thedrifter
02-04-09, 07:03 AM
dailypress.com
Wartime fallout at home
By HUGH LESSIG
247-7821
February 4, 2009
NEWPORT NEWS
Patti Correa does not know just when her son will deploy to Afghanistan with the 82nd Airborne Division, but she is coming to grips with the general idea.
"Less than 90 days, less than 90," she says, nodding. "Yes it will be. Less than 90 days."
She sits on the couch next to her husband, who knows a thing or two about long goodbyes. Ed Correa served 22 years in the Army, including a stint in Kuwait and Iraq, before retiring more than a year ago.
As America prepares to pivot in the war on terror — from Iraq to Afghanistan, from one president to another — that shift is keenly felt in the Correa home, close enough to Fort Eustis that the singing cadence of marching troops can be heard in the neighborhood.
Iraq turned Patti Correa into a war wife. Afghanistan will make her a war mother.
Her new focus comes at a time of unprecedented stress for military families. Facing extended and unpredictable deployments, statistics suggest that the home front is taking higher casualties in the war on terror.
Divorce rates increased last year in the Army and Marines, which provide most of the land force in the two wars. Just last week, the Army reported that the number of suicides among soldiers reached a 27-year high in 2008. That dovetailed with a new report from Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America that characterized the unfolding mental health crisis as a multibillion-dollar problem.
These are not issues in the Correa household, where Patti speaks with pride of her family's military service and punctuates e-mails with an occasional "Hooah!" But the principles that allow her family to stand firm do not come with rose-tinted glasses or simple patriotic slogans. They are grounded in hard truths that serve as a primer for military families in Hampton Roads and elsewhere that face an open-ended war on terror, an untested president and the menacing front of Afghanistan.
She did not articulate the following list in so many words, but they became plainly evident during a conversation in her living room.
Rule One: Don't expect that saying goodbye will get easier. It can get harder.
The prospect of sending her only child off to war is more difficult than bidding farewell to her husband when he deployed to the Middle East, and that is saying something.
"It is totally different," she said. "Your raise your child from an infant to an adult. By the time I met Ed he was already in the Army. It's easier to adjust to that lifestyle, what he was doing."
Spc. Kyle Correa is 21 years old. He and his mother are close, partly because Ed was away for some of Kyle's formative years.
As a child, Kyle dug waist-deep holes in the yard when he played with Army men. He dressed up in a uniform for Halloween because he wanted to be like dad.
"We protected him when he was young," Patti Correa said. "It's harder, dealing with the emotions of a mother and letting go."
Rule Two: Isolation and self-pity can be toxic. Don't stare at the walls.
"You have to get out," she said. "You have to talk to other wives. You have to get involved. If you find the right people, you can gain the support."
Correa has started a Hampton Roads chapter of Blue Star Families, a support group for military families founded during World War II. She says talking with others in the same situation is a better tonic that being fixated on the latest breathless dispatches from cable news.
Rule Three: Focus on the good things that the military has done for your family.
Correa says she has seen an impressive maturity in Kyle since he joined the Army. Those dividends will pay off when he comes home, whether he makes a career out of the Army or transitions to a civilian career.
"I admire him for what he's doing," she said. "And I'm thankful that he's following in his father's footsteps."
Kyle is headed for a different sort of challenge in Afghanistan. Vice President Joe Biden recently warned of increased casualties in Afghanistan and characterized the country as "a real mess." Defense Secretary Robert Gates told a Senate panel that it represents America's "greatest military challenge," and it is unlikely that the U.S. will effect a dramatic change in the regime. Virginia Sen. Jim Webb expressed the need for a clear U.S. strategy.
Correa's knowledge of the country, as with most regular people, is not quite as extensive.
"All I know about Afghanistan is that it's mountains, and below that there are flatlands and desert," she said. "You hear about the snipers in the mountains. I don't know if he's going to a base. I don't know if he's going to a hanger, or what type of environment he's going to be in. That's one of my biggest fears. There's threats everywhere, no matter where he is. I just can't picture where he's going to be."
That fear of the unknown will eventually subside, she said. Kyle will arrive where he's supposed to be. He'll be able to describe where he is. More troops bring more infrastructure, maybe a solid Internet connection, maybe even a webcam.
"Right now, that's what's so fearful, the not knowing," she said. "You hear the stories of the guys in the mountains and in the bunkers holes, stuff like that. These are things that go through my mind every day."
About Blue Star Families
Blue Star Families of Hampton Roads is a support organization of family and friends of those who have served, or are serving, in the military. It is a chapter of Blue Star Mothers of America.
History: Blue Star Mothers traces its origins to World War II, when moms volunteered in hospitals and sent care packages overseas, among other activities.
Contact: Chapter President Patti Correa or Vice President Sandra Wood at 757-639-9818 or e-mail bsma_hr@yahoo.com.
Donations: Tax-deductible contributions support this nonprofit group.
The Associated Press contributed to this story.
Ellie
Wartime fallout at home
By HUGH LESSIG
247-7821
February 4, 2009
NEWPORT NEWS
Patti Correa does not know just when her son will deploy to Afghanistan with the 82nd Airborne Division, but she is coming to grips with the general idea.
"Less than 90 days, less than 90," she says, nodding. "Yes it will be. Less than 90 days."
She sits on the couch next to her husband, who knows a thing or two about long goodbyes. Ed Correa served 22 years in the Army, including a stint in Kuwait and Iraq, before retiring more than a year ago.
As America prepares to pivot in the war on terror — from Iraq to Afghanistan, from one president to another — that shift is keenly felt in the Correa home, close enough to Fort Eustis that the singing cadence of marching troops can be heard in the neighborhood.
Iraq turned Patti Correa into a war wife. Afghanistan will make her a war mother.
Her new focus comes at a time of unprecedented stress for military families. Facing extended and unpredictable deployments, statistics suggest that the home front is taking higher casualties in the war on terror.
Divorce rates increased last year in the Army and Marines, which provide most of the land force in the two wars. Just last week, the Army reported that the number of suicides among soldiers reached a 27-year high in 2008. That dovetailed with a new report from Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America that characterized the unfolding mental health crisis as a multibillion-dollar problem.
These are not issues in the Correa household, where Patti speaks with pride of her family's military service and punctuates e-mails with an occasional "Hooah!" But the principles that allow her family to stand firm do not come with rose-tinted glasses or simple patriotic slogans. They are grounded in hard truths that serve as a primer for military families in Hampton Roads and elsewhere that face an open-ended war on terror, an untested president and the menacing front of Afghanistan.
She did not articulate the following list in so many words, but they became plainly evident during a conversation in her living room.
Rule One: Don't expect that saying goodbye will get easier. It can get harder.
The prospect of sending her only child off to war is more difficult than bidding farewell to her husband when he deployed to the Middle East, and that is saying something.
"It is totally different," she said. "Your raise your child from an infant to an adult. By the time I met Ed he was already in the Army. It's easier to adjust to that lifestyle, what he was doing."
Spc. Kyle Correa is 21 years old. He and his mother are close, partly because Ed was away for some of Kyle's formative years.
As a child, Kyle dug waist-deep holes in the yard when he played with Army men. He dressed up in a uniform for Halloween because he wanted to be like dad.
"We protected him when he was young," Patti Correa said. "It's harder, dealing with the emotions of a mother and letting go."
Rule Two: Isolation and self-pity can be toxic. Don't stare at the walls.
"You have to get out," she said. "You have to talk to other wives. You have to get involved. If you find the right people, you can gain the support."
Correa has started a Hampton Roads chapter of Blue Star Families, a support group for military families founded during World War II. She says talking with others in the same situation is a better tonic that being fixated on the latest breathless dispatches from cable news.
Rule Three: Focus on the good things that the military has done for your family.
Correa says she has seen an impressive maturity in Kyle since he joined the Army. Those dividends will pay off when he comes home, whether he makes a career out of the Army or transitions to a civilian career.
"I admire him for what he's doing," she said. "And I'm thankful that he's following in his father's footsteps."
Kyle is headed for a different sort of challenge in Afghanistan. Vice President Joe Biden recently warned of increased casualties in Afghanistan and characterized the country as "a real mess." Defense Secretary Robert Gates told a Senate panel that it represents America's "greatest military challenge," and it is unlikely that the U.S. will effect a dramatic change in the regime. Virginia Sen. Jim Webb expressed the need for a clear U.S. strategy.
Correa's knowledge of the country, as with most regular people, is not quite as extensive.
"All I know about Afghanistan is that it's mountains, and below that there are flatlands and desert," she said. "You hear about the snipers in the mountains. I don't know if he's going to a base. I don't know if he's going to a hanger, or what type of environment he's going to be in. That's one of my biggest fears. There's threats everywhere, no matter where he is. I just can't picture where he's going to be."
That fear of the unknown will eventually subside, she said. Kyle will arrive where he's supposed to be. He'll be able to describe where he is. More troops bring more infrastructure, maybe a solid Internet connection, maybe even a webcam.
"Right now, that's what's so fearful, the not knowing," she said. "You hear the stories of the guys in the mountains and in the bunkers holes, stuff like that. These are things that go through my mind every day."
About Blue Star Families
Blue Star Families of Hampton Roads is a support organization of family and friends of those who have served, or are serving, in the military. It is a chapter of Blue Star Mothers of America.
History: Blue Star Mothers traces its origins to World War II, when moms volunteered in hospitals and sent care packages overseas, among other activities.
Contact: Chapter President Patti Correa or Vice President Sandra Wood at 757-639-9818 or e-mail bsma_hr@yahoo.com.
Donations: Tax-deductible contributions support this nonprofit group.
The Associated Press contributed to this story.
Ellie