thedrifter
05-17-09, 10:13 AM
Homefront:
The ups and downs of being a military spouse
By Pam Zich, Special to Stars and Stripes
Stars and Stripes Scene, Sunday, May 17, 2009
In honor of Military Spouses Appreciation month, I am dedicating this column to all the brave women and men who have dared to marry into the military.
There are plenty of benefits to saying "I do" to someone who is in the military. However, as most of you know, it’s not a one-way ticket to the good life. In my 19 years as the wife of a Marine, I have had my share of ups and downs as a military spouse.
I’ll begin with the wedding, in which Ron waited for me at the end of the aisle, looking handsome in his dress blues. Someone managed to capture on video the one last glance he made at the back door, his only means of escape.
But he stayed put and everything went as we had planned it, right down to the traditional sword arch we couldn’t have because most of his Marine buddies were off fighting in a war.
Marines have a habit of not staying in one place for very long, and that was something I had to get used to right away.
Military spouses have to adjust to experiencing many of life’s biggest moments alone. That includes birthdays, graduations and sometimes the birth of a child.
I enjoy the little mini-breaks that come every now and then, but when Ron goes away for six months or more at a time, I’m not a happy camper. Life isn’t all wine and roses when Ron returns from a long deployment, because the boys and I have a completely different routine when he’s not around.
It should come as no surprise to readers of Life on the Home Front when I admit that I’m the fun parent in our house. So when Ron is out of town, we have hot dogs for breakfast and Lucky Charms for dinner if that’s what we’re in the mood for.
It’s a shock to our systems when he comes home expecting us to adhere to a rigid schedule and keep breakfast cereals in their rightful place at the breakfast table.
The hardest pill for most military spouses to swallow is getting used to the constant moving required of us. Most of us are smart enough to know what we’re getting into, but that doesn’t make it any easier when it’s time to watch another moving truck drive off with all our possessions.
I have lived in places I never dreamed I would even travel to as a child and learned to call them home, making friends with people from all over the world. That’s definitely one of the best parts of being a military spouse.
But I have also watched my son get off the school bus in tears every day as he began classes at his fourth elementary school in five years. I felt helpless and somehow responsible when my child tried a little too hard to fit in at his new school.
Wanting to end this on a high note, I’ve saved the best for last; my fellow military spouses have been the people I have turned to in times of joy and times of desperation. I have relied on other military wives to do everything from picking up milk for me at the commissary to picking up Tommy at preschool after I crashed my car. They have taken care of me when my mother was on the other side of the country and couldn’t be by my side.
Without them, I’m not sure how I would have made it through these 19 years of being married to a Marine!
When we arrive in a new place, it is the other wives who make sure I can find my way around and feel at home.
A mother of three boys, Pam Zich has been married to a Marine for 18 years and currently lives in Springfield, Va. You may e-mail her at homefront@stripes.osd.mil or visit her Web site at www.lifeonthehomefront.com.
Ellie
The ups and downs of being a military spouse
By Pam Zich, Special to Stars and Stripes
Stars and Stripes Scene, Sunday, May 17, 2009
In honor of Military Spouses Appreciation month, I am dedicating this column to all the brave women and men who have dared to marry into the military.
There are plenty of benefits to saying "I do" to someone who is in the military. However, as most of you know, it’s not a one-way ticket to the good life. In my 19 years as the wife of a Marine, I have had my share of ups and downs as a military spouse.
I’ll begin with the wedding, in which Ron waited for me at the end of the aisle, looking handsome in his dress blues. Someone managed to capture on video the one last glance he made at the back door, his only means of escape.
But he stayed put and everything went as we had planned it, right down to the traditional sword arch we couldn’t have because most of his Marine buddies were off fighting in a war.
Marines have a habit of not staying in one place for very long, and that was something I had to get used to right away.
Military spouses have to adjust to experiencing many of life’s biggest moments alone. That includes birthdays, graduations and sometimes the birth of a child.
I enjoy the little mini-breaks that come every now and then, but when Ron goes away for six months or more at a time, I’m not a happy camper. Life isn’t all wine and roses when Ron returns from a long deployment, because the boys and I have a completely different routine when he’s not around.
It should come as no surprise to readers of Life on the Home Front when I admit that I’m the fun parent in our house. So when Ron is out of town, we have hot dogs for breakfast and Lucky Charms for dinner if that’s what we’re in the mood for.
It’s a shock to our systems when he comes home expecting us to adhere to a rigid schedule and keep breakfast cereals in their rightful place at the breakfast table.
The hardest pill for most military spouses to swallow is getting used to the constant moving required of us. Most of us are smart enough to know what we’re getting into, but that doesn’t make it any easier when it’s time to watch another moving truck drive off with all our possessions.
I have lived in places I never dreamed I would even travel to as a child and learned to call them home, making friends with people from all over the world. That’s definitely one of the best parts of being a military spouse.
But I have also watched my son get off the school bus in tears every day as he began classes at his fourth elementary school in five years. I felt helpless and somehow responsible when my child tried a little too hard to fit in at his new school.
Wanting to end this on a high note, I’ve saved the best for last; my fellow military spouses have been the people I have turned to in times of joy and times of desperation. I have relied on other military wives to do everything from picking up milk for me at the commissary to picking up Tommy at preschool after I crashed my car. They have taken care of me when my mother was on the other side of the country and couldn’t be by my side.
Without them, I’m not sure how I would have made it through these 19 years of being married to a Marine!
When we arrive in a new place, it is the other wives who make sure I can find my way around and feel at home.
A mother of three boys, Pam Zich has been married to a Marine for 18 years and currently lives in Springfield, Va. You may e-mail her at homefront@stripes.osd.mil or visit her Web site at www.lifeonthehomefront.com.
Ellie