View Full Version : Need some advice....
I have wanted to join the Marines for the last year and I finally am in a place in life where I am able to do that without having to worry about any money troubles while I am at boot. However, while talking to my recruiter I found that I may not be able to join due to the fact that my husband is in the Army and this would create a problem with us being stationed anywhere near one another. My husband is in complete support of my choice and is happy for me that I want to do this. So, my recruiter gave me two options, neither of which sound very good to me.
I was told that my choices were to either lie and say that my husband is a d.o.d contractor in Iraq or to get a legal separation. Now the first choice just sounds like stupidity to me because both my husband and I will be receiving full BAH and BAS when we should not be. I am afraid that if I take this route it will be found out that we are both in and that I will be serverly punished for lying or maybe even kicked out and that is NOT something that I want. The second option sounds even worse. I do not want to get legally separated from my husband nor can we afford to lose the BAH if we were to do this since we have purchased two homes in the last two years.
It is so hard for me to believe that there is no other way around this. I would think that he and I could sign some sort of release form or get a waiver, since there is a waiver for everything it seems. I just don't really know what to do in this situation and my recruiter really is not giving me very good options to choose from. PLEASE someone help me out here, I have my heart set on becoming a Marine and I hate that the fact that I am married may keep me from joining.
Marine84
05-21-09, 11:50 AM
CJ - you will get nothing until you fill out YOUR PROFILE!
I can't believe you want to start out with a lie anyway - why would you do that? It's not very becoming of someone wanting to wear our uniform.
MARINECID
05-21-09, 12:41 PM
There is an active duty spouse waiver.
Isrowei
05-21-09, 12:58 PM
I can't believe you want to start out with a lie anyway - why would you do that? It's not very becoming of someone wanting to wear our uniform.
It sounds to me like she doesn't WANT to lie, that's the whole issue. It was an option that was presented to her (wrongfully) apparently by the recruiter.
CJ, look into the active duty spouse waiver. If that recruiter won't help you, find another one. Don't set aside your integrity.
Wyoming
05-21-09, 02:28 PM
Jeez, no profile, no replies.
Sorry Gunny and LT, but all that is happening now is allowing her and others to continue posting and not profiling.
Hey Marine84, I think you should have read the post a little closer. I am NOT wanting to lie nor will I lie to be able to join. Don't make judgements before having the facts.
Marine84
05-25-09, 04:21 PM
Excuse me but, IF you weren't at least thinking about it, you wouldn't be in here posting the question to us as to whether there's some other way for you to do this so you wouldn't have to lie.
Why would you want to go in a totally different branch than your husband anyway? Why join the military period?
Hodgesml
05-25-09, 05:35 PM
Marine84's right, why would you want to join another branch of the military? There's no way they could put you together for any length of time, Unless you want to get stuck in the same spot your whole time. MCAS Yuma also has Yuma Proving Grounds for the Army but then it will depend on both of your MOS's.
DON'T LIE or YOU WILL BE IN A WORLD OF SH**!!!!! Good Luck! I'd probably just join the Army and be done with it.
I feel hardly to believe that the recruiter tells someone to lie and it come down to marriage.
If I wanted to join the Army then I would, but I do not. I want to be a Marine. It was my husbands choice to go into the Army and I don't feel like I should have to settle for the Army just because he did. BUT I wasn't on here to ask for advice on my marriage or about if I should join or not. Plus I came on here to find a way NOT a lie because I was not willing to lie. It was either find another way or don't go in. So you prolly shouldn't make judgements on people who are coming in here for HELP.
NoRemorse
05-26-09, 11:51 AM
Lock it up, CJ88. Your bearing is lacking. Your request for help was already answered. Now you're engaging in a verbal fight with a Marine that you are ill-equipped to handle. You will lose, suck it up, lock it up, show some bearing and do as the SSgt and 1st Lt instructed you to.
No further response defending yourself is required at this point. You came in here looking for help and you received help. Now you're showing ass and disrespecting a Marine who has already earned the title.
samthomas
05-26-09, 12:13 PM
Don't lie. Even if you make it in, that will be baggage that you will have to carry forever. No matter how high you rise, you will have to worry about being found out. The damage that one little lie will do to your integrity is permanent.
The best bet is to join the Army. This would allow you to be with your husband. If you aren't going to be together, there is no point in being married.
What about joining the reserves? Are there any Marine detachments near where your husband is?
Marine84
05-26-09, 02:09 PM
So you prolly shouldn't make judgements on people who are coming in here for HELP.
That's the second time you've typed that in as many posts. I haven't read anything where anybody is making judgements. I would suggest before you join OUR Corps, you grow an extra layer or 2 of skin cause you'll prolly (what the hell is that anyway?) need it more so than some. What, do you think it's fair for you to ask us questions and we can't ask you any? How the hell do you think you'll get advice from anybody if we don't know the whole story?
C'mon! Enquiring minds want to know cause you're coming off like some little spoiled, spoon fed b!tch that hasn't really committed to a husband because you're wanting to seperate yourself from him in order to do something that you should have done BEFORE you married! I don't understand young people today! How do you think your marriage will last if you're SEPERATED for the next however many years? (I don't think we're getting the whole story here ya'll).
Stay at home! Support your husband, have babies, travel, join the PTA!
ameriken
05-26-09, 02:42 PM
That's the second time you've typed that in as many posts. I haven't read anything where anybody is making judgements. I would suggest before you join OUR Corps, you grow an extra layer or 2 of skin cause you'll prolly (what the hell is that anyway?) need it more so than some. What, do you think it's fair for you to ask us questions and we can't ask you any? How the hell do you think you'll get advice from anybody if we don't know the whole story?
C'mon! Enquiring minds want to know cause you're coming off like some little spoiled, spoon fed b!tch that hasn't really committed to a husband because you're wanting to seperate yourself from him in order to do something that you should have done BEFORE you married! I don't understand young people today! How do you think your marriage will last if you're SEPERATED for the next however many years? (I don't think we're getting the whole story here ya'll).
Stay at home! Support your husband, have babies, travel, join the PTA!
Good job 84!!!
http://i35.tinypic.com/ivy1kk.jpg
KawiGunny
05-26-09, 02:47 PM
Dayum..... I knew I popped that popcorn to early today. Guess I will just have to pop another. :beer:
I am sorry for getting upset about the responses to my question. The last thing I meant to do was disrespect any Marine. The reason I do not want to go into the Army is that my husband and I are not together, but are legally married. We do not want to get separated or divorced because we hope to work it out one day, but he just left for a 15 month deployment. He has told me more then once that I should go to the Marines and that he is completely supportive of it.
I talked to my recruiter about the active duty spouse waiver and he told me that there was no such thing. I'm not sure if it is because he is new or what the deal is. I am very nervous about the whole situation because I am cleared to physical, but I was told to lie about the fact that I get headaches and about the meds I am on. I don't understand why I am being told to lie about everything. I don't think this is the right thing to do. I don't want to lie about anything and I don't understand why I am being told to do so. My recruiter told me that they will not look into my medical files so they will never find out that I had headaches. I can hardly find that true. What should I say to this Staff Sargent would is repeatedly telling me to LIE my way into the Marine Corp and is there really a active duty spouse waiver? Would I be better off to just find another recruiter?
Wyoming
06-01-09, 01:56 PM
Sure wish one of our active duty recruiters would sound off.
Oh wait, one did -
There is an active duty spouse waiver.
Funny thing, on the way to the races, now it appears you are separated.
Why don't you get an PM trail started with MARINECID??
That way you won't get your panties in a wad on this thread.
yanacek
06-01-09, 02:13 PM
I'll give it a shot, even though it's been a few years since I was a MEPS Liaison. Enlistment into the Marine Corps for married applicants does not require a waiver, unless there are dependent children involved. Your recruiter is correct about that. Your husband though must sign a Statement of Understanding for Married Personnel. I don't recall the specific details but it addresses issues such as Housing Allowance, and drawing pay while in Recruit Training. I'm concerned though about your headaches. Applicants taking any form of medication are generally not qualified for enlistment. There are a few exceptions to this, however if you are under the care of a physician and on medication for headaches, I doubt the MEPS Physician would find you qualified.
Marine84
06-01-09, 05:45 PM
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.................the plot thickens.
You're right CJ - DON'T LIE ABOUT A DAMNED THING! Sounds like you and your husband are already married for the extra money. If you're not together anyway, divorce him, give custody of children (if any) to whomever is going to take care of them while you're gone, and go see another Recruiter. It's a whole lot easier to have a clean slate so that you can get what you want than it is to hide certain things. Your Recruiter could give a fat baby's a$$ what happens to you once you're in. If you don't tell certain things and they catch up to you later - YOU will be kicked out for fraudulent enistment.
Thank you Marine88, that is exactly what I am afriad of. I don't understand why a recruiter would tell me all of this when he knows that it's not the right thing to do. The situation with my husband is that he was seeing another woman behind my back and we are trying to work things out, but we are not sure what will happen. So, I need to make a move in my life that will better myself and I have really wanted to become a Marine for over a year. Everything about the Marines excites me and makes me crave the challange. I want that pride and meaning. I am very close friends with a lot of Marines and I know this is what I want to do with my life. I appriciate your help and I think you are right that the best thing to do is find another recruiter.
Marine84
06-02-09, 11:17 AM
Then if you want to do the right thing, start off on the right foot and get it taken care of. Divorce the DOG first - make sure that extra money is taken out of his pocket.
0231Marine
06-02-09, 11:27 AM
Thank you Marine88, that is exactly what I am afriad of. I don't understand why a recruiter would tell me all of this when he knows that it's not the right thing to do. The situation with my husband is that he was seeing another woman behind my back and we are trying to work things out, but we are not sure what will happen. So, I need to make a move in my life that will better myself and I have really wanted to become a Marine for over a year. Everything about the Marines excites me and makes me crave the challange. I want that pride and meaning. I am very close friends with a lot of Marines and I know this is what I want to do with my life. I appriciate your help and I think you are right that the best thing to do is find another recruiter.
If your story is true, I'm surprised your close Marine friends didn't beat the **** out of your husband.
I'm not saying it isn't possible either but it's not likely that if you're trying to work through something like that, then leaving for bootcamp, MOS school and a new duty station are going to help much. If anything, it's going to give him more opportunity to become a repeat offender since you're not going to be around. I agree with 84. If being a Marine is what you really want, then I would dump the cheater.
MARINECID
06-02-09, 03:23 PM
I agree with most of what yanacek stated above. However, if you have an Active Duty spouse, you must submit all documentation to MCRC G3 for review prior to depping (MPPM page 3-38 note 4). You could be temp DQ if you are currently taking meds. But DO NOT lie about anything.
Marine84
06-02-09, 05:51 PM
Trust me CJ - once you get in and get the Title - EVERYWHERE you go, the ratio of men to women is AT LEAST 100 to 1. There will be so many after you, you'll have to chase 'em away with a stick!
Later, you'll see this marriage for what it truly is.