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firstsgtmike
07-23-03, 09:05 AM
The Marine, going home on leave was tired and sleepy from a long train ride in a miserable old day-coach. On top of this, two fussy old ladies were keeping him awake with argument about a window.

One wanted it closed and the other wanted it open. This fuss
finally brought the conductor. "Conductor," said one, "if
that window is opened, I'll just freeze to death!"

"And if it is kept closed," whined the other, "I'll suffocate."

The poor conductor didn't know what to do and finally turned to
the Marine for help. "What would you do, Sergeant, if it were a military problem?"

"In the Corps we handle such problems like a double-prong attack. Open the window and freeze one of them, then close it and suffocate the other."

greybeard
07-25-03, 11:59 AM
An old Gunny boarded a train for London late one night, but couldn't find an empty seat. A nose- in-the-air French woman occupied 2 seats, by placing her dog in the one next to her.
The Gunny said "Please ma'am, I'm tired & really need to sit down. Could you hold your dog so I can sit?"

The French woman replied "Hmmph! You uncouth American! Can't you see my FiFi is using this seat? Be gone!"

The Gunny goes back down the line of cars in search of an empty seat, but eventually finds himself once again at the woman's row.
"Please lady, this is the only available seat on the train, & it's 3 hrs to London."
Again the lady refuses, so the Marine picks up the pooch, throws it out the open window & sits down. The French woman screams in dismay and goes off in search of the conducter.
An old Englishman accross the aisle says "Tsk Tsk-You Americans!! You are always doing the wrong thing for the right reason. You just threw the wrong bit*h out the window."