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ColdBlooded
06-23-09, 07:52 PM
1. If you are over 35, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a
queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.


2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer--
it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch
except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about
how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here,
Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...Bun-bun, come to daddy,
snookums!' Jeeez you're so queer.


3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits.
Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.


4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or **** in a
parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his
toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.


5. If you drink anything other than regular, black coffee, you're as
fairy as tinkerbell. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf
Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man
there too.


6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four
different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as
well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.


7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs
that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.


8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list
because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on
the verge of being a salami smuggler.

sparkie
06-23-09, 07:57 PM
Shet,,,,, I take milk with my coffee. No sugar,,,,,Sugar.

SlingerDun
06-23-09, 08:37 PM
hehehehe dammnnn essay, did you git drunk and bang a tranny?

sparkie
06-23-09, 08:38 PM
Bigot,,,,,,,,,, Lmfao,,,,,,,,,

ColdBlooded
06-23-09, 11:23 PM
"Handing out free ass passes" that always cracks me up. :D

echo3oscar1833
06-23-09, 11:26 PM
That shi$ is funny:D

8th&I Marine
06-24-09, 12:32 AM
Damn near ruined my key board on that sheit. Forgot one thing when driving with one hand you are able to get stinky pinky with the other.


Cantrell:flag:

ColdBlooded
06-24-09, 06:14 AM
The stinky pinky for sure, there are a couple of more things that involve a mouth but I won't get into details.

ArtyOps
06-24-09, 06:22 AM
I think I've got enough gut to cover having a cat. Besides, you may call you dog killer but honestly, what has your dog ever killed. Right now I could go out to my driveway and find at least 20 tails from mice, I know there is a dead chipmunk under the porch and another under my wife's car and I had to tell my idiot scavenging dog to put down a severed bird wing more than once. Last weekend I watched him walk past a tree with a bluejay nest in it. A bluejay swooped down to attack my cat and protect it's nest. The first time Vern (my cat) swiped and missed. The second time he whacked him, deflected the bluejay into a tree and ripped it's head off.

Tell me having a cat is gay. I'll send him after you.

:)

ColdBlooded
06-24-09, 06:24 AM
I think I've got enough gut to cover having a cat. Besides, you may call you dog killer but honestly, what has your dog ever killed. Right now I could go out to my driveway and find at least 20 tails from mice, I know there is a dead chipmunk under the porch and another under my wife's car and I had to tell my idiot scavenging dog to put down a severed bird wing more than once. Last weekend I watched him walk past a tree with a bluejay nest in it. A bluejay swooped down to attack my cat and protect it's nest. The first time Vern (my cat) swiped and missed. The second time he whacked him, deflected the bluejay into a tree and ripped it's head off.

Tell me having a cat is gay. I'll send him after you.

:)

More then glad to send my chihuahua after you:beer:

Kegler300
06-24-09, 06:30 AM
http://www.absolutedestiny.org/pics/albums/userpics/ljicons/lollerskates.gif

killbodies3027
06-24-09, 09:13 AM
That was the dumbest thing I've ever read.

ArtyOps
06-24-09, 09:20 AM
That was the dumbest thing I've ever read.

Pretty bold for your first post here. The great thing is that no one cares what you think of it, we'll be glad to listen should you choose to contribute to the conversation. Other than that if you're looking for somewhere to go trolling I can think of a few other websites.

killbodies3027
06-24-09, 11:09 AM
What exactly do you want me to contribute to this trite and inane discussion? "durr hurr u git dem faggits!! yeeeehaww!"

Happy now?

ArtyOps
06-24-09, 11:18 AM
Keeping your mouth shut is always an option.

rickthebrowning
06-24-09, 11:22 AM
lol

charm1110
06-24-09, 12:51 PM
Keeping your mouth shut is always an option.

LOL:bunny:

Kegler300
06-24-09, 12:55 PM
http://tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:dO3VKh9pVOrrRM:http://www.everythingweird.com/images/keep-your-mouth-shut_49.jpg

killbodies3027
06-24-09, 01:04 PM
Keeping your mouth shut is always an option.

Oh, I see we have a tough guy here huh. Well, you sure told me didn't you? Wana arm wrestle about it?

ArtyOps
06-24-09, 01:47 PM
Oh, I see we have a tough guy here huh. Well, you sure told me didn't you? Wana arm wrestle about it?

LOL... Nothing against you, you just seem to want to start off on the wrong foot. I am just saying that you could have just said nothing and gone off to read something else.

killbodies3027
06-24-09, 01:55 PM
Probably, but what's the fun in that?

ArtyOps
06-24-09, 02:05 PM
I can't say that I've never stirred the pot. Welcome, have fun.

8th&I Marine
06-24-09, 03:35 PM
What exactly do you want me to contribute to this trite and inane discussion? "durr hurr u git dem faggits!! yeeeehaww!"

Happy now?

What a flucking azz hat First post and running off with the pie hole. He must be bitter cuz his cat ran away.


Cantrell:flag:

8th&I Marine
06-24-09, 03:45 PM
More then glad to send my chihuahua after you:beer:

I will put my money on my tea cup Yorkie. Damn dog thinks its a german shepard.


Cantrell:flag:

ameriken
06-24-09, 10:42 PM
I think I've got enough gut to cover having a cat. Besides, you may call you dog killer but honestly, what has your dog ever killed. Right now I could go out to my driveway and find at least 20 tails from mice, I know there is a dead chipmunk under the porch and another under my wife's car and I had to tell my idiot scavenging dog to put down a severed bird wing more than once. Last weekend I watched him walk past a tree with a bluejay nest in it. A bluejay swooped down to attack my cat and protect it's nest. The first time Vern (my cat) swiped and missed. The second time he whacked him, deflected the bluejay into a tree and ripped it's head off.

Tell me having a cat is gay. I'll send him after you.

:)Arty, you think he's trying to say that cats are pussies?

ColdBlooded
06-24-09, 10:53 PM
I will put my money on my tea cup Yorkie. Damn dog thinks its a german shepard.


Cantrell:flag:

Aren't Yorkies the "things" that look like the shaggy rug you'd put in your bathroom in case you **** on the floor? :)

Fievel
06-24-09, 10:56 PM
1. If you are over 35, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a
queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.


2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer--
it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch
except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about
how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here,
Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...Bun-bun, come to daddy,
snookums!' Jeeez you're so queer.


3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits.
Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.


4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or **** in a
parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his
toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.


5. If you drink anything other than regular, black coffee, you're as
fairy as tinkerbell. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf
Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man
there too.


6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four
different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as
well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.


7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs
that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.


8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list
because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on
the verge of being a salami smuggler.


I think that was the funniest **** I've read in a while. :thumbup: