Here's a wierd question...

[Fievel]

Is it considered PTSD to know that your house is empty, but still clear it with a weapon (I have an airsoft that is a full size M-16 because I can't get the real thing in California. I like the feel of the M-16 ...) or an invisible weapon (like your holding an M-16, but you really aren't)? I know it's not normal, I'm already diagnosed with PTSD, and am wondering if this is a side effect of it.

I get the urge a lot and clearing the house like that almost gives me the same satisfaction as I got when I used to smoke a cigarette. It's like a burning, impulsive "craving" that doesn't go away until I clear the house. I've tried to suppress it when the wife and kids are home, but if I can't get the burning craving feeling to go away, I'll go clear a room they are not in with my invisible M-16 so that I can try to get rid of the craving without them seeing me. Is that wierd? Does anyone else do that?

I know I have heard stories of people clearing the house when they get home, but I have to clear the house multiple times a day. But it's wierd because, besides training, I haven't cleared too many buildings in Iraq. It was just a handful. It was by myself, though, when we were clearing a college in Baghdad. Thoughts?

[DocGreek]

:evilgrin: FIEVEL...I'll make a "BLANKET" statement, and confirm that ALL of us suffer the same symptoms...usually with our bunkering-in from the world. Several times a day, I do the same thing...especially when I hear an ODD NOISE!! You will have to have a family meeting, and carefully explain what PTSD is, and that you are a "work in progress"! I haven't been able to contain my anger without scripted drugs....SUCKS!! Take "IT", one step at a time....can't be cured, BUT CAN be managed with drugs, and counseling. My prayers are with you Bro....SEMPER FI....DOC :flag:

[Fievel]

:evilgrin: FIEVEL...I'll make a "BLANKET" statement, and confirm that ALL of us suffer the same symptoms...usually with our bunkering-in from the world. Several times a day, I do the same thing...especially when I hear an ODD NOISE!! You will have to have a family meeting, and carefully explain what PTSD is, and that you are a "work in progress"! I haven't been able to contain my anger without scripted drugs....SUCKS!! Take "IT", one step at a time....can't be cured, BUT CAN be managed with drugs, and counseling. My prayers are with you Bro....SEMPER FI....DOC :flag:

I was hoping that it wouldn't get worse ... :(

I'm glad I'm not alone on this, and I knew I wasn't but it's nice to get a reassurance from others. I swear, driving is almost as bad because my mind wanders. I'll be driving and the next thing I know I'm visualizing sh*t getting blown up around me, cobras flying over lighting sh*t up, and I'm white knuckle on the steering wheel trying to advance on an imaginary position without getting killed. I know I sound psychotic, but I know you guys know what I'm talking about.

I think a big problem is that the VA never gave me any scripts for anything. I'm going this without meds and trying to look like I am a normal person to my family. My wife knows what I am going through as she has seen me doing crazy sh*t like clearing the house before, and she has been my sanity and my "crying shoulder" since I got back from Iraq. I stay strong in front of my daughters, though, and they have no idea what battles are raging in my head. I don't think they would, but I don't want my daughters to think I'm a wacked out Iraq veteran.

I stopped talking to the VA counselors, too, because I felt it was unproductive. It seemed like they were just asking the same questions over and over, and I guess I just got tired of talking to them. I didn't feel any better, though I guess I didn't feel any worse, either.

Thanks for the kind words, Doc! Semper Fi!

[boomer56328]

I feel I have to clear my house sometimes. I won't say often, but sometimes something doesn't feel right and I'll clear each room. I don't think it's PTSD though. I just think I'm paranoid. I did have one incident once though. I was working around July 4th in 06 and I was assigned to patrol a section of the east side of town. The east side in our town will put on a fireworks display that will rival the one the city puts on in the park. Anyway I was sitting in my patrol car catching up on some paperwork when a long succession of fireworks went off about 1/2 block away. I realized almost immediately that it was fireworks, but when it was over my hands were shaking. I sat there for about 30 to 40 min. trying to get them to stop. They finally did and it hasn't happened again. I'm really thankful I didn't get a call in that 30 min. It kinda freaked me out at the time, but I think it was just stress.

[RhodeIsland]

Prayers out to you and your Family Fievel.
You are not alone here and we all have you in our thoughts and prayers.
I'm not gonna comment any more right now cause my mind is starting to spin from reading your post and I got that bad feeling coming on.
I'm gonna try and shake it off.
Semper Fi my Brother,
Rocky

[Tracylaud83]

I've cleared the house, with weapons, and just with my empty hand (like I was holding a pistol).
Never thought of that as part of the PTSD, Makes sense now.

[CPL GG]

Good, I am not alone. I have to clear my house and do a 360 around it if I hear a strange sound. This does make sense though.

[skipper72]

This website might be of some assistance:
http://search.lef.org/search/default.aspx?s=1&QUERY=PTSD

also mine at:
http://holisticmedicine.multiply.com

Semper Fidelis...

[Pete0331]

Is it considered PTSD to know that your house is empty, but still clear it with a weapon (I have an airsoft that is a full size M-16 because I can't get the real thing in California. I like the feel of the M-16 ...) or an invisible weapon (like your holding an M-16, but you really aren't)? I know it's not normal, I'm already diagnosed with PTSD, and am wondering if this is a side effect of it.

I get the urge a lot and clearing the house like that almost gives me the same satisfaction as I got when I used to smoke a cigarette. It's like a burning, impulsive "craving" that doesn't go away until I clear the house. I've tried to suppress it when the wife and kids are home, but if I can't get the burning craving feeling to go away, I'll go clear a room they are not in with my invisible M-16 so that I can try to get rid of the craving without them seeing me. Is that wierd? Does anyone else do that?

I know I have heard stories of people clearing the house when they get home, but I have to clear the house multiple times a day. But it's wierd because, besides training, I haven't cleared too many buildings in Iraq. It was just a handful. It was by myself, though, when we were clearing a college in Baghdad. Thoughts?


Not necessarlly a symptom of PTSD.
It is, however, a symptom of effective training.

I still do random gear checks on myself, and I have to constantly remind myself that it is OK to not have a rifle in hand wherever I go.
That isn't PTSD.
It is just a remnant of 4+ years of military training.

You need to talk to your wife about it.

[Riven37]

Every night for 40 years, I still walk my perimeter before I try to get sleep. I check all windows, doors, even walk my backyard all done without a weapon ( rifle) in hand except for my knife. It has become that much a part of me my neighbors all know I'm just a bit off my rocker, and have excepted it. I even look down at my feet looking for trip wires ... It is a habit but it was so much part of my survival it will never leave me nor I leave it.

[DocGreek]

:evilgrin: "What you're going through, is normal for what you've been through."..."If you can't eat it, drink it, shoot it, fvck it, or salute it. what GOOD is it??" "Don't mean nothing...don't mean a DAM thing!!" "Don't eat ANY red berries, or wipe your azz with yellow leaves!" "BURN THE HOOCH...NOT THE PEOPLE!!!" "Got a 'Dear John'?....see the DOC!!" "Hey numbnuts...DO NOT scratch that jungle rot...you WILL NOT like how I fix that MESS!!!".....I've got more, but can't put them here!!.....DOC:evilgrin:

[Danny C Smith]

Good God I thought I was nuts for sure until I read these posts.
I sometimes get the uncontrollable urge to clear my house.
Usually with my K-Bar in the middle of the damn night.
My wife says that I sleep in a tense "attention" posture before these
"episodes" happen.
Hell I've been off active duty since 1990.
This has been happening for a long time.
I've never talked to the V.A. Doc about it.
Guess I've been living with it so long It is just part of life.
Never hurt anyone to date though.

[TJR1070]

I thought it was just a normal part of being a Marine, making sure the house was secure before lights out. It drives my wife crazy though, she doesn't understand why I won't let her sleep with the window open. Every night when I go to sleep I lay quietly for a while to listen and at the same time I'm usually formulating a plan to dispatch any intruders.

[DocWho]

Fievel,

Did they call you that at MCRD? I may have seen you at the clinic...

If you want, send a PM or E-mail and we can get a little deeper into it. The house clearing bit, not unsusual in any means. Hell, try breaking into my house! I have an air rifle, but do not be afraid of that - be afraid of the other "devices" around the house (inside and out). And people think that I do not know that much...

Yeah, I know, a sick puppy; after Naz though, I swore never to be taken alive and take as many out as I can before they get me!

[cplmike]

:flag:I know how you feel, bro, I try to tell my wife about certain things, and it seems that I get all wired, I start shaking, it is a freaking adrenalin rush,or when I start to remember things I get really depressed, my wife just says, "oh, you are in you're little mood".how the hell do I deal with this?

[Shrink]

:evilgrin: FIEVEL...I'll make a "BLANKET" statement, and confirm that ALL of us suffer the same symptoms...usually with our bunkering-in from the world. Several times a day, I do the same thing...especially when I hear an ODD NOISE!! You will have to have a family meeting, and carefully explain what PTSD is, and that you are a "work in progress"! I haven't been able to contain my anger without scripted drugs....SUCKS!! Take "IT", one step at a time....can't be cured, BUT CAN be managed with drugs, and counseling. My prayers are with you Bro....SEMPER FI....DOC :flag:

DocGreek, as usual is right on the money. May I add that should you not feel that you're able as an individual to explain what PTSD to your family and friends, that you solicit some help in doing so. I know this is more easily said than done, but my guess is that some person, maybe the VA county advisor, might be able to finger a person to serve in that capacity. DocGreek wrote:

Take "IT", one step at a time....can't be cured, BUT CAN be managed with drugs, and counseling. My prayers are with you Bro....

and I echo his comments. Hand salute! Semper Fidelis, Sully

[Shrink]

:evilgrin: FIEVEL...I'll make a "BLANKET" statement, and confirm that ALL of us suffer the same symptoms...usually with our bunkering-in from the world. Several times a day, I do the same thing...especially when I hear an ODD NOISE!! You will have to have a family meeting, and carefully explain what PTSD is, and that you are a "work in progress"! I haven't been able to contain my anger without scripted drugs....SUCKS!! Take "IT", one step at a time....can't be cured, BUT CAN be managed with drugs, and counseling. My prayers are with you Bro....SEMPER FI....DOC :flag:

DocGreek, as usual is right on the money. May I add that should you not feel that you're able as an individual to explain what PTSD to your family and friends, that you solicit some help in doing so. I know this is more easily said than done, but my guess is that some person, maybe the VA county advisor, might be able to finger a person to serve in that capacity. DocGreek wrote:

[HTML]Take "IT", one step at a time....can't be cured, BUT CAN be managed with drugs, and counseling. My prayers are with you Bro..../HTML]

and I echo his comments. Hand salute! Semper Fidelis, Sully

[Riven37]

From one Marine to another of different wars .... I still clear and check my perimeter out only difference is I made a promise in Nam I would never pick up another weapon (rifle) as long as I lived. I have kept that promise all these years but I do have knives, and this is what I use to check and clear my bunker with. Therefore, you are not alone, your as nutty as the rest of us Marines. Never feel bad about your odd behaviors if those behaviors kept you alive you're not about to give them up.




Is it considered PTSD to know that your house is empty, but still clear it with a weapon (I have an airsoft that is a full size M-16 because I can't get the real thing in California. I like the feel of the M-16 ...) or an invisible weapon (like your holding an M-16, but you really aren't)? I know it's not normal, I'm already diagnosed with PTSD, and am wondering if this is a side effect of it.

I get the urge a lot and clearing the house like that almost gives me the same satisfaction as I got when I used to smoke a cigarette. It's like a burning, impulsive "craving" that doesn't go away until I clear the house. I've tried to suppress it when the wife and kids are home, but if I can't get the burning craving feeling to go away, I'll go clear a room they are not in with my invisible M-16 so that I can try to get rid of the craving without them seeing me. Is that wierd? Does anyone else do that?

I know I have heard stories of people clearing the house when they get home, but I have to clear the house multiple times a day. But it's wierd because, besides training, I haven't cleared too many buildings in Iraq. It was just a handful. It was by myself, though, when we were clearing a college in Baghdad. Thoughts?

[virwar]

I clear my condo with a Bushmaster M 4 or Kimber 1911 - so nothing unusual there.

There is a fine line between good, solid training that keeps you alive in combat and some of PTSD's signature traits when you "come home" - insomnia, sleep disturbances, paranoia, obsessive/compulsions, rage, hypervigilance to name a few.

I finally decided to talk to someone at the VA (kinda on a whim May '07). To my surprize, they were very accommedating and quite quick to diagnose me and award me compensation (6 months).

I've heard the horror stories about the VA, and I've seen where and how those stories have/could occur, but my experiences with the VA have all been, at least, satisfactory, and most of the time very good and excellent service(s).

My advice to you is, when ever you are ready and willing to talk to someone about your situation(s), I'd say go talk with someone at the VA. AND, just as important, find a good VA represenative to file your claim for you.

Semper Fi,

Dave