thedrifter
03-20-08, 09:29 AM
Marine's dad worries as he supports son, war in Iraq
March 20, 2008
Today we meet Tom Smiley, 45, of Chicago Ridge. He is the father of James Smiley, 20, a Marine in between tours in Iraq. This is his story.
Jimmy came to me a few months before his 18th birthday and asked if he could join the Marines.
Being a Gulf War veteran, it didn't bother me. My wife, Sandra, wasn't digging it too much. I'm a military guy. If you want to do it, you should do it.
Jimmy and I sat down. I told him about everything he was getting into. Sometimes, when you go to the recruiter, you watch a film and think everything is great. I wanted to make sure he knew and understood everything. I didn't want to hear him complain.
You still worry. As a parent, you don't want to see your child go. I tried to be gung-ho, but it was really hard when he left.
Has he ever regretted his decision? He worries. But one thing about the Marines: They are tough. They don't scare easily. He is worried when he's driving down the road and getting attacked. There is no way to defend himself.
My son is a mortar guy, a good Marine.
Believe it or not, we communicate through Facebook and MySpace. I have my own Facebook and MySpace accounts. My daughter set them up for me. When I was in the military, we wrote letters.
You can tell when something happens over there. They shut down all communication. We won't hear from him for weeks.
It's weird, though. The more you hear from him, the more you worry. You worry about him more because he's always on your mind. I always worry about the chaplain knocking on the door if I don't hear from him for a while.
Jimmy had a little bit of temper. I thought that would hurt him. I thought he might snap at somebody.
But he has grown up a lot. He has grown up a whole lot. My wife won't let any of the kids use her car. But when Jimmy came home on leave, she let him use it.
He just looks a lot older.
Being in the military, I know the progression that happens in a young man. To see it happen with your own kid is really amazing.
I read the magazines from the American Legion and the Veterans of Foreign Wars. Every month there are stories about tough battles and soldiers coming home wounded or psychologically damaged.
If he gets into some bad stuff, will it affect him? He's a tough kid, but I don't know. You can get over the physical injuries. The mental stuff is different.
The hardest part happens when you are no longer a soldier. When you are one, sometimes you complain about always being told what to do. But when you're not one anymore, you miss that direction. And you miss the camaraderie with your friends. It's a completely different lifestyle.
My beliefs on the war?
I support whatever the government wants. If I could go back, I would go in a heartbeat. Part of me wishes I was with him.
The criticism of the war bothers Jimmy. He doesn't like when people talk bad about what he's doing. He's proud of what he's doing.
It bothers me a whole lot. Don't get down on the guys who are there. Don't make them the bad guys. There are lots of good things that are happening in Iraq. Lots of schools are going up. Sewers are getting built.
He bought me a tattoo when he came home on leave. He knew I always wanted one. It is on my right arm. It shows both of our military units.
It is something that will never go away.
This is Tom Smiley's story, as told to SouthtownStar staff writer Guy Tridgell, who can be reached at gtridgell@southtownstar.com or (708) 633-5970.
Ellie
March 20, 2008
Today we meet Tom Smiley, 45, of Chicago Ridge. He is the father of James Smiley, 20, a Marine in between tours in Iraq. This is his story.
Jimmy came to me a few months before his 18th birthday and asked if he could join the Marines.
Being a Gulf War veteran, it didn't bother me. My wife, Sandra, wasn't digging it too much. I'm a military guy. If you want to do it, you should do it.
Jimmy and I sat down. I told him about everything he was getting into. Sometimes, when you go to the recruiter, you watch a film and think everything is great. I wanted to make sure he knew and understood everything. I didn't want to hear him complain.
You still worry. As a parent, you don't want to see your child go. I tried to be gung-ho, but it was really hard when he left.
Has he ever regretted his decision? He worries. But one thing about the Marines: They are tough. They don't scare easily. He is worried when he's driving down the road and getting attacked. There is no way to defend himself.
My son is a mortar guy, a good Marine.
Believe it or not, we communicate through Facebook and MySpace. I have my own Facebook and MySpace accounts. My daughter set them up for me. When I was in the military, we wrote letters.
You can tell when something happens over there. They shut down all communication. We won't hear from him for weeks.
It's weird, though. The more you hear from him, the more you worry. You worry about him more because he's always on your mind. I always worry about the chaplain knocking on the door if I don't hear from him for a while.
Jimmy had a little bit of temper. I thought that would hurt him. I thought he might snap at somebody.
But he has grown up a lot. He has grown up a whole lot. My wife won't let any of the kids use her car. But when Jimmy came home on leave, she let him use it.
He just looks a lot older.
Being in the military, I know the progression that happens in a young man. To see it happen with your own kid is really amazing.
I read the magazines from the American Legion and the Veterans of Foreign Wars. Every month there are stories about tough battles and soldiers coming home wounded or psychologically damaged.
If he gets into some bad stuff, will it affect him? He's a tough kid, but I don't know. You can get over the physical injuries. The mental stuff is different.
The hardest part happens when you are no longer a soldier. When you are one, sometimes you complain about always being told what to do. But when you're not one anymore, you miss that direction. And you miss the camaraderie with your friends. It's a completely different lifestyle.
My beliefs on the war?
I support whatever the government wants. If I could go back, I would go in a heartbeat. Part of me wishes I was with him.
The criticism of the war bothers Jimmy. He doesn't like when people talk bad about what he's doing. He's proud of what he's doing.
It bothers me a whole lot. Don't get down on the guys who are there. Don't make them the bad guys. There are lots of good things that are happening in Iraq. Lots of schools are going up. Sewers are getting built.
He bought me a tattoo when he came home on leave. He knew I always wanted one. It is on my right arm. It shows both of our military units.
It is something that will never go away.
This is Tom Smiley's story, as told to SouthtownStar staff writer Guy Tridgell, who can be reached at gtridgell@southtownstar.com or (708) 633-5970.
Ellie