thedrifter
04-23-08, 03:46 AM
A conversation with. . . Pete Mattice: Life after Iraq
Cody O Rourke / Columnist
Last updated: Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008 11:01:08 AM
No one is unscathed by war: it penetrates deep into our lives; either directly or indirectly. It swarms us with images of battle: statistics of our loved ones not returning home to their families mount daily.
Those who have served directly, those who have witnessed life pass before their eyes – whether it was someone close and dear, someone whose friendship has been tempered by chaos and uncertainty or the “enemy” who is put in the cross hairs.
Pete Mattice has served in the “eye of the storm” during his tours of duty in Iraq. In many ways, Pete is a microcosm of the war: the struggles, the perseverance, the search for hope and meaning. At 25 years old, he is contemplating his future and the future of his daughter Liberty – deciding whether his future is in Iraq, or somewhere else, like in the lecture halls of our universities.
The Record & Clarion recently sat down with Pete to talk about life during and after his service in the war with Iraq.
GCR: When did you enlist in the Marine Corps?
Pete: I enlisted in May 2001, right before I graduated from Gladwin High School. My friend Matt Simpson told Staff Sgt. Lustri that I went to Gladwin and that I might be interested. He talked to me in the parking lot of Gladwin High School; I was dating a girl and we had broken up. I left a note for my mom saying I am signing up for the Marine Corp. Shortly after, we went to Lansing to take the ASVAB test. The recruiter didn’t sugar coat it for me, and I told him I wanted basic infantry. I didn’t want a desk job. He talked about qualities – virtues he said that the Marine Corps offered: discipline, loyalty, trust…Most people don’t see how those qualities are important. But that was a big fish hook right there for me, those virtues.
GCR: Are you the first Marine in the family?
Pete: I am the first Marine since my Uncle David – he was in Vietnam.
GCR: How did your mother respond to you enlisting in the Marines?
Pete: She was very shocked because she didn’t see it coming. She said she would support me, but had thought I was going to college. It hit her like a ton of bricks. She was like, “YOU DID WHAT?” But she was very supportive, and continued to remind me she loved me. The first time I became activated to go to Iraq, it was really hard on all of us because we were going to be so far apart. My whole family is really close, so it was very tough to be away from them. My mom wrote something in the paper, and that had meant a lot to me – that she showed her support in that way.
GCR: Did you know much about the history and politics of Iraq before you went?
Pete: After 9/11 happened, they were talking about activation, but we kept on training – nothing new: jungle war training. We didn’t think we were going to Iraq at all. Then 2002 came and they were talking more seriously about it. They told us, “You are in the rotation right now.” Then 2003 came around – I was down state working in Wyandotte and I came up here for a hockey game. That was when I got the call. They read me the paper and told me to come in on Monday to sign the paperwork and get my orders. I went ahead and played that hockey game, but I told them they had to find another player for future games. I signed the papers in Saginaw in February 2003. We left in March. I didn’t know much about the country that I was heading into.
GCR: How has your understanding of the war changed?
Pete: Perception for me hasn’t changed at all. The whole time a person trains, it’s with the words “KILL.” You base everything off “KILL.” The Marine Corp plays motivating videos – they show music video clips of the Taliban set to music like “Let the Bodies Hit Floor” by Drowning Pool. So that is your motivation when you head over there – to kill.
GCR: So what is the root cause of this war?
Pete: It is a religious war that has been going on for thousands of years. We’re going in there trying to command the Sunnis, the Shi’a, and then they all turn against us – then we are fighting all the Iraqis. We help one group, then the other group gets upset, then the other group fights us.
GCR: You were in Fallujah, what was the atmosphere like there?
Pete: In Fallujah, civilians aren’t allowed to have weapons. They can have one per household, but it has to be in the house. If you see someone there with a weapon, you shoot him – it is that simple. When we’d see a guy on a cell phone even, we’d detain him, question him, or kill him.
GCR: Where do you think oil comes into play in this war?
Pete: Politics. It is a political battle for oil. The way I explained it to my Marines is that we are all “thumb tacks.” We’re going to take over this slice of the map, hold this piece of the geography.
GCR: What was the decision-making process like over there?
Pete: There are a lot of decisions in combat: Who is this guy? Why is he handing that guy money? Is this guy involved in something? Do I shoot him? I watched an IED go off in Fallujah, and then I saw one guy hand another guy money and didn’t know if I should shoot him or not. I didn’t, and he got away and we never found him.
The reason we are fighting so many people because of these IEDs is that so many people are being bought out – they are unemployed and need to take care of their families, so they take the money. Or they do it because they are under threat, under the fear that somebody will kill their family. Then there are those families who are entangled in resentments because their mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters have been murdered, illegally detained, or something like that, so they want to get revenge on somebody. All those dynamics replicate themselves. And at the same time, you’re being constantly told, “It’s a religious war;” then, “It’s weapons of mass destruction;” then, “The president wants the oil.”
GCR: Do you feel like you were misled?
Pete: I was misled a lot, about different perspectives of what war is, about what the Marine Corp is. With a lot of orders they tell you to do it and don’t tell you why. It was like they set us up for bait – we had to wait until we were attacked before we could attack. Why do we wait for something like that? Or a scenario like this unfolds: You ask, “Why is this guy detained?” and they say, “Why do you care? You didn’t detain him.” It just goes left unchecked.
GCR: Do you feel like your trust was broken?
Pete: I am going to say no, because I am an optimistic person. And because I defend the Marine Corp. Like when your kid gets into a fight – obviously he was just defending himself. You don’t want to believe your kid started the fight. In the Marine Corp it boils down to the same thing – you weren’t deceived, it was just bad communication. That is the way I think.
GCR: Have you ever struggled with what war is?
Pete: No, I never really thought about it. I just thought whoever dies isn’t part of the war anymore. War is war. It is a common thing. It is something we do in life. Everybody has done it in life – the Trojans, the Aztecs, the German Empire. I don’t think in depth about it.
GCR: People create their identity through their employment, through their family, through their success. How much of your identity is being a Marine?
Pete: I don’t know how I would see myself as not being a Marine. I have thought about computer programming, because I have been interested in computers since I was 13 years old. It is hard to explain the brotherhood of the Marines. It is because we have been through the same things together.
GCR: How has the transition back to civilian life been?
Pete: When you get back from a combat zone, it is difficult.
When you are there, you’re thinking to yourself: I can’t wait to get home, to see my family, friends, barbecue.
But when you actually get home, you’re like, “I don’t know if I want to talk to anybody.” You don’t want to be around a lot of people all at once. You feel crowded in groups. Now though, I am adapting and getting back to normal. But at first it is very difficult, and people have a hard time realizing those difficulties.
GCR: How so?
Pete: Sometimes people overestimate the events and how they affected you, or underestimate how they affected you.
GCR: What is life about now?
Pete: It’s almost like being dropped off in the woods: “All right, do whatever you want.”
I’m an open-minded person. I feel like there is a purpose, but at the same time there isn’t a purpose. Just to make your own life – your own path – you need to step out of your circle and look at your life. We need to reconstruct our lives all the time. A person needs to make their own choices.
Right now I am sitting back and looking at life and deciding on what to do next – whether or not to go back to the Marines, or go to school. I want to go to school, stay here and be part of my daughter’s life and be able to provide for her. But with the economy, it is difficult. I want to go to school, but it is difficult. I just want to do something that benefits me and my daughter. I want to be able to make those steps in the right direction. My stress comes from making those decisions.
GCR: Whatever path you choose, we wish you the best of luck. Thanks, Pete.
Ellie
Cody O Rourke / Columnist
Last updated: Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008 11:01:08 AM
No one is unscathed by war: it penetrates deep into our lives; either directly or indirectly. It swarms us with images of battle: statistics of our loved ones not returning home to their families mount daily.
Those who have served directly, those who have witnessed life pass before their eyes – whether it was someone close and dear, someone whose friendship has been tempered by chaos and uncertainty or the “enemy” who is put in the cross hairs.
Pete Mattice has served in the “eye of the storm” during his tours of duty in Iraq. In many ways, Pete is a microcosm of the war: the struggles, the perseverance, the search for hope and meaning. At 25 years old, he is contemplating his future and the future of his daughter Liberty – deciding whether his future is in Iraq, or somewhere else, like in the lecture halls of our universities.
The Record & Clarion recently sat down with Pete to talk about life during and after his service in the war with Iraq.
GCR: When did you enlist in the Marine Corps?
Pete: I enlisted in May 2001, right before I graduated from Gladwin High School. My friend Matt Simpson told Staff Sgt. Lustri that I went to Gladwin and that I might be interested. He talked to me in the parking lot of Gladwin High School; I was dating a girl and we had broken up. I left a note for my mom saying I am signing up for the Marine Corp. Shortly after, we went to Lansing to take the ASVAB test. The recruiter didn’t sugar coat it for me, and I told him I wanted basic infantry. I didn’t want a desk job. He talked about qualities – virtues he said that the Marine Corps offered: discipline, loyalty, trust…Most people don’t see how those qualities are important. But that was a big fish hook right there for me, those virtues.
GCR: Are you the first Marine in the family?
Pete: I am the first Marine since my Uncle David – he was in Vietnam.
GCR: How did your mother respond to you enlisting in the Marines?
Pete: She was very shocked because she didn’t see it coming. She said she would support me, but had thought I was going to college. It hit her like a ton of bricks. She was like, “YOU DID WHAT?” But she was very supportive, and continued to remind me she loved me. The first time I became activated to go to Iraq, it was really hard on all of us because we were going to be so far apart. My whole family is really close, so it was very tough to be away from them. My mom wrote something in the paper, and that had meant a lot to me – that she showed her support in that way.
GCR: Did you know much about the history and politics of Iraq before you went?
Pete: After 9/11 happened, they were talking about activation, but we kept on training – nothing new: jungle war training. We didn’t think we were going to Iraq at all. Then 2002 came and they were talking more seriously about it. They told us, “You are in the rotation right now.” Then 2003 came around – I was down state working in Wyandotte and I came up here for a hockey game. That was when I got the call. They read me the paper and told me to come in on Monday to sign the paperwork and get my orders. I went ahead and played that hockey game, but I told them they had to find another player for future games. I signed the papers in Saginaw in February 2003. We left in March. I didn’t know much about the country that I was heading into.
GCR: How has your understanding of the war changed?
Pete: Perception for me hasn’t changed at all. The whole time a person trains, it’s with the words “KILL.” You base everything off “KILL.” The Marine Corp plays motivating videos – they show music video clips of the Taliban set to music like “Let the Bodies Hit Floor” by Drowning Pool. So that is your motivation when you head over there – to kill.
GCR: So what is the root cause of this war?
Pete: It is a religious war that has been going on for thousands of years. We’re going in there trying to command the Sunnis, the Shi’a, and then they all turn against us – then we are fighting all the Iraqis. We help one group, then the other group gets upset, then the other group fights us.
GCR: You were in Fallujah, what was the atmosphere like there?
Pete: In Fallujah, civilians aren’t allowed to have weapons. They can have one per household, but it has to be in the house. If you see someone there with a weapon, you shoot him – it is that simple. When we’d see a guy on a cell phone even, we’d detain him, question him, or kill him.
GCR: Where do you think oil comes into play in this war?
Pete: Politics. It is a political battle for oil. The way I explained it to my Marines is that we are all “thumb tacks.” We’re going to take over this slice of the map, hold this piece of the geography.
GCR: What was the decision-making process like over there?
Pete: There are a lot of decisions in combat: Who is this guy? Why is he handing that guy money? Is this guy involved in something? Do I shoot him? I watched an IED go off in Fallujah, and then I saw one guy hand another guy money and didn’t know if I should shoot him or not. I didn’t, and he got away and we never found him.
The reason we are fighting so many people because of these IEDs is that so many people are being bought out – they are unemployed and need to take care of their families, so they take the money. Or they do it because they are under threat, under the fear that somebody will kill their family. Then there are those families who are entangled in resentments because their mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters have been murdered, illegally detained, or something like that, so they want to get revenge on somebody. All those dynamics replicate themselves. And at the same time, you’re being constantly told, “It’s a religious war;” then, “It’s weapons of mass destruction;” then, “The president wants the oil.”
GCR: Do you feel like you were misled?
Pete: I was misled a lot, about different perspectives of what war is, about what the Marine Corp is. With a lot of orders they tell you to do it and don’t tell you why. It was like they set us up for bait – we had to wait until we were attacked before we could attack. Why do we wait for something like that? Or a scenario like this unfolds: You ask, “Why is this guy detained?” and they say, “Why do you care? You didn’t detain him.” It just goes left unchecked.
GCR: Do you feel like your trust was broken?
Pete: I am going to say no, because I am an optimistic person. And because I defend the Marine Corp. Like when your kid gets into a fight – obviously he was just defending himself. You don’t want to believe your kid started the fight. In the Marine Corp it boils down to the same thing – you weren’t deceived, it was just bad communication. That is the way I think.
GCR: Have you ever struggled with what war is?
Pete: No, I never really thought about it. I just thought whoever dies isn’t part of the war anymore. War is war. It is a common thing. It is something we do in life. Everybody has done it in life – the Trojans, the Aztecs, the German Empire. I don’t think in depth about it.
GCR: People create their identity through their employment, through their family, through their success. How much of your identity is being a Marine?
Pete: I don’t know how I would see myself as not being a Marine. I have thought about computer programming, because I have been interested in computers since I was 13 years old. It is hard to explain the brotherhood of the Marines. It is because we have been through the same things together.
GCR: How has the transition back to civilian life been?
Pete: When you get back from a combat zone, it is difficult.
When you are there, you’re thinking to yourself: I can’t wait to get home, to see my family, friends, barbecue.
But when you actually get home, you’re like, “I don’t know if I want to talk to anybody.” You don’t want to be around a lot of people all at once. You feel crowded in groups. Now though, I am adapting and getting back to normal. But at first it is very difficult, and people have a hard time realizing those difficulties.
GCR: How so?
Pete: Sometimes people overestimate the events and how they affected you, or underestimate how they affected you.
GCR: What is life about now?
Pete: It’s almost like being dropped off in the woods: “All right, do whatever you want.”
I’m an open-minded person. I feel like there is a purpose, but at the same time there isn’t a purpose. Just to make your own life – your own path – you need to step out of your circle and look at your life. We need to reconstruct our lives all the time. A person needs to make their own choices.
Right now I am sitting back and looking at life and deciding on what to do next – whether or not to go back to the Marines, or go to school. I want to go to school, stay here and be part of my daughter’s life and be able to provide for her. But with the economy, it is difficult. I want to go to school, but it is difficult. I just want to do something that benefits me and my daughter. I want to be able to make those steps in the right direction. My stress comes from making those decisions.
GCR: Whatever path you choose, we wish you the best of luck. Thanks, Pete.
Ellie