Want to be married??...

[MrsAlexander08]

My fiancee is enlisted in the USMC and our wedding date was set for June 6th 2008. But his Recruiter told him there was no gaurantees that he would be home by that date so we moved it up to Feb 15th, about 1 month before he's suppossed to be shipping out. They knew this, but now they are telling him that being married before he goes in might make it harder for him to GET in. I dont understand. What difference does it make if we are married before he goes in or not? Its going to happen. I've changed the date and plans now TWICE to make it easier on everyone, but me. They told us this today, ONE week before the date. So now they are telling him to wait until after he swears in, about 3 days before he leaves, to get married. Now Im suppossed to call everyone and cancel. I just need help understanding the problem. Why is it suppossedly "harder" for a man to join the Marines if he is married, than if he just had a fiancee? I just dont see the logic anywhere. Please, someone clue me in.

[hrscowboy]

Because theres alot of paperwork that has to be done if he is married. The buttom line is WAIT until he finishes Boot Camp and graduates then set the date when he gets his first leave..

[LeonardLawrence]

It matters because you will be a dependent as a wife in the eyes of the military.

Other option may be to hold your ceremony...and save the civil paperwork (the official marriage) until it works with your fiance's plan....just a thought. You get your ceremony with minimal changes and get married on Corps-Time.

Good luck to you both.

[davblay]

Do you love him? Does he love you? If the answer to these questions are yes........then wait until he gets home on boot camp leave or just get married anyway and see what happens! What you, and he, have to ask yourself is this.......Am I willing to take the risk?

Without knowing the whole story, plus the fact that you haven't filled out your profile yet, we can't possibly give you any other advice on this. There are a lot of variables here......are you fiancially able to survive without him for 3 to 5 months, or more? Are you willing to be alone for that time he'll be away, right after you get married? Do you understand that you can't go with him until he gets to his first perm duty station, or MOS school if it's a long one? Are you going to be able to support him with your letters while he's away, keeping him motivated? Do you have someplace to stay while he's away? Are you considering all the options of marriage at this point? Ma'am, the "ARE YOU" type questions can go on all evening, get my point?

It sounds like you and he have thought this thru quiet a bit, but have you considered all the options? Unless you, or he, are from a wealthy family, you are gonna find life as a Marine wife a lonley, lonely world, with little to no extra money. The expense of living, even on base, is a hardship for Marines under the rank of Cpl (E-4). Plus the Marine spends a lot of time in the field during his first 18 months to 2 years, oh and then there that dreaded deployment. I realize you are thinking "we are in love and we can do it", but please consider all options before you step into a world that is new to you. I have seen way to many Marines and soldiers, step into a marriage before they were ready, and it ended in disaster! He will have to have his complete mind on his duty, it could mean the life or death of his fellow Marines. You can't undo a mistake in Combat!

I know I have given a long reply, but until you finish your profile and give us more to go on,,,,,,,well you get the idea. I see that you are still young, I assume he is to, so think about it hard, will you?

[SlingerDun]

I've changed the date and plans now TWICE to make it easier on everyone, but meuuggghhh you know what......oh never mind, your plans will be subject to alot of change as a Marine spouse.

[CHOPPER7199]

well said Dave. thats just the start. Think young lady about what has been said. Hope you make the right choices. Good luck

[Parker-0321]

The buttom line is WAIT until he finishes Boot Camp and graduates then set the date when he gets his first leave..

yea then you could marry a Marine in Dress Blues, ain't nothing better looking than blues :marine: