Need Help

[futuregrunt03]

I was just wondering are you allowed to get married in DEP and if you do what do you have to briing to MEPS?

[thedrifter]

I believe the only thing you need to show is your marriage license.

The advise I gave all 4 of my children, who range in the same age group as you....
Work on your goals in life....to set a future....enjoy living, before thinking of marriage....When the time is right....You will know....

The Drifter

[firstsgtmike]

If I dood it, I'll get a whipping. ................. I dood it!

You're about 50 years too young to remember that. And I should know better. Against my better judgement, I will offer my opinion.

Someone will be along to give you the practical and technical aspects that answer your question.

My opinion: WAIT!

You are preparing to go to MCRD. WAIT!

If one or both of you were leaving for college, I would say WAIT!

College, to a degree, and definitely MCRD will create a NEW person. If not, you've wasted your time and effort.

How would this "new person" relate to, view, or be viewed by their "one and only'?

Even if you went together, college or MCRD, you would grow and develope individually. Closer together? Farther apart? I don't know.

I do know that an away college or MCRD will result in a transformation. As far as a relationship goes, do you grow into it, or out of it? There is not a singular answer.

True, it may mean a few extra bucks while you are in bootcamp. But I'd rather get married in Marine Corps Dress Blues than a tuxedo, or even a cap and gown.

Bottom line? Why the rush, what's the hurry? If the relationship will not survive a three month separation then there are problems that a piece of paper will not solve.

I would urge you to wait, without promises or commitment. Don't rush home in time for the wedding ceremony. Come home, get to know each other again, and then decide where you go from there.

I was never in your situation. If I had been, would I have listened? Probably not.

Will you listen now? Probably not.

Then why did I write this? For me! I can sleep well tonight because I tried.

[jenrmurray]

I am in the DEP program and I got married... apparently I am supposed to go in and do some paperwork at some point- status change something or other. Just ask your recruiter. The paperwork I have to do might be a little different, though, since my last name changed and I doubt you are taking your girl's name. ;) No matter what, I would talk to your recruiter before doing it. They'll tell you to wait, too, but you at least want to make sure he knows what you're up to.

On the other side of the coin: My husband is a Marine. We knew we wanted to get married before he left, but there is so much that goes into planning a wedding that we didn't have the time, not to mention the money. His/our recruiter didn't give us a hard time about getting married because we're older and have been together a long time... but, and I hate to play the age card, if you are young, I would advocate waiting, too. You know boot camp will change you, but you don't know how yet. And you don't know how your feelings will change- or your fiancee's, for that matter.

Even though it sucked, being apart from my husband (then boyfriend) for three months (plus MCT, plus MOS school) made us more sure that we wanted to marry and it made our relationship stronger. It's a good 'test.' If your relationship can survive boot camp, you're in the minority. My husband said our relationship was one of the the only ones that still existed at the end of boot camp. All the other guys had girls who promised that they loved him and would write every day and etc. The break up letters started coming in that first week. I wrote him every single day and my feelings for him never waned or weakened, they just got stronger. It made getting married better. He proposed on the night of his graduation. :)

I know that I do not know you or your situation, but I hope that helped you in some way.

Besides all that, if you get married now, you won't be able to wear those beautiful Dress Blues (that, alone, is worth it)!

[btrogu]

Dont get married. Being a young private or pfc, the pay isn't really enough and being away that long will take it's toll on
both of you. You may get shipped overseas and she probally wont
be allowed to go with you. My wife's cousin is married to a Major
in the Marines who is also a pilot. They have two kids and have been married for 12 years. If you total up the number of days they have been together, it adds up to 7 years. He is always being deployed somewhere. They went to Japan in 2001, and he was sent out for 6 months. Be careful. I would wait.

[top1371]

You may need to get a dependent waiver. Talk to your recruiter. If you have any waivers now, it could cause you problems. Another factor is if you are a 'Alpha' or 'Bravo', meaning, did you score over a 50 on the test?

See your recruiter before you do it.

Top

[Devildogg4ever]

The advise I gave all 4 of my children, who range in the same age group as you....
Work on your goals in life....to set a future....enjoy living, before thinking of marriage....When the time is right....You will know....

Thats about as honest and simple as can be said!!
At the same time, the strongest answer to give! :)

[marinemom]

I'd say listen to firstsgtmike and jenrmurray - and as a Marine wife and mother, I totally agree with them.

On the practical side - no money coming in for the time in boot as you get paid at the end if you succeed. Privates pay rates are low, and they don't go up too much until you get to around E-4.

Your first deployment is where the Corps needs you - and it might be an "unaccompanied tour", which means you go alone. Or it might be somewhere where your wife is not able to get a job - money can kill a marriage.

As a mom, I say wait, get your career started. The Corps asks for 110% from you - learn how to give that and still have 110% left for your family first.