Roberto T. Cast
06-02-03, 10:22 AM
Hope you all like this jokes.
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate
to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended
her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat
and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said,
Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for
her family. She asked a stock boy,"Do these turkeys
get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No
ma'am, they're dead."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was
stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. "I've
been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he
sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he
knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop walks around
to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips
and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says,
No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with
one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop
pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir.
You're obviously drunk". The wasted wino
asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left
his car parked and walked home. As he was walking
unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What
are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer.
I'm going to a lecture." The man said. "And
who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop
asked. "My wife," said the man.
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate
to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended
her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat
and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said,
Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for
her family. She asked a stock boy,"Do these turkeys
get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No
ma'am, they're dead."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was
stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. "I've
been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he
sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he
knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop walks around
to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips
and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says,
No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with
one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop
pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir.
You're obviously drunk". The wasted wino
asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left
his car parked and walked home. As he was walking
unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What
are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer.
I'm going to a lecture." The man said. "And
who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop
asked. "My wife," said the man.