View Full Version : So I found out at the end of boot camp, my mother has cancer...
Title self-explanatory. I found out my mother has breast cancer and is starting her chemo the day i'm supposed to report to SOI. She had some tube put in her today so she doesn't have to keep getting pricked by IVs...the doctor says they think they got it early enough but she has to undergo 20 rounds of chemo.
From what I've heard thats quite a bit and leads me to believe they're not telling me everything.
If I don't get Recruiters Assistance, would taking emergency leave in this situation set me up for a humanitarian seperation?? my recruiter says I shouldn't say anything because thats what will happen and i don't want that. I just want to be around for a couple weeks to make sure she's ok and taken care of.
Idk, I've got a lot runnin through my head right now. I just never thought I'd be that guy that has the huge family problem that always gets talked about before you leave.
Any advice is helpful, thanks Marines and S/F
charm1110
07-28-09, 10:33 PM
Hey Lupo,
I don't know the best answer for you but I would say don't put in for emergency leave yet, wait to see how your mother responds to treatment it could be early enough that they can get rid of it either thru chemo or surgery I'd say make sure you have the Drs. numbers and stay informed and give your mother as much emotional support as you can, if she responds negatively or starts to get worse then look at emergency leave. I know that sounds a little harsh but I lost my mom to lung cancer after a very long 2 year fight and in the end there was nothing I could do but comfort her as much as possible. Good luck with whatever you decide and your mother and you will be in my prayers.
Semper Fi...:flag:
SlingerDun
07-28-09, 10:48 PM
Hang in there Marine:beer:http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/showthread.php?t=69212&highlight=cancer
--->Dave
bucksgted
07-28-09, 11:03 PM
Lupo22, my heart goes out to you. My wife is a breast cancer survivor, twice, and I am currently in treatment for MDS/AML. I am around ladies with cancer everytime I have my chemo. Your love and support is really all you can do. It sounds like they put a "chemo port" in your mom so she doesn't have to be stuck all the time. Most of the time for blood tests, they can also draw blood thru the port. If your mom has to have surgery and you are "the MAN" try to be there for her. My wife was out of the hospital in 2 1/2 days after surgery. Your mom could be different, but that's about usual - couple of days. I have observed that most of us in treatment joke around with each other, tease about losing hair, talk about wigs, all that kind of stuff. Her docs can put her in touch with a support group and I'd highly recommend she contact them. She will open up more with the women than she ever will with you, at least that has been my observation.
May God give you and your Mom the strengh to get through this.
Semper Fi
Ed
P.S. If you ever want to just talk, PM me.
Thank you guys so much! I really didn't want to take emergency leave. But I wanted to get some opinions. She doesn't want me to either. She wants me to finish this and continue on becoming a better man. I really hope I do get recruiters assistance though because that way I can at least be here in the beginning to see how she is doing and know what to expect when I'm out in the field at SOI.
She has a support group in her hometown, but its fairly small because the popluation of the city is only a couple thousand. But every little bit helps. She did seem VERY optimistic and happy at my graduation and looked very well to me but you never know.
My stepdad told my sister the other night that my mom is making it seem better than it really is and that we could wake up one day she's just not there anymore. Sounds harsh coming from a stepdad but he's a great man...been like a father to me for 10 years now so he's just telling us how it is so we don't get too overly optimistic.
Thanks again guys. Its great to be a part of a brotherhood where i can come and get support and guidance on such a sensitive topic.
S/F!
charm1110
07-28-09, 11:34 PM
I'm glad to hear your mom has your step-dad and sister nearby while you're away and it sounds like her attitude is great, I personally believe that a good attitude will help enhance any treatment, my mother when first diagnosed was given 6 mos. to live the Drs. couldn't believe she lasted mostly happily for just over 2 yrs. Chemotherapy is very rough on a persons body and mind that's where your family's support really comes in handy for her and just understand she will have "bad days" not much you can do about that just make her laugh and smile as much as possible and understand that it ain't over til it's over. Keep us posted we're here for you Marine.
Semper Fi...:flag:
ameriken
07-29-09, 12:08 AM
I dont have any advice for you Marine, but prayers are outbound to you and your family :thumbup:
Best of luck to your mother. <br />
<br />
You only have one GOOD option in this matter. When you report in to SOI, at some point during the first day or so whoever is incharge of you will ask all the...
Osotogary
07-29-09, 01:16 AM
Outbound prayers to your Mother as well as yourself, Lupo22.
KawiGunny
07-29-09, 07:20 AM
Lupo22....Glad to see you as a Marine and not a poolee. Semper Fi!
As for your mom..... My prayers go out for her. The best thing for you to do is hang tuff where you are and keep marching forward. Your stepdad will be there if she needs any assistance. If it does get bad, then take leave. Sounds harsh but it's reallity. My mom had cancer in her breast and lymph nodes. Chemo kicked her butt for about two weeks then she could handle the treatments. She was cancer free for about 9 years before she passed away due to heart failure. When she passed, she was cancer free. Don't jump the gun yet. Emergency leave does come off the books. And as much as I hate to say, it is possible that you may need those days later. Keep in mind that some commands don't allow their Marines to go in the hole on leave unless it's a death in the family. Listen to your mom for now. Keep training. Semper Fi
Accord, if you disagree with the Marines recruiter you don't need to bad-mouth him... I'm positive you're not getting the whole story on what the discussion was. <br />
<br />
Let's just say he told him NOT to...
Hamelink83
07-29-09, 08:08 AM
Lupo, I'm sorry to hear about this and will pray for your Mom.
Thanks for all the support guys! I got a call from my recruiter this morning tell me I don't have to report to SOI until August 24th!! SO that will give me three weeks to check out her status and see hows she's doing.
I can't begin to tell ya'll how helpful you guys have been and I really appreciate all the prayers on behalf of my whole family!
God Bless all of you and Semper Fi!
Rocky C
07-29-09, 09:56 AM
Prayers Outbound Lupo to You and Your Mom and the Family!!!
Semper Fi,
Rocky
DocGreek
07-29-09, 09:59 AM
LUPO...will light a candle for ALL of your family, and a speedy recovery, with NO PAIN....SEMPER FI, BROTHER!!.....DOC
OMG it's doc with his beard cut!!!!!!!!
Lupo, my prayers and thoughts are outbound for your mom and your family. Think positive. I wish you all the best of luck through this. Please give her all the emotional support you can.
Whether you get RA or not best of luck with your upcoming training as well. Keep us informed if you can or get time. Semper Fi brother.
Thanks. I got RA for 3 weeks (till the 24th of August) so that'll help. Hopefully I can find some time to make it up to visit her. Thanks for the prayers! S/F
you'd better walk away from RA with enough people joined to give you 100 points towards picking up Cpl... don't fail yourself because your mother is sick, she won't be too happy about that.
EDIT: what I mean to say is she will probably not want to be an excuse... I hope this doesn't sound to dick-headish...
Not at all SSgt. I need two to pick up LCpl and I guess anything after that is bonus towards Cpl? I still don't really understand how it all goes.
But ya I'm going to work at it still, but its nice to be able to pick up a phone and call her anytime to see how she's doing, ya know?
SSgt Ramsey
07-30-09, 05:50 AM
Lupo:
My sincere thoughts with you and your family...it's a tough thing for sure, but as others have said, inform your new chain of command when you get there of what's going on back home....
Save your leave for when and if you absolutely need it.
The best advice I can give you, from my heart, is to be there for your mother...send her cards, give her a call, write her a letter explaining how you feel about her....that will mean more to her than anything to her...just simple things.
charm1110
07-30-09, 01:17 PM
Glad to hear you got some RA time, it should be enough to put you more at ease as you learn and observe what your mother is going through. Use your time effectively and educate yourself as much as you can about how to deal with this, there's a ton of info on medical sites such as web M.D. and the like. I learned alot when my mother became ill by searching those sites and reading about the disease and also possible treatments. I feel that once you understand what you're dealing with it's easier to relate to the person with the condition.
Take Care and God Bless...
Semper Fi...:flag:
Not at all SSgt. I need two to pick up LCpl and I guess anything after that is bonus towards Cpl? I still don't really understand how it all goes.
But ya I'm going to work at it still, but its nice to be able to pick up a phone and call her anytime to see how she's doing, ya know?
any points from RA you get as a junior Marine (non-NCO) will go towards Cpl... so your RA and your MCIs will count when you eventually rate a composite score.
Rowdy1948
07-30-09, 04:09 PM
Prayers for you and your family, Got a sister in law She is a brest canser Suvivor.
Sgt Jim
07-30-09, 07:09 PM
Lupo22,hang in there Marine.My wife had breast cancer as well,going on 4 years now free and clear.all the Marines and Corpsmen here have your back and will pray for your mom.call and give her all the support she can handle,most of all tell her you love her very much.Semper Fi
Quick update:
Thanks for all the PMs and the concerns and help! You guys truly are great and make me so proud and grateful to be a part of this brotherhood!
My mother had Chemo last Tuesday. I've spoken to her almost everyday and she is VERY optimistic! She has said that she hasn't been sick sick, but just tired and a little sore and confused. No vomitting or anything yet though. It's been a week today and it seems to be going well.
Again, thank you so much and God Bless you all!!
charm1110
08-11-09, 01:05 PM
Thanks for the update Lupo,
Glad to hear your mom is doing well.
Semper Fi...:flag:
GSEMarine94
08-11-09, 02:50 PM
Lupo, keep the faith young Marine, my mom had stage 2 lymphatic cancer. By the time they caught it, it had spread to both of her breast. She underwent some intense chemo, radiation, and multiple surgeries. It has been 6 years now and she hasn't had a sign of cancer yet.
Your family is in our prayers.
corpaki
08-11-09, 04:29 PM
My mother was sick with lung cancer and wasn't given much time to live. The Corps was great to me and stationed me at the reserve center in my hometown. Remember this was 1987. Cancer treatments have changed. Wish you the best Take care Marine!! Marines take care of their own.
Lupo, keep the faith young Marine, my mom had stage 2 lymphatic cancer. By the time they caught it, it had spread to both of her breast. She underwent some intense chemo, radiation, and multiple surgeries. It has been 6 years now and she hasn't had a sign of cancer yet.
Your family is in our prayers.
Thank you, sir! its good to hear from others who have had success. My mother only had it in one breast but had both removed so if she makes it they will do plastic surgery to make it even or something...idk. that was a little TMI for me!
But thanks to all of you! the support and prayers help tremendously