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lagrand
04-09-08, 11:32 AM
I walked into my second period classroom and my teacher had a visitor standing with him. The visitor went on to introduce himself as a Marine who had just gotten back from a 15 month deployment to Iraq as an MP. The discussion we had was very engaging and I was enjoying up until the "inevitable question" was asked...

"Did you ever get to kill someone?"

Ironically, the kid who asked the question looked straight at me. I stared back at him and shook my head letting him know that was not the right question to ask to ask a war vet. Meanwhile, the Marine responded respectfully but firmly with a "Yes" then went on to answer other questions.

My question to everyone on the forum is what are your thoughts on being asked this question? I've heard from many that it is very innappropriate and that they would, without a doubt, put this unknowledgable high school student in his place. I would like to hear from you all what your thoughts are on this. I appreciate your feedback and God bless.

Edit: Before I get chastised, I am not in school right now as we had early release.

Jonny Destroyer
04-09-08, 11:49 AM
I walked into my second period classroom and my teacher had a visitor standing with him. The visitor went on to introduce himself as a Marine who had just gotten back from a 15 month deployment to Iraq as an MP. The discussion we had was very engaging and I was enjoying up until the "inevitable question" was asked...

"Did you ever get to kill someone?"

Ironically, the kid who asked the question looked straight at me. I stared back at him and shook my head letting him know that was not the right question to ask to ask a war vet. Meanwhile, the Marine responded respectfully but firmly with a "Yes" then went on to answer other questions.

My question to everyone on the forum is what are your thoughts on being asked this question? I've heard from many that it is very innappropriate and that they would, without a doubt, put this unknowledgable high school student in his place. I would like to hear from you all what your thoughts are on this. I appreciate your feedback and God bless.

Edit: Before I get chastised, I am not in school right now as we had early release.

Honestly, thats not something a Marine likes to be asked if he's been overseas, because 1) He's probably heard it a million times before, and 2) He might not have been comfortable with killing anyone, or he might of had to kill a woman or child. Its just something you shouldnt bring up. A lot of Marines arent comfortable talking about their war experiences with civilians.

-CPL Maines:usmc:

mrbsox
04-09-08, 11:51 AM
My question to everyone on the forum is what are your thoughts on being asked this question? I've heard from many that it is very innappropriate and that they would, without a doubt, put this unknowledgable high school student in his place. I would like to hear from you all what your thoughts are on this. I appreciate your feedback and God bless.


I will CAREFULLY try to start this off, from a NON-COMBAT vets point of view.

My reply would be YES, it is OK to ask.

And I think the straight short answer was the best, 'YES', and go on to another subject.

The Marine will have to (and probably already has) asked himself that very question. And he has to live with the answer. If he can live with it in public, then he can live with it in private.

If he cannot live with it, then he has other questions to answer, and should seek those answers thru what ever professional arenas are deemed necessary.

Once again, I never had to answer that question to myself or anyone else, so mine is a one sided response. But I also think it is open minded and realistic.

drwilkinson
04-09-08, 12:00 PM
I don't know why it's anybody's business whether or not you killed someone. I woudn't answer the question regardless.

Ryan1234
04-09-08, 12:13 PM
I just thing its bad to ask that because now a lot of people are suffering from PTSD and having someone ask them if they killed someone might bring terrible memories and distraught thoughts to the Combat Vet. I mean its like asking a Senior how old they are except in a more extreme form.

NeedSomePT
04-09-08, 12:34 PM
I don't mean to hijack the thread, but I've always heard that Marines get 7 month deployments, especially from my recruiters. Did he volunteer to stay longer or am I not being told all the facts by my recruiters and other people I've tlaked to?

dmdenike
04-09-08, 01:09 PM
I don't mean to hijack the thread, but I've always heard that Marines get 7 month deployments, especially from my recruiters. Did he volunteer to stay longer or am I not being told all the facts by my recruiters and other people I've tlaked to?


They vary. Depends on your unit and sometimes your MOS.

Camper51
04-09-08, 01:10 PM
I don't mean to hijack the thread, but I've always heard that Marines get 7 month deployments, especially from my recruiters. Did he volunteer to stay longer or am I not being told all the facts by my recruiters and other people I've tlaked to?

Then shut up and don't hijack the thread. Post a new thread with the question you want answered...

Camper51
04-09-08, 01:15 PM
As to the original question. NO it would not be polite to ask, however some people have a morbid curiosity and cannot help themselves.

Why would you possibly want to know that answer? Does it make the Marine feel like a killer to you?

What possible use would the answer be to you, except to satisfy a morbid curiosity? Would you ask the same question of your local policeman? Your local politician who went to a war zone on a fact finding mission?

You are correct in assuming that it would be an inappropriate question. The Marine, to his credit, chose to answer and go on...

Twitchell
04-09-08, 01:54 PM
My nephew when he was in third grade asked me to come to his career day, where a parent, or family member comes and talk's about they're work. I went in my blue's, and all the kids were mistified cause it was a small town and none of these kids had even seen a Marine in person before.
Well, I got the same question. "I think the poolee was right about the inevitable part". I looked at the teacher with a, (should I answer, type of look). I said no, but if my answer would have been yes, would some kid go home telling his mom he met a killer today or something, freakin out? This after all was a bunch of third graders. You can't really blame the kid either though. He probably did'nt know the question was inapropriate.

I think it's an inapropriate question, but everyone that ask's that question may not realize it is inapropriate. I think the yes/no answer is probably the best and move onto another question.

rvillac2
04-09-08, 02:03 PM
It should be noted that anyone answering that question eagerly and enthusiastically should set off your BS detector. The guys that don't talk about it much and/or downplay that part of their service are the real professionals.

Zulu 36
04-09-08, 02:31 PM
I was asked that question a lot as a police officer dealing with school children. Probably the only other question asked more often was, "Can you show us your gun?" The best answer is an honest answer and move on. Kids, including teenagers, are curious about these things. That's life (and death).

The rude question would be, "Did you enjoy killing people?"

crazymjb
04-09-08, 07:53 PM
If you are going to give a presentation, I think you should be prepared to answer all reasonable questions. For example, my recruiter gave a presentation to my ethics class on war. Being a senior highschool class we didn't have any issues of immaturity, but a question regarding his personal experience would not have been unreasonable. No, it didn't come up.

That said, I don't think it really needs to be asked with no relation to a subject being discussed, IE, just out of morbid curiousity.

Mike

FeMzZ
04-09-08, 08:36 PM
Im not taking sides here but whatever happened to all the "Get Sooooome!" and Gun Ho guys? My friend uncle was in Vietnam, he is one of the most motivated MArines i have ever met. He isnt very excited about his experiences and doesnt really brag, but when he tells stories i can see he is getting pumped and he says he does not regret joining the Corps and going to War and "taking the lives of the enemies to defend his fellow Americans". IDK i am just saying, its very different, it seems most military fighters are contempt about discussing thjeir experiences while others reflect and are Gun Ho all over again

lagrand
04-09-08, 08:39 PM
I don't mean to hijack the thread, but I've always heard that Marines get 7 month deployments, especially from my recruiters. Did he volunteer to stay longer or am I not being told all the facts by my recruiters and other people I've tlaked to?

He volunteered to extend his tour of duty.

lagrand
04-09-08, 08:53 PM
Thank you for all of your responses. I can understand that a lot of it is out of morbid curiosity or that they are just oblivious to the fact that is may be disrespectful and/or innappropriate. The part that irritated me was when he smiled/laughed when he asked and when his question was answered. I believe he felt as though it was a laughing matter. If a Marine takes time out of his busy schedule to come share his experiences with a group of students, I personally believe that topic should be taboo unless offered up by the Marine him/herself. I appreciate the feedback.

Patriot34
04-10-08, 07:26 AM
Im not taking sides here but whatever happened to all the "Get Sooooome!" and Gun Ho guys? My friend uncle was in Vietnam, he is one of the most motivated MArines i have ever met. He isnt very excited about his experiences and doesnt really brag, but when he tells stories i can see he is getting pumped and he says he does not regret joining the Corps and going to War and "taking the lives of the enemies to defend his fellow Americans". IDK i am just saying, its very different, it seems most military fighters are contempt about discussing thjeir experiences while others reflect and are Gun Ho all over again

I believe all soldiers are different when they come back from combat. Some don't seem different but they hurt on the inside. Some you can see that the war(s) are a very touchy subject. Combat is something that no one likes to be in or take part in. My great grandfather (he's 91) just started talking about WWII openly. It is still a very touchy subject for him and some other Vietnam vets and Korean vets that are in my family. I never bring the war(s) up.

Hendrix
04-10-08, 11:10 PM
It seems to be different for everyone. Just as with you Patriot, my grandfather has just started to talk about his experiences during Vietnam. It is obviously a very touchy subject, and as many have said in this thread, is inappropriate to ask a veteran of any war

LeonardLawrence
04-12-08, 10:19 AM
Some thoughts. I have heard this question before and still think it is rude on a personal level. With that said, it doesn't offend me. I also temper in the fact that there is a morbid curiousity to the question and that I represent 232 years of Rompin' Stompin to someone for those few minutes, at least.

I take a look at the question. Something like "Have you ever gotten to kill someone" seems a bit harsher and more voyeuristic to me than "have you ever had to kill someone in performance of your duties?". I always answer the question honestly, but try to temper it with the answer that sometimes there is a necessity to such things. By doing this, I hope in my mind, that I am educating someone that while there is an ugly side, it isn't as glorious, pumped up, or as voyeuristic as it was when they asked. Maybe it will spare someone else from hearing the question, who knows.

My experience is when a vet wants to talk, shut up and listen, but don't go prying too hard about personal experiences at first.

rambHOE
04-12-08, 11:06 AM
My grandpa never talked about the Korean war. Only thing I ever heard him say about the war before he died was when we were watching M*A*S*H* and he walked by the TV and said "Those were not places for comedy" and walked away.

Theres a retired teacher at my school who came in to talk about is experiences in Vietnam, and right off he said, "If you ask me if I killed or shot anyone, I will ignore you and move on to the next question". When he found out I intended on joining the Marines he started talking to me about the military and he just kinda kept talking and I found out 2 weeks before he was supposed to leave Vietnam, his platoon walked right into an ambush and he was one of the few lucky ones.

davblay
04-12-08, 11:15 AM
I walked into my second period classroom and my teacher had a visitor standing with him. The visitor went on to introduce himself as a Marine who had just gotten back from a 15 month deployment to Iraq as an MP. The discussion we had was very engaging and I was enjoying up until the "inevitable question" was asked...

"Did you ever get to kill someone?"

Ironically, the kid who asked the question looked straight at me. I stared back at him and shook my head letting him know that was not the right question to ask to ask a war vet. Meanwhile, the Marine responded respectfully but firmly with a "Yes" then went on to answer other questions.

My question to everyone on the forum is what are your thoughts on being asked this question? I've heard from many that it is very innappropriate and that they would, without a doubt, put this unknowledgable high school student in his place. I would like to hear from you all what your thoughts are on this. I appreciate your feedback and God bless.

Edit: Before I get chastised, I am not in school right now as we had early release.

As a part of my recruiting mission for the Army, I had to teach High school, or middle school students for one day each year in every school in my area of operation. That was over 35 schools. It was a PR thing in the 80s around here and I enjoyed it for the most part. I taught filling out job applications and writing resume's.

Wearing the Army uniform I wore my "I love me ribbons" on my shirt as well as in my Blouse, so that question was always, without a doubt asked of me in every class during the day.

Me knowing the mentality of these fine teenagers, I simply answered that I, as all other service men in combat, did my job, whatever that may have been. I never dwelled on the subject and I moved on with the class. Between classes there were only 5 minutes for them to get to thier next class and the subject was generally dropped. If some of them wanted to discuss my Combat roll I made appointments with them in my office at a later date. I enlisted a few people that way, I might add.

Now is it appropriate.....well that depends on the curiousity of the individual person asking it. Could I have made a spectical of the situation? Of course I could. But I didn't, I gave a generic answer that any serviceman could live with, and told the truth at the same time!

If you are ever fortunate, or unfortunate, enough to be close to several Veterans talking about the war, you will see that it is easier to chat amongst people that have been there and done that, so to speak. War and Combat, is not pretty! It is not glorious, and there are no winners, except the people that own the companies that make the weapons and ammo for the war! All the participants are the victims, in one way or another.

So the Marine answered in a very professional manner and is to be commended!

Semper Fi,

Dave

FeMzZ
04-12-08, 01:10 PM
i wouldnt consider it disrespectful

the military appeals to young kids ecause of the different experience you get as a combat soldier. how many highschool kids can say they were in combat and actually fought the enemy? they are curious, as am i, and hearing stories about the experiences of combat SOMETIMES is fun. LAst year my U.S. history teacher was an ex-cop(narcotics) and everyone begged him to tell us stories because they were experiences we've never had before. And the stories were always great....except combat soldiers have better stories :D

VIKDEM1ZE
04-12-08, 01:14 PM
I wouldn't enjoy answering the question, but I don't find it wrong or disrespectful that someone would ask. I've always been interested before I signed with the Military.