.

I understood you, but I'm still with getting a lawyer and make it legal. Cause once your in and your command catches wind of it you will be told to pay otherwise! Its the sad truth and I've seen it happen. I was the Legal Chief for my Battlalion for a year and seen everything!

[Marine84]

Well the response by a couple of you honestly gives me little faith on the actual intelligence of some marines...

INCOMING!



I already pay part of her bills

And you want to talk about intelligence of some Marines?

[commdog7]

Well the response by a couple of you honestly gives me little faith on the actual intelligence of some marines...at no point did i say i never wanted to support my child, so theres no reason for me to man up, or stop being a dead beat.

Ill reiterate what i said, and or those who dont know that word, means ill repeat what i said.....

You might want to fix yourself civilian; you are addressing United States Marines.

I knew exactly what you meant in your first post, I'm not as stupid as you think I am. You're paying child support off the books, and it's going to come back and bite you in the ass if your girlfriend has any smarts what-so-ever. What you are doing isn't documented and it is not supported by the law. You don't want to pay child support because it's too expensive, well actions have consequences- best you learn that now. Marines are all about taking responsibility; are you sure you want to be one of us? Stop skirting the law, it will only bring more trouble upon yourself. If you don't want to get sued in the future, you need to start paying child-support the legal way; that is the only way to aviod this legal mess. I don't give a sh!t what you WANT to hear, the bottom line is: the Corps isn't going to look the other way. There's your answer.

You need to learn some respect, civilian. I'm taking a few minutes of my time (on the other side of the world) to come here and try to help you out, and you insult me because you don't like my straight-forward answer. You will have to learn to suck it up if you ever dream of becoming a Marine. 'Man up' isn't an insult, it is constructive criticism. The Drill Instructors will have fun with you....

[Old Marine]

Well the response by a couple of you honestly gives me little faith on the actual intelligence of some marines...at no point did i say i never wanted to support my child, so theres no reason for me to man up, or stop being a dead beat.

Ill reiterate what i said, and or those who dont know that word, means ill repeat what i said.....

I already pay part of her bills and buy him what he needs, toiletries, food, clothes, toys, etc...Im trying to avoid the state getting involved and taking most my income to the point where i pay her rent, her bar tab, and her wardrobe allowance also.

yes, his mother and family will watch him while Im at recruit training.

now to the marines whom may actually understand what Im saying, feel free to respond accordingly.

OK, **** for brains. You come in here looking for some help with your problem and you get your panties all in a wad when you get answers. The bottom line is that you had your dance and now you must pay the fiddler.

[ggyoung]

Civilian you had best wake up and see what is in your future as a civilian and if by chance you happen to become a Marine. The mother and child have about 95% support of the courts. If you become a Marine and every time you promoted she can take you to court for more money until the kid is 18 years old. Also if the kids to go to collage you will pay for that until the kid is 24. So as said before get good counsels. Have some kind of a plan to back you up. Now hear this. The Marines on this site whether old salts or you young salts know what they are talking about so do not get there anger up. You had best learn them.

[ameriken]

Well the response by a couple of you honestly gives me little faith on the actual intelligence of some marines...at no point did i say i never wanted to support my child, so theres no reason for me to man up, or stop being a dead beat.

Ill reiterate what i said, and or those who dont know that word, means ill repeat what i said.....

I already pay part of her bills and buy him what he needs, toiletries, food, clothes, toys, etc...Im trying to avoid the state getting involved and taking most my income to the point where i pay her rent, her bar tab, and her wardrobe allowance also.

yes, his mother and family will watch him while Im at recruit training.

now to the marines whom may actually understand what Im saying, feel free to respond accordingly.

Well the question posted in this thread honestly gives me little faith in the actual intelligence and integrity of some civilians.

We fully understand what you're saying. You're saying that you dont agree with Iowa child support laws, you have a scheme to get you out of your legal obligation to your child, and you want to know if it is ok to continue dodging the law. (Maybe Iowa law says that only the other dads in Iowa must follow it)?

The bottom line is Commdogs advice was very sound, and anyone with even an ounce of intelligence would follow it. Child support is the law, so man up, show some backbone and integrity and follow the law. It protects you and it protects your child.

As for the child support tables being high, well there's a lot of men who want to be single and free while leaving their ex with all the work, obligations and sacrifice of raising their kid. I am sure these men selfishly think that as long as they're paying for some food and diapers, that their ex's should do all the hard work for free and without complaint. Maybe the states are allowing these hardworking moms a few extra bucks in exchange for all that work. So dont whine if she spends it on her bar tab or wardrobe. She's making all the sacrifice so you dont have to, and I'm sure you'll happily pay a few extra bucks in exchange for all the work she's doing to raise your child.

[Zulu 36]

Honestly, some people.

OK, I am going to reiterate some things I've said. First, lets have a little background. I am divorced. Personally, I have custody of one of my kids, the ex has the other (the third is an adult). The court has said we're even in the child support department. But, that is me. The ex still gets half of both my pensions.

As a retired military man and retired police officer, I have seen dozens of friends get divorced or have kids out of wedlock. I've seen the child support travails they've gone through. I've been in court many times watching child support matters being argued and adjudicated. Further, I've arrested dozens of people (almost all men) for child support warrants and got to hear their tales of woe. Believe it or not, I read Michigan and Florida Court of Appeals decisions, which include child support cases. I know how these things run and it generally is not good for the fathers.

Paying child support "off the books," as you have been doing is nice and a responsible thing, but the courts rarely recognize it later when the custodial parent goes to court to put it on the books. You end up paying past-due child support from day one of the kids birth if the mother lies through her teeth because her lawyer told her how much more money she can get that way. Don't think lawyers (and women) won't do that. Don't be that naive.

"But, I already paid money." says you. "Prove it," says the judge. If you can and the judge accepts it, lucky you. Otherwise, you're stuck. How much have you paid the mother by check that says "Child Support for "month/year" on the comment line? Or was it in cash? Checks with good info on the comment line = proof. Cash = a gift (or receipt is flatly denied).

Get a paternity test. Make sure the kid is yours 100% Don't assume it is. Don't trust her word - your finances for the next 18-years are at risk. You would be surprised how many guys pay support for kids that are not theirs ("But she never cheated on me!" Bull crap).

Get a lawyer. If the kid isn't yours, let him tell her, "Sorry, but you're done with the support from my client, go hit up the real dad." A good DNA paternity test proving you aren't the real father = really good proof, but only before a judge orders support.

If the kid is yours, see if your lawyer can strike a formal, legal agreement with the mother for a set amount of monthly child support. Most states allow these agreements which may not follow the child support calculation tables. However, a judge still has to agree, so the amount has to be pretty reasonably close. If she will agree to a fixed amount, forever, so much the better for you.

Agree to pay it through the state agency that handles child support as it is much harder for the mother to argue later you've missed payments since you don't directly pay her. Use an allotment to make the payments so you're never tempted to skip a payment to buy a TV or some stupid thing (most states now require direct payments anyway).

If she (or the judge) refuses to agree to a permanent fixed amount, you're stuck with the state calculation tables, and she can return to court periodically for support review as your income increases. Hope like hell you can prove you paid support from the child's birth until the judge rules otherwise you start in a hole. Of course, if your income decreases (or hers significantly increases over yours - like if she hits the lotto or marries a millionaire), you too can go to court for a review.

Another tip from your Uncle Zulu: Watch what you say to and about Marines. We have no problems ripping your face off for an insult, real or imagined.

[commdog7]

Well the question posted in this thread honestly gives me little faith in the actual intelligence and integrity of some civilians.

What is it with civilians these days? Just when you think you are speaking to a man, you find out you are speaking to a child. When the answer we give them isn't what they were hoping for, they think we must be the stupid ones. Common sense isn't always common. 'Will the Marine Corps look the other way and allow me to continue to break the law?' No. I must lack intelligence for giving him a 'no' answer, since he was obviously looking for a 'yes'. It doesn't matter that I am a few months away from my bachelor's degree, I must really be stupid because that's what Marines are, right?

Wow....

[commdog7]

Ill reiterate what i said, and or those who dont know that word, means ill repeat what i said.....

I know what reiterate means, but let me ask you this, do you know what 'breaking the law' means? Obviously you don't.

[Zulu 36]

What is it with civilians these days? Just when you think you are speaking to a man, you find out you are speaking to a child. When the answer we give them isn't what they were hoping for, they think we must be the stupid ones. Common sense isn't always common. 'Will the Marine Corps look the other way and allow me to continue to break the law?' No. I must lack intelligence for giving him a 'no' answer, since he was obviously looking for a 'yes'. It doesn't matter that I am a few months away from my bachelor's degree, I must really be stupid because that's what Marines are, right?

Wow....

Don't feel bad CD7. I've got two masters degrees from colleges, plus a PhD from the university of the street, and some of these kids think I'm an idiot too. I think they look at the avatar rank and figure we must be dummies or we'd never "just" be Sergeants, or PFCs, or something.

Something else I don't think they notice: There are some Marines here who don't even have high school diplomas and who are still some of the smartest people on this site. I often wish I could have their wisdom.

[flatblack92xj]

Well obviously i missed alot...

Zulu...you by far have actually answered my question and i feel more informed by reading that.

Anybody thats responded to me with "attitude" please post back and let us all know if you've actually gone through the child support steps, or if you are just speaking as a parent who is still with the childs mother.

Again, i feel a few of you dont understand what i am saying. I pay for my son, i raise my son, i have him half the time, she has him half the time.

After that last part, answer me this....Why should i have to pay her 1/4 of my income when i do just as much work, and pay just as much(if not more) for my son?

And i meant no disrespect to any Marine, i just dont accept any forms of stupidity, unitelligence, ignorance with out reason, and inability to read.

[Lisa 23]

Another tip from your Uncle Zulu: Watch what you say to and about Marines. We have no problems ripping your face off for an insult, real or imagined.
I'd take this advice from Uncle Zulu if I were you.
You mess with one Marine, you mess with us all.


Obviously, you don't like the advice that has been given to you by the Marines here, so my advice to you is if you want to know anything more about the arrangements that you have with your childs mother on how you are supporting him without involving the state where you live, you should talk to a recruiter.

[Zulu 36]

Well obviously i missed alot...

Zulu...you by far have actually answered my question and i feel more informed by reading that.

Anybody thats responded to me with "attitude" please post back and let us all know if you've actually gone through the child support steps, or if you are just speaking as a parent who is still with the childs mother.

Again, i feel a few of you dont understand what i am saying. I pay for my son, i raise my son, i have him half the time, she has him half the time.

After that last part, answer me this....Why should i have to pay her 1/4 of my income when i do just as much work, and pay just as much(if not more) for my son?

And i meant no disrespect to any Marine, i just dont accept any forms of stupidity, unitelligence, ignorance with out reason, and inability to read.

Lets put it this way, if a judge says you will pay $X per month, you will. If you are in the military (not just the Corps), you WILL be paying to the penny. If you are a civilian, eventually you WILL pay, either in cash or freedom (or both). As any family court judge will happily tell you, child support is for the benefit of the child, not the custodial parent.

Why do I have to pay my ex $2,000 per month from my pensions when I'm the one with the scars on my body and mind? Because the law and a judge says so. Fair to me? Nope. But such is life. The ex thinks its just peachy. I'd rather pay her child support for my son, it would be much cheaper.

You are being disrespectful when you equate stupidity, unintelligence, and ignorance with the Marines on this forum. Some of these guys can out-think you with half a bottle of Jack Daniels in their system. I do not exaggerate.

Try playing Mr. Offended in the Marine Corps and see what happens to you. It will really suck having only $25 per payday for health and hygiene items after the CO takes the rest (except for your child support payments) for a few months, plus a stripe, and maybe 30-days in the brig. I have seen this happen more than once.

Snotty attitudes are not tolerated in the Marine Corps no matter how justified you think you are. The Corps does not much care how offended you are as long as you keep it to yourself, otherwise the lessons are most painful.

Now, drop the subject and go do as you've been advised.

[Phantom Blooper]

Give it up and cry UNCLE!:evilgrin:

[flatblack92xj]

im going to drop this now, and maybe delete it, but last question.

When was i offended?

As for the half bottle of jack, i fortunately have the privilage of sobriety, so alchoholic references are not the best for me.

[Lisa 23]

Young man, your questions have been asked an answered, just let it go already.

[NoRemorse]

...you are being disrespectful when you equate stupidity, unintelligence, and ignorance with the Marines on this forum. Some of these guys can out-think you with half a bottle of Jack Daniels in their system. I do not exaggerate. ...



You're shortchanging some of these Marines. I do believe I've seen them do it with a whole bottle in their system and "a few beers so I'm not on an empty stomach".

[Zulu 36]

Young man, your questions have been asked an answered, just let it go already.

He's like a typical teenager. Has to have the last word even if it means a slap in the suck.

[Phantom Blooper]

You're shortchanging some of these Marines. I do believe I've seen them do it with a whole bottle in their system and "a few beers so I'm not on an empty stomach".

Don't forget the HAPPY PILLS!:evilgrin:

[DADDYMAC34]

This is not true, anyone that spent some real time in Corps knows, some Marines need an ass beating......

[quote=WMarine;588951]You mess with one Marine, you mess with us all.

[Smitty Puffs]

This is not true, anyone that spent some real time in Corps knows, some Marines need an ass beating......








YEEEEEEUUT! Quoted for the truth.

[Lisa 23]

DaddyMac & Smitty Puffs....enough is enough already. If either of you two have a problem with me, please take it up with me by PM, not on the boards.
And if either of you think that by insulting me on the boards in front of everyone is going to make me go away, well....I'm not!

[commdog7]

Mods, please close this thread. All other bickering can be taken to the pm.

[Lisa 23]

Commdog, I've asked for those who have a problem with me, to take it up PM, but a few feel the need to insult me, call me out on my time in service when they don't even know the details on why I got out, and tell me that I'm not a good Marine in front of everyone.
Oh well, I tried........