thedrifter
04-05-08, 03:57 AM
Marines’ mission: Save our marriages
Corps offers help to couples strained by war
By CHELSEA J. CARTER - The Associated Press
EL SEGUNDO, Calif. — Fighting in Iraq took a heavy toll on Marine Lance Cpl. Daniel Patrick, damaging his hand, injuring his brain and causing him to suffer post-traumatic stress disorder.
But Patrick’s body wasn’t the only thing hurt by combat. His relationship with his wife was wounded, too. The couple got married shortly after he returned, yet Patrick refused to talk to her about the war. Sometimes he yelled at her.
So the pair marked their first anniversary last weekend at a Marine Corps retreat that took a decidedly unmilitary approach to saving marriages — combining classes in communication with massage therapy, yoga and meditation.
It’s an effort by the military to ease the strain on married couples when soldiers return to civilian life after long, repeated deployments.
Navy Chaplain Dwight Horn came up with the idea after returning from Fallujah, where he witnessed some of the fiercest fighting in the war.
“We’re seeing some warriors having a hard time readjusting ... and their spouses are confused by it,” said Horn, who also had trouble readjusting.
The first-of-its kind program is called “Warrior Couple Readjustment Retreat.” Joining the Patricks were 12 other couples, mostly wounded Marines and their spouses from Camp Pendleton.
Pentagon statistics show the divorce rate in the military holding steady at 3.3 percent, but the numbers say nothing about troubled marriages.
Sitting in a conference room at a Los Angeles-area hotel, Navy Corpsman Aaron Seibert, 35, and his wife listen to a therapist encouraging couples to open up to one another. The couples discuss the emotional distance military duty and, in some cases, combat injuries have put between them.
Robin Seibert, 38, knows the frustration that comes with a military marriage. But nothing prepared her for her husband’s three consecutive deployments, including the one that ended in April 2006 when a mortar round riddled his body with 100 pieces of shrapnel.
“I was thinking first, ‘Is he going to live?’ Then it was, ‘Is he going to recover?’ Then it was, ‘What are we going to do? Is he going to have a job?’” she said.
Meanwhile, Aaron Seibert, of Riverton, Wyo., was battling the mood swings of post-traumatic stress.
Later in a dimly lit room, Seibert learns to give his wife a foot rub from a massage therapist. Across the room, Patrick massages his wife, Samantha, modifying the technique because his damaged left hand is still in a brace.
The massage lessons are designed to help couples relax with each other.
Patrick, wounded in Fallujah in November 2006, was skeptical about yoga, with its “Spandex and funny music.” But he was willing to try anything to preserve his relationship with his wife.
“Now that I am getting help, things are a little better,” he said.
Ellie
Corps offers help to couples strained by war
By CHELSEA J. CARTER - The Associated Press
EL SEGUNDO, Calif. — Fighting in Iraq took a heavy toll on Marine Lance Cpl. Daniel Patrick, damaging his hand, injuring his brain and causing him to suffer post-traumatic stress disorder.
But Patrick’s body wasn’t the only thing hurt by combat. His relationship with his wife was wounded, too. The couple got married shortly after he returned, yet Patrick refused to talk to her about the war. Sometimes he yelled at her.
So the pair marked their first anniversary last weekend at a Marine Corps retreat that took a decidedly unmilitary approach to saving marriages — combining classes in communication with massage therapy, yoga and meditation.
It’s an effort by the military to ease the strain on married couples when soldiers return to civilian life after long, repeated deployments.
Navy Chaplain Dwight Horn came up with the idea after returning from Fallujah, where he witnessed some of the fiercest fighting in the war.
“We’re seeing some warriors having a hard time readjusting ... and their spouses are confused by it,” said Horn, who also had trouble readjusting.
The first-of-its kind program is called “Warrior Couple Readjustment Retreat.” Joining the Patricks were 12 other couples, mostly wounded Marines and their spouses from Camp Pendleton.
Pentagon statistics show the divorce rate in the military holding steady at 3.3 percent, but the numbers say nothing about troubled marriages.
Sitting in a conference room at a Los Angeles-area hotel, Navy Corpsman Aaron Seibert, 35, and his wife listen to a therapist encouraging couples to open up to one another. The couples discuss the emotional distance military duty and, in some cases, combat injuries have put between them.
Robin Seibert, 38, knows the frustration that comes with a military marriage. But nothing prepared her for her husband’s three consecutive deployments, including the one that ended in April 2006 when a mortar round riddled his body with 100 pieces of shrapnel.
“I was thinking first, ‘Is he going to live?’ Then it was, ‘Is he going to recover?’ Then it was, ‘What are we going to do? Is he going to have a job?’” she said.
Meanwhile, Aaron Seibert, of Riverton, Wyo., was battling the mood swings of post-traumatic stress.
Later in a dimly lit room, Seibert learns to give his wife a foot rub from a massage therapist. Across the room, Patrick massages his wife, Samantha, modifying the technique because his damaged left hand is still in a brace.
The massage lessons are designed to help couples relax with each other.
Patrick, wounded in Fallujah in November 2006, was skeptical about yoga, with its “Spandex and funny music.” But he was willing to try anything to preserve his relationship with his wife.
“Now that I am getting help, things are a little better,” he said.
Ellie