View Full Version : Why are women the way they are?

06-20-02, 05:28 PM
"Truth means nothing to a women, Delmar."

"Believe me Delmar, a women is the most fiendish
instrument of torture ever devised
to bedevil the days of man."

said Ulysses Everett McGill (George Clooney), in the movie, "O BROTHER, Where Art Thou?"




06-20-02, 06:15 PM

06-20-02, 06:43 PM

Rat Patrol
06-20-02, 06:58 PM
Five Reasons Computers Must Be Female

I. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

II. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

III. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

IV. The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."

V. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

Rat Patrol
08-04-02, 10:05 PM

08-04-02, 10:27 PM
My dog and cat still want to know about the permit

08-04-02, 11:53 PM

Marilyn Monroe, went on Prozac and swore off men. She died shortly afterwards.


08-05-02, 07:41 AM
Prozac just helps us have more sex!:banana:

08-05-02, 08:13 AM
Just making sure you took your Prozac. I know what it does for you.

08-05-02, 08:16 AM
No Bruce, I can't find them...

Do you know where they are?

I bet you put them in the wifes coffee again!!:banana:

08-05-02, 09:39 AM
CAS, I've got some extra ifn ya need em. LOL

08-05-02, 11:32 AM
This might help us understand.:evilgrin:

09-23-02, 10:49 AM
Always trying to control us!

and, and, and, and why do we go along with it?


09-23-02, 12:12 PM
kinda think they be somewhat like us Cook..thinkin they just wanna "get sum"
and have some one to play with exclusively :yes:

09-23-02, 12:16 PM
I think Joe has figured it out...


09-23-02, 12:24 PM
TY Sis, and Congratulations to You and your Marine on yer Anniversary.
" Absences makes the Heart grow fonder" Can't think of Love with more of a Bond than two Marines. Unconditional is the heart of the meaning of Semper Fidelis.

Semper Fi, Colleen

09-23-02, 01:35 PM
I can't resist. Guys are so easy to mess with!


Thank You Joe.
Yes, There is an extra special bond between MARINES. ;)

09-23-02, 03:52 PM
I'm with 0311 - I would not have it any other way.

09-23-02, 05:10 PM
Women are the way they are because....... The men would not want us any other way :D , They like us like that and they know it !!! :yes: :banana:

09-23-02, 05:57 PM
Women are the way they are...cause over the years they have had to deal with their men..LOL.


A woman is in hospital in a coma. Several nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them is washing her private parts and notices that there is a response on the monitor when she touches her.

They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him. "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy, besides it's worth a try. The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room.

After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lines, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurse's race into the room. The husband is standing there and says..............

"I think she choked"


09-23-02, 08:44 PM
But I better not.....

I might get in trouble.....

Besides, I couldn't think of anything funny to say.....

09-23-02, 09:04 PM
"Venus Butterfly" says it fine and the pumpin wiggley Fruit iz a plus 4 the ladys :banana: :yes:
gotta have yer Pooo Tass eee ummm :)

09-23-02, 09:41 PM

09-24-02, 12:00 AM



09-24-02, 12:06 AM
Yeah! Yeah! That's it! That's why I get in trouble alla time!

Now where did we put that pesky charter thing anyway.....

"Uh, Chief...."

09-24-02, 04:00 AM
Not all girls are bad.
Oh, Wait...

Being bad has it's downfalls I quess.
I can't get into the really cool club!

Or are there age restrictions too. HEE HEE

HEY BONES...5 lines!

10-13-02, 05:58 PM
Lioness adopts fifth antelope
Rory Carroll, Africa correspondent
Tuesday October 8, 2002
The Guardian


Kamuniak the dysfunctional lioness has forfeited another meal by adopting her fifth baby oryx this year, an aberration of nature which has baffled wildlife experts.

The young lioness in the Samburu national park in northern Kenay adopted her latest baby at the weekend, a wildlife service warden said yesterday.

Each time Kamuniak, whose name means "the blessed one" in the local Samburu tongue, has tried to protect the antelopes from other predators and allowed the natural mothers to feed them.

Unfortunately for her, one oryx ended up in the belly of a male lion while Kamuniak slept; the others were either rescued by wardens or retrieved by their natural mothers.

The wardens think the latest adoptee, nicknamed Naisimari ("taken by force"), was adopted at the weekend.

"She must have adopted her on Sunday because they are in harmony," said Gabriel Lepariyo, a warden.

Naisimari's natural mother has been seen shadowing the odd couple at a distance.

Theories to explain the phenonemon abound: not having her own cubs, Kamuniak is lonely; she is colour-blind and short-sighted and thinks the calves are cubs; the oryx were too frail to flee, breaking the classic prey behaviour and confusing the hunter; Kamuniak wants to be a vegetarian; Kamuniak wants to be loved.


I gave up trying to understand her!


Guardian Unlimited © Guardian Newspapers Limited 2002

10-13-02, 06:40 PM

10-18-02, 05:36 PM
I'll admit it. Some women DO go TOO far!



Rat Patrol
10-07-03, 06:53 PM
Why are women, the way they Are?

Rat Patrol
07-10-04, 11:37 PM
Why are you getting so upset? This is not about you.

Yes it is. You are a human affront to all women and I am a woman.

Hey I don't feel great about this but I don't hear anyone complaining.

Of course not you're out of the door too fast.

I think they have an OK time.

How do you know?

What do you mean how do I know? I know.

Because they...

Yes, because they...

And how do you know that they really...

What are you saying, that they fake orgasm?

It's possible.

Get outta here!

Why? Most women at one time or another have faked it.

Well they haven't faked it with me.

How do you know?

Because I know.

Oh, right, that's right, I forgot, you're a man.

What is that supposed to mean?

Nothing. It's just that all men are sure it never happened to them and
that most women at one time or another have done it so you do the math.

You don't think that I could tell the difference?


Get outta here.


Are you OK?

Oh...Oh god...Ooo Oh God...Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh God...Oh yeah right there
Oh! Oh...Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes...Oh...Oh...Yes Yes Yes....Oh...Yes Yes Yes
Yes Yes Yes...Oh...Oh... Oh... Oh God Oh... Oh... Huh...

(Sally finishes, looks at Harry and smiles. Harry looks back, looking a
little uneasy)

Lady from another table
I'll have what she's having.

07-10-04, 11:51 PM
So, how are you suppose to answer her when she asks;

Do you think, my bottoms too big?
Or, do you think, I'm getting fat?



07-11-04, 06:46 AM
Answer: For marble ya ain't half bad. Better than that Venus babe...if ya know what I mean?

07-11-04, 09:53 AM
Sparrowhawk - just remember that the good Lord gives women a longer life span than men is to reward us and have a little time off......from

Where is my golf shirt?
When did you have it last, dear?
Last Saturday
Did you put it in the wash, dear? Or is it still in your golf bag?

Honey,are you going to mow the lawn?
The game is on - when it is over

Honey, the kids have a soccer game - you need to drive.
The game is on - when it's over

It is so nice to be here with you, son.,,and the children.
Mom, can you make your special dinner for me?
Of course dear - doesn't that women ever feed you properly?

and on, and on and.......................

07-11-04, 10:24 AM
This is a LOADED question. Which I will leave alone.

07-12-04, 08:10 AM
Here is my response!
When the floods come to take you away, all the skinny women will have floated off and only us well-formed babes will be left!

08-02-04, 09:50 PM
Originally posted by CAS3
Here is my response!
When the floods come to take you away, all the skinny women will have floated off and only us well-formed babes will be left!

"Only us well-formed babes will be left!"

Hummm, Huuuummmmm, Huuummmmm

HUM, HUM... No I better not... LOL

08-02-04, 10:24 PM
Sparrowhawk, WHY ARE MEN THE WAY THEY ARE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Always wanting to fix something that ain't broke!!!!!!!!!

08-02-04, 10:27 PM
Originally posted by nc.gal
Sparrowhawk, WHY ARE MEN THE WAY THEY ARE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Always wanting to fix something that ain't broke!!!!!!!!!


Because of WIMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!


08-02-04, 10:30 PM
Aren't we LOVABLE!!!!!! Will do anything for our man,yeah,right.

signing off now----GOODNIGHT

08-31-04, 07:16 PM
It is believed that the body of a woman consists of 32 parts. As the laws of nature, the temperament and habits of a woman vary from one individual to other and so does the body parts.

The beauty of the woman has to be judged on the whole considering all the parts together.

Though 'the beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder' but the different body parts has been defined ideally.

Gnerally, five body parts should be big; they are eyes, nose, knees, breasts and eyebrows. Fingers, nails and body texture should be thin and soft.

Thighs and mouth should be broad and big.

08-31-04, 07:27 PM
Beauty in Women

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes.
Lord Byron

For she was beautiful -- her beauty made
The bright world dim, and everything beside
Seemed like the fleeting image of a shade.
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Half light, half shade, She stood,
a sight to make an old man young.
Alfred, Lord Tennyson

The dark night makes every woman beautiful.… In the dark all blemishes are hid, every fault overlooked, that hour makes any woman fair. . . . Do not let too strong a light come into your bedroom. There are in a Beauty a great many things which are enhanced by being seen only in a half-light.

Ovid - Ars Amatoria

This is the female form,
A divine nimbus exhales from it from head to foot,
It attracts with fierce undeniable attraction,
I am drawn by its breath as if I were no more than a helpless vapour,
All falls aside but myself and it,
Books, art, religion, time, the visible and solid earth,
And what was expected of heaven or feared of hell, are now consumed,
Mad filaments, ungovernable shoots play out of it,
The response likewise ungovernable,
Ebb stung by the flow and flow stung by the ebb,
Love-flesh swelling and deliciously aching,
Limitless limpid jets of love hot and enormous,
Quivering jelly of love, white-blow and delirious juice,
Bridegroom night of love working surely and softly into the prostrate dawn,
Undulating into the willing and yielding day,
Lost in the cleave of the clasping and sweet-fleshed day.
Walt Whitman - I Sing The Body Electric

Body of my woman, I will live on through your marvellousness.
My thirst, my desire without end, my wavering road!
Dark river beds down which the eternal thirst is flowing,
And the fatigue is flowing, and the grief without shore.
Pablo Neruda

It is hard, if not impossible, to snub a beautiful woman --
they remain beautiful and the snub recoils.
Winston Churchill

It is better to be first with an ugly woman
than the hundredth with a beauty.
Pearl Buck

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones.
Helena Rubinstein

There is no such thing as an altogether
ugly woman -- nor altogether beautiful.
Michel Equem de Montaigne

There are many lovely women, but no perfect ones.
Victor Hugo

Beauty is never satisfied with beauty.
Helen gazing in her glass,
framed by lecherous curtains,
the enchanted bed,
knew herself beautiful.
Yet she felt life pass about her.
Kathleen Spivack - Myth-making

I hope you have lost your good looks, for while they last, any fool can adore you, and the adoration of fools is bad for the soul. No, give me a ruined complexion and a lost figure and sixteen chins on a farmyard of crow's feet and an obvious wig. Then you shall see me come out strong.

George Bernard Shaw to Mrs Patrick Campbell

Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies.
John Donne

Grace was in all her steps, Heaven in her eyes,
in every gesture dignity and love.
John Milton

Charm - it's a sort of bloom on a woman. If you have it, you don't need to have anything else; and if you don't have it, it doesn't much matter what else you have.

J M Barrie - What Every Woman Knows

Charmless beauty can impress me but it does not hold us for long.
It is like a bait that bobs without any hook.
Kapito V. 67

There is only one kind of beauty that can transcend time, and many women possess it. It is, of course, beauty of the spirit that lights the eyes and transforms even a plain woman into a beautiful one. Women with wit, charm and warmth, who are interested in others and forget themselves, and who accept each stage of life gracefully, are the lasting beauties of this world-and the happiest.

Deirdre Budge

True beauty is a message from within.
Raphaella Fox

You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. But if you are
beautiful at sixty, it will be your own soul's doing.
Marie Stopes

An angel stood and met my gaze,
Through the low doorway of my tent;
The tent is struck, the vision stays;
I only know she came and went.
James Russell Lowell - She Came and Went

My love in her attire doth show her wit,
It doth so well become her:
For every season she hath dressings fit,
For winter, spring, and summer.
No beauty she doth miss,
When all her robes are on;
But beauty's self she is,
When all her robes are gone.

The pride of the peacock is the glory of God.
The lust of the goat is the bounty of God.
The wrath of the lion is the wisdom of God.
The nakedness of woman is the work of God.
William Blake - Marriage of Heaven and Hell

I know a man who, when he saw a woman of striking beauty, praised
the Creator for her. The sight of her lit within him the love of God.
St John Climacus - Quoted in, The New Christian Year

09-03-04, 09:41 PM
girl I knew by the same name. A fisty women that once the door was shut, became a purring kitten... LMAO

Frances downgraded to Category 2 hurricane
Heavy winds knock out power to 90,000 Broward, Palm Beach County and Miami-Dade residents.


Hurricane Frances lost some steam and hesitated off the Florida coast Friday, prolonging the anxiety among the millions evacuated and raising fears of a slow, ruinous drenching over the Labor Day weekend.

The storm, which was downgraded to a Category 2 hurricane, is expected to come ashore with up to 20 inches of rain as early as Saturday afternoon, nearly a day later than earlier predictions.

Frances' sustained winds have dropped to 105 mph with higher gusts and continues to lumber through the Bahamas in a west-northwest direction at 4 mph.

Officials say some fluctuations in intensity are possible during the next 24 hours.


"fuctuations in intensity are possible,"

Yap, reminds me of that lady alright!

09-03-04, 09:47 PM
Memory Lane Cook;)

11-28-04, 09:17 PM
CLICK your mouse button to change slides...

Why men don't understand women (http://marines.bizland.com/Women1.ppt)

11-29-04, 10:41 AM
Cook...I'm glad you started this thread. I have spent most of my life trying to figure out women. I've had thousands of conversations on this subject and I have finally come to a conclusion: Women don't think the same way we do...you know mars vs venus..If you try to figure out a woman, you will not be successful because if they think it is not broke...how can you fix it? Hey...they got the power..they know it and they know how to use it. They have spent their entire life perfecting those skills.

11-29-04, 01:28 PM
Yes and who gave them women the power they forget that its like they went brain dead when it comes to that question. If it had not been for Man they would not have the power they have today....

Sgt Morales, AM
11-29-04, 01:38 PM
OH GEEZ...here we go again...blah blah blah. They only reason you say,
"If it had not been for Man they would not have the power they have today."

is because we let you think that way. We have always had the power regardless of what any man says!!!

Cook...this thread is great thread!!!

11-29-04, 01:43 PM
I think you be right Sgt Morales,AM.....I didn't know you were a woman....oorah

11-29-04, 01:46 PM
I have to say that I dont believe that you men will ever figure out us women. We are always changing.. LOL.. I know my husband says that he has me figured out and BOOM I change. He is always confused. But this is a great thread. I had to respond on this one that is for sure.

11-29-04, 01:49 PM
Wait the hell a minute here... Who allowed you women to vote??? who allowed you woman to enter bars? who allowed you woman to join my Marine Corps???

11-29-04, 01:51 PM
No we will never figure women out...sometimes it fun trying however...ya'll may have us men beat out in the IQ dept...I know because if a woman asks you a question...like where were you last nite or did you take out the trash...SHE ALREADY KNOWS THE ANSWER.

11-29-04, 02:02 PM
LOL.. I hear ya on that one gbudd. too funny... I know what you are saying though. Cause sometimes you ask a question and they guy stands there and says well umm umm and you already know :)).. Just kidding guys not bashing on yall.. Just having alittle fun here

11-29-04, 02:09 PM
i am a female and i can't even figure us out. i don't expect any man too either. not all women are confusing. sometimes you get lucky and find the ones that like to sit on the couch, watch football and drink beer, or the ones that can't stand to go shopping or own 10 different pairs black shoes. i can tell you that being an active duty female in the marines, you gotta have tough skin and be able to handle anything that comes your way. women aren't a breed they are a species. everyday scientist are finding new types.

11-29-04, 02:14 PM
LOL now angel I have to say that is one way to look at it. LOL.. I will have to go look in my closet.. Maybe there is a secret layin in there.. My husband is greatful that I am one of the women that loves to watch football, that loves to drink a beer with her husband and friends. but I also love going out and playing the football, playing the soccer, tennis and basketball.. But I have to say that this white chick cant jump ... ROFLMAO

11-29-04, 02:14 PM
...so anyway this guy was on his 3rd and last wish from the standard Mk I Mod 0 Genie in a Bottle.

He says to the Genie, "I've always been afraid of flying, but I've wanted to go to Hawaii for years. Build me a highway bridge to Hawaii!"

The Genie says, "Are you kidding? Have you any idea of the engineering considerations? The depths of the Pacific, the shifting of the tectonic plates, the stress put on the piers from a 1000 meters of water, just to start with!"

The guy scratches his head and reconsiders. "Okay - Instead, I want to truly understand women!"

The Genie replies, "So do you want a two or four lane bridge?" :banana:

11-29-04, 02:18 PM
LOL.. thats a good one yellow.. Where do you come up with these things. Yeah I admit we are very hard to figure out, and it will be a science that is never fully figured out. I have to say that I think we women like being mysterious and dont want to be figured out cause then it makes us vulnerable..

Doc Crow
11-29-04, 02:25 PM
Even as a DOC I will not attempt to answer any part of this question

Sgt Morales, AM
11-29-04, 02:32 PM
I sense a little hostility!!! Did you get beat up by a girl? LOL

Who allowed YOU men to enter this world???...A WOMAN!! Ha Ha Ha!

Just kidding...it's all funny until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious. :)

11-29-04, 02:51 PM
hahahaha Sgt Morales i will reserve my comment i cant think right this morning.

Sgt Morales, AM
11-29-04, 02:54 PM
Thats ok...I know you'll come up with a good one here in a second. :)

11-29-04, 02:57 PM
Oh and for you there hrscowboy.. its not YOUR Corps.. its is OUR CORPS..

Sgt Morales, AM
11-29-04, 03:00 PM
It sounds like it's "pick on hrscowboy" day!!! Poor Hrscowboy...we still love you and your kind regardless. LOL

11-29-04, 03:02 PM
lol.. yeah i had to reply to his comment but you can only send 1 msg every 60 secs so i had to wait to respond.. LOL.. Yeah hrscowboy we are all teasing.. Its all in fun..

11-29-04, 03:49 PM
Are all women multi-taskers? I've heard that men like to do one thing at a time and do that task well and then move on to the next task. Maybe this is the main difference and a source of conflict.
I've heard that men see items and see how those items can be used again with a little repair whereas women will see those same items and choose to discard them and buy a new items.
I've never tried to figure out why women act the way they do. (I've been too busy trying to figure out why I act the way I do. LOL)
Personally, a restroom with a deadbolt lock, television, remote control, magazine rack, small refrigerator with beer would provide a somewhat safe haven for me while the lady of the house figures out how to handle the three legged chair that I had just snuck into the garage (I swear it was for parts).
Yes, women are different but not unusual and it is always a joy interacting with them when their bio-rythms are steady.

Sgt Morales, AM
11-29-04, 04:03 PM
Bio-rythms...that's a good way to put it!! Not all women are the same. It's the luck of the draw. I love to fix things, play and watch football. I use something until it can no longer be used or fixed. I am not your typical woman, I'm a Marine for god sakes. My husband loves the fact that we are on the same level. One of the difference between him and I is that I get sick watching sports/ESPN/Highlights, from time to time. LOL. I think the reason our moods change is because it's a survival thing. :)

Toby M
11-29-04, 04:06 PM
Hey Doc, I don't blame you for not wanting to answer this question...whatever or however we answer, we are still going to be wrong! It took me a loooong time (two wives) to realize just how wrong we can be! 'Nuff said...

11-29-04, 04:19 PM
...men like to do one thing at a time and do that task well and then move on to the next task.

I'm one of those types that eats one thing at a time on my supper plate. Once the vegggies are gone I move onto the 'taters, then the steak I save for last.

Even at Wafflehouse, I'd blend my sausage, eggs, and hashbrowns into one giant mess, coated in a fine layer of tobasco. (great for hangovers!)

Sgt Morales, AM
11-29-04, 04:31 PM
I can honestly say that there are some women out there that have given us "good" girls a bad name. Men aren't usually wrong, just misunderstood.

11-29-04, 04:42 PM
hahhahahaha yes i will say its our corps now but it was my corp before yours...

11-29-04, 05:33 PM
...it was my corp before yours...
I was still only three years old when it was your Corps!

I was probably getting a good hang on walking and trying to figure out that potty thing. :banana:

11-29-04, 06:52 PM
I have to disagree that men do one thing at a time, do that task well, and then move on to another. The reason that they do that one thing and do it well is because that is all they can handle at that time. Have you ever heard the old saying, "you can give a woman 10,000 things to do in one day and she'd get everything done; however, if you ask a man to do one thing in a day you can't ask him to do another because that is all he can handle in that day."

11-29-04, 07:11 PM
Well said. You, I imagine, might agree that multi-tasking has often led to follow-up actions geared to straightening out what was not thoroughly completed during the first multi-task go round. In other words, someone other than the multi-tasker may have to follow to fix the mess left behind...and that someone usually is a competant man (sometimes) LOL. I do know that multi-tasking in an industrial environment is totally unsafe.

I agree that women are geared for performing certain tasks better than men and vis-a-versa. I know that I couldn't do 10,000 tasks in a day especially when I might not be knowledgeable enough or have the apptitude to do some of the tasks asked of me.

Either way, if a person can multi-task safely and efficiently without having a follow-up....more power to Him or Her.

11-29-04, 07:38 PM
hrscowboy, do you feel like you just walked into a restroom, looked around, and then noticed that all the seats were down?
Why can't women figure out how to lift it when they are done? lol

So much for a "night out with the girls". LOL

11-29-04, 07:55 PM
At the dawn of time, Adam is in the garden of Eden with all the animals. It is an absolute paradise, with the beauty of nature all around, but Adam still feels there's something amiss, so he says to God "Hey God! There's something not quite right here still.

I feel I need a companion, someone who will love me, care about me, always be there, always understand."

"That's quite a tough request", says God,

"I can get you one that will love you, care for you, do anything you want sexually, will admire you, treat you like her king, and do what ever you desire.

She will be beautiful, nice shape, perfect lips, mouth, she'll be a redhead, blond, or what ever you like, she'll change for you and satisfy your every desire in all things. But, it's going to cost you."

"How much?", says Adam.

"It'll cost you an arm and a leg", says God.

"That's a bit steep - I don't think I can afford that", says Adam.

"What can I get for a rib?"

so, there it is, Adams fault.... LOL

11-29-04, 09:56 PM
"What can I get for a rib?"---lol---Well, a mate that can multi-task is not one that you will get. Allow me to explain.

Example: Back to the toilet seats that hrscowboy saw in the restroom.

A man zips up, lowers down and flushes. Three tasks.

A woman stands up, pulls up and flushes. Three tasks.

A woman is doing no more tasks then a man.

What a woman needs to do is, stand up, pull up, lower down and flush. FOUR tasks!

If indeed they could multi-task they could reduce the four tasks to three or two or even one multi-motion.

So, as Sparrowhawk points out----this is what we men get for the price of a rib---a toilet seat that always needs to be raised---lol.

11-29-04, 10:36 PM
yehaawwwwwwwwwwwwww you go sparrowhawk

11-29-04, 10:38 PM
you know yellowwing i never could figure that out, why they thought we needed to put the dang thing down when were done I wonder who thought that one up...

11-29-04, 11:00 PM
Yeah, we can hit a target a 500 yards but 'wimin don't think we can hit what is two foot in front of us! ;)

11-30-04, 11:56 AM
You all are too funny.... No matter how hard you guys try there will never be a solution to you guys figuring us out. we will always be a mystery not only to men but sometimes to ourselves..

Sgt Morales, AM
11-30-04, 12:35 PM
In regards to the "three task toilet" thing. There is such a thing as toilet paper & wiping!!! The reason y'all only have 3 tasks is because you nasty's don't wipe! YUK!! Also, the person who invented/suggested men put the seat down was no other than a...GENTLEMAN!!! LOL

11-30-04, 12:37 PM
LOL.. love it morales.. that shall kick em.. lol

Sgt Morales, AM
11-30-04, 12:49 PM
Thanks FM_98!!! I got to defend the fewer and the prouder WM's. :)

Sgt Morales, AM
11-30-04, 12:50 PM
Oops, i mean FM_89

11-30-04, 01:23 PM
LOL yeah I dont like the term WM.. my husband said that one time to me and I told him I was no WM.. He said yes you are and I said dammit I am not a Walking Mattress.. He laughed and said oh no honey you are not one of them.. So now he knows the difference.. LOL

11-30-04, 01:30 PM
a web site page that explaines to men, everything we need to know in order to get along with women. <br />
<br />
Everything you need to know to figure them out. <br />
<br />
All that information on one web page! <br />
<br />
<br />

11-30-04, 02:58 PM
lol.. now talk about using time wisely.. sparrow is trying to figure out women.. you know that site was probably written by a man so there is no promise that it is correct.. LOL.. just teasin sparrow :D

11-30-04, 03:55 PM
If we could understand wimen, we could be thought as the sage of all time.
We got for the price of a rib, has led to many a man downfall.
One thing is for certain, we don't have to wait in long lines to use the "Head-John", times I feel pity for the wimen standing in those long lines.
Some have taken to using the "men's"...things that I like on being a "male".
Yes, we were launch on life by a woman but it took a man to start life...now it's not certain because invro...still there has to be a donor, who certainly is a male.
Yes on multi-tasking, wimen do more things at once and many times we have to help with the multi-tasking from the dawn of time.
On telling the "truth", sometimes it might get you into big trouble.
One thing that a male notices, after marriage, the females get more friendly.
Wonder why, it not that they want companionship, they think there no harm because he married.
The roles have changed as I read tthe other day, males are now the "girls" to wimen because they are the one's making the choice.
This month "Men's Health" had an interesting Editorial on Mars vs Venus or men ane women...how they lead us to believe that we're in control, when all the while they're the one's calling the

Semper Fidelis/Semper Fi

Much of that came from my experience of 30 years...

Sgt Morales, AM
11-30-04, 05:34 PM
That is a very interesting way on putting it Mill.

11-30-04, 05:37 PM
Who knows and who cares? Ha ha ha! ROFL

Sgt Morales, AM
11-30-04, 05:48 PM
Funny funny...Snipo!

11-30-04, 06:43 PM


11-30-04, 06:52 PM
women by the songs titles they have composed about them..

not the words just the titles....LMAO

Women and Whisky by Pat green

Trashy Women by kentucky headhunters

Honky Tonk Women by the Rolling Stones

Woman a Moan by Mega Benton

Black magic women

Just Like A Woman

scent of a Woman...

I knows there are more out there...


12-01-04, 10:15 AM
Drinking her pretty is one of my favorites.

12-01-04, 11:24 AM
What about John Anderson's "You look better than money in the bank"

I'd like to see that woman he was singing about!

Sgt Morales, AM
12-01-04, 12:51 PM
All those songs where inspired by me...I wish.

Sgt Morales, AM
12-01-04, 12:52 PM
definatley not "trashy women" or "Honky Tonk Women" :)

12-01-04, 02:04 PM
Originally posted by Sgt Morales, AM
definatley not "trashy women" or "Honky Tonk Women" :)

Like when you view your graduation video.

I had this vision of you come to mind of you getting up, and as those songs play in the background, you getting up and march around to their sounds. LMAO

Sgt Morales, AM
12-01-04, 02:24 PM
Too Late??? NOOOOO.. I swear I'm n ot a trashy woman. I am a cross between Salma Hayek and JLo. So I've been told. ;)

12-01-04, 04:28 PM
Sorry Sgt. Morales temptation got the best of me. I simply couldn't resist! I mean you ladies did "steal" a rib from man. I wonder why God did that? Was it to make you even more perfect then what you already are? Makes you wonder!

P.S. After that comment up above that Sgt. Morales had, I'm just dying to know what she looks like. Got any gallery photos yet? If not, how come? By all means post away! I'm there, don't be scared or shy Marine! Hint hint!

Sgt Morales, AM
12-01-04, 05:03 PM
I don't have a gallery...yet. I'll just give you a brief description. 36...29...36...below the shoulder dark brown hair (when not in a bun) brown eyes, olive skin, 5'4 and I'm not going to give weight. Just know that I am below the Max on the weight chart around 125. :) I hope that's a good enough description. This sounds like a personal ad. Creepy!!! ;) lol

12-01-04, 10:28 PM
Originally posted by Sgt Morales, AM
Too Late??? NOOOOO.. I swear I'm n ot a trashy woman. I am a cross between Salma Hayek and JLo. So I've been told. ;)

Visions and now imaginations come to mind.

Hummm, first Salma Hayek's top


and then JLo's rear end.... now, that would be a great combo... ROTFLMAO


12-01-04, 10:33 PM

Sgt Morales, AM
12-02-04, 12:20 AM
That's pretty close Cook!!! My booty isn't THAT big. Jlo's rear needs a sign that reads..."wide load". Mine is a little more pettite. You got the Salma Hayek part right on the money. ;)

12-02-04, 07:39 AM
Well now Sgt Morales, AM...you have got our attention...Cook is always on the ball with those pics...I like your confidence Morales.

12-02-04, 08:44 AM
Originally posted by Sgt Morales, AM
That's pretty close Cook!!! My booty isn't THAT big. Jlo's rear needs a sign that reads..."wide load". Mine is a little more pettite. You got the Salma Hayek part right on the money. ;)

Gosh darn those imaginations, visions and shadows in the night...


We might need to start a Leatherneck buns calendar....


Sgt Morales, AM
12-02-04, 10:47 AM
No shame!!!! But you are very funny with your Photos, visions, and things. It must be "the fog of War" LOL

12-02-04, 10:53 AM
You're the one that <strike>posed,</strike> said something about your skinny hot buns.. LMAO

12-02-04, 11:30 AM
Nice set of BUNS

Sgt Morales, AM
12-02-04, 11:38 AM
All I said was that my butt was a little more pettite than JLo's. Not full of sand with dental floss running through it! :) Crazy crazy crazy man! Only a man who loves redheads would post something like that. Just kidding Cook.

12-02-04, 12:05 PM
http://www.hsjournalism.com/smilies/drool.gif Dental Floss.....

Sgt Morales, AM
12-02-04, 12:06 PM
Very cute enviro...I love the drool!

12-02-04, 12:45 PM
Hey now whats wrong with redheads??? I have been one all my life. :(

12-02-04, 12:53 PM
Not a thing but a little different from the average bear....I hear they are HOT...Can't say I really know alot about redheads unless strawberry blonds count...then I do.

12-02-04, 01:03 PM
LOL.. no that dont count as a redhead.. Its funny cause my husband told me that with me being a redhead and when he told the guys on the ship that not only was I a Marine but a redhead too they told him that he had his hands full. He admits it everyday that I am like a stick of dynomite.. LOL.. that is the nickname that they gave me on his ship.. one of his Chief's called me Dynomite and it kind of stuck from there on out.. LOL

Sgt Morales, AM
12-02-04, 01:22 PM
Redheads are known for their attitude (feistiness), and ability to cause some damage. Definately NOT your average bear! Redheads are rare, but they make their pressence known!!! FM_89... AKA~ DY..NO..MITE!

12-02-04, 01:37 PM
I have never met a redhead that is not adventurous and daring…

but, oh, what price one pays for that….. LMAO

12-02-04, 01:46 PM
Iam so married to a redhead. And when the spam hits the fan watch out talk about bombshells.

12-02-04, 01:58 PM
LOL.. thanks sgt.. but im not the one with a pic on here... LOL.. that b you sgt.. LOL

Sgt Morales, AM
12-02-04, 02:18 PM
Ha Ha Ha...that's thanks to the Hawk.

12-02-04, 02:39 PM
LOL... leave it to sparrow to do something like that.. LOL.. hubs will laugh when I show him that pic.. then he will say and who is that suppose to be :))

Sgt Morales, AM
12-02-04, 02:59 PM
Husbands...can't live with them...can't kill them.

Sgt Morales, AM
12-02-04, 05:21 PM
Can you imagin that same picture with SparrowHawks name on the bottom? That would be classic!

12-02-04, 05:33 PM
LOL.. Now that would be funny.. But I dont see that happening. He must be very talented with using the computer cause there is no way that I could ever do something like that. LOL

Sgt Morales, AM
12-02-04, 05:45 PM
I can see it now...sparrowHawk with a leopard g-string.

12-02-04, 05:46 PM
ROFLMAO.. you are too much.. I dont know if I even want to imagine that.. Gonna keep my mind from the gutter.. LOL

Sgt Morales, AM
12-02-04, 11:56 PM
Too late...I think everyone on this site has their mind in the gutter. They're Marines...LOL

12-03-04, 10:00 AM
Well you know laughter is the best medicine....Only Cook could bring up a subject like this one and I'm sure he will keep it going.

12-03-04, 11:11 AM
I totally agree that we all need laughter in our lives. there is always times of hardship or things going on where we just need a little laugh to make it seem little better.

12-03-04, 11:26 AM
Another thing to remember fm 89 ....what ever the problem... IT'S ALL TEMPORARY...AND YOU GOT FRIENDS TO TALK TO.

12-03-04, 12:03 PM
I can see it now...sparrowHawk with a leopard g-string.

I was going to 'cook' up a good picture, than I just felt too weird looking at men's g-srtings trying to find a good template. Sorry, no help here! :no:

Sgt Morales, AM
12-03-04, 12:16 PM
HA HA HA...Yeah, I don't think men should be looking at other men in g-strings. It's pretty hard for me...as a woman! I think male dental floss is plain and simply nasty!

12-03-04, 01:04 PM
Originally posted by yellowwing

I was going to 'cook' up a good picture, than I just felt too weird looking at men's g-srtings trying to find a good template. Sorry, no help here! :no:

That would only encourage them!

But, then again, maybe the leopard spots might help us understand, why women are the way they are?


Sgt Morales, AM
12-03-04, 01:11 PM
Well sparrow...it all depends on how and where you use the Leopard tie. LOL

12-03-04, 07:06 PM
OMG not the leopard pattern.. brings back memories.. LOL

12-04-04, 09:54 AM
Now here's where it starts... why women are the way they are;

My newspaper lady shared this story, with me, this morning, after she dropped off our paper on our front porch. She said, her neighbor told her the story about her daughter saying this.


“I’m so plain and he’s so fancy”

A woman and her three year old daughter were visiting next door while the neighbor’s two year old son was being potty trained. As both women went into the kitchen the daughter stayed behind to keep watch on the young boy as he sat on the potty chair.

A short time the little girl came into the kitchen, sobbing, with tears rolling down her cheeks.

What’s wrong dear,” asked her Mommy.
“It’s just not fair, mommy, she answered, as she took in a long sigh.

Intrigued by her answer, the mother asked, “What’s not fair, dear?”

“It’s just not fair,” the young girl said, again.

“I’m so plain and he’s so fancy.”


I had never heard it being called, "fancy," before.


12-07-04, 08:36 PM

Women will take advantage of you, every chance they get and make you think that they have done you a favour!

12-08-04, 06:26 PM
Now that is a cute pic cook.. My husband laughed so hard i swear he would have fallen out of the chair..

12-08-04, 07:25 PM
If being potty trained is fancy, then I have a way to go, I'm not even house broke yet. I think the fanciest I've ever been is the time I wore that bow tie, that's it, just the bow tie. Of course I had my birthday suit on, always gotta look my best I always say.;)

12-08-04, 07:30 PM
ROFLMAO.. Hey gray between you and Cook you guys keep me rolling here

12-08-04, 07:36 PM
Well, 89, love ta keep ya going until ya pee, but my foods gonna get away if I don't tend to it. Being a bachelor is awesome,...sort of. I'll meet ya next time. Maybe tomorrow, lass.

12-08-04, 07:37 PM
Ok Gray.. Have a good one..
Here ya go guys.. I found this and just had to post it.. LOL

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.

"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

MORAL: Women are evil. Don't mess with them
Pass on this advice !!

12-15-04, 06:06 PM
Wait a minute, if women are evil...

12-15-04, 09:52 PM
...and what is it with women and their purses?
This is a woman that was just released after the recent Greek Terror Hostage ordeal.
Even after 18 hours of being a hostage and could be blown up any second,
She doesn't forget her purse!

(I often ask my wife, "Have you seen my wallet?")

12-16-04, 10:01 PM
Women's purses are designed with quantum singularities embedded into them.

A woman's purse can not only hold more than it's spatial dimensions would suggest, occasionally the fabric of time/space acts gets ripped near them and strange things occur. It's like a TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space) for tampons.

I have found over the years that a woman’s purse contains her soul, that keeps changing with the years of her life, and every time she changes her mind. LOL

You can tell a lot about a woman, by the purse she carries and the size of her purse.

Purses come in all ranges of shapes, sizes, and in varying degrees of clutter. Well, some have no clutter at all and if that doesn't make you suspicious of them-then nothing will. Women pack all sorts of trash in their purses or pocketbooks. Much of it depends on what stage in life the female is in as to what she carries with her.


In the earliest stages of this rite of passage, a young girl carries a small purse with a shoulder strap. It's more for style than for functionality. Inside you will find a change purse, a brush, and some cosmetics. If she's lucky, she's remembered to put the house key inside-no car keys for she isn't old enough for that yet. In mere months, bits of important papers begin to reside inside. It could be a note from a friend she needed to hide hastily from a nosy high school teacher. Then, as if by magic, a tiny address book with the telephone numbers of all her friends finds lodging.

By the time she grows old enough to have her own keys to the family car, the purse has grown larger to accommodate even more "necessary" items for life. The change purse has been replaced by a wallet that holds not only money but photos of her friends and relatives. No credit cards or checkbook yet, but it won't be long. More cosmetics are added to the purse along with a pager or a beeper that the young pre-adults find so essential today.


When she's on her own, the fancy sort of purse slowly begins to change. It's not that skimpy, yet expensive little leather bag. She's graduated to the vinyl or fabric bag that can hold more. If she's a free-spirited sort, it'll just be a one-hole wonder to catch everything. If she's more organized, it will be one with a multitude of pockets-each with a precise placement for its contents. By now, there is a checkbook which has become a constant worry over what the true balance might be (unless we are dealing with an accounting major who will challenge the bank at every turn), and more credit cards than some 3rd world countries, and in as much debt. But now, sunglasses, medicines, tissues, and contact lens holders also find a home in the purse.


Along with motherhood comes a further transmutation of a woman's purse. It does double duty posing as a backup diaper bag. Now at true suitcase proportions, inside can be found extra diapers-a size too small, more tissues, a pack of portable wipees, a now fuzzy pacifier, a leaky tube of baby rash ointment, and the long lost water bottle. Oh, and about $32 in loose change at the bottom of the bag. Until she changes that bag for another, she'll never find the kid's favorite rattle either. This continues until all her children are beyond the toddler stage and well into kiddom-about 7 years-old. Constant, though absent-minded digging in the purse for the lost "whatever" eats many hours from her life.

Now the purse starts to shrink. It's almost her own again except for the kid's spit out gum in a tissue, small vending machine toy castoffs with cut-your-fingers-off edges, extra pens and pencils for school, and more papers of all kinds. The purse has become a receptacle for everything from bills to pay stubs, a deck of cards with two missing to paper clips, and more keys than the keeper of the Capitol building. Between the keys and all that change still jingling around the bottom of that purse, a woman doesn't need a bell wrapped around her neck for others to know she's coming.

When her children grow to the teenage stage, the purse shrinks a little more, not much, but ever so slightly. The credit cards have long ago dwindled to a mere one or two that she religiously avoids using and the checkbook no longer scares her to death for she's learned to record the checks in her register and to trust her basic math abilities. The many keys, and the wallet are still there too. The keys jingle less and the wallet is more streamlined. The little makeup bag holds less and is rarely used except for emergencies, but that good fingernail file is always at the ready. The file isn't so much for her nails as it is for prying open items or chipping the ice off her windshield. And the change at the bottom of the bag went the way of school lunches.

Finally, the mature woman carries the smallest purse of all. It's taken years now for her to return from one-sided slumped posture to a more bipedal form. Inside this dainty jewel of a purse is a gem wallet, the checkbook stays at home, a few tissues, and two keys. And, when she can get away with it, she never takes the purse at all. It's only baggage after all.

12-16-04, 10:11 PM
I asked one trusted woman, "Why not just get a bigger purse?"

She replied, "I'd just carry more sh*t in it if I did!"

12-16-04, 10:18 PM
Look at the name given purses, then imagine the type of woman that carries that purse for example

Click on Handbags & Designer Purses (http://www.more-shoes.com/handbags.htm)

then pick a purse from that site

For example a women carrying this purse would also be wearing a thong...LMAO


Humm, I wonder what type of purses the women of leatherneck.com carry?

Click on for example

Donald J Pliner (http://www.zappos.com/n/es/d/722000587.html)

and you might find a purse that Ellie would carry. LOL


12-16-04, 10:29 PM
I have found over the years for example that

A woman carrying this type of purse.


99.5% of the time she would not be wearing panties.


On the other hand a women carrying this type of purse

would be wearing LARGE Elephant panties like these



Sgt Morales, AM
12-17-04, 12:30 AM
What does it mean when you have all sorts of purses (minus the large ELEPHANT panty one)? I have animal prints (croc & snake), designer, clutch bags, shoulder bags, etc...?

Please, oh wise Sparrow, enlighten us women.

12-17-04, 12:56 AM

Hobo International...just had to see what type of purses these were.
This is just one of many.
I'm learning something new everyday.
My wife now is down to a small purse.
I'm surprise, how much she has in that little purse.
All these years we've been married, all I remember that she always carried or carrys a small purse.
Shoes on the other hand, we could talk forever.
SparrowHawk, the ladies await you to enlight them!
Will they ask if you're a "sage"?
Not the one use for cooking, but the all-knowing...
LMAO in northwest Indiana.
Where it right down chilly.
Good "cuddling up weather", maybe that why so many babies are born in the summer...too much "cuddling".
See what you started!
From bags or purses, to shoes, to "cuddling" than babies...

Semper Fidelis/Semper Fi

12-17-04, 01:18 AM
Okay, is their correspondence of purses to panties? I have not noted as such in my 39 years.

But to tell you the complete truth when I got to the panties part, I did not really notice hand bag style!

12-17-04, 11:57 AM
Cook, you gave me an idea--clicked onto the purses and found
the popular Fossil hand bags--got to have one--can't make my mind which one--Under Fossil, page 3 is a nice double flap organizer for just $68.00 and page 5, a nice cargo Hobo organizer for $118.00, now this one is pricy, but nice.
A woman can always use a new purse. I have retired several
of my old ones. LOL------------------LOL


12-17-04, 12:54 PM
Originally posted by Sgt Morales, AM
What does it mean when you have all sorts of purses (minus the large ELEPHANT panty one)? I have animal prints (croc & snake), designer, clutch bags, shoulder bags, etc...?

Please, oh wise Sparrow, enlighten us women.

Gosh darn Morales;

Its not about the purses you carry!

Its the type of panties you wear, that's what this tread is all about...


12-17-04, 12:56 PM
Borrowed words for this story


The Purse a man gives you

She had found the purse just sitting there alone, like her. Had some poor soul lost their prized possession? Who would of left this beautiful creation here? She held it in her hands. The beautiful soft leather caressed her finger tips as she carefully touched the handbag. The shimmering softness captivated her.

She held the sturdy leather covered bag in her hand? She looked around for someone to claim it But the streets in Pioneer Square were empty. She wanted so badly to claim it as her own. It was so perfect, so charming. How could anyone lose such a thing? She sat with the bag at the table, but no one came. Was it fate?

The art work of the purse was inspiring. Her handbag's beauty was matched only by that of Van Gogh and Monet. The bag's colorful palette screamed motion, nature, exoticism.
She strived the bustle of the city and headed to its heart. The market was alive with the sound of people and the smell of exotic fragrances. Bodies were crammed close together out of necessity of lacking space. She was bumped into by a man with a large bouquet. He smiled shyly at her.
"I would offer you this," he said looking at the roses imprint on her bag," but I see you have some of your own."

He looked so familiar. Where had she seen him before? She could not recall ever meeting him. Perhaps she had met him in her dreams, she thought with a laugh.
She was famished. So she walked down the dark stairs to her favorite restaurant the Alibi Room. As she looked out the window, she tried desperately to find her mystery man in the crowded streets below.

She walked out of the restaurant and towards the beach. It was already getting dark and the stars began to flicker in the night's sky. She saw something on the sand in front of her. It was a red rose! How ironic; it reminded her of the man she saw at Pike Place Market. She smelled its sweet fragrance. How lovely. . .She put the rose in her flowered purse. But what was this? A hand written note! It must of been in the handbag all along, maybe it was a clue to the handbag's origin.

The note was in a lacy script and read: "I finally found you. Call me-206-999-2561." Should she call the number she wondered? What a seductive mystery! She dialed the number slowly, her heart raced as the phone rang.

"I was waiting for you," answered a silky voice. All male. "Do you like my gift?," he asked.

"The handbag? Yes, its beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you, not even close."

Who was this man, she wondered and how could he have done all this? "Where are you," she asked.

"Right in front of you. See the bonfire on the beach?"
She did, and there was the man she saw earlier, with the rose bouquet still in his hand. She walked over to him. "How?" she whispered.

"Fate," he answered her and kissed her seductively on her waiting lips

12-17-04, 12:59 PM
Originally posted by yellowwing
... to tell you the complete truth

"when I got to the panties part, I did not really notice hand bag style!"

Outstanding quotation... ROTFLMAO

12-17-04, 01:10 PM
From what I have heard panties can suddenly turn into purses.

12-17-04, 01:21 PM
Ricardo it's not the ladies that need
enlightment, but us men!



"Never trust a woman that carries a designer purse but doesn't wear panties."

See what you started; Yellowwing


12-19-04, 04:13 PM
Heck when I was on the police force I didnt carry a purse.. I just put what I needed in my badge case and went.. so what does this say about me :P

12-19-04, 07:53 PM
Hopefully you had on Kevlar skivvies when you were on patrol!

Phantom Blooper
12-19-04, 08:48 PM
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need if it's on sale.

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6. Cats
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men tease or let the house cats out of the house.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man! .

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Phantom Blooper
12-19-04, 08:49 PM
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently aging but still warm and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, lost the war and haunted by past mistakes.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide and borders are now unpatrolled.

After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iraq - ruled by a d#*k.

12-19-04, 09:09 PM
Originally posted by femalemarine_89
Heck when I was on the police force I didnt carry a purse.. I just put what I needed in my badge case and went.. so what does this say about me :P

It says

You always carried a set of handcuff's with you...

Just in case... LMAO

Originally posted by yellowwing
Hopefully you had on Kevlar skivvies when you were on patrol!

Great Response... LOL

12-21-04, 05:38 PM
roflmao.. heck i still have handcuffs and badcase.. hmmmm what i could do with those ;).. experience pays.. LOL..

12-27-04, 11:18 AM

12-27-04, 11:41 AM
for me? My favorites, WOW, m & m's



12-27-04, 11:54 AM

My sister, for years, never knew that M&M came in different colors, I didn't like the chocolate covered ones, so that's all I would give her...

and she was happy about that...

until she found out!

"Why are Women, they way they are?"

12-27-04, 12:22 PM
looks like you did find my weakness!!!!!!!!!!!!

figured I'd be the one to fall in your trap.:D

Me, I like all the colors:)

01-19-05, 11:42 AM
I live in a household of six women. One wife and six daughters, you would think I owuld learn better.

Now I went and got me a female dog, and she's sick this morning, I already knew I had a Defective Dog (http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=18379), but now she's not eating or drinking water so something is wrong.
I'm taking her to the vet and he'll probably tell me she's angry at me and not eating because of that.


Maybe if I buy her some flowers....?

01-19-05, 11:58 AM
What Women Want <br />
<br />
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he...

01-19-05, 12:51 PM
And if you do respect women...things will still get ugly! Women are sort of like Texas weather....any Texan on this site can explain that statement........

01-19-05, 02:16 PM
Go ahead, gbudd, you're a Texan, EXPLAIN

01-19-05, 03:55 PM
If you don't like the weather..wait a minute..it WILL CHANGE. I thought everyone knew that....Like today...right now it's sunny and almost 70....a few hours ago it was in the upper 20s....How you been Linda?

01-19-05, 08:41 PM
Hi Gary, I'm fine, doing just great, thank you.
Yeah, the weather is crazy. Last week we were in the 60's and
70's and this week is cold, low in the teens and highs
in the 30's. Snow and sleet were forcasts for Sat. & Sun,
now its been changed to just a cold rain. Maybe I still can
take in a movie Saturday----my husband doesn't know yet,
but I'll spring it on him Sat. morn.---saying, Hon, I want
to go see a movie today.

01-19-05, 11:31 PM
Ladies are the way we are because of the way men are mostly....and to the women on this forum, I have something that you will probably enjoy, but I am not sure if I would be able to post it so I figured that I would just do it this way. If you would like to know it is just let me know either by email or pm and I will send it your way. And if any men wish to know what it is you can email or pm me also and I will send it to you.