PDA

View Full Version : My boy is coming home



LHMHMOM
07-15-09, 08:05 AM
I am so confused this morning. My son left for boot camp on June 15. This week began his fourth week. He called me last night to let me know that medical is sending him home. He didn't want to talk about why so I don't know what happened. I thought that if they got hurt they were sent to MRP. Why would thay automatically send him home?

I asked if he could go back or if he even wanted to go back and he said no. I'm not sure which question that was in answer to but I think it wathat he doesn't want to go back. If he got hurt would he have a choice to come home?

NoRemorse
07-15-09, 08:33 AM
AT this point its all conjecture ma'am. Depending on the severity of the injury or when it occurred (before Boot or during) the recruit will either be recycled to MRP or EHP.

More severe cases will mean a recruit is dropped to RSP and out-processed. It sounds a bit fast for him to be dropped to RSP and sent home. If anything, when a recruit goes through a status change (dropped to MRP/EHP) a phone call will go out to the parents to notify them of such and what, if anything, they need to do.

I'll toss it up the chain to the other Marines on here for more insight.

LHMHMOM
07-15-09, 08:38 AM
Thank you NoRemorse. I don't know what could have happened to make him say he doesn't want to go back. He was in DEP for a year before leaving and worked so hard to prepare. He couldn't wait to become a Marine and now he sounds so defeated.

NoRemorse
07-15-09, 09:56 AM
There's that moment of doubt and defeat that comes up upon you when you get dropped. I was dropped to EHP before I was cleared again so I know how nasty it gets in there sometimes.

He can have a setback and lose moto for a second, but he's got to pick up the pieces and carry on. Since we don't know what happened we don't know how to proceed. There are options usually available that he could explore (read he, not you, you should not become directly involved in the process unless absolutely necessary ie, he needs civilian medical records or something).

At this point, wait until you hear more or send him a letter. Even if he's not in a training platoon it will eventually be forwarded to his new platoon.

LHMHMOM
07-15-09, 10:10 AM
Thank you again. I wrote him a letter last night. We are waiting to hear from the recruiter today to let us know what is going on. I'm beating myself up because I didn't respond very well to his phone call. I was so shocked and I didn't think I was understanding him correctly. He didn't want to talk about it and I just kept asking questions. I didn't know what to say and I definately didn't say the things that he needed to hear. I mailed some letters yesterday that I wish I could get back. They are full of how proud I am of what he's doing and can't wait until graduation, etc. The things he would need to hear if this hadn't happened. I will ask the recruiter if he has another address for him so that maybe he will receive the letter I mail today before he receives the others. He said it could be a month before he comes home.

Chumley
07-15-09, 10:54 AM
Good luck to you Ma'am!

Whatever the details are there are many reasons that a recruit may not make it through Boot. He will certainly require some family attention to get back on a positive mental track. All of us go through some tough situations and once they're over, you start a new day and carry on.

Hope he's OK!
C

LHMHMOM
07-15-09, 10:57 AM
Thank you Chumley. I hope so too.

DevsDad
07-15-09, 11:28 AM
I know lots of folks here will be thinking of you and your son mom. Hang in there and get that young man's head back up when you see him! He's already shown honor and charactor far above most people his age.

LHMHMOM
07-15-09, 11:34 AM
Thanks DevsDad. We will do whatever we have to do to help him no matter what happened or what his plans for the future are.

Osotogary
07-15-09, 12:58 PM
LHMHMOM-
Along time ago, sometimes it seems as if it were today, I was discharged, honorably, from the Air Force while in "Basic Training" for what was determined to be an "Existing prior to service" medical condition...which I didnt know existed. (I wanted to serve during the Vietnam War) Tough emotional times for sure and without a support group. What will help your son is his support group and how active it is. Looks like you've had a heads up on the situation and as the days go on you should be able to learn a little bit more. I hope that all goes well and that something positive spawns from this situation. Perhaps there are other options available for your son, as far as military service is concerned. His self esteem has been challenged. It will, when all is said and done, up to him to decide which road he wishes to take to get it back. Sometimes living with ones self is the hardest thing to do. I think that he will be fine. All the best to one and all.

marinemama
07-15-09, 01:19 PM
Thinking of you and your son. I wish him the very best when he gets home.

dizark
07-15-09, 02:29 PM
When I got injured in bootcamp (stress fracture on my foot), I was able to make a phone call home at my previous company before going to MRP, and then one at MRP. Either way, the Company Commander called originally to tell my wife I was injured and wouldn't be graduating when I was supposed to.

Spent 6 weeks in MRP. Since he's being processed so quickly to come home, it's either a serious injury or he's using something to get out of boot camp, which happens quite often let me tell you. Please find out why he's coming home, and then speak common sense into him if he is using some medical excuse to be sent home. If he's not, and he's legitimately being sent home for an injury, I wish him the best of luck.

Petz
07-15-09, 02:44 PM
anything is possible at this stage. I'm even confused as to why you didn't receive a phone call from his training command. Don't beat yourself up about those letters you sent, they could even help him out in his time of demotivation. Weigh your words carefully in your new letters.

I'd be calling the recruiter at least twice a day about this.

usmcdanno
07-16-09, 08:54 AM
I don't know what the recruiter has to do with it. You should be in contact with MCRD. Perhaps they won't tell you why he's in MRP, but it sounds to me like he doesn't want to be there. Perhaps he has claimed a mental issue or something. Which MCRD is he? If you need help getting phone numbers, I can help you. You can email me at canipeds@hotmail.com, I'd be glad to help you to find out what's going on with your son.

Petz
07-16-09, 09:02 AM
recruiters don't have the ability to get this info??! I made an assumption.

KawiGunny
07-16-09, 09:05 AM
recruiters don't have the ability to get this info??! I made an assumption.


They do have the ability but it's better to go straight to the source rather than second hand.

usmcdanno
07-16-09, 09:07 AM
It's easier for you to find out. The phone number to Medical recovery platoon at Parris Island is 843-228-2518 or x4125. If he's at San Diego, I can find out that number for you as well.

Petz
07-16-09, 09:10 AM
that's something I never thought of gunny... honestly, I didn't think they took calls... I feel kinda dumb right now to be honest.

usmcdanno
07-16-09, 09:28 AM
Certainly not my point to make you feel dumb. I'm just trying to help this lady in the most efficient way I know. I'm pretty good at answering questions about the Corps, so anything I can do to help out is my goal. I just think that the recruiter wouldn't be very proactive on this issue. It's really not in his/her interest. I talked to a recruiter the other day and he told me they spend 3 hours a day in the gym. Don't even really have a quota right now. Must be the economy (i.e. everyone wants to join). Anyway, Semper Fi SSgt, and keep reading Sun-Tzu, the master of the art of warfare.

KawiGunny
07-16-09, 09:33 AM
Like Danno said. Most recruiters have done all they feel need to do just getting kids sent to MCRD. Some are busy working on other possible recruits and some are just out goofing off since they have met their goals for the quarter. Finding out why a kid is getting sent home isn't high on their list of priorities. Some of them will go that extra mile for you but in the end it's just better to go to the source for answers in this situation.

Petz
07-16-09, 01:40 PM
gunnies, I appreciate the motovation... I didn't mean to imply I AM stupid or that you gentlemen caused it... usually when I feel that way it only lasts all of about 30 seconds... being Married has toughened me up! haha, I'm sure you both know what I mean... right? ;)

as for Sun Tzu... if only we focused on making this required reading for any CinC and pushed it farther down the ranks (I'll try) to be taught we'd be a smarter force.

a paraphrase of master Sun "I have heard of foolish haste in battle, but I have never heard of strategically prolonging a war. Your coffers will empty, your troops will become demoralized and your citizens angered at home."

wow... what if rumsfield and bush read this???

LHMHMOM
07-17-09, 08:20 AM
Thanks to all of you for the support and offer of help. My husband and I went to the recruiters office Wednesday night at about 7:30 and the Gunny talked to us for a long time. It is a medical release and he is in RSP. He will be home in the next two weeks. The condition is something that he doesn't want to talk about so I don't really know any more about that. My main concern right now is that he has only been through the first phase which, if I understand correctly, is the phase where they break them down. The building up process hasn't begun yet. I'm not sure how he will be when he comes home or how to deal with it. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

ScottsMom
07-17-09, 10:27 AM
I truly hope everything turns out okay with your son. My thoughts are with you and your family. Hang in there Mom!

LHMHMOM
07-17-09, 10:43 AM
Thank you Scottsmom. I'm hanging in there, I just want to hear his voice again. He is in San Diego but he isn't in a medical platoon. The recruiter told me that he is in Recruit Separation Platoon. I don't know if there is a number that I can call to reach them but my only questions for them at this point would be if I can talk to him and when he will be coming home.

The recruiter was really surprised that I didn't talk to a DI or someone. I only spoke with my son. He said they are supposed to call and talk to me and then put him on the phone. That would have been much better because I might have handled the situation better. But then again, maybe not. It is what it is and I will just have to make up for it the next time I talk to him. I guess he will call to let me know when his flight will be... I asked my husband to call the recruiter to see if he knows anything else yet.

NoRemorse
07-17-09, 11:17 AM
He can still receive mail in RSP so continue sending it. Keep him motivated; RSP is the nastiest platoon aboard the Depot. Make sure he maintains the level of discipline that his Drill Instructors have no doubt instilled in him for however long he was in training.

I've seen plenty get sent home only to stay motivated and make another go at it. The ones who get nasty and forget why they came in the first place either don't try again or have difficulty when they do.

Good luck to you and your family. Never forget that your son is part of the 2% in this country at actually stand on the yellow footprints and test themselves.

LHMHMOM
07-17-09, 12:01 PM
Thanks NoRemorse. I don't think he will want to try again. I could be wrong but he sounds really disillusioned right now. The recruiter said he would have to wait two years so maybe things will change between now and then. My younger son plans to join in two years so I feel like they will either go in together or neither one will go.

dizark
07-17-09, 05:06 PM
I wish him the best of luck and hope that if he can go back in that he decides to go back. It's been a decent experience thus far for me even though I'm still a student I'm the Marines training for my job. Seeing how I'm so motivated right now I can only hope or expect my motivation grows more once I hit the fleet.

Take care and good luck to you all.

jetdoc
07-20-09, 02:32 PM
I find it perplexing that your son is being discharged for a medical reason and NOBODY is telling you what that exact reason is.

I would want my son to man up and tell me, but if he didn't I sure as heck would DEMAND the Marine Corps to clear it up and tell me....like yesterday.

thewookie
07-20-09, 02:37 PM
I find it perplexing that your son is being discharged for a medical reason and NOBODY is telling you what that exact reason is.

I would want my son to man up and tell me, but if he didn't I sure as heck would DEMAND the Marine Corps to clear it up and tell me....like yesterday.

Following this from afar makes me think the same.:confused:

jetdoc
07-20-09, 02:46 PM
Following this from afar makes me think the same.:confused:

I hear you Wook, we are looking at it from a different angle as we were both in the Corps. What we would expect from the Marines and what someone with a kid who was in bootcamp would expect must be different.

There has got to be more to the story that a simple med.

I'm not trying to talk to you like you're not here, LHMHMOM, I am expressing my opinion as both a Marine and a parent....however not a Marine parent.

I hope it clears up soon for you. But I'd tell you, I would have to be on the horn down to MCRDPI talking to someone and getting some answers, but thats just me.

Quinbo
07-20-09, 03:04 PM
Purely speculation on my part but there are a few scenarios that come to mind that a lad might try to hide from his mom.

Popped on the wiz quiz....
Refused to train
Threatened or attempted suicide

The third one could very well be labeled a medical problem. Any one of them would get you sent packing.

I hope it is none of the above but the 2 year thing kind of raised a red flag for me.

Wyoming
07-20-09, 03:45 PM
Purely speculation on my part but there are a few scenarios that come to mind that a lad might try to hide from his mom.

Popped on the wiz quiz....
Refused to train
Threatened or attempted suicide

The third one could very well be labeled a medical problem. Any one of them would get you sent packing.

I hope it is none of the above but the 2 year thing kind of raised a red flag for me.

Bulk, you raised what I wanted too, and what LHMHMOM does not want to hear, BUT, methinks ........

LHMHMOM
07-20-09, 03:53 PM
Thank you for all of your ideas and concern. My son's recruiter has been transferred to CA and his replacement had to leave the state before my son went to boot camp because his mom is very ill. This could be part of the reason we aren't getting a lot of information. We have been talking to Gunny, the head recruiter for our area and he has been helpful. He gave us a little info but I still don't know any details. It is a medical issue but not the one's you all have mentioned. It's very personal and I understand why he didn't want to talk about it on the phone. It's something that his bio dad had issues with but he has never had this problem in the past.

As for the two year thing, that is what the recruiter told me. Why does two years raise a red flag? Is it normally shorter than that? Is this something the recruiter could be wrong about? I didn't realize that wasn't normal or I would have asked.

I haven't heard from my son again and I haven't talked to the recruiter since mid last week. I work during the day and I hate to call from work because I get upset when I talk about it. I will try to call him when I get off of work this evening. I think Gunny is on vacation but there is another recruiter that we have become very close to over the last year. I know he will help if he can. Where can I find a phone number for RSP in San Diego? Do they have their own phone number? I do have an email address for his SDI but I hesitate to use it because he is no longer in that platoon. Would he be able to tell me who to call?

jetdoc
07-20-09, 04:34 PM
Well it seems you know what it is then.

LHMHMOM
07-20-09, 04:40 PM
Yes, I do know what it is now and I feel a little better. I would still like to hear something from him and to find out when he will be coming home. Will they be able to tell me that yet?

jetdoc
07-20-09, 06:24 PM
Well we don't know you, and you don't know us....so what the heck is it? I would think someone knows the time frame for the process his is going through.

teuffelhunden
07-20-09, 07:09 PM
I do not know all the particulars and am a little confused as to why the command did not call you. If you can call the MCRD where he is at. They should be able to tell you something. If they cannot help you then email me at cksmith34@live.com and I will do everything I can to help. I hope I am wrong but it sounds as if he has lost motivation and wants out of there. If that is the case talk some sense to him if he will listen and maybe they will let him stay, either way when he gets home he is probably going to feel down in the dumps. So you need to help get his head held up and move on. Good Luck tp the both of you.

NoRemorse
07-20-09, 08:39 PM
He won't be rapid dropped for refusing to train. He'd be recycled. A suicide attempt takes a while as well and he'd be under constant surveillance.

A congenital defect or other pre-existing condition would have him out on a COG or Erroneous or Fraudulent depending on his Senior, Co and Bn Commanders, as well as the Depot Commander. Usually what happens is they'll ask him about any pre-existing conditions and have him sign a medical release form that they'd forward to whichever source has such records.

If they're saying 2 years then it sounds like an Erroneous or Fraudulent Enlistment because of a pre-existing condition that was exacerbated by training but not disabling or not severe enough to earn a disability rating over 10-20%.

You can get past a lot of stuff and he may indeed have a chance at going back in but what he does for the next few years is very important and will help establish a pattern for the Corps and any other interested organization to review.

This is purely speculation because it could go a number of ways at this point.

LHMHMOM
07-21-09, 08:49 AM
I don't want to be specific because he may read this someday. He was going through a rough time mentally when this happened and I am really concerned about that but it is a medical issue. I asked Gunny if he did something to get out and was told no, he didn't have a choice. I wish I would have had the opportunity to talk to my son if for no other reason than to help get him through the rough patch before this medical issue came up. I'm very concerned about his attitude about the Corps. If he chooses not to try again that's ok, I just don't want it to be because he left at a time when his motivation was down.

From the little that my son said when he called and what Gunny has told us everything points to medical release, not fradulent enlistment. It's not a suicide attempt or refusing to train. It is something that we can deal with and get a waiver for and is not due to an injury.

Thank you again to all of you for your concern. It helps me to hear these things from men who know what the possibilities are. My mind goes through all kinds of things that could have happened and when I read some of these things I realize that it really could be worse. I still don't know the particulars of what happened but I do know that besides the medical issue something happened to change his attitude over night. I see a distinct change from the letters that I received from him from the beginning to the two letters that I received from him after I received the call. I just hate that it all happened at the same time.

Rocky C
07-21-09, 09:32 AM
My Thoughts and Prayers are with You and Your Son for Quick Healing of Mind, Body and Spirit.
Everything will turn out Fine.
Semper Fi,
Rocky

LHMHMOM
07-21-09, 09:34 AM
Thank you RhodeIsland.

Rocky C
07-21-09, 09:39 AM
Your Welcome :)

TJR1070
07-21-09, 09:41 AM
I would hope that you would tell your son that one part of his support group resides on this site and that if he does need to talk I'm sure the senior Marines on this site will be able to give him some direction. There are alot of different paths he can take after this I just hope he choose the right one for him. I wish him luck and a speedy recovery. Semper Fidelis!

LHMHMOM
07-21-09, 10:03 AM
Thank you TJR 1070. I will definately tell him that you all are here for him if he needs to "talk" about anything. The recruiters have also said they would be happy to talk to him. I have an email address for the SDI from his training platoon. I think I will email him to ask how I can find out when he is coming home and see if he knows how my son is doing, physically and mentally.

DocGreek
07-21-09, 10:10 AM
MOM...you, and your Son have my COMPLETE support. Prayers out to you both for a peaceful transition.....Doc Greek

LHMHMOM
07-21-09, 10:14 AM
Thank you DocGreek. We will need all of the prayers we can get.

Sgt Leprechaun
07-22-09, 04:42 AM
Let us know when he's home, Mom.

LHMHMOM
07-22-09, 08:16 AM
I talked to my son last night and he will be coming home tomorrow night. He sounds really good compared to what I thought. He is glad to be coming home even though it's not under the best of circumstances.

Thank you all so much for the support over the last year and especially this last week. I had a very difficult time at first with his decision to join the Marines over a year ago. I learned about this website and others very early on. Thanks to you all and the recruiters and support group here I learned a lot very early on and was very supportive of his decision the whole time. I think this last week has been much more difficult than at first. Because I was able to "talk" to you about it, things were much easier than they would have been otherwise. Thank you again and I will always be grateful for your service and your support of a worried Mom at a very difficult time.

Petz
07-22-09, 10:44 AM
did you ever mention what was wrong with him?

LHMHMOM
07-22-09, 11:38 AM
It's a medical condition that flaired up during boot camp. He doesn't want to talk about it but it isn't anything serious. He was told that he will be able to reenlist with a waiver in two years which is what the recruiter told me.

Petz
07-22-09, 11:44 AM
is it from skeletal in nature or some kind of internal medicine kind of condition?

silverdollar
07-23-09, 08:35 AM
is it from skeletal in nature or some kind of internal medicine kind of condition?



Give it a rest SSGT.

Old Marine
07-23-09, 09:03 AM
is it from skeletal in nature or some kind of internal medicine kind of condition?

Need to know...........

LHMHMOM
07-23-09, 09:14 AM
I really don't want to say what the problem is in case he reads this message board in the future. It's something that he doesn't want to talk about. He is fine and will be home tonight. He can take care of the problem and reenlist in two years but at this point he said that he doesn't want to. I know that a lot can change in two years but, whatever his decision, it will be fine with me. He misses his family terribly and I don't think he was prepared for that so he is very happy to be coming home.

Thank you all again for your input on this situation and for all of the advice over the last year. I wish there was something that I could do for all of you. I have talked to our local Marine family support group and my husband and I plan to continue to help and be supportive. I know that is not for you directly but we will be helping Marines and future Marines. It's not nearly enough considering the benefits that we have received from this website as well as the local support group and recruiters.

Petz
07-23-09, 10:09 AM
I understand.

as for the other two posts... keeping it generalized to the two types of possible issues does not give away the problem, only lets us know the type in it's most general form.



LHMH... Hope he changes his mind.

LHMHMOM
07-23-09, 10:14 AM
Thank you for understanding. I think after some time passes he will be able to think more objectively about everything and he may change his mind. If he does, he knows exactly what to expect and where his weekness is so I have all of the confidence in the world that he would make it. But if he doesn't change his mind, he will go to college and I'm sure will be very successful in whatever he chooses to do. He is very smart and can do anything that he wants. I just hope he chooses wisely!! :)

Osotogary
07-23-09, 11:42 AM
LHMHMOM-
It's good to hear that now you know what is going on and that your son will be coming home to an area of support and, can I say, healing? I followed this post from the get-go because, as mentioned before, I was in similiar shoes as your son..though not quite. My termination was due more from physical/pulmonary symptoms etc.
I am duly impressed at how the members of this website rallied around your questions with tough and undestanding questions of their own. From what I see, you picked a very good website to ask your questions and voice your concerns. I hope that when your son arrives home an honest and open dialog between the both of you nurtures and grows. It's a good time to be positive. All the best.
Gary

LHMHMOM
07-23-09, 12:06 PM
Thank you Gary. Yes, the Marines on this site are amazing. I don't know how I would have gotten through this past week without them. I love reading all of the threads even if it has nothing to do with me or my son. Especially the ones where they are giving poolees a hard time!! I guess that had to stop when they were "banned" from the poolee forum, haha. I'm so addicted I will continue to read even though we won't be a Marine family.

My son has called me three times in the past two days. We talk for about 30 minutes each time about movies, college, family, etc. When he is allowed to use the phone it's my cell phone that he calls. It just so happens that no one else is around when he calls so I have had him all to myself. It makes me feel really good that he wants to talk to me and I feel like we will have a very different relationship than we did when he left. I think in time he will share with me everything that happened. He tells me a little more each time we talk. But I won't press him, he will tell me when and if he's ready. I just want to get him back and help him figure out what comes next.

Just 12 hours and 40 minutes until I have my boy in my arms!!!

NoRemorse
07-23-09, 08:43 PM
You won't be a Marine family... yet. Seen some non-hackers and medical discharges come back to the island for a second go round. Some of them even made it. Good inspirational story in there somewhere.

Anyways, don't let him close off the rest of the world and don't let him jack up his credit. For the love of God don't let him jack up his credit. Just remember that he made the journey, stood on the yellow footprints and gave it a shot unlike over 90% of America.

No one can ever take that away from him; but if he wants to try again he'll have to dot his i's, cross his t's and mind his p's and q's. Since he's already learned some of the Core values they'll expect him to follow suit and live his life accordingly.

Don't be surprised if he opens the hatch for you... a lot.

kfisbusy
07-23-09, 09:49 PM
I am so confused this morning. My son left for boot camp on June 15. This week began his fourth week. He called me last night to let me know that medical is sending him home. He didn't want to talk about why so I don't know what happened. I thought that if they got hurt they were sent to MRP. Why would thay automatically send him home?

I asked if he could go back or if he even wanted to go back and he said no. I'm not sure which question that was in answer to but I think it wathat he doesn't want to go back. If he got hurt would he have a choice to come home? I am also confused on this dael I also was thinking that they were sent to MRP. unless he was hurt worse than he is telling at this time I hope that he is not hurt to bad. Today they have chaged alot so I wish I had a answer for you .:nerd:

kfisbusy
07-23-09, 09:59 PM
I have benn hearing that Jane Fonda is up to her f...ing s... with our men & women comeing home. I wish that this ***** would just go to hell. this is from a vitnam vet. I do not know what she thinks of Her Dad because He was doing the same job that we all have done.

LHMHMOM
07-27-09, 08:46 AM
Well, we picked my boy up at the airport on Thursday night and he is great. He is so happy to be home with us. He is a little unhappy about the way some things happened but he isn't talking down about the Marines which I am very happy about. It has been such a hugh part of his life for the past year that I would hate for him to have bad feelings about it. He is going to talk to the recruiters next week but at this point says that he won't reenlist. We will see.

He want's to enroll in college but doesn't know what for yet so he will probably start out with basics. As for his credit, he has a truck but it's a single cab and he wants someting bigger. My parents have a truck that they offered to sell him and it's very nice. They offered to let him make payments to them so that he wouldn't have to make a loan. We also have a much older truck that needs work that we offered him. It's not nearly as nice and isn't ready for him to jump into and take off so I thought he might take the nicer one. He is taking the older truck so that he won't have a note. Very good decision.

There is a lot more to the story than what I originally thought. Maybe more than I will ever know but that's okay. He's home and he's fine. He wants to have the medical issue taken care of. I'm glad so that if he decides to in two years it will already be done. It's something that is probably genetic because their father had the same issue. I intend to have my younger son checked out as well so that if it's an issue we can take care of it now in case he decides to enlist when he is old enough.

I can't thank you all enough for being there for me through this last couple of weeks. Unless you have been there you can't imagine how much it helps to have people like you to lean on.

Rocky C
07-27-09, 08:54 AM
Semper Fi Mom, well said. Glad you are all ok. Please give your Son our Best.
Rocky

LHMHMOM
07-27-09, 09:01 AM
Thanks Rocky. I will definately tell him.

IDontWheeze
07-27-09, 09:22 AM
LHMHMOM, I've been following this post from the get go because I was in a similar situation to your sons in 2001. I only wish my mother gave me the same kind of support that you have given your son. As some of the Marines have said, your son deserves credit and respect for stepping on the yellow footprints and trying to earn the title of United States Marine. I never made it through MEPS, and in fact, my mother did not help my situation, but made it worse by actually helping to get me DQ'd. Please tell your son that there are plenty of people like myself who would have given anything just to be given a shot at the title, and that there are plenty of people like me who have nothing but admiration for the people who sign the dotted line and take that chance - no matter what the outcome is. There is nothing he can do about a medical condition. It is out of his hands. He has to make peace with himself knowing that he gave it his best shot - which is more than 95% of the population can say. This might sound silly to some of the Marines on this site, but it took me a long time to come to peace with myself after being rejected. I was 20 yrs old when I watched the planes hit the towers, it was very hard for me to watch my friends enlist and answer our generations call to protect America, but having to sit on the sideline myself due to asthma that hadn't bothered me in years. Please continue to be supportive of your son, and remind him that he can get another chance in 2 yrs. if he plays his cards right. I only wish that I was more informed back then, and could have tried for a waiver or some other way to get in, rather than doing the tailspin that I did for a few years after having my dreams crushed. I wish you and your family the best of luck, and from what I've read, it sounds like you are a strong family that will circle the wagons and pull through this.

LHMHMOM
07-27-09, 11:15 AM
Thank you IDontWheeze. My son seems to be doing very well and is happy with the outcome. It just was not his time. Maybe in the future he will decide to try again but whatever his decision, that will be fine with me.

I know that I don't know much about your situation but please don't be too hard on your mom. It's very difficult for us to be supportive when we know our children are putting themselves in a position of danger. I imagine it was even more difficult for her because of the position our country was in during the time you were enlisting and because it doesn't sound like you and she had this website as a support system. I'm not saying what she did was ok, we have to learn to let our chilren make their own decisions and try to be supportive even if we don't agree. But I do understand how she must have felt.

I admire you for having the courage to enlist at such a difficult time and without the support of your family. It must have been a very hard decision for you to make and then even harder not be able to fulfill your dream. Sometimes God has a way of knocking us in the head and saying "Your not listening to me, this is not what you are supposed to do!!" That's what I told my son and that may apply to you as well.

IDontWheeze
07-27-09, 12:15 PM
Thank you very much for the kind words Ma'am. I hope I did not give you the impression that my mother/family does not support the military. That is definately not the case, and my family is very much supportive of all the armed services. I have some family members that have served in the Marine Corps, and my Grandfather was actually one of the Frozen Chosun in Korea.

Without getting into too much detail and hijacking your forum, I had childhood asthma. When enlisting, I didn't want to lie to my recruiter(s) and told him everything. My recruiter said he could work with me, but when they came to meet my family my mother sat down with them and voiced her concerns that I probably shouldn't be serving with my "condition" possibly returning. I also kept an inhaler during my HS years, but it just sat in the medicine cabinet, and I never used it. I don't even know why I had it, and I never realized the problems it would cause me down the road. After hearing from her, the recruiters told me that I was medically uneligable and that was that. I never persuied it further, and never knew there where other avenues I could have taken (waivers, etc.) to get in until I read some forums on this site. I just felt sorry for myself which was only counter-productive.

Being a parent now, I think that I understand my mother was instinctively trying to protect me, but I've just always felt like I never did my part, and I left the dirty work to others. For all I know maybe I would have dropped dead from an asthma attack during a sandstorm - I highly doubt it, but you never know. Again, I wish your family the best of luck dealing with your situation.

LHMHMOM
07-27-09, 12:51 PM
It sounds like things are good with your family now and I am happy for you. I know if I had said anything, intentionally or not, to hinder my sons chances of joining he would have been very angry with me. Not being from a military family, we didn't know what to expect when the recruiters came to visit. I told them all kind of stuff. They very well could have had the same reaction that your recruiter did but they didn't.

That is one of the great things about forums like this. There is so much information for those who don't have the knowledge. Sometimes recruiters tell you to lie or not to disclose some things. I consider my sons recruiters to be wonderful recruiters but they did tell him not to tell some things when he went to MEPS. Those who know about this site have a place to come and say hey, here is what my recruiter told me, what do I do about it. From what I have read some recruiters aren't willing to put out extra effort for waivers etc. if they don't have to. Especially in good times like now when they have more people wanting to join than they can handle.

Having said that, we love all of the recruiters in our area and want to keep in contact with them. We spent a lot of time with them this last year and it has been very emotional for me, not only being concerned about my son but also the possibility of losing the bonds that we have made.