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thedrifter
06-15-03, 01:46 PM
This Father's Day different for some Vietnam vets
By TERRY CORCORAN
THE JOURNAL NEWS
(Original publication: June 15, 2003)

Paul Piazza imagines the time will come when his son, Marine Sgt. Christopher Piazza, will want to talk about his experiences in Iraq.

But the Air Force veteran who saw action in Vietnam, a war that scarred a generation and bitterly divided the United States, said he won't push his son to talk.

"I think it's going to be at his prompt as to whether we sit down and speak about it," said Piazza, 52, a Patterson resident. "I've got to give him the space to deal with it, but at the same time, I've got be here for him."

Piazza said his combat experience in Vietnam gave him a newfound respect for his own father, a World War II veteran, and he hopes that his son, still in Iraq, gains a similar respect for him.

Father's Day 2003 brings a new perspective for Vietnam veterans with sons and daughters serving in Iraq. They know that their children have seen the horrors of war and that it may change them forever. But they also hope that their own war experiences will help them understand what their children have been through and that it will bring them closer.

"The newer veteran now understands what dad went through. I didn't know exactly what my father went through in World War II but, after Vietnam, I felt different about him. I understood him better," said Carroll Williams, director of training and operations at the American Legion's national headquarters in Washington and a Vietnam veteran. "War is war, no matter where it is. People get killed, people die, people suffer — and soldiers who have experienced that share a common bond."

"I think it opens up a whole new arena of shared experiences because it's something you don't necessarily talk about," said Mahopac resident Dennis DiRaffaele, who served in the Army in Vietnam and whose son, Staff Sgt. Matthew DiRaffaele, is with the Marines in Iraq.

"One tends to be more subdued in light of real combat experience and real combat situations. It's not like in the movies," said DiRaffaele, 60. "When my son comes back, it will be something we will be able to share, without words if necessary. If you've been through it, you don't have to explain it."

Former Marine Dwight Keith of Carmel, whose son, Navy Petty Officer Timothy Keith, is aboard the USS Tarawa in the Middle East, agrees they may never discuss their war experiences.

"It will be very much like members of the VFW," said Keith, a Vietnam veteran. "Many never speak about what's gone on, but everyone understands it."

Bill Butera of Stony Point, a retired lawyer and Vietnam veteran, said that having a son serving in Iraq has given him a new perspective on what his parents experienced in 1969 when he was at war. Butera's son, Craig Butera, 26, is an infantry officer with the Army's 101st Airborne Division.

"I had no idea what my parents went through that year," Butera said. "Now I understand how horrible it was for them."

Butera, 57, said his experiences in Vietnam changed his view of the United States.

"After you live somewhere where a rocket can hit your hooch, or a mine can blow you up at any second, you learn how wonderful this country is," he said.

In letters from Iraq, his son, a 1999 graduate of the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, wrote that he was reaching the same conclusion.

"He said his service makes him understand even more what a wonderful country he will come back to," Butera said.

Marine Lance Cpl. Christopher Neff of Kent said in an e-mail from Iraq last week that, during the war, he thought often of his father, John Neff, a Vietnam-era Navy veteran.

"He has taken care of me throughout my life," Neff wrote to The Journal News. "I felt my service in the war was kind of payback, if you will."

Neff, 19, said he saw "visions that only other men of conflict can comprehend. I saw men, women and children taken as quickly as a bullet flies. It didn't really affect me, though I no longer take simple things for granted."

Sgt. 1st Class Michael J. Wag-ner of the Army Reserves said he tried to steer his son, Army Pvt. Michael E. Wagner, away from the military. Sgt. Wagner, a veteran of the Vietnam and Persian Gulf wars, has been serving stateside with the Reserves since July 2002. His son, a 2001 graduate of Carmel High School, is in Iraq with the 3rd Infantry Division.

"I tried to get him to go to college, but he wanted to go into the Army. I tried to sit him down and explain the hazards, but he didn't care. He made up his mind and, God love him, he accomplished it," Wagner, 53, said by telephone from Georgia, where he is stationed.

Wagner said he looked forward to talking to his oldest son about the war experience.

"Once I start talking about things that I've seen, I think he'll let the doors open and, whatever he feels he needs to talk about, I'll be there to listen," he said.

While Vietnam veterans understand that, ultimately, their combat experiences won't differ much from what their children saw in Iraq, they trust that the welcome home their children receive will be better than what they got some 30 years ago.

"I had to fly from San Francisco, Travis Air Force Base, to JFK (airport), but to get the military discount, I had to wear my uniform. I can't describe the look of scorn I got from people," said Yonkers resident Harvey Goldberg, who served in the Air Force in Vietnam and whose son, Marine Sgt. David Goldberg, recently returned from Iraq.

Williams, the American Legion official, recalled that when he came back from Vietnam in 1969 and landed in San Francisco, he and other Marines ducked into a men's room and took off their uniforms to avoid being berated and even spat on by people opposed to the war.

"I was so concerned that I told my friend not to tell anyone that I served in Vietnam," he said.

Today, Vietnam veteran fathers said they were confident their sons and daughters will be welcomed as heroes.

"I think that, today, our generation — the baby boomers — support what our children are doing and support our military, unlike 30 years ago," said Goldberg, whose son was welcomed home to Yonkers earlier this month by Gov. George E. Pataki.

"Hopefully, there will be a parade at some point for these guys," Sgt. Wagner said. "I think the message has gotten across that you need to support the troops, no matter what political arena you are from. These are just kids trying to do a job, and most of them, I think, have done it well."


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Sempers,

Roger