I just luvs the ladies

[wrbones]

Ain't they special!

The real meaning behind the abbreviations in personal ads:



THE WOMEN:

40-ish.................... 48
Adventurer............ Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic................. Flat-chested
Average looking.... Ugly
Beautiful............... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile.. Bring your penicillin
Educated.............. College dropout
Emotionally Secure...... Medicated
Feminist................ Fat; ball buster
Free spirit............. Substance user
Friendship first..... Trying to live down reputation as slut
Fun...................... Annoying
Gentle.................. Comatose
Good Listener...... Borderline Autistic
New-Age.............. All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned....... Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded........ Desperate
Outgoing.............. Loud
Passionate............ Loud
Poet..................... Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional......... Real Witch
Redhead.............. Shops the Clairol section
Reubenesque....... Grossly Fat
Romantic............. Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous.......... Very Fat
Weight proportional to height....... Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate.... One step away from stalking
Widow.................. Nagged first husband to death
Young at heart....... Toothless crone

[Sophora]

lets see...that makes me 40-ish, educated, emotionally secure, good listener, open minded, professional, redheaded, Ruebenesque and young at heart :D :banana:

[prmama]

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about
a woman is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about
men is they're a bunch of liars.
:bunny:

[lindagr41]

With eyes like this?....Lie to me Baby...Lie! http://home.wanadoo.nl/wineddy/images/ac92zz.jpg

Hahahahahahaha

me



http://wowjoke.com/image/1003.gif

[wrbones]

Do you know how many hours a day it takes to maintain that body that way! LMAO. Then He'll spend more time lookin in the mirror than looking at you!

[wrbones]

can't take yer eyes off a man built like that......

[wrbones]

how ya dress up......

[wrbones]

how he makes ya feel inside.

[wrbones]

how much you smile.....

[wrbones]

how good you are in bed...

[wrbones]

how good your fashion sense

[wrbones]

How much you respect him......

[wrbones]

how sexy you are.....

[wrbones]

how much you know.....

[wrbones]

how much you want to play with him.....

[wrbones]

how much you plead with him.....

[wrbones]

how much he is on all your minds....

[wrbones]

how close you are trying to be.....

[wrbones]

what you think yer like in bed....

[wrbones]

how playful you are....

[wrbones]

how much like Martha you try to be....

[wrbones]

how much you want to 'ride his car'....

[wrbones]

how much you want him to put his dog on your bun.....

[wrbones]

how you hunger after him.....

[wrbones]

how you yearn....

[wrbones]

how you howl......

[wrbones]

what you offer him....

[wrbones]

what you do for him....this year.....

[wrbones]

...next......

[wrbones]

on quite your level.....

[wrbones]

pine away over him.....

[wrbones]

which way you swing....

[wrbones]

how fast you run.....

[wrbones]

HOW fast.....

[wrbones]

the webs you spin....

[wrbones]

the spells you cast.....

[wrbones]

your power over men....

[wrbones]

How much you all admire him......

[wrbones]

how you shower him with money

[wrbones]

how disgusted with me you are.....

[wrbones]

how much you wish to remain in your shell....

[wrbones]

...a loooonnnnnggg time....for the perfect man.

[wrbones]

...Why be normal?

[wrbones]

how you try to squirm out of it.....

[wrbones]

that I really....

[wrbones]

really.....luvs the ladies.

[wrbones]

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully.
From morning til night (and sometimes later), she was always
complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was
when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow alot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in
the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a
stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began
haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet and
caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something
rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he
would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when
a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake
his head in disagreement.

This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer
about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer,
and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but
always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say something
about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd
nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

[wrbones]

A blind man and his guide dog enter a Bar and find their way to a bar
stool.
After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while the blind guy
yells to the bartender "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep
voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke,
you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer
is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate.
What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's
a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a pro
wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that
joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five
times."

[wrbones]

A man in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He keeps throwing it into
the air, where the wind catches it for a few seconds before it comes
crashing back down. Watching him from the kitchen window, his wife mutters
how men have to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells, "You need more tail."
He shouts back, "Make up your mind. Last night you told me to go fly a
kite!"

[Sparrowhawk]

I loves the ladies also, they are soft, kissable and they smell nice.



http://cookbarela.bizland.com/Women.jpg

[wrbones]

They just mesmerise me.......

[wrbones]

...just for the ladies!

[wrbones]

...number 2. Say the color you SEE out loud.

[wrbones]

...number 3. Find the circles.

[wrbones]

Well, I'll let you figure it out!

[wrbones]

once again, things aren't quite what they seem!

[wrbones]

...mentally, stack the blocks in the order that the appear.....

[wrbones]

...now?

[wrbones]

...Cas, dear, remember the true meaning of marriage, darlin!

[Barrio_rat]

But after seeing the posts from bones, I was convinced to put it here. Yes, that's right, blame bones. Figure if he can blame me for his actions I most certainly can blame him for mine!

An old hillbilly had just gotten married and was heading back to the cabin with his new bride. They rode in an old cart drawn by his mule. After a ways, the mule just stops for no reason at all. The hillbilly whips the mule and says, "thats one!" The mule continues on. After a ways more, the mule stops again. The hillbilly is angry now, whips the mule again and says, "that's two!" Again the mule moves on. After a ways more the mule stops again. The hillbilly is very angry. He reaches behind him and grabs his shotgun, says, "that's three!" and shoots the mule dead. His new bride could not believe her eyes. She begins crying and shouting at him for being such a cruel man and asking how he could do such a thing. The old hillbilly looked at her, put up a finger and said, "that's one!"

[wrbones]

.

[wrbones]

.

[wrbones]

...when they're having a bad day....

[wrbones]

...get a bit confused....

[wrbones]

...they can be kinda...ruff.....

[wrbones]

...to our world....

[wrbones]

...film noir sort of way....

[wrbones]

...soemone warm and cuddly!

[wrbones]

..warpaint when they are looking for them, too.

[wrbones]

...they are dancing on air.

[wrbones]

...to your dinner invitation....we do our best to find the appropriate venue.

[wrbones]

...like it can be the death of you.

[wrbones]

...she wil see things that no one else does.....about you....

[wrbones]

...in the land of Oz.

[wrbones]

.

[wrbones]

...that she's been having too much fun...

[wrbones]

.

[wrbones]

.

[wrbones]

.

[wrbones]

...just for her!

[wrbones]

.