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SSgt Ramsey
05-06-09, 09:29 AM
Marine's, Sailor's, friend's....

Mother's Day is fast approaching us. I understand some of you are currently deployed which may complicate contacting your mother's, but please make all attempts to do so.

This is the 3rd Mother's Day that I will celebrate alone, remembering my Mom, Lorraine Ramsey. Here's my story.

I had to jet home on emergency leave December 23, 2006 as my Mom was terminal and under Hospice Care.

I got home late the 23rd and I still remember the shock I felt when I entered my family home. My Mom had aged considerably in just a few short months since I had seen her last when she visited me in August at Camp Lejeune. She was tiny, frail, and looked exhausted.

I jumped in with her care, made sure she had what she wanted and needed, and did the running around for her for meds, groceries, whatever.

The 24th, it was a busy day. She and I had plans to go to my older Sister's house for Christmas Dinner. My Dad was just emotionally and physically wrecked, he wanted to stay home and rest which I understood and was going to bring him a plate at the least. Her bag was packed, oxygen if she needed it, and her meds.

We had both family and friends visit during the day....she was on her favorite couch, propped up, being the Matriarch that she was. It was actually funny..she was on morphine pill's to kinda calm her down, and at times she was kinda loopey and just hysterical.

Around 8 PM or so, people started to drift off. Mom and Dad had some friends which were actually family in a way that have been doing things together for some time...traveling, dinner, goofing off....just good people. Kathy was one of them and an incredible help with Mom....she had never met me before, but immediately adopted me. My Sister and her family left, along with Kathy.

Mom said she had to use the restroom, and the game plan was that I was to help her to the bathroom, then Dad would take over, and I would help her to bed for the night.

When she came to the door, she slumped forward into me passing out....I carried her to my old bedroom where she was staying. I remember sitting on the bed with her and her head just "rolled" onto my shoulder, and I remember thinking "Please, no, not like this"....my Dad was just a wreck...saying to call the ambulance, police, fire...whomever could possibly help her. It was difficult, but I asked him to call the Hospice Nurse...that's what she wanted. I called the nurse, then immediately called my Sister and Kathy to help me with Mom and Dad....I couldn't do both.

Kathy arrived very quickly, followed by the nurse...we got mom comfortable, some morphine into her, and she was resting comfortably the last time I remember seeing her.

Once again, everybody started to drift off....my sister left...then Kathy...leaving me with Mom and Dad.

Dad was wrecked, I was wrecked....he said he was going to bed. I called my wife and told her what happened...the house was dark, no lights on...I don't remember hearing or seeing him, but I remember hearing him in the hallway crying. That had to be the most helpless feeling I've had....I told Krista that I had to go, I think Mom was gone, very early Christmas Morning

I went to my old bedroom, and looked at my Mom...I had to check for vitals, breathing, anything....she was gone. She went how she wanted to, in her home, with the people she loved near. It was so hard seeing the woman I called Mom and who had gave me birth lifeless in front of me. You almost feel orphaned in a way....it's weird. It was almost like she picked Christmas as her day to leave us somehow.

I had to call 911...I didn't know what else to do....reported the death, and I called my sister....my oldest Niece answered the phone, and my Sister answered in a few minutes. I don't remember the words, but I remember hearing my Niece screaming in the background....that was so hard.

My Mom had left us, but I have no regrets....there was nothing left unsaid, we were friends, and I like to think that I was there for her when she needed me.... I have my memories with her. She loved that I was a Marine...I asked her to help pin-on when I picked up SSgt, and she attended a few Marine Corps Ball's with my wife and I.

I guess my point is this through my story....you never know how much time you have left...don't have any unfinsihed business, and leave nothing unsaid. After they're gone, they're gone...all you have left is the memories and a hole that can't be filled. Call her, visit her, do whatever you have to do....you won't regret it. I would give anything to just hear her voice one more time...to hear her laugh, see her smile...don't wait.

DocGreek
05-06-09, 09:39 AM
For those of us who have lost thier Mom's recently...it's very difficult on Mother's Day, and the holidays. My story is very similar...my Mom died peacefully, at the intensive care unit, and was treated with love, and respect...right to the end. I really miss her, and my Dad...a lot. GOD Bless them both.....DOC

Rocky C
05-06-09, 09:50 AM
This Friday, May 9th will be the 15th Anniversary of my Moms passing and Sunday is Mothers Day. She died the day after Mothers day in 1994. We were all thankful that we got to spend Mothers Day with her all day at the hospital and she hung in there to see us all together. I think of my Mom daily. I love her and I miss her. It's going to be a tough weekend for us all.
Now I'm really sad thinking about it.
I'm gonna sign out..........

Rowdy1948
05-06-09, 11:39 AM
Sorry for your loss. Lost my Mother in 1963, I was 15 something you never forget. All you Mothers out there Happy mothers Day.

txrona
05-06-09, 11:54 AM
I lost my mom in 2001 she died of Alzheimer`s bad illness she didn`t know who I was the last 6 months stayed with her all night wife stayed with her all day I was with her when she passed. Been lousy since then.
:(