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Artemis
01-29-09, 08:26 AM
Does anyone have any good cuss word alternatives? My oldest son is starting to pick up on my so I am looking for new ones.

NoRemorse
01-29-09, 08:28 AM
I see this thread getting lively, CPL. Which ones are you using?

BR34
01-29-09, 08:43 AM
I'm lucky enough that my oldest ( 6 ) has never even thought about cussing ( around me at least ). But if he did I'd make him build a bridge till he forgot all them words ( barney style: build a bridge = planks ).

On the flip side, I'm in the hospital right now, just had another baby boy yesterday, so maybe I should worry about him potentially having this problem...

NoRemorse
01-29-09, 08:45 AM
I'm lucky enough that my oldest ( 6 ) has never even thought about cussing ( around me at least ). But if he did I'd make him build a bridge till he forgot all them words ( barney style: build a bridge = planks ).

On the flip side, I'm in the hospital right now, just had another baby boy yesterday, so maybe I should worry about him potentially having this problem...

My wife's complaining that our little boy is currently learning every last friggen cuss word on the stinking planet while in the womb.

Congratulations on your little one! God Bless and Semper Fi!

Ed Palmer
01-29-09, 08:48 AM
I googled this
Oh my fat monkey"
"Sugar biscuits!"
"Cheese puff!"
"Kitty biscuits!"
"Apple bottom jeans!"
"Snot nose licker, we're gonna die"
"Ice crystals!"
"Boom box, I'm dead."
"Kitten whisker! NOOO!"
"I'd like to stress how bull cookie this is."
"Baby spit up!"
"Sugar Crystals!"
"Son of a biscuit!"
"Oh my fly swatter!"
"Mother of a walrus, they're everywhere!"
"son of a tree horse"
"son of a raccoon"
"baby doll"
"I'm gonna swallow you like a dinosaur"
"son of a seahorse, what the heck?"
"son of a biscuit on a saturday afternoon!"
"I have boots and I have fur""
"Shizzle rat"
"Mother of a pumpkin"


So far I'm using:
God Bless America
Shut The Front Door
Son of a Mother Trucker
Fudge Berries
Fark
Frikking
Fragdaggle
Snit
Dargondable
Urgh
Argh
Urgalurga
Fockdock
Great God In The Foothills
Jumped Up Jeebies
Blangdang
Snagglefraggle
Geez Terwilligers
Gul Durnit
Dag Nabit
Mothersmucker
Fiddlesniddle

NoRemorse
01-29-09, 09:04 AM
Jibberjabber
Hornswaggle
Sweet Merciful Baby Jesus!
Oh My Golly Gee Whiz!
Ooooooooh buttersquash
Butternuts!
Cornnuts!
Nachos and Cheese!
bricka-bracka-razza-frazzin
Oh poo on a stick.
Your face!
Your mother's face!
Your mother makes flat bacon! (Long story)
Cause you're a stinkin kook!
Daggone baby spittle!
And the horse you rode in on!

Artemis
01-29-09, 09:58 AM
Well let see the most common ones I use.
mofracky
dang nabit
mother fluffy pants
friggin hockey sticks

problem is he has started to repeat them at school and even though they are not bad his teacher still knows what the point behind them are so I got talked to about it.

Artemis
01-29-09, 10:00 AM
Your mother makes flat bacon! (Long story)



I got time lets here the story.

NoRemorse
01-29-09, 10:11 AM
Your mother makes flat bacon! (Long story)



I got time lets here the story.

Frak!

The wife and I have a running joke involving "your mother" ie, "I'm going to the store." "Your mother's going to the store." This of course is said in a snotty, little voice.

This stems from a running joke my brother and a friend have involving "your face". This was all brought about by us having terrible, malevolent senses of humor. Another far longer story.

I was planning to put some burgers on the griddle for dinner one day. The wife says she wants bacon cheese burgers cause we wanted to be nasty that day. I had it in my head to use another griddle wrapped in foil as a bacon press and did so.

She was like, WTF are you doing? I said I was making flat bacon. She said "Who cares? We're not a restaurant."

I asked what the problem was with my making flat bacon. The exhaust fan was in my ear and her response of "Who makes flat bacon?" turned into "Your mother makes flat bacon."

I went ballistic and she had the giggles when I explained to her why I just gave her the evil death stare. Then we laughed because we're terrible people and our unborn son is going to be the devil himself apparently.

That's what you get for having enough time to hear the story. :banana:

yellowwing
01-29-09, 10:25 AM
If he's going go to cuss, encourage him to learn them in German or French. Maybe he'll end up liking other languages.

Your mother swears in German! :banana:

NoRemorse
01-29-09, 10:26 AM
If he's going go to cuss, encourage him to learn them in German or French. Maybe he'll end up liking other languages.

Your mother swears in German! :banana:
Frak! Have to replace my company keyboard now!

mcvet57103
01-29-09, 10:31 AM
freakin A
frikkin A
fuzzbottom
fuzznuts!!!
fudge
yuck fou
chuck you farley
aw sheet
rum dummy
shoz bot
doody head
heck yeah
frik it
aw..... duck water

Catalyst66
01-29-09, 11:36 AM
So in my baseball program we use words that are similar, but don't sound completely ridiculous...

instead of the f-word, fetchin...( what the fetch? are you fetchin me?)
" " s-word, shippin...( ship!! are you fetchin shippin me? you piece of ship.)
instead of the b-word, beach...( beach!! you son of a beach!)

or we just don't finish the word...( Mother fuhhh!)

feel free to mix it up though...like ( son of a ship! what the beach?!?)

hope this helps...:D

Zulu 36
01-29-09, 12:22 PM
Good luck. They learn all the real ones anyway.

My 16-year daughter swears like a Marine, but my 10-year old son I have never heard swear (except to quote his sister when he's ratting her out). So I know he knows them.

My 24-year old daughter can swear all she wants to now.

Oh, and as their mother is Cuban, they all know how to swear in Spanish too.

But, I've got the drop on them in a few words in Japanese and Vietnamese.

FistFu68
01-29-09, 12:23 PM
:evilgrin: SNATCHURLY :p :banana:

0231Marine
01-29-09, 12:24 PM
That's what she said
Son of a bee sting
By the beard of Zeus
Great Oden's Raven
Fiddle Stix
Cinnamon and Applesauce

I can quote Will Ferrell all day!!!

Other ones I use pretty regularly are...
Mother Trucker!
Burn!
Face!
Shnikes!
Oh Snap!
Daaaaaang!

Ed Palmer
01-29-09, 12:43 PM
Futher Mucker

FemaleDevilDawg
01-29-09, 02:41 PM
ha ha ha... too funny! I have a 6 year old and she has repeated a couple things that I have said unfortunatly. That is what she gets for havin a Marine for a mom I guess. Bad thing is I still can't lose the potty mouth specially when I get ****ed... OOPPS! I try... But even usin other words doesn't work for me cause it just makes me even more ****ed off cause I can't say what I really want to say... DAMNIT!

Twitchell
01-29-09, 02:54 PM
Oh boy... LOL

Mother Father
Son of a Twitch

FemaleDevilDawg
01-29-09, 03:17 PM
Yeah it can be pretty bad at times... :)

Gunner 0313
01-29-09, 03:26 PM
:flag:I'm pretty good at home, but when we get in the truck and go FU CKIN forget about it ! LMFAO. I'm sure that the nuns will be calling me about my daughter's language. FU CK IT ! LOL

Sgt Jim
01-29-09, 05:30 PM
Darn,shucks,beejebbers,pollydonks,nutbusters.that not much but i have a limited vocabulary

Ed Palmer
01-30-09, 05:24 PM
Years ago when I sometimes used unsavory language, I often used the expression "Bull Sh**." As I grew up a bit and discovered it was not necessary to use such crude language, that expression became "BS."
Q. What did I really mean when I used those expressions?
A. I meant that something was ridiculous, or idiotic or a half truth or just stupid. It covered any number or negative formats. The dictionary defines it as: nonsense; especially : foolish insolent talk...
I have decided that I no longer will use either of those expressions in the future. When I have a need to express such feelings, I will use the word "Pelosi."
Let me use it in a sentence. "That's just a bunch of Pelosi."
I encourage you to do the same. It is such a good word. It really packs a lot of punch. We are no longer being vulgar. But it clearly expresses our feelings. If enough of us use it, perhaps the word could be entered into the dictionary. What an excellent legacy for the Speaker of the House!
PASS IT ON TO AT LEAST 10,000,000 PEOPLE

Artemis
01-30-09, 05:37 PM
Ah ha ha ha that is awesome SSgt. I am gonna start using that one now.

Zebra29er
01-30-09, 06:46 PM
WTF = Whisky Tango Foxtrot Over :D

candi
01-30-09, 07:12 PM
Well...you could say 'feck' like the Irish
lol

Zebra29er
01-31-09, 01:36 PM
How about my favorite __ DILLIGAF = Do I look Like I Give A F&*K

Sgt Leprechaun
02-01-09, 01:16 AM
LOL. Good thread.

The rule in my house is/was:

You may use curse words at the appropriate time, HOWEVER, you must give me the textbook definition of the word when asked. If you cannot, you cannot use the word. (That's also the general rule of the house for other 'big' werds as well). It has worked well for me thru two teenagers and two little kids. If you take the 'holy frak what did he say' factor out of the word, it loses some of it's power, IMO. Over time, it turns out that they don't feel the need to use most of the words.

Now, the wife and I both "fill the air with oaths, the likes of which are still floating around somewhere" on a regular basis. That having been said, neither of us curse around my parents. The kids know NOT to curse around the grandparents.

BUT, here are my favorite 'non cuss' words:

FRAK! (I'm a Battlestar Fan and love that word)
Motherfrakker
Jeebus!
Cripes in a sidecar
Great jumpin horny toads!
Sweet mother mary!
You freakin worthless pile of crap!!!

redman1
02-01-09, 04:49 AM
No cruse words are the best. Everyone knows what abbreviations means sooner or later no matter what age.
Someone once said that curse words are a sign of ignorance.
Its mostly a bad habit and I don't unless really provoked then stand by but most of the time my kids are not in that situation.
If they ever did see me use cruse words it was a situation that couldn't be helped and needed to be said. Say standing up for yourself and not backing down.
I always tried to be a good example but I'm human and **** happens.
Think about it if your tough and a real Marine the way you carry yourself and even look at someone tells the story.
Nobody usually messes with me.
Usually when I cussed it just joining in and being one of the Marines. After all we have a image to live up to.
Hope you get what I mean, sometimes its hard to put into words what you think.
S---,Mo----F-----G---Y--S--O-A-B----Well What Can I Say, I Didn't Want To Disappoint None Of You
Carry On Marine, Semper Fi Redman1
P.S. What Sgt Leprechaun posted said it all

jrhd97
02-01-09, 07:12 AM
Dagnabit
Shuckydarn
Sheesnazzle
Geegooglymoogly
Most of the time I just make something up, sounds like jiberish but the kids get the meaning. My son picked up some interesting words from watching me work on the truck. Had to break the habit quick.

PaidinBlood
02-01-09, 09:51 AM
Bob Saget!

Seriously, though, you're just dodging the issue. A little ass whoopin now would be a wise investment. In the end, you can't prevent certain things, just keep them out of your house. Depending on the personality, you can try logic in addition. My mom told me profanity showed just how small a man's vocabulary was, but that only lasted me to the second grade. Go figure. :tank:

mgkusmc
02-02-09, 12:50 AM
What the hell are "Apple Bottom Jeans"

jetdawgg
02-02-09, 09:42 AM
What the hell are "Apple Bottom Jeans"


http://www.denimblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/apple-bottom-jeans.jpghttp://jeans.50megs.com/images/apple-bottom-jeans.jpg

Marine1955
02-03-09, 10:57 AM
i See As Always We Have Some Realy Smart People Around Here. I'm Going To Try To Learn Some Of These. Next Time I See Ed I Will Say ,,How The Frack You Doing You Old Repper-bait!!! Hahahaha. One More To Add

( son Of A Biscut Eater )