wrbones
05-19-03, 01:17 AM
Two peanuts walk into a bar, one was a salted.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
Two termites walk into a bar. One asked, "Is the bar tender here?"
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to
Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
A man takes his Rottwieler to the vet and says, "My dog's
cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the
vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines
his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have
to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's
really heavy."
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off."
A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?"
asks the doc. "It's... um...well... I have five penises" replies the
man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a
glove."
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
Two termites walk into a bar. One asked, "Is the bar tender here?"
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to
Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
A man takes his Rottwieler to the vet and says, "My dog's
cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the
vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines
his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have
to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's
really heavy."
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off."
A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?"
asks the doc. "It's... um...well... I have five penises" replies the
man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a
glove."
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.