ColdBlooded
06-16-09, 01:21 AM
So I felt compelled to tell you guys a funny story that happened to me about a year and a half ago while I was dating my ex-girlfriend.
So I went to the restaurant she worked at after I was done at work to surprise her and to get myself some grub. As she walked around serving her tables I overheard this guy talking about how nice of an @$$ she had. I finally decided to look at him and tell him "yea doesn't she?" He then starts telling me how amazing she looked and then began to say some pretty vulgar stuff as to what he would do to her and so on. He kept going and going until I had to end it and finally tell him that she was my girlfriend. His response was "You? A guy like you is dating her? She's like a foot taller than you!" So I let it go and let him believe what he wanted but he just wouldn't shut up about her. I then decided to end it, I was fed up with his vulgarity and the way he just kept talking about her. I went up to his friend and told him that she really was my girlfriend and that I wasn't going to do anything stupid but I was going to take care of his so called cockyness. So I finally go up to him and told him that he is completely right and that we should hit on her and get a good lay out of her tonight. He obviously didn't believe me so I just told him to watch and that I know women and how they work. So as she gets in the nearby area I call her over, and she walks towards me. As she walks in my direction I give her a wink and I looked to the side and looked at her again so she knew I was up to something. I get up and introduce myself before she said anything and he introduces himself. I told her that I really thought she was beautiful and that my friend and I would like to see her after she was done at work and she said ok. He was stunned and I thought at this point he would just leave but he ended up coming along for some more pain. So we meet up later that night and end up taking a walk on the street when we ran into a little flower shop. I go in there and buy a cheap little rose and come out and very bluntly tell her that the rose was for her. She freakin grabs it and tells me how sweet I was and asked me if she could kiss me and I told her in these exact words "Absolutely not! You want to kiss me just because I gave you a rose? You are out of your mind." You should have seen this guy's face, it was priceless. So at the end of our little outting I envite both of them to my apartment for a couple of drinks expecting him to say no after she agreed to but I guess he hadn't had enough lol. So this guy and and go back to my apartment and he just keeps asking me how the hell I'm doing this (the game I was spitting at her was the most horrible game anyone could ever apply on a female, honest to god.) All I told him was that I already told him, "I know how females work. She gets to my apartment looking really sexy. So we talk for a little and I get up and offer them a shot of Hypnotiq. Then next move I make is the closure to all of this. I only pour two shots and give him one and I kept the other. She asked me why I didn't get her one, so I basically told her not to worry about it. The guy and I end up taking the shot but I decide not to swallow it, It stays in my mouth and I lean over the table and lock my lips with hers and pretty much transfer the shot over to her and made out for a good two minutes while he watched. Once the night was over I never saw this guy again. This was a good laugh for a good two weeks.
If you have anything similar or just plain funny that you have done in your life post away.
So I went to the restaurant she worked at after I was done at work to surprise her and to get myself some grub. As she walked around serving her tables I overheard this guy talking about how nice of an @$$ she had. I finally decided to look at him and tell him "yea doesn't she?" He then starts telling me how amazing she looked and then began to say some pretty vulgar stuff as to what he would do to her and so on. He kept going and going until I had to end it and finally tell him that she was my girlfriend. His response was "You? A guy like you is dating her? She's like a foot taller than you!" So I let it go and let him believe what he wanted but he just wouldn't shut up about her. I then decided to end it, I was fed up with his vulgarity and the way he just kept talking about her. I went up to his friend and told him that she really was my girlfriend and that I wasn't going to do anything stupid but I was going to take care of his so called cockyness. So I finally go up to him and told him that he is completely right and that we should hit on her and get a good lay out of her tonight. He obviously didn't believe me so I just told him to watch and that I know women and how they work. So as she gets in the nearby area I call her over, and she walks towards me. As she walks in my direction I give her a wink and I looked to the side and looked at her again so she knew I was up to something. I get up and introduce myself before she said anything and he introduces himself. I told her that I really thought she was beautiful and that my friend and I would like to see her after she was done at work and she said ok. He was stunned and I thought at this point he would just leave but he ended up coming along for some more pain. So we meet up later that night and end up taking a walk on the street when we ran into a little flower shop. I go in there and buy a cheap little rose and come out and very bluntly tell her that the rose was for her. She freakin grabs it and tells me how sweet I was and asked me if she could kiss me and I told her in these exact words "Absolutely not! You want to kiss me just because I gave you a rose? You are out of your mind." You should have seen this guy's face, it was priceless. So at the end of our little outting I envite both of them to my apartment for a couple of drinks expecting him to say no after she agreed to but I guess he hadn't had enough lol. So this guy and and go back to my apartment and he just keeps asking me how the hell I'm doing this (the game I was spitting at her was the most horrible game anyone could ever apply on a female, honest to god.) All I told him was that I already told him, "I know how females work. She gets to my apartment looking really sexy. So we talk for a little and I get up and offer them a shot of Hypnotiq. Then next move I make is the closure to all of this. I only pour two shots and give him one and I kept the other. She asked me why I didn't get her one, so I basically told her not to worry about it. The guy and I end up taking the shot but I decide not to swallow it, It stays in my mouth and I lean over the table and lock my lips with hers and pretty much transfer the shot over to her and made out for a good two minutes while he watched. Once the night was over I never saw this guy again. This was a good laugh for a good two weeks.
If you have anything similar or just plain funny that you have done in your life post away.