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View Full Version : Another fellow Marine needs your help



krisy888
04-26-08, 03:47 PM
I'm a wife of a Marine, who loves his Marine but can't help him like a fellow Marine can. My husband is a long ways from home, moving here to Oregon from Georgia. He was retired after being evaluated at 100% PTSD, which still angers him, feels like he was thrown away.
The thing now is if he don't get any support, I don't think he will make it. He binge drinks, I mean getting up drinking, sleeping, drinking and sleeping and not eating for days on end. He has been through the VA 30 day inpatient alcohol program twice in as many years. Been through outpatient PTSD counseling, but gets bumped from the inpatient PTSD program because of guys coming back from Iraq, not that it is a good idea to catch them early but where does that leave the guys who have been suffering for years and need a tune-up? He knows he has a problem, he knows its his crutch, but this time of year is bad, alot of dates. My husband is a wonderful man when he is in full control of his enviroment but the alcohol prevents him from being in control then it takes over. I was hoping to make a plea out there to anybody who possibly lives in the area, Albany,Oregon, one of your fellow Marines needs your help, I know I'm not enough, he needs somebody who knows what its like to live with this everyday of there life, somebody to talk too and understand what he is feeling, that is one major thing in his life that is missing. Thank you

Marine84
04-26-08, 05:13 PM
Krisy - have him sign onto a few sites - he'll see he's not alone. There are guys here that have it so, they can all help him in some way or point him in the right direction. Good luck!

sgt.r.n.davis
04-26-08, 05:14 PM
Sorry, But I Do Live In Pa. The Best That I Can Offer Is Jesus!!!
You Tried All The Outside Treatments, Now He Needs His Spirit And Soul Filled With The Love Of Our Lord And Savior...Christ Jesus...
John 3:16...
A Brother Marine, And A Brother In Christ!
I Will Be Praying For A Complete Recovery!!!

bootlace15
04-26-08, 06:40 PM
what the hell. He's been to the VA twice under the 30 day program. He knows he got a problem. Well I say get bent,stop whinning and throw out the booze bottles. I hate non hackers who are looking for simpathy.

bootlace15 out

pack your friggen bags,and tell the drunk its either you or the booze.

Marine84
04-26-08, 07:01 PM
As you can see Krisy, bootlace (with all due respect) ain't got help for his issues yet either.

sgt tony
04-26-08, 07:49 PM
amen to that 84 he need it real bad.

All I can say is you just don't give up and keep butting your head up on the door and some time it will open and tthe help will be there. He might even try out side of VA

bootlace15
04-26-08, 08:23 PM
Marine84,

LMAO, Not all of us turn to the bottle,if you know what I mean.............

bootlace15 out

My issues are addressed everyday...........

ecfree
04-26-08, 08:43 PM
Krissy888,I wish I was there to help y'all.
I'm in S.Carolina.The VA has it's hands full,so they say.Try the VFW or the Am. Legion,also the nearest church.The preacher,priest or rabbi,will try to help.
Who knows one of them could be a vet,a Marine as well.
You in my prayers,God Bless.
Let us know how he does.:thumbup:

ecfree
04-28-08, 02:41 PM
Good advice,Sterge.
Where,s your profile???????????

MotherGoose
04-28-08, 03:07 PM
Your county should have a Veterans Service Officer that may have resources. Is there a Marine Corps League near? How about a Vet Center? Contact the VFW, the American Legion... He needs help, he needs to get out and help others, he can't just slide into an abyss. Get a chaplain over, go to church, go to Al-Anon yourself, you can't be dragged into the abyss too but he needs help getting out of it. No one can do that alone. Does he have any pets? Pets can be good for the soul.

Big Jim
04-28-08, 06:25 PM
what the hell. He's been to the VA twice under the 30 day program. He knows he got a problem. Well I say get bent,stop whinning and throw out the booze bottles. I hate non hackers who are looking for simpathy.

bootlace15 out

pack your friggen bags,and tell the drunk its either you or the booze.


C'mon bootlace, where's your comraderie for your fellow Marine?!?! I'm sure when YOU were active duty...someone HAD to help you out...with the attitude you have...I KNOW someone had to have helped you at some point in your enlistment!! Maybe that was why you STAYED a Pfc., huh? Oh well, that doesn't matter.....what matters is that a Marine needs help here!!! OUR help!!!

krisy...like you were advised, don't give up on the man you love...he needs you now more than ever, even if he doesn't realize it! Help him look for the help he so much needs! If he was diagnosed with PTSD...the VA is his best bet! I go through my VA center and they offer TONS of programs and treatment for this!! So look on line or ask your county VA where the VA clinic is located and they'll help out with finances and transpotation and grocery vouchers! Even with employment when he gets better!! Trust me...it'll help him...

krisy888
04-29-08, 09:27 AM
Thank you for all the valuable information and tips that you guys have sent, I really appreciate it. This is some of the best advise that we have gotten is from the guys who know. Finding this site was by accident but I'm glad I found it and I know he will be happy too. He is coming back around, through tough love and caring. As soon as he is able I will be showing him this site and he will see he isn't alone in his fight. Thank you again:thumbup: I will keep you posted, and I think soon he will become very involved here

Chrissy

yellowwing
04-29-08, 10:40 AM
You will find that Marines will walk through fire for a Brother. But if he doesn't ask we will stand back.

Gator347
04-29-08, 01:15 PM
Sorry, But I Do Live In Pa. The Best That I Can Offer Is Jesus!!!
You Tried All The Outside Treatments, Now He Needs His Spirit And Soul Filled With The Love Of Our Lord And Savior...Christ Jesus...
John 3:16...
A Brother Marine, And A Brother In Christ!
I Will Be Praying For A Complete Recovery!!!

Amen!!!!

You are barking up a tree "If he doen't want it"!

Try a Spiritully based program (12 Step) Give him all the support you can WITHOUT enabling. - Enabling does more harm than good. (That may be what Bootlace is saying. - I hope)

You may look into ALANON so you can get some help & support.

Our Prayers are with you:angel:

krisy888
04-29-08, 01:30 PM
Amen!!!!

You are barking up a tree "If he doen't want it"!

Try a Spiritully based program (12 Step) Give him all the support you can WITHOUT enabling. - Enabling does more harm than good. (That may be what Bootlace is saying. - I hope)

You may look into ALANON so you can get some help & support.

Our Prayers are with you:angel:

I have received counceling and do attend Al-non ( probably why I'm still sane through all this) what I'm trying to do is let him see the light himself and know there are a lot of resources and support out there for him, thanks to all the replys from all of you, I have good information to give to him. Hes got my support but he has to realize things on his own, that I have learned. I have to be as tough as he is

Gator347
04-29-08, 02:55 PM
God bless you Krissy.

I have no clue what so many of these fine men & women have endured. (Like your husband)

My Brother-In-Law still won’t go camping (Capt. in Nam) and my sister talks very little about it either (Nurse – EVAC in Nam who lost her fiancé - USMC Chopper Pilot)

But many here are willing to help your husband.

egbutler1
04-29-08, 04:52 PM
When I got back from Iraq I had no idea what was wrong with me. They told us its normal to feel weird and it goes away in about 30 days. I was drinking to go to sleep but hell we always drank while i was in, and i just figured i couldn't sleep because of jetlag. Well a year later and my share of bottles down I went to the VA and got some help. Not nearly enough help but it was a start. Granted they can only see me about every 3 months. I had to learn that help doesn't come find you, you have to actually realize you have a problem and be pro-active about it and find help yourself (Easier said than done). My biggest help was my wife, she had seen who and what I was before combat and now who and what I am after combat. She never stopped pushing me, she still doesn't stop. It's really hard for me to talk about what happened to me so she doesn't really understand but she still reads tons of books and seeks help herself to help me. Just recently I took myself to the Vets Center, they offer great counseling at a much faster rate than the VA (once every 3 months), I get in once a week at the VetsCenter. Its great, really hard but great. If i miss an Appointment unlike the VA they hunt me down and make sure I'm still alive. It's great to know someone cares. As for your husband I feel for him, but our wars were different. They were very pro-active on getting us help unlike back in the 60's 70's. Basically the best i can say is keep on him, he will get mad at you, continue to drink, until he figures it out for himself. But if you keep on him especially on those "Unforgiving dates" (got tons of those days myself) it can only help. I wish i could say he will do a 180, but I know that is very unlikely but he can get better. Hook him up with this site, it has been very therapeutic for me, your surrounded by your brothers, and people who understand (for the most part) of what your are going threw. Also I took up some "crazy" sports and activities like Mountain climbing and sky diving, i found that helps me fill the adrenaline void of the civilian life, but that could just be me. I only hope this can help somewhat. Semper Fidelis.

Cpl. Butler OIF Combat VET

jawhed
05-19-08, 09:36 AM
krissy please tell your marine he has to reach out to his brothers who served with him and ask them if they are going throuh the **** . iam a viet nam vet who on my return to the world would drink till ipast out that was the only way icould sleep without nitemares or wake up in acold sweat. idid that for 25 yrs. if he can accept being an alcolhic thenhe has to choose between the booze or your love be stronge and make him .

redboxercasino
05-23-08, 10:15 PM
don't want to act like i don't care,cause i do ,may i suggest this.not all va's are the same,not all dr's act like they themselves have there heads screwed on right,but there are some good dr's in the system,a young lady at jacksonville,nc,,not realizing it helped me get back on the right track,try contacting the drifter on this sight,very wise young lady,and i may be bold,,i consider her a good friend,,your marine needs all the friend's he can get,don't give up,,and yes jesus christ is the real answer,i wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for him,and friend's here at ft.bragg,i wish you all the luck in this world,,god bless,god does answer prayer's,,call on him.

jrhd97
05-23-08, 10:44 PM
Try Teen Challenge. The name is a little deceiving as they do take adults.
http://teenchallengeusa.com/locations.php?stateID=37#results
These are the contacts for them in your state. Our church supports the NC chapter. We have seen some amazing results.

redboxercasino
05-24-08, 07:19 PM
good idea,oorah

krisy888
06-06-08, 07:11 PM
I wanted to stop by and let you guys know how well he is doing. He is doing great. He has been sober for a month and a half, its a great start. But also is getting some pretty intensive therapy through the VA, created by a Veteran who is a counselor there and also suffers from PTSD himself. I go as much as I can except for the PTSD, which is just for them, but I have learned a lot about him, what makes him tick and also some of the sessions I have gotten something out of for me. But we are doing great right now, he is the happiest I have seen him in a long time. Just checking in :)

ecfree
06-06-08, 07:20 PM
Hey kriss888,it's good to hear from you.
I'm happy to hear your Marine is doing better.
We're praying for him to pull thru.
God bless both of you.:thumbup:

sparkie
06-06-08, 07:37 PM
Im glad Bootlace wasn't my advisor when I was locked down. Took a year to get my head back on,,,, With Boot,,, maybe 3.
I will pray,,,,,,,,,,,

krisy888
06-06-08, 08:02 PM
sparkie, I love it ;) thank u for your prayers

Big Jim
06-06-08, 08:33 PM
I wanted to stop by and let you guys know how well he is doing. He is doing great. He has been sober for a month and a half, its a great start. But also is getting some pretty intensive therapy through the VA, created by a Veteran who is a counselor there and also suffers from PTSD himself. I go as much as I can except for the PTSD, which is just for them, but I have learned a lot about him, what makes him tick and also some of the sessions I have gotten something out of for me. But we are doing great right now, he is the happiest I have seen him in a long time. Just checking in :)

Thats wonderful, krisy...really great news. Even though we've been through hell and out the other side and sometimes get lost in the process, that doesn't mean we want to stay lost. The love of a good woman with a good swift kick in the azz and maybe a threat or two and he knows where he stands again....on his own two feet. He's got no choice!! You've done good...stay the course my friend...and tell him to come on this site and say hello to some of his family. I, for one, am looking forward to meeting him!!! God bless...!!!

redboxercasino
06-06-08, 11:12 PM
krisy888,glad to hear your devil dog is doing so much better,hang in there,yes get him on the site,Marine's understand Marine's. thank god for em,otherwise our country would be lost,my prayer's and thought's are with you. SEMPER FI " ALWAY's FAITHFUL"