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mrod32
12-11-08, 12:30 AM
I UNDERSTAND THIS IS A RATHER LONG POST BUT I REALLY NEED HELP ON THIS MATTER, AND EVERY POST WOULD BE REALLY APPRECIATED.


I honestly do not know where to begin this thread. Lately I have had a really important question on my mind and I think it is time to get it off my chest and ask some people who may be able to offer some advice. And I believe this is the best place to do just that. Ok this is a matter concerning the the big M word, Marriage. First I will give you guys and gals a little backround information. It all started more than three years ago when I met the girl I always wished would come into my life. It may sound corny but I swear it was love at first sight, I can remember the first time we locked eyes and how my heart just stopped, I just knew this was the one. Well this girl and I have been together ever since. Now I want you to know that this is not some fairy tale relationship where there are no problems or flaws. Trust me we have had lots of fights but never about the same thing, we have learned over time how to talk about our problems and over come them. We are very interdependent, we are a team that over comes obstacles together, I love this girl with ever inch of my body and I just really love our partnership together. Ok fast foward through the sappy stuff. I know this is the girl I wanna spend the rest of my life with, but I am unsure if we are ready for the commitment of the M word. I mean it is not the idea of me or her wanting another mate or any thing like that. I have left her for a year already while I went to college and trust me I did my share of partying there, but my love for her never lessened the time and distance just made me appreciate her even more. Ok fast foward some more the big thing is we are both unsure if at young age (20), and at a time where she is the process of obtaining a degree and making a way for herself if we are ready to be married. Now the plan was to always wait until she was on her own to feet before we took the dive. But she lives in a household with her mother and 3 other siblings, and the way she is treated and belittled by her mother is at the least very unhealty, depressing and detrimental to her self worth and being, and blossoming into an adult. Her mother takes out her problems with her husband ( he left her for another woman) on her on a regular basis. It is very sad to witness this. So knowing how much I love her and how I want to spend my life with her I am questioning if we should get Married so when I get out boot camp, and Mos school she could come live with me. Now I understand it is very likely that we will be seperated fo long periods of time. That is no issue. My main issue is that I want to get her out of the environment for which she has to endure everyday. This would be the only option in the near future for to be able to get out. Although it will not be for 6 mos. to a 1 yr., it will be the fastest way. I am willing to sacrifice extra money, hanging out with the fellas, all of it just to see her happy. I do not want to do this simply because I feel pity for her, which I do, I just know that this is the girl for me so I do not want to waste time when I am in a position to help. Now am not taking advantage of the USMC just to get married, trust me I have wanted to do this my entire life, I gave up my baseball scholarship and all , something which was vey hard to do because I have played my whole life, and I always wanted to pursue for as long as I could play. I just did not wanna sit around playing ball living care free while I witnessed so many people making sacrifices and giving back to their country. I did not wanna be around individuals who did not care about their country or were just unmotivated. So I walked into a recruiters office one day and said how soon can you ship me to boot camp. The rest is yet to be written. Now this is a very difficult predicament I'm and very impotant decision I must make. Should I tie the knot or what. All the advice and input on my situation would be greatly appreciated and helpful. And I know no better place to ask then on this website full Marines, no one else could possibly help me better than you guys and gals.

rossmuten
12-11-08, 12:47 AM
Plenty of young Marines are married and in the service. It's doable never tried it myself but theres resources there for married couples.

Enigmatic
12-11-08, 12:55 AM
Maybe it's cause I just drank a chitload of beer and am in a sappy mood...maybe it's cause I was 20 myself when I got married....maybe it's cause I knew some girls growing up in similar predicaments, including my wife...but no chit this post got to me. PM me sometime dude....we'll talk....now I gots to go de-toxify mysself....oh just wish youda posted this in poolee hall or ask-a-Marine...but whatever...

hrscowboy
12-11-08, 05:29 AM
Nope dont marry her until you finish bootcamp and MOS school then you will know if you can really support her.. I know you dont want to hear that but thats what i would have done if i had been in your shoes..

Big Jim
12-11-08, 06:04 AM
I knew alot of young Marines who went into bootcamp who were married. You have to remember though, your first enlistment or few years even might be spent deployed away from her. I can appreciate you wanting to get her out of her situation but are you taking her out of an unwanted situation and putting her into a worse one with you possibly being deployed for a long time?? Are you guys ready for that separation? Thats hard on people and marriages in the Marine Corps. Think hard abou this, its definitely a big step. Go slow and think it all through and make the right decision. Good luck...