View Full Version : I don't know what to do?
jgorosco
10-09-08, 07:45 AM
I am sitting here typing and I really don't know how to feel. My wife and her family are having a crisis. My wife's cousin which I looked after like a little brother just got back from doing two tours in Iraq(Army). I actually started a thread about him awhile back. Well I said he was going down the wrong path and I had several talks with him and now he has put himself in a hurt locker like no other. This past Saturday Oct 4..he decided to drink and drive; he ended up killing two infants, 9 months and 18 months old. I love this kid but he has done something terrible. I can't judge him for his actions of driving drunk because I have done the samething but just got lucky. I am angry and I am sad at the same time. This kid just started to get his life together. As the days go by I thought he told me everything that happened to him over there. But now I see that he hasn't and he was holding back alot of pain inside and it kills me that he couldn't tell me so we could get him help.
I really don't know why I am typing this because I know I am gonna get feed back that I don't think I can handle right now...I just want everyone to say a prayer for the family of the children and for my family as well for those that believe in God(jetdoc) I still have some humor. I also got mad when I would hear stories like this but I am living it now and it isn't something I would wish upon my worst enemy.
Thanks for listening or reading this. Please know that I am just lost right now! God Bless
yellowwing
10-09-08, 07:48 AM
Prayers on the way. Be there for your wife. You can't make decisions or be accountable for her Brother. Be a husband. Be a good one. :thumbup:
I'm with YellowWing on this one. Be there for your Wife and family.
Prayers out to you, your Wife, family, and the family of the victims....
Gunz out ~
thedrifter
10-09-08, 08:14 AM
Prayers Outbound!
Ellie
Chumley
10-09-08, 08:15 AM
What a tough story!! Sometimes with situations like these, all we can do is be supportive, as you have been / are being, and LEARN from it. Thanks for sharing. You may think that you can't do anything, but by sharing this story with us, you are passing on that old lesson that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. We are all accountable, always, and we must each try our best not to make the mistakes that others have made. You might not be able to help him this time, but it's another reminder for all who read this. You ARE making a difference here, just not what you might have hoped for.
Good luck to you and your family!!
SFi
C
Prayers for you and the family. Your wife needs your support more now than most anytime in the past.
jgorosco
10-09-08, 08:22 AM
Thanks to all... I just can't seem to stop tearing up and I know I can't change the past but there are those damn "what ifs" I was gonna call him that night to tell him I was gonna grill some steaks to come hang out with me and the wife but right when I was about to press 'send' on the cell I almost rear ended someone so I set the phone down and didn't call. I thought my cousin was gonna make it out of the hards times. Just please everyone take this and know tthat it doesn't always happen to someone else.
Again thanks for all the support
Chumley
10-09-08, 08:28 AM
Thanks to all... I just can't seem to stop tearing up and I know I can't change the past but there are those damn "what ifs" I was gonna call him that night to tell him I was gonna grill some steaks to come hang out with me and the wife but right when I was about to press 'send' on the cell I almost rear ended someone so I set the phone down and didn't call. I thought my cousin was gonna make it out of the hards times. Just please everyone take this and know tthat it doesn't always happen to someone else.
Again thanks for all the support
It's not your fault. Nope. Not even a little.
SFi
C
Jason, You can " what if " yourself right into the grave. Nothing is remotely your fault. He is a grown man with the ability to make his own decisions. He happened to make a really bad one and now has to pay a very high price. It's nothing many of us haven't done, just most of us got lucky and made it home with out incident. He is gonna have to pay the piper, NOT YOU!
I know it has had a very bad impact on your family. One I do not envy, but am familiar with. He needs you to continue to be his friend now more than ever. Your wife needs you to continue to be her strength and the leader in your home. Lead them through this brother. Hold him accountable, but don't kick him to the curb.
Watch your PM.
SF!
darkgreen0311
10-09-08, 11:06 AM
Bro sorry to hear that, just keep your head up, and be there for your family.
:marine:SEMPER FI 4 LIFE
jinelson
10-09-08, 11:21 AM
Jason this to shall pass but it will be very painful to many for a long time. My prayers are out brother and we have your six here.
Jim
jgorosco
10-09-08, 11:33 AM
Thanks again for the support. I can't stop my eyes from leaking today...Again thanks for the support
FistFu68
10-09-08, 12:01 PM
:usmc: TELL THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE,THAT YOU LOVE THEM AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN.BECAUSE A LIFE CAN BE SNUFFED OUT IN A HEARTBEAT,I'M GONNA PRAY FOR YOU;YOUR WIFE AND HER BROTHER!!!THE LITTLE INFANTS ARE IN GOD'S HANDS NOW.YES HE SCREWED UP BIGG TIME,BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU,OR I;OR ANYONE WHO IS READING THIS.WE ARE MERE HUMANS,AND BAD THINGS HAPPEN TOO GOOD PEOPLE.HER BROTHER IS GONNA NEED YOU MORE THAN EVER NOW,WHAT IF WERE YOU???S/F MARINE.:usmc: :iwo:
W2BMARINEGIRL
10-09-08, 12:19 PM
Jason, I know what you and your wife is going through. On Oct. 3 I lost one of my brother-in-laws in a car accident because he was drunk driving. Just be there for your wife and your family and be the shoulder to lean on if someone needs it. I know you are strong so keep your head up and please stop thinking "what if." All that is going to do is bring you down. God has a plan for everyone and that is one thing that has kept my head and the heads of my family up. You and your family are in my prayers.
What a tough story!! Sometimes with situations like these, all we can do is be supportive, as you have been / are being, and LEARN from it. Thanks for sharing. You may think that you can't do anything, but by sharing this story with us, you are passing on that old lesson that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. We are all accountable, always, and we must each try our best not to make the mistakes that others have made. You might not be able to help him this time, but it's another reminder for all who read this. You ARE making a difference here, just not what you might have hoped for.
Good luck to you and your family!!
SFi
C
Very well put Chumley!!!!
jgorosco
10-09-08, 12:46 PM
I want to thank each and everyone again...I am gonna go see my cousin maybe tonite or this weekend. I will pass along all your words of kindness. Again thanks for all the encouragement and support it makes me cry even harder to read. But it helps
DevsDad
10-09-08, 12:48 PM
Prayers going up for you and yours.
God Bless Marine!
Prayers are incoming........ Stand by
This is a time to put being a husband above being a cousin. But don't let go of that bond that is there. Keep the priorities.
WHAT IF....
... We didn't drop the bomb(s) on Japan ??
... We had let Europe stand alone against Hitler ??
We make our decisions based on the best information we have available at the time. And we weigh ALL of the factors and decide to act.
Then we stand to that decision, because it was the BEST one to make. And we don't second guess our selves, we believe that we did all we could do.
We make our decisions, but then the other party has to act.
Japan didn't have to surrender, but they did.
Hitler COULD have surrendered after Normandy, but he didn't.
We CANNOT stand responsible for someone elses decisions, even if it means we live with the consequensces (sp?)
Prayers incoming.......... stand by.
fjmas1976
10-09-08, 12:59 PM
Keep on keeping on Devil. Be there for your wife and family and help each other in this rough time. You and your family are in my thoughts. Semper Fi:usmc:
Marine84
10-09-08, 02:30 PM
I'm with ya my Brother! Sometimes we have to hit bottom to bounce back. Maybe now he'll get the help he needs. Don't fret none and just be there for the wife and her folks.
marinemama
10-09-08, 03:55 PM
Sending prayers out for you and your family.
2ndCEBSupply
10-09-08, 04:16 PM
This past Saturday Oct 4..he decided to drink and drive; he ended up killing two infants, 9 months and 18 months old.
Thats crazy, i hope everything turns out ok.
Prayers are outbound from my family and I to you and yours. Don't be too hard on yourself Bro, as others have said just be there when you are needed. I know it's tough, I've been there. My Dad was killed by a drunk driver on my Mom's birthday, 6-20-84. I was with her in Nashville while I was on leave. My Dad had sent her there for her birthday present. Worst day of my life, but luckily I was there when my Mom needed me the most. Now you need to be there when your wife and family need you the most.
Hang in there, Brother.
Sgt Leprechaun
10-13-08, 08:35 AM
Yellowwing nailed it.
Keep hangin in there.
ScottsMom
10-13-08, 02:30 PM
My prayers are with you and your family during this very, very difficult time. Hang in there Marine....
Sgt Jim
10-13-08, 07:40 PM
Hang tough Marine,your in my prayers