thedrifter
11-19-07, 08:16 PM
Couple share home with on-the-move Marines, their families
By Stephanie K. Parry
TODAY'S LOCAL NEWS
November 17, 2007
On Thanksgiving Day of last year, Pastor Ralph Henshaw and his wife, Barbara, had a houseful of Marines who weren't able to go home to their families for the holiday.
Barbara said one Marine asked her if he could help prepare the dinner, and she asked him to mash the potatoes. As he was helping, he told her that if he had been home, he would have been doing the same thing for his mother.
“It brought tears to my eyes because we brought home to him,” Barbara said.
The couple open their home to service members and their families, mostly from Camp Pendleton, to help them in any way they can.
Bill Reed started the program called Hospitality Home 41 years ago. Reed, whom everyone called Pop, was a pastor at a church in Fontana before moving to Oceanside and starting Hospitality Home to help single Marines.
When Reed died in February 2006 at age 91, Ralph was the pastor of the church in Fontana. Reed hadn't prepared anyone to take over Hospitality Home, so Ralph stepped down as pastor and he and and Barbara moved to Oceanside to run the program.
Today, Ralph and Barbara have expanded Hospitality Home to provide services such as food, games or a place to stay for the night to military families.
“I'll make a warm meal or make them cookies,” Barbara said.
Ralph said he wants military personnel to know someone is there for them no matter what.
“Young servicemen need that someone they can call and be there,” he said.
Ralph and Barbara approached the chaplain's office on Camp Pendleton about continuing the work Reed had started and signed up as civilians to be chaplains. They work with other chaplains in the community and on base to help service members and their families.
The chaplain's office helps them connect with military personnel who may not want to talk to military chaplains for fear of the information reaching their command.
“I don't share information because I want them to feel that they can come to me for help,” Ralph said. “When I counseled college students, they knew I wouldn't tell their parents unless I thought it was serious enough for their parents to know; and then I would go with them to tell their parents so they didn't feel alone.”
Ralph said confidentiality makes it easier for military people to come to him when they need help.
“They can come to this home and know this couple will be there for them,” Ralph said.
The couple also work with families left behind by deployments.
When Renay Bishop's husband, Gunnery Sgt. Ed Bishop, went to Iraq, Barbara and Ralph became their prayer partners.
“Barbara would come up to me and tell me she was praying for me,” Renay said. “I always knew if I needed somebody I could turn to Barbara.”
Renay and Ed's friendship with Ralph and Barbara developed into get-togethers for meals, games or conversation.
Like most military families, Ed and Renay are on the move – to a new base in another state soon.
“That's the only problem with this ministry; you see people come and go,” Barbara said.
Ed appreciates what Ralph and Barbara do for the young men and women in the military.
“It would have been nice (to have this) when I was younger,” Ed said.
The Henshaws see a need for family counseling among Marines returning from Iraq.
“Young people are coming back with so many things to deal with, and it's hard to put marriage on top of it,” Ralph said.
The Henshaws attend marriage classes such as Chaplain's Religious Enrichment Development Operations (CREDO), offered through the chaplain's office and Marine Corps Community Services, to meet young couples and offer assistance.
“It's important to be there as a friend, as someone who has been there, to help,” Barbara said.
The Henshaws said they hope their services will help keep Marines off the street and from spending their paychecks at bars. They have a guest bedroom ready for people to stay in.
“I tell them it's like home; they get what they want (out of the refrigerator),” Ralph said. “We don't want to put rules and regulations on them; we want them to feel at home.”
The Henshaws also offer free phone calls and baby-sitting services to the families. They believe that couples need time to themselves to keep their relationships strong.
Ralph and Barbara don't keep track of the number of people they help because to them, “It's not a number game.” It's about being there for those in need.
“If we can get one couple to build their marriage, then we're winning,” Ralph said.
Ralph and Barbara don't want the people they help to think they're going to get a Gospel lesson at Hospitality Home.
It's available if they want it, but it's not the primary focus, he said.
“The atmosphere we want is a home atmosphere so they aren't on the street,” Ralph said. “Whoever God brings in here, he wants, so that's what we do.”
Ralph and Barbara can be reached at (760) 435-9689.
Stephanie K. Parry: (760) 752-6750; stephanie.parry@tlnews.net
Ellie
By Stephanie K. Parry
TODAY'S LOCAL NEWS
November 17, 2007
On Thanksgiving Day of last year, Pastor Ralph Henshaw and his wife, Barbara, had a houseful of Marines who weren't able to go home to their families for the holiday.
Barbara said one Marine asked her if he could help prepare the dinner, and she asked him to mash the potatoes. As he was helping, he told her that if he had been home, he would have been doing the same thing for his mother.
“It brought tears to my eyes because we brought home to him,” Barbara said.
The couple open their home to service members and their families, mostly from Camp Pendleton, to help them in any way they can.
Bill Reed started the program called Hospitality Home 41 years ago. Reed, whom everyone called Pop, was a pastor at a church in Fontana before moving to Oceanside and starting Hospitality Home to help single Marines.
When Reed died in February 2006 at age 91, Ralph was the pastor of the church in Fontana. Reed hadn't prepared anyone to take over Hospitality Home, so Ralph stepped down as pastor and he and and Barbara moved to Oceanside to run the program.
Today, Ralph and Barbara have expanded Hospitality Home to provide services such as food, games or a place to stay for the night to military families.
“I'll make a warm meal or make them cookies,” Barbara said.
Ralph said he wants military personnel to know someone is there for them no matter what.
“Young servicemen need that someone they can call and be there,” he said.
Ralph and Barbara approached the chaplain's office on Camp Pendleton about continuing the work Reed had started and signed up as civilians to be chaplains. They work with other chaplains in the community and on base to help service members and their families.
The chaplain's office helps them connect with military personnel who may not want to talk to military chaplains for fear of the information reaching their command.
“I don't share information because I want them to feel that they can come to me for help,” Ralph said. “When I counseled college students, they knew I wouldn't tell their parents unless I thought it was serious enough for their parents to know; and then I would go with them to tell their parents so they didn't feel alone.”
Ralph said confidentiality makes it easier for military people to come to him when they need help.
“They can come to this home and know this couple will be there for them,” Ralph said.
The couple also work with families left behind by deployments.
When Renay Bishop's husband, Gunnery Sgt. Ed Bishop, went to Iraq, Barbara and Ralph became their prayer partners.
“Barbara would come up to me and tell me she was praying for me,” Renay said. “I always knew if I needed somebody I could turn to Barbara.”
Renay and Ed's friendship with Ralph and Barbara developed into get-togethers for meals, games or conversation.
Like most military families, Ed and Renay are on the move – to a new base in another state soon.
“That's the only problem with this ministry; you see people come and go,” Barbara said.
Ed appreciates what Ralph and Barbara do for the young men and women in the military.
“It would have been nice (to have this) when I was younger,” Ed said.
The Henshaws see a need for family counseling among Marines returning from Iraq.
“Young people are coming back with so many things to deal with, and it's hard to put marriage on top of it,” Ralph said.
The Henshaws attend marriage classes such as Chaplain's Religious Enrichment Development Operations (CREDO), offered through the chaplain's office and Marine Corps Community Services, to meet young couples and offer assistance.
“It's important to be there as a friend, as someone who has been there, to help,” Barbara said.
The Henshaws said they hope their services will help keep Marines off the street and from spending their paychecks at bars. They have a guest bedroom ready for people to stay in.
“I tell them it's like home; they get what they want (out of the refrigerator),” Ralph said. “We don't want to put rules and regulations on them; we want them to feel at home.”
The Henshaws also offer free phone calls and baby-sitting services to the families. They believe that couples need time to themselves to keep their relationships strong.
Ralph and Barbara don't keep track of the number of people they help because to them, “It's not a number game.” It's about being there for those in need.
“If we can get one couple to build their marriage, then we're winning,” Ralph said.
Ralph and Barbara don't want the people they help to think they're going to get a Gospel lesson at Hospitality Home.
It's available if they want it, but it's not the primary focus, he said.
“The atmosphere we want is a home atmosphere so they aren't on the street,” Ralph said. “Whoever God brings in here, he wants, so that's what we do.”
Ralph and Barbara can be reached at (760) 435-9689.
Stephanie K. Parry: (760) 752-6750; stephanie.parry@tlnews.net
Ellie