jetdawgg
05-14-08, 03:14 PM
Layoff
This letter serves to officially inform you that with immediate effect your services as 'outside woman' will no longer be needed. Due to the recent increases in the price of fuel and the continued escalation of the cost of living, it has now become increasingly difficult for me to continue supporting two women (namely you and the wife).
Therefore, following a recent board meeting (namely an ultimatum put forward by the wife), I have now been forced to cut staff. Since the wife says that she is not going away and has threatened industrial action, after careful deliberation and a meeting with my Financial Manager (the wife) and Human Resource Manager (also the wife), a decision was made to lay you off.
I am sure that you would have realised that over the last couple of weeks I have not been utilising your services as much and you haven't been seeing me too regular. It is not so much that I didn't want to pass and give you a shout, but the gas prices girl, the gas prices, and you know that piece of old car I have, from the time I back it out the garage it does want something to drink.
Moreover, every time I pass by, you always are in some kind of financial difficulty, when it isn't your gas bottle that just run out, it is the light bill, the gate door needs fixing, it is the fellas who cut the grass waiting on me to get paid. And when I tell you that things are flat you get your mouth pushed up in the air and ignore me the whole night.
Plus the wife says that regardless of how high the prices get she is not cutting back for a soul (especially you), she has to look better than you when she steps out this house, so every weekend she is at the salon getting she hair fixed up, and getting the fingernails and the toe nails spray painted. When she is done I still have to buy rice (which has gone up), chicken (which has gone up), flour, fish, lard oil and butter (all which gone has gone up), which don't leave nothing much for you.
Furthermore, even though you were able to assist me in certain areas in which the wife was deficient, I distinctively remember you informing me when we were finalising your job description, that you will not be washing my clothes nor my underwear, you are not pressing, you are not turning coo-coo, nor tending to lame feet. You said that it was the duties of my wife and children, plus you say that you don't want any man sleeping in with you, so by a certain time of night I used to have to break for home.
Well I'm breaking for home for good.
I therefore take this opportunity to thank you for all services rendered in the past and do wish you continued success in your future endeavors as an 'outside woman'. I am sure an 'outside woman' with your experience would be an asset to any hen pecked husband, and I would be more than happy to provide you with a letter of recommendation should you require one.
Once again thank you and good luck.
This letter serves to officially inform you that with immediate effect your services as 'outside woman' will no longer be needed. Due to the recent increases in the price of fuel and the continued escalation of the cost of living, it has now become increasingly difficult for me to continue supporting two women (namely you and the wife).
Therefore, following a recent board meeting (namely an ultimatum put forward by the wife), I have now been forced to cut staff. Since the wife says that she is not going away and has threatened industrial action, after careful deliberation and a meeting with my Financial Manager (the wife) and Human Resource Manager (also the wife), a decision was made to lay you off.
I am sure that you would have realised that over the last couple of weeks I have not been utilising your services as much and you haven't been seeing me too regular. It is not so much that I didn't want to pass and give you a shout, but the gas prices girl, the gas prices, and you know that piece of old car I have, from the time I back it out the garage it does want something to drink.
Moreover, every time I pass by, you always are in some kind of financial difficulty, when it isn't your gas bottle that just run out, it is the light bill, the gate door needs fixing, it is the fellas who cut the grass waiting on me to get paid. And when I tell you that things are flat you get your mouth pushed up in the air and ignore me the whole night.
Plus the wife says that regardless of how high the prices get she is not cutting back for a soul (especially you), she has to look better than you when she steps out this house, so every weekend she is at the salon getting she hair fixed up, and getting the fingernails and the toe nails spray painted. When she is done I still have to buy rice (which has gone up), chicken (which has gone up), flour, fish, lard oil and butter (all which gone has gone up), which don't leave nothing much for you.
Furthermore, even though you were able to assist me in certain areas in which the wife was deficient, I distinctively remember you informing me when we were finalising your job description, that you will not be washing my clothes nor my underwear, you are not pressing, you are not turning coo-coo, nor tending to lame feet. You said that it was the duties of my wife and children, plus you say that you don't want any man sleeping in with you, so by a certain time of night I used to have to break for home.
Well I'm breaking for home for good.
I therefore take this opportunity to thank you for all services rendered in the past and do wish you continued success in your future endeavors as an 'outside woman'. I am sure an 'outside woman' with your experience would be an asset to any hen pecked husband, and I would be more than happy to provide you with a letter of recommendation should you require one.
Once again thank you and good luck.