View Full Version : Need some help with discussing decision to girlfriend
brandnew161
03-06-09, 06:56 PM
Evening,
I have been talking with the local recruiter for awhile and I have made a personal decision to enlist. However I have not filled out the contract yet for a few reasons. A few months ago I had the desire to join the Army only due to the fact that it was the first branch i really looked into. My girlfriend thought it was a phase and didnt take it too seriously. Now that I have ultimately picked the Marines as a future brotherhood she has come to the realization that it is something that I truly desire.
I am a community college freshman but technically in my sophomore year on the transcript due to credits. She is a junior in high school; dating over 2 years. She is supportive and says to do what i believe is right. Obviously she is struggling with that. Her main concern is not being able to see me. I told her that if we were meant to be together then this will be worth it. Not to be selfish but on the other hand I want to do something that will make me a better person, what if me and her do not last yahno.
So in short, what are some things that i can tell her which will make things a little easier.
Thank you for your help
Marine84
03-06-09, 08:28 PM
LOL! This is what I call free entertainment on a Friday night!
ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!? Any of these guys will be more than HAPPY to take care of her while you're gone!
yellowwing
03-06-09, 08:38 PM
So you want coaching on kicking her to the curb?
brandnew161
03-06-09, 08:47 PM
I'm trying to be serious and no i dont need any tips on kicking her to the curb. I understand that it is only 3 months and i'm not worried about her cheating, if she does then whatever its not going to stop me from continuing what i want to do.
Side note: is the 10 day leave after BT taken out of the 30 day paid leave? Also, can you take days off while in schooling?
Zulu 36
03-06-09, 08:59 PM
It's your life. If she wants to make herself part of your life, she will follow. Otherwise, contact Achped for a copy of his little black book. I don't think he's using it at the moment. :D
You want to be a Marine, so you have to be emotionally prepared to put the Corps ahead of everything first and foremost. Kind of like being a priest. The church comes first, altar boys later.
I had a daddy/daughter talk just the other day with my 16-year old about a very similar topic Her boyfriend joined the Navy and is at his A-school in Pensacola (IT systems). He is trying to get Japan as a first duty station.
We discussed the possibility that he might find another girl elsewhere, either an American girl, or a foreign girl. I also pointed out that she might be the one to find someone else first. Intellectually she understands, emotionally she might feel differently should the time comes.
Zulu 36
03-06-09, 09:07 PM
I'm trying to be serious and no i dont need any tips on kicking her to the curb. I understand that it is only 3 months and i'm not worried about her cheating, if she does then whatever its not going to stop me from continuing what i want to do.
Side note: is the 10 day leave after BT taken out of the 30 day paid leave? Also, can you take days off while in schooling?
Yes, your 10-days leave comes out of your annual 30-days. And Marines don't do BT, we do boot camp. Boot camp is about three-months, but you won't get another chance for leave until after your MOS school is over - if then. You do get time off during MOS schools, but your travel distance will be very restricted. In other words, if you go to an MOS school in California, there is zero chance of going home to NY to visit sweeticakes.
So decide, Marine Corps or a social life. The two do not always meet.
brandnew161
03-06-09, 09:08 PM
^thanks for the serious reply, much appreciated. I believe she understands that reality and so do I. It may help if the Recruiter, her and I all talk about it.
Church first, Alter boys second..hahaha just caught that =]
brandnew161
03-06-09, 09:15 PM
Sorry for the mis-wording. This could probably be found elsewhere but while we are on topic; the MOS I want in Intel, is the only base for "Intel School" Dam Neck Naval Base in VA Beach?
JoeInVille
03-06-09, 11:57 PM
NAME/NUMBER! I will take good care of her for you dont worry. Im taking over Achped's spot while he is over in Iraq.
brandnew161
03-07-09, 12:07 AM
sorry its unlisted
Zulu 36
03-07-09, 10:37 AM
Sorry for the mis-wording. This could probably be found elsewhere but while we are on topic; the MOS I want in Intel, is the only base for "Intel School" Dam Neck Naval Base in VA Beach?
IF you got that school, Horseheads, NY would probably be out-of-bounds for a 48-hour liberty. Every base or unit has different distances, but a 48-hour liberty usually maxes out between 200-250-miles. Attending a school as a brand new Marine, I'd bet on the lower limits. Plus you'll have homework to do as well and the "dog ate it" excuse is an admissible confession in office hours.
You could take the chance and go anyway, but if caught, they'll pull you from the intel field in a second and you'll be burning crappers in Iraq or the 'Stan for the rest of your enlistment - at a lower rate of pay.
Also, remember, if you get her to visit you on base, the age of consent on federal property is 18-years old. Not 17-years, 364-days. 18-years. Yes, the Marine Corps can be exactly that picky.
My advice is this: If you are so wrapped up with that little girl, don't enlist. Go flip burgers for a living in Horseheads and you can live in her parent's basement happily ever after. Other Marines and your NCOs don't need you whining and sniveling all day long about how much you miss her - until she dumps you for Jody (or Achped or JoeInVille).
Covey_Rider
03-07-09, 10:52 AM
God I love how twisted we all are...
Gunner 0313
03-07-09, 01:02 PM
:flag:WTF is this crap, FU CKIN Dr. Phil ? Give me a fu ckin break ! Reach down between your legs and grab a hold of your nuts kid and act like a fu ckin man !!! If not go see the Army Recruiter PLEASE !!!
brandnew161
03-07-09, 03:52 PM
I thought this was a pretty common sense question. I understand I am you and unexperienced but what if I was 25 married and wanted to join the Corps. How would you address that to your wife. "Hey hunny decided to join the Marines today see ya in a year".
Zulu 36
03-07-09, 08:09 PM
I thought this was a pretty common sense question. I understand I am you and unexperienced but what if I was 25 married and wanted to join the Corps. How would you address that to your wife. "Hey hunny decided to join the Marines today see ya in a year".
That could be one way to do it. Maybe not the best, but it is one way.
brandnew161
03-07-09, 09:27 PM
Thought about this some more today while I was at work. Decided that if shes faithful it'll go well and it would be great obviously, however if something happens then **** it, thats life
LOL! This is what I call free entertainment on a Friday night!
ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!? Any of these guys will be more than HAPPY to take care of her while you're gone!
LOL! Hell yes. Where do you live?
It's your life. If she wants to make herself part of your life, she will follow. Otherwise, contact Achped for a copy of his little black book. I don't think he's using it at the moment. :D
If you would've contacted me sooner, he could've had it. I took possession of it from Joe who's covering my six back in Hawaii, now that Im coming home soon I need to get on the phone and start planting the "baby I cant wait to see your smiling face" seed...
marine3043
03-08-09, 01:24 AM
build your stable and just make her your number one horse, always have an up and comer that can take over as the top horse, I say have always 4 or 5 in the works and always be looking for new ones to add- --- make sure the women you meet work in industries that can give you discounts----hotels,,, car rentals,,, airlines,,
Covey_Rider
03-08-09, 01:55 AM
build your stable and just make her your number one horse, always have an up and comer that can take over as the top horse, I say have always 4 or 5 in the works and always be looking for new ones to add- --- make sure the women you meet work in industries that can give you discounts----hotels,,, car rentals,,, airlines,,
Very sound advice haha. I agree with everything. My ex whom I still converse with and spend time with while I'm home...her father owns a chain of hotels where I'm from and always has hookups. The girl that I'm currently pursuing...her father just got offered to run a brand new resort out in Colorado. Playin my cards...playin my cards...haha. Now I met this other girl Kara, nice girl from NY. She didn't say much but she knew Achped...hahaha I'm just joking man. Hope you got thick skin.
Now if you would've said a Kara from Florida...lol I have this video of myself and her having a good time....her friend Katie even has a guest appearance ;)
sparkie
03-08-09, 06:34 AM
Wanna convince her? Just look deep into her eye's and say the word 'Allotment'.
Makes em all warm inside.
commdog7
03-08-09, 06:46 AM
If I were you, I would just dump her. Pre-existing relationships do not last too long in the Marines; it would save you trouble in the long run. If you are serious about staying together, maybe she'll wait for you (but don't expect it). Expect to loose her, either the easy way or the hard way.
Oh, I heard somewhere that the Army lets recruits use cell phones in boot camp now, if you really want to stay together, maybe you should join the Army.
They last, if you make some sort of "You can sleep with whoever you want while I'm gone finding loads of Asian chicks in Hawaii just as long as we promise to stay together" deal...you know if the movie Jarhead didn't teach anyone about what females are like when Marines are deployed I don't think they'll ever learn.
Fubar5812
03-08-09, 09:25 AM
just tell her that the pride of having a Marine boyfriend is worth so much more than the hardships of being apart.thats what I told my girlfriend and it worked lol alot of letters at bootcamp and a couple shirts and stickers later we are still together and celebrating our 4 year anniversary this june. after bootcamp and MCT you get your cellphone and laptop or w/e so communication via webcam or AIM is alot easier and you can go home on 96 hr libos and take leave if you want too.you can fly her out to whereever you are too (though this gets expensive.)
Covey_Rider
03-08-09, 09:55 AM
I'll just share a personal story real quick...haha. I was in the same shoes as you are now. I was enlisting at 17 though and my girlfriend of the time was 17 as well. So I go into bootcamp with the mindset that nothing could go wrong. All my being gone was going to do was strengthen the relationship. So towards the end of boot camp I start to think like a realist, and decide to write to her asking if anything happened while I was gone. So she tells me that something did happen, and that she was tell me about it when she flew out for my graduation. Well she tells me that she made out with a guy and before I could try and guess who it was, her phone rings and my best friend Zach is on the other end...turns out it was him. She was saying that she was single as soon as I left. So I forgive her and ask if anything else had happened, all I wanted was honesty and I wanted to hear it from her and not from somebody else...well long story short, the day before I left for MCT I found out that she had dated another friend of mine right after I left, blew a different guy in the back of his truck, and had lied about some details between her and my friend Zach...So I went to the club where a bikini contest was going on...the girl that took 2nd place took me home and since then I have been winning the "who can cheat more" game since haha. It actually turned out to be a great night.
Just make a deal with her...she can do what she wants, just as long as you can as well...you two will never talk about it and when you come home there'd better be fresh sheets on the bed and the toilet seat put back down. Reality is a brick wall that we all hit...some harder then others. Just a word from the wise. Not saying I'm wise...but I've learned my lessons haha.
Covey_Rider
03-08-09, 10:03 AM
Now if you would've said a Kara from Florida...lol I have this video of myself and her having a good time....her friend Katie even has a guest appearance ;)
Maybe she moved???
we're bad....very bad...
sparkie
03-08-09, 10:09 AM
Ah,,, The good age of 17. I went to boot in '69 leaving a girl behind, and after ITR, while on leave I got engaged to her. To the best of my knowledge and belief she never cheated. My MOS school was a long one in San Diego and while there I met another, dated , and married, while still engaged. I know I was an azz, but that's what happened. Long, long story short, I'm still married after 38 yrs.
My advice to you,,,,,Shet Happens with Plans.
Gunner 0313
03-08-09, 10:16 AM
My advice to you,,,,,Shet Happens with Plans.
:flag: That's Absofu ckinlutely the truth. Or at least when it comes to my life. LOL
immaproshooter
03-08-09, 11:28 AM
2nd place?..cmon man...did u really settle for 2nd best?....
Hahaha, girls are ...well all females are that S word that I can't say in this forum.
brandnew161
03-08-09, 05:34 PM
I do appreciate all of the comments left on this thread. I was just thinking that "yahno maybe it will be the other way around and I.. will meet someone else. Who knows. I guess all i can do is hope for the best.
And actually PFC cwalling you covered this but i just wanted to be sure. After MCT when you get shipped to MOS training, is that when you can bring your own personal property from home, ie: laptop, cell phone, clothes for the weekend?
Marine1955
03-08-09, 05:48 PM
LOL! This is what I call free entertainment on a Friday night!
ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!? Any of these guys will be more than HAPPY to take care of her while you're gone!
you are to funny
Marine1955
03-08-09, 06:01 PM
I do appreciate all of the comments left on this thread. I was just thinking that "yahno maybe it will be the other way around and I.. will meet someone else. Who knows. I guess all i can do is hope for the best.
And actually PFC cwalling you covered this but i just wanted to be sure. After MCT when you get shipped to MOS training, is that when you can bring your own personal property from home, ie: laptop, cell phone, clothes for the weekend?
i can't say for everyone else,, but i would waite untill you got to your per. duty station and you have your on locker or room where you can lock it up better cause believe it or not there are still crooks around..P.S. if you go and she says she wants to date while your at boot camp and wants your permission. she may not have cheated but that don't mean she would or wouldn't.. you might want to call it off with her untill your sure what you want.
sparkie
03-08-09, 06:24 PM
My MOS school was a year long, so , guys had wives, cars, Motorbikes, shared apartments,,,,,,no laptops yet, no cell phones, no playstations,,,,,,,,,you get the picture. If your MOS school was a year, I'm sure things would be different. In life, all things vary.