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LadyLeatherneck
07-31-02, 03:50 PM
> > ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
> > Smart man + smart woman = romance
> > Smart man + dumb woman = affair
> > Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
> > Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
> >
> > SHOPPING MATH
> > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
> >
> > GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
> > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> > A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
> > A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
> >
> > HAPPINESS
> > To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
> > little.
> > To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
> > understand her at all.
> >
> > LONGEVITY
> > Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more
> > willing to die.
> >
> > PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
> > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
> >
> > DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
> > A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
> > that is the beginning of a new argument.
> >
> > HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
> > Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
> > cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
> > the same thing to them at funerals.

Swick
07-31-02, 03:57 PM
:) Enjoyed your Men, Women and Math a lot. Passing it on to friends.
Thanks.

Sparrowhawk
07-31-02, 04:26 PM
If a man is in the middle of a forest and there are no women around and he says something, is he still wrong?

LadyLeatherneck
07-31-02, 04:33 PM
OF COURS HE'S WRONG!

Glad you enjoyed that Swick. I thought it was pretty funny
myself. Especially this one...

> Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
> > Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


Now I know what my problem has been this whole time. I've
been married to a dumb man. I might of started out dumb,
but I got SMART.:evilgrin:

GarvinRay
07-31-02, 05:28 PM
Thanks LL that was GREAT! LOL

A friend sent me one the other day:

How to keep a marriage successful.

1. You need marry a woman that is a good cook and home maker.
2. You need to marry a woman with wealth.
3. You need to marry a woman that desires a lot of sex.
4. You have to keep these three women from meeting each other. :evilgrin: :evilgrin:

Sparrowhawk
07-31-02, 05:28 PM
Why didn't I meet you when you were dumb!....LMAO


Good one ~ GarvinRay

LadyLeatherneck
07-31-02, 05:34 PM
GarvinRay that is hilarious!!! :evilgrin: Way too funny!

ROTFLMAO Sparrow..don't ya wish :p

Sparrowhawk
07-31-02, 05:49 PM
member, you got no butt!!!!

Sparrowhawk
07-31-02, 05:56 PM
New Butt, No Embarrassment



(Nutricise ) Building a better behind doesn't have to be mortifying. Our no-excuse routine can firm up your buttocks anywhere and anytime without a single machine or stair


Building the butt you've always wanted doesn't have to take some $1,000 machine you'll never afford or ever feel comfortable using in the gym. "Treating your behind to an intense, muscle-toning, shape-building workout is something you can do in the privacy of wherever you decide to put it to the test," says Heather Dillinger, national certification specialist for the Aerobic and Fitness Association of America and pro trainer for Gold's Gym in Alexandria, Virginia.


With this no-excuse routine, it's simple to target and firm up your buttocks at home, on the road or even in the office using a few easy-to-do body-weight exercises. Try these firming moves three times a week and the only bad thing you'll leave behind you will be, well, your old behind!


One-Legged Wall Squat

Stand about 18 inches away from a sturdy wall and turn your back to it. Gently lean backward until your back is flat on the wall, arms at your sides, hands flat on the wall for support. Take your right foot and tuck it behind your left ankle. You're now ready to begin.


Next, slowly slide down the wall until your left thigh is almost parallel to the floor. Hold this position for a second and then slide back to starting position. Perform as many repetitions as you can. Switch legs and repeat. Do 3 sets total before moving onto the next exercise.


Bed Leg Raise

Lie facedown on the edge of a bed so that your hips rest comfortably on the bed's edge, legs together, toes touching the floor. (If this position feels uncomfortable, try tucking a rolled-up towel underneath your hips.) Your stomach, chest and face should be lying comfortably on the mattress. Place your arms overhead and grip the sides of the bed.


Keeping your legs together, slowly lift them until they are even with the bed. Squeeze your butt muscles, and hold for 2 seconds. Now, slowly move your legs apart and hold for 1 second. Squeeze your legs back together and then slowly return to starting position. Repeat for 8 to 12 reps. Perform 3 sets total before moving onto the next exercise.


Wall Leg Press

Lie faceup on the floor and place your feet flat against a sturdy wall so that your knees are at 90-degree angles, arms at your sides, palms facing down. Slowly raise your butt several inches off the floor, tucking your pelvis as you go. Maintain this position for 2 to 4 seconds and then slowly lower back to the floor. Repeat for 8 to 12 reps. Perform 3 sets total.