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teufelhund727
01-19-08, 06:44 AM
I have been married to my husband for going on 6 years. He is currently in his second enlistment and just picked up Sgt. We have 2 young children and he just returned from his third deployment in Iraq. He is now being stationed on a reserve base in Ga...Non-deployable for 3 years. (no guarantees of course....but hopefully it works out.) I have wanted to join the service since I was a teenager and now after much discussion with my husband and weighing the pros and cons have decided (tentatively) to enlist in the marine corps. I have spoken with a recruiter and have been "guaranteed" (ha-ha I don't think the marine corps knows the meaning of that word) a job in the CB field--admin. Our rationalization is that no matter what base he gets stationed on--there is always a need for admin. We have been told by numerous people in the Marine Corps that they are very good about stationing you within 50 miles of eachother. I just wanted to hear from someone who has maybe been through this. The only cons that have come up in our conversations have been the fact that I will be gone from my girls for the 13 weeks of boot camp, and then A school. And any subsequent deployments of course, but like I said he should be home for the next 3 years. Then there's the chance that we may end up on different sides of the country. He works in aviation mechanics, and as I said, I am choosing the admin field in hopes that this will keep us stationed close together if not on the same base. Any opinions?

thewookie
01-19-08, 07:13 AM
The whole thing sounds reasonable, however make your sure heart is in the right place or you could be misrable. I mean don't join just so you can be near each other because there's a good chance that at some point your plan may not execute like you want. What happens if the Corps want you on the west coast and they want him on the east coast? It's not impossible or unlikely. Trust me it's not always going to be biscuits and gravy with you both in. And will you still have the same amount of enthusiasms to be a Marine then? I think you need to think long a hard about the negative consequences a little more. I think your plan is reasonable and admirable but I caution you on the reality of it. Because nothing, NOTHING in the Corps is exactly like you expect or predict.

teufelhund727
01-19-08, 08:32 AM
Thank you for that. I am not joining just so we can be together. Again, this is something I have wanted for a long time. I understand that there are no guarantees. And if we are seperated, it will suck, but we'll make it through. Just like we have these last 3 deployments. I was just hoping to hear of anyone who knew someone who is dual military, and some input from them. I am scheduled to go to MEPS on Monday. After all, if we find out it doesn't work for us, it's only 4 years. And I'll have had a chance to fulfill one of my dreams. NOt to mention the free schooling and training. And it's a guaranteed 4 year job. All in all it's a smart family decision for the time being. I think, anyway. We'll just keep our fingers crossed that what everyone says is true. They try and keep you within 50 miles....

PatriotGirl422
01-19-08, 01:50 PM
Just remember that once you're in, you're in. Being a civilian, if your husband gets stationed on the east coast, you can pretty easily just pick up and follow him. You wouldn't have that freedom if you were also a Marine. There is also a very real possibility and likelihood that you may get deployed. Just because your husband is non-deployable for 3 years doesn't mean that you won't be. The most important thing to think about is your two children. You said that you have two young children together, and you have to think about what is best for them. Yes, it is great to follow your dreams, but once you have children you have to make them your priority.

Cash2053
01-19-08, 04:26 PM
Which reserve base are you referring to in Ga. If you are referring to NAS Atlanta, he might be deployed. I was there for six years. One unit did three tours in afghan. and one in Iraq. I just assumed it would be NAS Atlanta considering his mos and the units that are there. I just remembered it is on the brac list though, so maybe not.

teufelhund727
01-19-08, 06:56 PM
Which reserve base are you referring to in Ga. If you are referring to NAS Atlanta, he might be deployed. I was there for six years. One unit did three tours in afghan. and one in Iraq. I just assumed it would be NAS Atlanta considering his mos and the units that are there. I just remembered it is on the brac list though, so maybe not.


We are going to Dobbins AFB in Marietta, GA. He will be with HMLA 773 which is on the inbound from Iraq sometime in the next month or 2. But they are on the brac list, and we think they will be moved to Macon, not sure yet. Just the rumors from his NCOIC down there. Their rotation is supposed to be every 2 to 3 years, but we'll see. All in all, we have spoken with several dual active duty members and all of them have said that they were stationed within 50 miles of eachother with the occasional deployment.

teufelhund727
01-19-08, 07:06 PM
Just remember that once you're in, you're in. Being a civilian, if your husband gets stationed on the east coast, you can pretty easily just pick up and follow him. You wouldn't have that freedom if you were also a Marine. There is also a very real possibility and likelihood that you may get deployed. Just because your husband is non-deployable for 3 years doesn't mean that you won't be. The most important thing to think about is your two children. You said that you have two young children together, and you have to think about what is best for them. Yes, it is great to follow your dreams, but once you have children you have to make them your priority.

I understand that. I don't mind the possibility of being deployed. In some ways I would like to understand better what he has done 3 times already. In some ways I think it would help me relate to him a little better. Without going into too much personal info, this is something that would allow us to get ahead financially and be able to provide a better, more stable and comfortable lifestyle for our girls. Civilian jobs just wouldn't pay the way both of us being in the military would. We've talked about every aspect of this, turned them inside and out, and all in all, this seems to be a wise decision. If it ends up not being what we expected we will have had 4 years to put ourselves in a good position, I will have gained a lot of education and job opportunities, and then I will get out. By the time I finish finish boot camp and school I will have ca. 3 years left. The pros are far outweighing the cons. My children ARE my priority in this matter. Sometimes you have to sacrifice things to make sure things will be better for them in the future. This is one of those cases. They are young enough that 2-3 years from now they won't even remember the fact that I was away from them for a while. I think it will be harder on me being away from them than it will be for them. But in the end, this will be something that will give them more opportunities as they get older and start to develop their own interests. That is our philosophy, anyway. Thank you so much for your feedback.

Cash2053
01-19-08, 08:02 PM
I was with MALS-42 out there. I heard they were possibly moving to macon also with the squadrons. Just rumors though. I deployed with HMLA-773 as an augument. He will enjoy being with the Red Dogs. I left in 2006. If I remember they were in afghanistan in 03,04. In 2005 they were in Iraq also. Those was the tempo for most units though because of current events. Good luck in your decision.

teufelhund727
01-19-08, 09:06 PM
Thanks for that. My husband was just out there and met a couple of the guys with 773. He was told he will love it down there.

Our decision is pretty much made. I was just hoping to find some people who are dual military that can let us know how it worked for them. I don't seem to be seeing too many on here. Oh well, wish us luck. I'm a little nervous about boot camp. Couple of questions....

After MEPS I am supposed to go and finish my contract with the recruiter. on the SOU he said I can pick a "field". Can I not pick 3 MOS's as my top choice? Or what? I am hearing conflicting things. He says I can just be guaranteed the CB field--which is all admin. But there are like 8 MOS's in that field. Someone else told me that I need to pick 3 specific MOS's and put them down in the desired order and then I"ll get one of those 3. Which is it?

Marine84
01-20-08, 06:54 AM
You get to pick the field - whatever the need of the Corps is depends on which one you get so, make sure you pick wisely.

Terald T
01-20-08, 07:14 AM
Being the Spouse of an active duty Marine, you are already in an Elite group,and have my admiration. Sounds like you two have weighed the Pro's and Con's pretty well, and have your priorities in order, follow your heart now. Good Luck! Semper Fi.

Isrowei
01-20-08, 05:53 PM
I take it your children are too young to voice an opinion.

I wonder what'd they say to the prospect of growing up in "family" where both of the parents are deployed. It happens. In fact, it happens quite a bit to dual military families.

If you're placing your dreams above their welfare, I don't think those priorities are in line.

Wyoming
01-20-08, 06:05 PM
I take it your children are too young to voice an opinion.

I wonder what'd they say to the prospect of growing up in "family" where both of the parents are deployed. It happens. In fact, it happens quite a bit to dual military families.

If you're placing your dreams above their welfare, I don't think those priorities are in line.

The above quote is why I hold the LT in such high regard.

teufelhund727
01-20-08, 06:12 PM
I repeat:


Without going into too much personal info, this is something that would allow us to get ahead financially and be able to provide a better, more stable and comfortable lifestyle for our girls. Civilian jobs just wouldn't pay the way both of us being in the military would. We've talked about every aspect of this, turned them inside and out, and all in all, this seems to be a wise decision. If it ends up not being what we expected we will have had 4 years to put ourselves in a good position, I will have gained a lot of education and job opportunities, and then I will get out. By the time I finish finish boot camp and school I will have ca. 3 years left. The pros are far outweighing the cons. My children ARE my priority in this matter. Sometimes you have to sacrifice things to make sure things will be better for them in the future. This is one of those cases.

Isrowei
01-20-08, 08:15 PM
You asked for opinions. This is simply mine.

I understand all about making sacrifices for a chance to make a better life. Especially for my children. But I believe that the greatest influence in a child's life is their parents. I know that my job will sometimes take me away from my children, but I also know that they will always have their mother to guide them, direct them, nurture them, and help them to grow up. Having her there is the only reason I feel the peace to leave and do my duty.

I can't find any potential gain that I could give my child that is worth the sacrifice of having at least one parent in their life at all times.

As I said, this is only my opinion. If it's something you can live with, then go right ahead. Just don't walk in blind. I have the unfortunate position of sometimes telling Marines to do activities that will take them away from their families. Sometimes for a day, sometimes for a few weeks... sometimes for a deployment. And when it comes down to it, when you put on that uniform, that ends my special consideration for you. You're a Marine then and I (and others like me) will expect you to carry out orders just like any other Marine. That means, just like any single, no-kids, not dual-military Marine.

I have three female Marines in my shop that are married to male Marines. One of them has two small children (twins) a little over 2 years old. The other two are recently married and don't have kids yet. For those two, I'm already planning their next duty station so that they deploy. The Marine with kids has a little longer time left on station. But her next duty station will deploy as well. It's part of my job to ensure that.

I don't tell you these things out of meanness. It's simply a matter of fact in this age of deployment cycles. The Commandant has made it expressly clear that he expects every Marine will deploy within their first enlistment. It's a reality you need to expect and be aware of.

In the end it's you and your husband's decision. Good luck with whatever course you choose.

greensideout
01-20-08, 08:51 PM
I take it your children are too young to voice an opinion.

I wonder what'd they say to the prospect of growing up in "family" where both of the parents are deployed. It happens. In fact, it happens quite a bit to dual military families.

If you're placing your dreams above their welfare, I don't think those priorities are in line.

Outstanding post!!! You have shared some wisdom that should be reflected upon before any decision is made. I hope that it will be!

davblay
01-20-08, 09:31 PM
That's why the LT makes the BIG BUCKS!

I concur 100%, well posted LT!

Dave

teufelhund727
01-24-08, 04:35 PM
Thanks for that. I did ask for opinions. And I do want to hear them.

SlingerDun
01-24-08, 05:30 PM
Sometimes you have to sacrifice things to make sure things will be better for them in the future. This is one of those cases.Youngsters dont quite grasp that concept --how old are these girls anyway?-- What they do git is that their mother and or father is gone and thats all that matters, regardless of the pep talks and gifts you garnish them with upon your departures and returns

Your right 4 years is not long for full growns like us but it was when i was a 5 year old urchin seeing one parent killed and the other bucking up and traveling the west on suarees to support us.

Beware: a kid can quit a parent if life with them is intermittent and too much time passes no doubt about it. I've recently observed this phenomenon first hand with nieces and nephews and it doesn't take 4 years.

But you gotta have a life and do what you think is best and time will tell and the kids will understand when they get older.

They will always remember those long periods when they wondered about the wherabouts of their parents, those are vast blank spaces for a child to fill in.

--->Dave

teufelhund727
01-25-08, 08:35 AM
Wow. Ok, so I think we are getting way off base here. People are talking as if I am LEAVING my children. They will be 4 and 2 this year. I will be gone from them for 3-6 months. During A school I will still be able to talk to them daily and see them occasionally. I am not going to be away from them for 4 years. In the meantime, my husband will be with them. So they will have a parent there. If and when I do get deployed, he will most likely still be with them. When I posted this thread, I was hoping to hear from people who are both in and get some feedback as to how it worked for them. In the meantime, I have spoken with several married couples here in Jacksonville that are both in and all of them have said it has worked out. And they love it. So far, I have not seen anyone in here who is in that position and can speak from experience.

Anyway, I have been to MEPS and as of right now I am enlisting in the reserves. Because of my 3 dependents (the Marine Corps somehow considers my husband MY dependent for enlistment purposes) I am not eligible to enlist active duty. So, after my first drill I can put in a package to augment over to active duty, if that is what we decide to do. We have also been considering the ADSW(active duty special worker) option. Right now we are taking things step by step.

The MOS I am trying to get is 4421- legal services specialist. From all of the poeple my husband and I have talked to in that MOS, few of them have ever deployed. Now I know that with the new rule, I will somehow maybe be fapped out somewhere and be deployed, but it is not an MOS that is on any sort of rotation or that deploys frequently. We are talking about being gone from the girls maybe a total of one year by the time all is said and done. My husband has done it and the girls are not emotionally disturbed because of it. And when they do get older and understand what decisions we made and why we made them, I don't think they are going to be wanting to be emancipated or anything. I am putting in 4 years. When the time for reenlistment comes, we will see how things have worked out for us and take a look at how it has impacted our family. Any decisions we make will be based around our family. If it hasn't worked out and we are miserable, I will get out and carry on a civilian life. If my husband decides he wants to get out, I will probably stay in and try to go OCS or something of that sort. But that is 3-4 years from now. For now, we are doing what we think is best for us at this time. When it's time to make those other decisions we will reevaluate.

Thanks again for all your feedback.

thewookie
01-25-08, 09:50 AM
Wow. Ok, so I think we are getting way off base here. People are talking as if I am LEAVING my children. They will be 4 and 2 this year. I will be gone from them for 3-6 months. During A school I will still be able to talk to them daily and see them occasionally. I am not going to be away from them for 4 years. In the meantime, my husband will be with them. So they will have a parent there. If and when I do get deployed, he will most likely still be with them. When I posted this thread, I was hoping to hear from people who are both in and get some feedback as to how it worked for them. In the meantime, I have spoken with several married couples here in Jacksonville that are both in and all of them have said it has worked out. And they love it. So far, I have not seen anyone in here who is in that position and can speak from experience.

Anyway, I have been to MEPS and as of right now I am enlisting in the reserves. Because of my 3 dependents (the Marine Corps somehow considers my husband MY dependent for enlistment purposes) I am not eligible to enlist active duty. So, after my first drill I can put in a package to augment over to active duty, if that is what we decide to do. We have also been considering the ADSW(active duty special worker) option. Right now we are taking things step by step.

The MOS I am trying to get is 4421- legal services specialist. From all of the poeple my husband and I have talked to in that MOS, few of them have ever deployed. Now I know that with the new rule, I will somehow maybe be fapped out somewhere and be deployed, but it is not an MOS that is on any sort of rotation or that deploys frequently. We are talking about being gone from the girls maybe a total of one year by the time all is said and done. My husband has done it and the girls are not emotionally disturbed because of it. And when they do get older and understand what decisions we made and why we made them, I don't think they are going to be wanting to be emancipated or anything. I am putting in 4 years. When the time for reenlistment comes, we will see how things have worked out for us and take a look at how it has impacted our family. Any decisions we make will be based around our family. If it hasn't worked out and we are miserable, I will get out and carry on a civilian life. If my husband decides he wants to get out, I will probably stay in and try to go OCS or something of that sort. But that is 3-4 years from now. For now, we are doing what we think is best for us at this time. When it's time to make those other decisions we will reevaluate.

Thanks again for all your feedback.

Well there you have it, be gone then. I hope it all works out for you and your family. But it sure sounds to me like you'll make a decision based on what you want anyway, so why bother asking us? Oh, I know you wanted to see if you could find someone here in your exact position to give your their experience. However, I somehow sense if anything was negative it doesn't appear to me that you'd listen to anyone anyway, you seem to have made the decision already and you just want or hoped to have someone make you feel better about your decision. One post your thanking us and saying you appreciate the advice and feedback, the next post you getting defensive because someone gave you an opinion, what a classic.

Good luck. You seem to have all the answers or only willing to listen to those who are in your exact position, god knows the rest of us know nothing about anything. Bub bye

teufelhund727
01-25-08, 10:07 AM
I'm sorry you feel that way. I understand alot of the feedback I got was negative. But that does not mean I did not listen to it or take it into consideration. My husband and I discussed some of the issues that were brought up in this thread. And we have made our decision. Not based on what I WANT. If it were up to me I would be a stay at home mom for the rest of my girls' childhood. However, that is no longer an option for us. And having weighed the various pros and cons, we feel we are making the right decision. I did not mean to infer that you have no idea what you are talking about. I'm sorry if it came across that way. I also did not mean to come across as defensive, I was merely trying to point out that we had thought those things through. We are not just jumping into this blindly. And I am not just doing something because it used to be my dream. I think I will do ok in military life because it is something that I have always wanted to do. I was merely trying to use this as a sounding board. So, once again thanks for your feedback. And yes our decision is made. But again, we took into consideration things that were mentioned here and have talked them out. I don't need anyone to make me feel better about our decison. I know what we are doing is right for us.

SGT7477
01-25-08, 12:34 PM
The kids will suffer bigtime at that young age, the time I was in I seen enough broke up marriages if I was in your shoes I myself would never do a thing like that, sorry it sounds negative but it's the truth.

SlingerDun
01-25-08, 10:15 PM
Wow. Ok, so I think we are getting way off base here. Nope, this complex topic has merely been analyzed and disected from various perspectives and believe it or not experience, yep lots of it. You might want to try a Dear Chili letter, if you can tolerate yet another voice of experience.

--->Dave

InfectorOfSouls
02-10-08, 09:50 PM
Dont do it unless you really hate every one who has ever loved you and you have no reason to live.