PTSD comparison

[egbutler1]

I am diagnosed with PTSD and rated at 50% on the first go around. Well I was wondering if these symptoms are common cause its really ****in me off. First out of many, is that I have become unreliable which aggravates me because this is unlike myself. Which brings me to another ‘symptom’ of being angry all the time I will go off on people for reasons unknown to me. They can just say one word or sentence or do something very insignificant and I will go off the wall. I can’t seem to want to get myself out of the house or be around anybody. I have no friends (other than my marine buddies that I can talk “Marine” with), I keep myself out of just about every situation I can think of by coming up with excuse sometimes even becoming violently ill thinking about doing something as simple as going to a restaurant. Also my short term memory is completely shot I forget stuff im attempting to do or where I parked my car. Which in turn ****es me off I was at the mall the other day and had to leave cause of the crowed of people and went out to find my car and well I wondered the parking lot till the mall cop pulled me over and said I looked like I was going to break into a car. I lost it. Apparently I go nuts sometimes at night and my wife says I get this complete blank look on my face and she cant snap me out of it for awhile. Dreams are horrible visions of death and slow-motion replays of m time in Iraq. Sleep is a rarity the VA has me on ambien but I don’t want to get hooked on it so I only take it once and awhile and even than I only sleep for like 4 hours. My normal night consists of TV leatherneck.com and xbox till about 04-05, than I go to lay next to my wife and sit there staring at the ceiling thinking about Iraq, marines that have been lost or even about someone breaking into my house and the ways i could dispatch them to hell. Many times i have found myself "patrolling" the perimeter of my house cause i'm paranoid. Finally after sometimes 2 hours of that I just crash. Than I wake up and the damn process starts all over again. Also I haven’t been able to stop taking like 15 showers a day for like almost the last 2 years, counting steps according to my pace count and stupid little **** like that. I can’t talk about the **** that happened over there to my wife and she understands but I want to but its so freaking hard to explain to someone who hasn’t been there. There is so much more but those are the basics and now my fingers hurt from typing lol. So I know it’s a lot to take in Marines but if you have been diagnosed with PTSD could you let me know if any of these match your ‘symptoms’? It’d much appreciated.
Cpl. Butler (0311 EAS 07/21/2006)

[egbutler1]

Oops my 5 mins where up to edit it. But i have been working with the VA and counslers for 1.5 years and it only seems to be getting worse and it feels like the VA just wants to medicate me to death with powerful drugs that make me feel like a tranquilized Lion.

[Jim Oliver]

egbutler,

There are other things for PTSD.

There is desensitization along with medications.

One medication is Inderal. It is cardiac drug,(Beta Blocker).

I don't know what the drugs are that they want to use but do something.

I am in the Guard with a psychologist who specializes in PTSD. Has for 25 years. She works for the VA in Baltimore, Md.

I have PTSD and what really bothered me most was not knowing why I was acting as you are. So, I understand what you are going through.

I didn't say I KNOW what you are going through, becausse I'm not you.

But I do understand.

The symptoms do get worse before they get better.

What medications are you on for this?