LadyLeatherneck
07-31-02, 02:50 PM
> > ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
> > Smart man + smart woman = romance
> > Smart man + dumb woman = affair
> > Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
> > Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
> >
> > SHOPPING MATH
> > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
> >
> > GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
> > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> > A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
> > A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
> >
> > HAPPINESS
> > To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
> > little.
> > To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
> > understand her at all.
> >
> > LONGEVITY
> > Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more
> > willing to die.
> >
> > PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
> > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
> >
> > DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
> > A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
> > that is the beginning of a new argument.
> >
> > HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
> > Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
> > cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
> > the same thing to them at funerals.
> > Smart man + smart woman = romance
> > Smart man + dumb woman = affair
> > Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
> > Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
> >
> > SHOPPING MATH
> > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
> >
> > GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
> > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> > A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
> > A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
> >
> > HAPPINESS
> > To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
> > little.
> > To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
> > understand her at all.
> >
> > LONGEVITY
> > Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more
> > willing to die.
> >
> > PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
> > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
> >
> > DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
> > A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
> > that is the beginning of a new argument.
> >
> > HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
> > Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
> > cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
> > the same thing to them at funerals.