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Phantom Blooper
02-21-08, 05:59 AM
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDM first, sir.
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is shee-han@home.net. Which number are you calling from sir?
Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?
Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
Customer: The HSS, what is that?
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.
Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
Customer: Whaddya mean?
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit
Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.
Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge.
Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New
Constitution prohibits this.
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.

:evilgrin:

PatriotGirl422
02-21-08, 10:07 AM
Yeah I wouldn't doubt it.

OB MSG
02-21-08, 10:13 AM
This was sent around my office the other day. It's good for a laugh, but scary if you think about where we could be heading.

http://aclu.org/pizza/images/screen.swf

jrhd97
02-21-08, 06:38 PM
Scary stuff.

mike christy
02-21-08, 08:56 PM
Sad fact is 98% of the people probably think it is a joke or a bad plot for a science fiction movie.

I just hope that my garden and trap lines don't become illegal.

SlingerDun
02-21-08, 09:11 PM
what's disturbing is would be control freaks like Larry Ellison who is willing to donate his company's resources to establish this bird dogging high tech dog tag.

http://www.templetons.com/brad/oracard.html

jrhd97
02-21-08, 09:25 PM
Sad fact is 98% of the people probably think it is a joke or a bad plot for a science fiction movie.

I just hope that my garden and trap lines don't become illegal.
Your garden will be illegal since they can't regulate and tax the produce you grow. Your trap line will be outlawed because it is to cruel, and again, they can't regulate it or tax it.
Boy doesn't this give you something to look forward to :sick::mad:

mike christy
02-21-08, 09:41 PM
Thanks Andy you just made me :cry:, 104 acres for a back yard, I'll keep 'em searching for awhile:banana: