View Full Version : bad situation, appreciate advice

Fox 2/23
07-08-03, 05:44 PM
My friend's nephew is a Corpsman serving with the Marines in Iraq. The family just found out that his wife is having an affair, she had to go to the hospital after a miscarriage due to her infidelity. I advised my friend that her nephew would need to know asap so that he can take steps to protect himself financially. they are a young couple, recently married, with no children. the concern is that this young man is already under a lot of stress and that this will not help. I told my friend that it is going to "suck" regardless of the time he finds out, but the sooner the better so he can adopt a defensive posture with this decietful woman. I would appreciate any advice on possible contingencies. just hoping to cover all the bases.
Semper Fi

07-08-03, 06:19 PM
I would tell him now. If he is supporting her with allotments this needs to be stoped. The situation is bad and putting off telling him would IMO only make it worst. Also better to tell him while seperated by distance and time (may allow for some cooling off). I know if it were me I would want to know. HE HAS TO BE PROTECTED reguardless of the situation TELL HIM.

07-08-03, 07:41 PM
I agree with MarineAO
But something tells me that finding out now, would distract him
and the situation he's in now would only hinder him in a life or
death situayion. May-be I'm wrong, but thats how I see it.

07-08-03, 07:58 PM
I've been thru that kind of situation before. If someone would've told me about it when it happened, would've saved me a lot of grief. Getting over it quick is a lot better then being strung thru a string of lies before being told the truth.

07-08-03, 09:01 PM
Fox 2/23,

I had a similar experience. I had this LBFM back stateside, we weren't married but I was serious about her. Problem was she wasn't serious about me, westpac widow. Alot of people knew in my platoon while we were deployed, but I was in the dark. I wish I had known sooner, because I would have let it all hang out in Australia (they love Americans down under).

It's a tough call, maybe you could tell him when he gets some liberty. Just a thought. Good Luck Marine.

Semper Fi,
Bill "Kalbo" Long

07-08-03, 09:03 PM
If you tell him now while he is over there, he might not pay attention to his mission and make mistakes that could hurt him or someone else. Plus make sure the family is not going by hearsay and they have all the facts.

07-08-03, 10:10 PM
<strike>B</strike> itch!

07-08-03, 10:20 PM
How will he be informed?
I would suggest that if there is hard info on her infidelity.
Someone should contact the chaplin of the unit he attached to.
And let that chaplin take the necessary steps of informing your nephew.
Many a man took his own life in Nam, when informed of infidelity back home.
So I caution, take the steps needed but let a professional do the informing.
Could the child she was carrying possibly be his?
That could be a possibility to think about.

Semper Fidelis

07-09-03, 02:30 AM
He needs to know. I have been there too, and it is better to get this out ASAP. Mill Rat has an excellent suggestiion here on how best to proceed.

Women....can't live with em and ya can't shoot em...

07-09-03, 08:50 AM
Way back when... I went through something similar too with my 1st wife. My then father-in-law a W.W.II Marine M/Sgt had me contacted through the Red Cross and helped arrange emergency leave. Came home and caught her in the sack with a squid Ltcmdr! Later my father-in-law testified against her when we split. He said, "Some things are thicker than Blood."

07-09-03, 09:40 AM
I agree...shoot her....or ship her over to Iraq.:bunny:

Fox 2/23
07-09-03, 06:00 PM
I appreciate your responses. Crazy how a lot of us have been through something like this, myself included. My wife walked out on me and three kids after almost 13 years. I was not in a war zone however like this young guy is. When my wife split I was like a kicked puppy, reluctant to play hardball with her like I should have, I guess it was the shock of my family collapsing.

I have spoken with my friend and she and her family are going to get help from his unit's leadership as well as the chaplain to break it to him. It's just plain gonna suck for him, no getting around it, as some of us very well know. thanks again and Semper Fi

07-09-03, 06:13 PM
Fox just like us who have gone through this we had family and friends and other Marines to help us. The best thing is to be there for him how ever you can. Plus we all are here for him as well.


07-09-03, 07:14 PM
How about this. While working in a five building facility that was connected by long enclosed walkways, I passed by a gentleman who had just entered the building. He looked lost. So I stopped what I was doing and asked him if he needed help. He said," Sure, I'm looking for (my name)." I said, "You are looking at him and he said, Here, take this. This is for you." What the heck do you know, I was just handed my divorce papers by a guy I just helped! It had to be the easiest serving this gentleman ever had to do. I told him to take the rest of ther day off. Sheet happens!
Fox2/23. I hope that everything works out in the best possible way for your friend.
Take care.

Fox 2/23
07-10-03, 11:12 AM
he was made aware of the situation and was able to call home and speak with his sister. he is pi**ed off, for sure, but did not appear to be too depressed, more angry than depressed. he talked to his sister about taking action to stop the money flow to this vixen. I think things will work out in due time. when my friend first told me of this scenario, I remembered an old Current Affair(I think it was) episode from years ago, right after the first Gulf War. a Sailor's wife was having an affair while he was in the Gulf and when he got home, the wife and her lover had him killed. At least he won't come home to an ambush like that. again, I appreciate all your responses. Semper Fi bros

07-10-03, 12:58 PM
Glad to hear things seem OK for now. And that is what we are here for to help each other.
SEMPER FI Marines.:marine:

07-11-03, 12:25 AM
I wouldn't waste a bullet on her. Let her lover have the sorry hag. Reminds me of the old adage:
No matter how sexy a woman may look, somewhere there is someone who knows she's a total BI**H!!!

07-11-03, 01:24 AM
Semper Fi........

07-11-03, 05:08 AM
OOh-Rah to that Devildogs. I had something like this happen to me aswell. I was serious with this ine girl before I went to bootcamp, we wern't married or nothing, but we were going steady for a while. All through bootcamp I sent her quite a few letters and got nothing in return. When I got back from bootcamp I decided to give her a call to see why she hadn't sent any to me. Come to find out that the day I left for bootcamp she went to a party and had relations with the first dude she saw, three months later (Same amount of time as bootcamp) She's three months pregnant. Talk about a rude awakening, I finally got back in touch with this man pleaser and soon the tides will turn with guilt, hehe. She will never forget me after. what I have planned for her. I ain't going to do nothing illegal, but it sure is going tobe fun. Semper Fi

07-12-03, 06:59 PM
I have seen a few of these some turn out bad some even worse had one myself, after 15 years and 2 kids. Screw the crazy Biotch was my attitude. We had a corporal in the Gulf I, who went the other way when he was alerted by a "friend" walked out to the berm and blew his f***ing brains out. What a cluster f***!! So a crew of his blood brothers hatched a plan. Now for the rest of the story...........

I hope this one turns out alright, you have to be careful!!