thedrifter
01-31-09, 07:29 AM
Pen pals reunite and the friendship grows after 40 years
By Linda Smith Hancharick
Published: January 29, 2009
Warwick—When Julie Taffin was just 9 years old and living in Miami, like most kids, her world centered around school, her family, and friends. But this was 1965 and there was a war raging in Vietnam. Her fifth grade teacher at Coral Way Elementary School asked that the children select a serviceman or woman from the area listed in the Miami Herald and write to them.
More than 40 years later, that pen pal relationship between the little girl and the young soldier has blossomed into a lifelong friendship that both treasure.
“There were lists of names,” said Julie Koehn, who now lives in Warwick with her husband, Frank. “I just chose his name—Sgt. J.R. Byron. I began to write to him and he wrote back.”
Julie and her twin Leslie, along with their friend, Allison Cauliflower, didn’t know much about Vietnam. Nor did they know any soldiers personally.
“The concept of war was foreign to me,” said Julie. “But this was how I, in my mind, could help an American.”
‘Gang of three’
Byron, who retired from the Marines after serving 21 years and still lives in Florida, was just 17 when he and two of his buddies decided to go into the service out of high school in 1956. It was more an economic decision to sign up, he said; he chose the Marines because the Army, Navy and Air Force recruiters were busy.
“We were just three uninformed teenagers falling victim to what started as a thoughtless fantasy that in actuality materialized into an invaluable experience, at least for me,” Byron said.
His first tour in Vietnam was in 1965, when he was 26. He served another in 1968. He began getting letters from strangers and later discovered that the Miami Herald asked their readers to write to servicemen.
“Most of the letters included photographs and one of those letters was from these three adorable nine-year-old girls,” said Byron. He affectionately started calling them the “gang of three.”
Julie, however, continued to write to Byron, telling him about her life.
“I was telling him about the things that a nine-year-old talks about—my dog, my teacher, candy. Nothing terribly personal but it was all very personal actually. We got to know each other through writing.”
Koehn recalls being thrilled when Byron wrote back to her. “Everyone in my family knew who J.R. Byron was,” Koehn said, even the neighbors.
‘You’re welcome here’
Byron said he doesn’t really remember what he wrote to Julie about, just that their letters were a welcomed distraction. “I’ve always wondered what I wrote to hold the interest of the ‘gang of three.’ I’m certain I didn’t relate to them any of the unsavory activities taking place in country, and not being a parent myself didn’t afford me the benefit of drawing on that experience, but whatever it was, much to my delight, they stayed with it, and of course, anything they wrote could only be considered entertainment and distraction for me.”
Koehn remembers that his letters were kind and thoughtful. He encouraged her to do well in school. And he never complained about being in Vietnam.
One day, a call came to Julie’s house. Her mom answered it and it was J.R. Byron home on leave from Vietnam. Byron wanted to talk to Julie’s parents and see if it would be okay to come by and actually meet in person the little girl who eventually would write more than 50 letters to this stranger.
“Jim called and wanted to meet me,” recalled Koehn. “But he said to my Mom ‘I want you to know that I’m a black American.’ Without hesitation my mom said, ‘You are welcome here.’”
That wasn’t always the case in 1965. Byron remembers letting one of his adult pen pals know that he was a person of color only to have her ask him to send back the photo she had sent earlier.
“I can remember when he came, my cheeks couldn’t be bigger,” Koehn said. “It was one of the best days of my life.”
Byron invited the Taffin family to his home as well. They visited with his family and Koehn remembers that one of his brothers was a magician.
As is often the case, the correspondence eventually stopped and they lost touch. Julie continued on with her life, getting married and having her daughter, expanding her education, becoming a special education teacher and moving to Warwick. Koehn eventually spent 16 years teaching in the Warwick district.
‘Googled’
Then Sept. 11, 2001 happened.
“America became patriotic again and it made me think of Jim,” said Koehn “I equated Americanism with Jim. We lost so many people right here in Warwick. I started wondering about my friend.”
She checked phone books and she Googled him. She contacted the Marines to find out how she could find a veteran. She sent them a letter to forward to him, if they could indeed find him.
They did. And it happened quickly.
“I would say that within months I heard from him,” said Koehn.
“Once I began reading the letter and saw the name ‘Taffin,’ I experienced a tremendous delightfulness and no doubt generating the grin that the Marines have a term for, but I still found it difficult to grasp that this could possibly be one of the ‘gang of three’ popping up on the scene after so many years,” said Byron. “Now for reasons I’m still unable to explain, I discontinued reading the letter at that point, dug out my photo albums and began looking for the photo that I knew I had of them. Reading the letter that resulted in a re-connection with a member of the ‘gang.’ The re-connection was a tremendous joy.”
And for Koehn. She learned that after retiring from the Marine Corps, Byron worked for the City of Miami and had since retired from there as well. She caught him up on her life.
A few months later, Koehn had the opportunity to go to Florida with her cousin. She and Byron decided to meet. They agreed on a date and place and for the first time in nearly 40 years, the two unlikely pen pals met face-to-face in 2002.
“We talked about everything—politics, the Marines, our memories,” she said. “We talked for four hours! He is a great storyteller and a gentleman.”
Byron was a bit nervous waiting for Koehn at the Adventura Mall. He worried that he wouldn’t recognize her. But his fears diminished as soon as he saw her.
“As soon as I spotted her I was pretty sure, but the identification became absolute as she faced me and I saw the smile,” recalled Jim.
The two met again in South Carolina last October, this time with Koehn’s husband and Byron’s friends. And they correspond via e-mail at least once each week.
“He is my friend and I value his opinion,” said Koehn. “He cares about me and I love him. Although we are adults, I look to him as my elder and I respect him. I will know him until the day one of us dies.”
Ellie
By Linda Smith Hancharick
Published: January 29, 2009
Warwick—When Julie Taffin was just 9 years old and living in Miami, like most kids, her world centered around school, her family, and friends. But this was 1965 and there was a war raging in Vietnam. Her fifth grade teacher at Coral Way Elementary School asked that the children select a serviceman or woman from the area listed in the Miami Herald and write to them.
More than 40 years later, that pen pal relationship between the little girl and the young soldier has blossomed into a lifelong friendship that both treasure.
“There were lists of names,” said Julie Koehn, who now lives in Warwick with her husband, Frank. “I just chose his name—Sgt. J.R. Byron. I began to write to him and he wrote back.”
Julie and her twin Leslie, along with their friend, Allison Cauliflower, didn’t know much about Vietnam. Nor did they know any soldiers personally.
“The concept of war was foreign to me,” said Julie. “But this was how I, in my mind, could help an American.”
‘Gang of three’
Byron, who retired from the Marines after serving 21 years and still lives in Florida, was just 17 when he and two of his buddies decided to go into the service out of high school in 1956. It was more an economic decision to sign up, he said; he chose the Marines because the Army, Navy and Air Force recruiters were busy.
“We were just three uninformed teenagers falling victim to what started as a thoughtless fantasy that in actuality materialized into an invaluable experience, at least for me,” Byron said.
His first tour in Vietnam was in 1965, when he was 26. He served another in 1968. He began getting letters from strangers and later discovered that the Miami Herald asked their readers to write to servicemen.
“Most of the letters included photographs and one of those letters was from these three adorable nine-year-old girls,” said Byron. He affectionately started calling them the “gang of three.”
Julie, however, continued to write to Byron, telling him about her life.
“I was telling him about the things that a nine-year-old talks about—my dog, my teacher, candy. Nothing terribly personal but it was all very personal actually. We got to know each other through writing.”
Koehn recalls being thrilled when Byron wrote back to her. “Everyone in my family knew who J.R. Byron was,” Koehn said, even the neighbors.
‘You’re welcome here’
Byron said he doesn’t really remember what he wrote to Julie about, just that their letters were a welcomed distraction. “I’ve always wondered what I wrote to hold the interest of the ‘gang of three.’ I’m certain I didn’t relate to them any of the unsavory activities taking place in country, and not being a parent myself didn’t afford me the benefit of drawing on that experience, but whatever it was, much to my delight, they stayed with it, and of course, anything they wrote could only be considered entertainment and distraction for me.”
Koehn remembers that his letters were kind and thoughtful. He encouraged her to do well in school. And he never complained about being in Vietnam.
One day, a call came to Julie’s house. Her mom answered it and it was J.R. Byron home on leave from Vietnam. Byron wanted to talk to Julie’s parents and see if it would be okay to come by and actually meet in person the little girl who eventually would write more than 50 letters to this stranger.
“Jim called and wanted to meet me,” recalled Koehn. “But he said to my Mom ‘I want you to know that I’m a black American.’ Without hesitation my mom said, ‘You are welcome here.’”
That wasn’t always the case in 1965. Byron remembers letting one of his adult pen pals know that he was a person of color only to have her ask him to send back the photo she had sent earlier.
“I can remember when he came, my cheeks couldn’t be bigger,” Koehn said. “It was one of the best days of my life.”
Byron invited the Taffin family to his home as well. They visited with his family and Koehn remembers that one of his brothers was a magician.
As is often the case, the correspondence eventually stopped and they lost touch. Julie continued on with her life, getting married and having her daughter, expanding her education, becoming a special education teacher and moving to Warwick. Koehn eventually spent 16 years teaching in the Warwick district.
‘Googled’
Then Sept. 11, 2001 happened.
“America became patriotic again and it made me think of Jim,” said Koehn “I equated Americanism with Jim. We lost so many people right here in Warwick. I started wondering about my friend.”
She checked phone books and she Googled him. She contacted the Marines to find out how she could find a veteran. She sent them a letter to forward to him, if they could indeed find him.
They did. And it happened quickly.
“I would say that within months I heard from him,” said Koehn.
“Once I began reading the letter and saw the name ‘Taffin,’ I experienced a tremendous delightfulness and no doubt generating the grin that the Marines have a term for, but I still found it difficult to grasp that this could possibly be one of the ‘gang of three’ popping up on the scene after so many years,” said Byron. “Now for reasons I’m still unable to explain, I discontinued reading the letter at that point, dug out my photo albums and began looking for the photo that I knew I had of them. Reading the letter that resulted in a re-connection with a member of the ‘gang.’ The re-connection was a tremendous joy.”
And for Koehn. She learned that after retiring from the Marine Corps, Byron worked for the City of Miami and had since retired from there as well. She caught him up on her life.
A few months later, Koehn had the opportunity to go to Florida with her cousin. She and Byron decided to meet. They agreed on a date and place and for the first time in nearly 40 years, the two unlikely pen pals met face-to-face in 2002.
“We talked about everything—politics, the Marines, our memories,” she said. “We talked for four hours! He is a great storyteller and a gentleman.”
Byron was a bit nervous waiting for Koehn at the Adventura Mall. He worried that he wouldn’t recognize her. But his fears diminished as soon as he saw her.
“As soon as I spotted her I was pretty sure, but the identification became absolute as she faced me and I saw the smile,” recalled Jim.
The two met again in South Carolina last October, this time with Koehn’s husband and Byron’s friends. And they correspond via e-mail at least once each week.
“He is my friend and I value his opinion,” said Koehn. “He cares about me and I love him. Although we are adults, I look to him as my elder and I respect him. I will know him until the day one of us dies.”
Ellie