View Full Version : Feedback on speech
Well after procrastinating my a55 off and leaving it to the last day I've finally finished my speech. I'm currently taking CMS 11 which is an Introduction to Communication class. One of the requirements to pass the class is to do a 3 minute informative speech. Only one thing I know of that I can talk about for 3 minutes long lol, yup recruit training. Now before you continue on to read it understand this, I tried to sum up everything as best as I could in 2:30 - 3:00. Need to pass this class in order to ship Aug 11, 2008 so really would like some feedback on it. Let me know if I should take out information or put some in. If you hate it tell me why, all feedback is welcomed: Good evening everyone. I would like to start my speech off with a quote by Ronald Regan, "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But the Marines don't have that problem." I believe Regan couldn't have been more right. But what makes them stand out more than any other branch is where each Marine starts off at... boot camp. My speech is designed to give a brief look into what Marine Corps boot camp, or recruit training for short is like and what you can expect to be doing during your 13 weeks there. Recruit training is broken down into three phases. Phase one last five weeks. The first week is referred to as receiving that will be the time you get all your paperwork filled out and all your gear issued to you. Key events in phase one are Drill evaluation, Pugil Sticks, and Combat swimming. In order to graduate from boot camp you are required to pass the 4th level of combat swimming which involves swimming 50 meters in camoflauge gear without raising your hands above the water and floating for 4 minutes. It sounds easy but is very strenuous. Once first phase is completed you will then hike 6 miles with packs to your new home at the rifle range. Thus begins second phase. Second phase is where every Marine learns the art of marksmenship. Recruits will spend two painful weeks snapping in, which is basically dry-firing your weapon in either prone, sitting, kneeling or standing shooting positions. On the third week they will be tested by shooting from 200yrds 300yrds and 500yrds. Passing this is another requirement for graduation. Ending of phase two is summed up by team week where you will spend a week doing odd jobs around the depot. Phase three is where all the fun happens. You will do countless live fire maneuvers and practice patrolling. This leads up to the most feared and famous Crucible.The crucible is a 54 hour event where a recruit will only receive 4 hours of sleep a day and 2 MRE or Meals ready to eat for the 54 hours.The recruits will endure hours of marching, exercising, shooting, running and so much more. The Crucible is the final test in recruit training. It sums up everything that you have been taught thus far. Once the recruit finishes the crucible they then march back to the graduation deck where they will be awarded the Eagle Globe and Anchor, the Marine Corps Emblem. You have now earned the title of United States Marine. Something no one can take from you even in death. Hence the quote Once a Marine Always a Marine, there are no ex-Marines. So far when I say it in my tempo It last around 2:20-2:30 figure that is pretty good. Will end up losing points though for not having it memorized but I'll take that penalty lol. Don't know why i bother spacing and indenting stuff doesnt come out like that when i post it lmao
davblay
07-29-08, 09:07 AM
Well after procrastinating my a55 off and leaving it to the last day I've finally finished my speech. I'm currently taking CMS 11 which is an Introduction to Communication class. One of the requirements to pass the class is to do a 3 minute informative speech. Only one thing I know of that I can talk about for 3 minutes long lol, yup recruit training. Now before you continue on to read it understand this, I tried to sum up everything as best as I could in 2:30 - 3:00. Need to pass this class in order to ship Aug 11, 2008 so really would like some feedback on it. Let me know if I should take out information or put some in. If you hate it tell me why, all feedback is welcomed: Good evening everyone. I would like to start my speech off with a quote by Ronald Regan, "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But the Marines don't have that problem." I believe Regan couldn't have been more right. But what makes them stand out more than any other branch is where each Marine starts off at... boot camp. My speech is designed to give a brief look into what Marine Corps boot camp, or recruit training for short is like and what you can expect to be doing during your 13 weeks there. Recruit training is broken down into three phases. Phase one last five weeks. The first week is referred to as receiving that will be the time you get all your paperwork filled out and all your gear issued to you. Key events in phase one are Drill evaluation, Pugil Sticks, and Combat swimming. In order to graduate from boot camp you are required to pass the 4th level of combat swimming which involves swimming 50 meters in camoflauge gear without raising your hands above the water and floating for 4 minutes. It sounds easy but is very strenuous. Once first phase is completed you will then hike 6 miles with packs to your new home at the rifle range. Thus begins second phase. Second phase is where every Marine learns the art of marksmenship. Recruits will spend two painful weeks snapping in, which is basically dry-firing your weapon in either prone, sitting, kneeling or standing shooting positions. On the third week they will be tested by shooting from 200yrds 300yrds and 500yrds. Passing this is another requirement for graduation. Ending of phase two is summed up by team week where you will spend a week doing odd jobs around the depot. Phase three is where all the fun happens. You will do countless live fire maneuvers and practice patrolling. This leads up to the most feared and famous Crucible.The crucible is a 54 hour event where a recruit will only receive 4 hours of sleep a day and 2 MRE or Meals ready to eat for the 54 hours.The recruits will endure hours of marching, exercising, shooting, running and so much more. The Crucible is the final test in recruit training. It sums up everything that you have been taught thus far. Once the recruit finishes the crucible they then march back to the graduation deck where they will be awarded the Eagle Globe and Anchor, the Marine Corps Emblem. You have now earned the title of United States Marine. Something no one can take from you even in death. Hence the quote Once a Marine Always a Marine, there are no ex-Marines. So far when I say it in my tempo It last around 2:20-2:30 figure that is pretty good. Will end up losing points though for not having it memorized but I'll take that penalty lol. Don't know why i bother spacing and indenting stuff doesnt come out like that when i post it lmao
According to this link, there are only two weeks at the range, the Grass week and then the firing week:
http://www.mcrdpi.usmc.mil/training/matrix/trngmatrix02.asp
You didn't quiet make that far did you Sam? But then I could be wrong!
Dave
CplGiraffe
07-29-08, 09:24 AM
I will comment on the speech part and not the info as I am not a Marine yet so there are others that can help you with that. However I am a person who competes in the sole competition of speaking, and at this I do quite well. Never start a speech with "in my speech." Just start with the quote. When you time a speech, always make sure it is over time because when you get up to speak it, you will speak faster than you were when you are alone. 2:20 will end up at 1:55. Seperate your speech into 2 or 3 short parts. The Intro and Conclusion not included. This way you can have a quote, then explain the overall topic. Explain next the parts you will talk about. Then go to the first point, explain it again. Add some details. Then the second point, detail, etc. Then the conclusion is last where you sum up what you have talked about once again. Doing it this way will help out a lot with the timing because it will add a lot more to say.
According to this link, there are only two weeks at the range, the Grass week and then the firing week:
http://www.mcrdpi.usmc.mil/training/matrix/trngmatrix02.asp
You didn't quiet make that far did you Sam? But then I could be wrong!
Dave
Actually I made it to prequal. Wasn't going by my information though for some reason lmao, was going through I believe it was *************, cant remember source and don't have time to look it up. But thanks for pointing that one out Cpl.Blaylock. I remember grass week , fire week, team week and that is about it.
2 weeks fiddling with the rifles then team week then after team week a-line/bwt where you do combat marksmanship. thats how it was in the old corps when you only got 1 beer(im kidding on that part). no but seriously thats how it was when i went through sept-dec 07
Banshee
07-29-08, 12:45 PM
Try putting in some information about the mental side of Boot--what makes a Marine a Marine. This will give your audience more of an insight into the life, instead of just the physical aspect which is what most people are already familiar with. This will give your speech more depth.
Well thought I'd post how my speech went. I was nervous as hell, but everything worked out great, my speech was said not only by my class mates but by my professor that it was one of the best in the class. So I'm happy bout that, should be passing that class. Also took Math final today, probably got like a 65-75. As long as I pass I'm happy, if MEPs would just accept my waiver so i can DEP my ship date would be Aug 11th. Cmon MEPs I love you accept my waiver. Got my GED and 15 college credits, hope I get PFC rank. Roman out.
DGardner
07-31-08, 11:30 AM
Paragraphs.....
If you noticed I tried editing it. My reason for editing it was because it was on big cluster FVCK. Seems that when I took the time to indent each paragraph and make it look like a decent piece of writing when I hit post and read it, my whole writing turns into one paragraph.
DGardner
07-31-08, 03:30 PM
Fix it lol
SlingerDun
07-31-08, 04:31 PM
Good evening everyone. I would like to start my speech off with a quote by Ronald Regan, "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But the Marines don't have that problem." I believe Regan couldn't have been more right. But what makes them stand out more than any other branch is where each Marine starts off at... boot campOk the speech has begun and you have directly suggested to the audience where its going,,,
My speech is designed to give a brief look into what Marine Corps boot camp, or recruit training for short is like and what you can expect to be doing....Yep we gathered that from the first 'paragraph,' assume we are of reasonable intelligence if not alert.
Recruit training is broken down into three phases.....Phase three is where all the fun happensNow you never made it this far on your first attempt, correct? So its theory without practice, speculation. This is where your authoritative lecture (yes more lecture than speech) on boot camp training should end. It could be altered and take on a personal twist with a well timed entry explaining what happens when one fails to qualify at the rifle range or for whatever reason your experience was cut short. Leaving the audience with an idea that your speech is unfinished and to be continued...
Ok the speech has begun and you have directly suggested to the audience where its going,,,Yep we gathered that from the first 'paragraph,' assume we are of reasonable intelligence if not alert.Now you never made it this far on your first attempt, correct? So its theory without practice, speculation. This is where your authoritative lecture (yes more lecture than speech) on boot camp training should end. It could be altered and take on a personal twist with a well timed entry explaining what happens when one fails to qualify at the rifle range or for whatever reason your experience was cut short. Leaving the audience with an idea that your speech is unfinished and to be continued...
My speech wasn't to inform those of my personal experience, It was designed as I stated in paragraph one, that it was recruit training broken down into the 3 phases. I was fortunate enough to know first hand knowledge of the first 2 phases, so that helped with informing my audience as to what actually happens. When I spoke about 3rd phase it was from either what other recruits at the same said or what my SDI said about it. That and what I read was able to read about it or get from those who've made it past that phase. I guess if I could redo my speech I wouldn't have included that bit about where I reemphasized what my speech was about. Well talked to my professor he said I definitely passed the class. Now I have to wait a week for the grades to get put into the system so that MEPs can see I passed them. Then If I'm lucky I'll be shipping with those poolees who leave Aug 11.
davblay
08-01-08, 12:17 AM
My speech wasn't to inform those of my personal experience, It was designed as I stated in paragraph one, that it was recruit training broken down into the 3 phases. I was fortunate enough to know first hand knowledge of the first 2 phases, so that helped with informing my audience as to what actually happens. When I spoke about 3rd phase it was from either what other recruits at the same said or what my SDI said about it. That and what I read was able to read about it or get from those who've made it past that phase. I guess if I could redo my speech I wouldn't have included that bit about where I reemphasized what my speech was about. Well talked to my professor he said I definitely passed the class. Now I have to wait a week for the grades to get put into the system so that MEPs can see I passed them. Then If I'm lucky I'll be shipping with those poolees who leave Aug 11.
Remember Sam you will start out on the yellow footprints just like everyone else in your group, no favors!
Remember Sam you will start out on the yellow footprints just like everyone else in your group, no favors!
Wouldn't want to start any other way :) Fresh pair of new balances with a fresh new platoon. I just hope I can be a good enough leader to help my fellow recruits through the hardship of recruit training.