thedrifter
09-18-07, 08:55 AM
Iraq, Afghanistan, and What Military Life Has Done to My Son
By Madison Marie McIntire
Associated Content, CO
My son enlisted as a Marine three years ago. Little did we know that this would be life changing for all of the family members. Fresh out of high school with no direction in life and the lacking urge for any further education, my son joined the Marines. The impact of the last three years has affected all of us in different ways.
Afghanistan Deployment
While all of us were left behind on the morning my son left for boot camp we had a mixture of emotions. We first of all, we feared for his life since we knew he would be deployed right out of camp. Secondly, it was a sigh of relief since we felt he might "grow up" some. You know what I mean.....one down, four left to fly the coop! Third, we worried the mental stress would make him cave. Lastly, we felt sorry for him.
While he was in boot camp, we did not worry so much but the second he was deployed our hearts sank. His first tour was Afghanistan. While he was there, we heard from him often. He was depressed on one hand from loneliness but yet he was not in any immediate danger. We sighed a sigh of relief.
When he returned to the states and came home to visit, he had many stories to share. He recounted to us how sick he got when he first arrived in Afghanistan. He reported that he was so sick he never even got out of the cot in which he laid to get sick or to go the bathroom. He said the water was bad there. He told of how sick he was but yet it did not compare to some of his other buddies who remained just as lifeless but for many more weeks then he was.
He shared photographs of the Afghan living quarters and of course many pictures of the remnants of towns after bombings. The pictures depicted areas that were filthy, dry, sandy, and of course many dead people were lying about in nearly every photo. Although he did not focus on the dead, it was unspoken that even though it was a daily viewing, it did bother him terrible.
He also showed a few fun photos of his buddies acting crazy and even of a five or six foot Cobra that was living in a cage. He told us how he and his buddies came face to face with a few of them and the ones that kind of chased after them, and that killing them was definitely not a problem.
We listened in fear, yet we were hinged on his every word. We wanted to know more but were fearful to ask. Emotions run thick as we listened to his many stories but yet we felt secure since he was told that he would not deploy again.
Iraq Deployment
His second and final deployment took him to Iraq for eight months. His stories and pictures are too graphic to explain in this article. His loneliness increased dramatically over the Afghanistan deployment. He began to hate the fact that he was a Marine. He began to begrudge the fact that he was fighting for our freedom but yet he was not free (more on this later). During his phone calls, which were infrequent, he told us he missed home deeply and that it was bad in Iraq. He said the killings and bombings were constant and that it was a morbid scene.
Moreover, he was truly sickened by the Afghanistan homosexual activities, relaying that most emergencies involved surgeries of rectums. In the community that he was stationed by, the culture revealed that men lying with women were for producing children but men lying with men were for pleasurable reasons. He describes a homosexual hut that most Afghan men retreated to come nightfall. He told how he was sickened that the military had to help those that came in with these types of self-inflicted emergencies.
He also spoke of how children were beaten on the streets in broad daylight and that it was normal. Women that stood up to men or disobeyed were killed immediately and left on the streets. When these types of actions occurred, people behaved as if the event never happened. They continued with their actions unaffected. Our son begged for mail and or packages, and said he was begging for something but did not know what. He said he felt he was going crazy and that the Iraqi people were hateful even though the Marines were to there to help them.
As his stories slowly unfolded, our fear for his life increased. With every ringing of the phone, we jumped to see the caller ID. We avidly watched the news, hoping for an announcement that all troops would be coming home. We counted the days down for his return. His voice seemed so close yet so distant when we spoke. Nothing compares to not knowing where your son is (he could not tell for security reasons).
After Deployment
After the deployments came the final promise that my son would not be deployed again. Although we were relieved, we could tell that damage had already been done. Our son developed a "hate the world" attitude. His heart was hardened toward people. His patience is gone. He feels trapped in a Marine world. He resents the fact that there are rules that run his life when he paid a terrible price to give others freedom.
As a few examples of my son feeling that his rights are raped, begin with the fact that he MUST shave, he MUST wear Marine issued clothes, he MUST not talk on a cell phone on his day off while driving on base, he MUST get his hair cut, and he MUST be based in Hawaii where it is terribly expensive to live.
The difference between the things he MUST do and the things we MUST do, is that we have options. If we do not like the rules we move on. However, if a Marine does not like the rules, well.....tough, and they are stuck until their contract is up. It is ironic that a service man or woman will fight for freedom but yet be stripped of theirs.
Now as you sit there while reading this paragraph you may be thinking that it is too bad that he feels like this and that it is what was in the package deal when he signed up. Well, what most people don't know is that you are not told the little things when you join in the service and your feelings change quite a bit after deployment. I can also relate to the old adage, "be careful what you wish for".
While I hope that my son's attitude does change, in the near future, about people, about rules, and about serving his country, I can relate to his feelings of being tired of everything as I can say that his recounted stories and pictures were enough to sicken me and harden my heart as well. My son will always have haunting memories of dead bodies, medical emergencies, ruined communities, blown up homes and cars, starving children, and the images of his buddy when he was blown up right before him.
Ending Opinion of Iraq and Afghanistan Deployment
My son has the opinion that the people in Iraq and Afghanistan do not want their living conditions to change at all. They continually contribute to the mess they are in. They seem to thrive from the killings, homosexual activities, and the filthy living conditions. U.S. Marine lives are taken everyday for those that do nothing to change their environment. As for my son's opinion of his family.....well his lack of family fellowship made him realize that we are the most important people in his life and we are there for him when no one else is. He has a new found respect for us and does, from the depths of his soul, miss us very much. Now, in his eyes, he reports that we do not compare to any drill sergeant.
Now that he is close to coming home for good, we still are careful with our conversations and questions. We are fearful that our inquiring conversations will stir an unwanted memory but yet, if we don't ask, does he think we do not care?
Ellie
By Madison Marie McIntire
Associated Content, CO
My son enlisted as a Marine three years ago. Little did we know that this would be life changing for all of the family members. Fresh out of high school with no direction in life and the lacking urge for any further education, my son joined the Marines. The impact of the last three years has affected all of us in different ways.
Afghanistan Deployment
While all of us were left behind on the morning my son left for boot camp we had a mixture of emotions. We first of all, we feared for his life since we knew he would be deployed right out of camp. Secondly, it was a sigh of relief since we felt he might "grow up" some. You know what I mean.....one down, four left to fly the coop! Third, we worried the mental stress would make him cave. Lastly, we felt sorry for him.
While he was in boot camp, we did not worry so much but the second he was deployed our hearts sank. His first tour was Afghanistan. While he was there, we heard from him often. He was depressed on one hand from loneliness but yet he was not in any immediate danger. We sighed a sigh of relief.
When he returned to the states and came home to visit, he had many stories to share. He recounted to us how sick he got when he first arrived in Afghanistan. He reported that he was so sick he never even got out of the cot in which he laid to get sick or to go the bathroom. He said the water was bad there. He told of how sick he was but yet it did not compare to some of his other buddies who remained just as lifeless but for many more weeks then he was.
He shared photographs of the Afghan living quarters and of course many pictures of the remnants of towns after bombings. The pictures depicted areas that were filthy, dry, sandy, and of course many dead people were lying about in nearly every photo. Although he did not focus on the dead, it was unspoken that even though it was a daily viewing, it did bother him terrible.
He also showed a few fun photos of his buddies acting crazy and even of a five or six foot Cobra that was living in a cage. He told us how he and his buddies came face to face with a few of them and the ones that kind of chased after them, and that killing them was definitely not a problem.
We listened in fear, yet we were hinged on his every word. We wanted to know more but were fearful to ask. Emotions run thick as we listened to his many stories but yet we felt secure since he was told that he would not deploy again.
Iraq Deployment
His second and final deployment took him to Iraq for eight months. His stories and pictures are too graphic to explain in this article. His loneliness increased dramatically over the Afghanistan deployment. He began to hate the fact that he was a Marine. He began to begrudge the fact that he was fighting for our freedom but yet he was not free (more on this later). During his phone calls, which were infrequent, he told us he missed home deeply and that it was bad in Iraq. He said the killings and bombings were constant and that it was a morbid scene.
Moreover, he was truly sickened by the Afghanistan homosexual activities, relaying that most emergencies involved surgeries of rectums. In the community that he was stationed by, the culture revealed that men lying with women were for producing children but men lying with men were for pleasurable reasons. He describes a homosexual hut that most Afghan men retreated to come nightfall. He told how he was sickened that the military had to help those that came in with these types of self-inflicted emergencies.
He also spoke of how children were beaten on the streets in broad daylight and that it was normal. Women that stood up to men or disobeyed were killed immediately and left on the streets. When these types of actions occurred, people behaved as if the event never happened. They continued with their actions unaffected. Our son begged for mail and or packages, and said he was begging for something but did not know what. He said he felt he was going crazy and that the Iraqi people were hateful even though the Marines were to there to help them.
As his stories slowly unfolded, our fear for his life increased. With every ringing of the phone, we jumped to see the caller ID. We avidly watched the news, hoping for an announcement that all troops would be coming home. We counted the days down for his return. His voice seemed so close yet so distant when we spoke. Nothing compares to not knowing where your son is (he could not tell for security reasons).
After Deployment
After the deployments came the final promise that my son would not be deployed again. Although we were relieved, we could tell that damage had already been done. Our son developed a "hate the world" attitude. His heart was hardened toward people. His patience is gone. He feels trapped in a Marine world. He resents the fact that there are rules that run his life when he paid a terrible price to give others freedom.
As a few examples of my son feeling that his rights are raped, begin with the fact that he MUST shave, he MUST wear Marine issued clothes, he MUST not talk on a cell phone on his day off while driving on base, he MUST get his hair cut, and he MUST be based in Hawaii where it is terribly expensive to live.
The difference between the things he MUST do and the things we MUST do, is that we have options. If we do not like the rules we move on. However, if a Marine does not like the rules, well.....tough, and they are stuck until their contract is up. It is ironic that a service man or woman will fight for freedom but yet be stripped of theirs.
Now as you sit there while reading this paragraph you may be thinking that it is too bad that he feels like this and that it is what was in the package deal when he signed up. Well, what most people don't know is that you are not told the little things when you join in the service and your feelings change quite a bit after deployment. I can also relate to the old adage, "be careful what you wish for".
While I hope that my son's attitude does change, in the near future, about people, about rules, and about serving his country, I can relate to his feelings of being tired of everything as I can say that his recounted stories and pictures were enough to sicken me and harden my heart as well. My son will always have haunting memories of dead bodies, medical emergencies, ruined communities, blown up homes and cars, starving children, and the images of his buddy when he was blown up right before him.
Ending Opinion of Iraq and Afghanistan Deployment
My son has the opinion that the people in Iraq and Afghanistan do not want their living conditions to change at all. They continually contribute to the mess they are in. They seem to thrive from the killings, homosexual activities, and the filthy living conditions. U.S. Marine lives are taken everyday for those that do nothing to change their environment. As for my son's opinion of his family.....well his lack of family fellowship made him realize that we are the most important people in his life and we are there for him when no one else is. He has a new found respect for us and does, from the depths of his soul, miss us very much. Now, in his eyes, he reports that we do not compare to any drill sergeant.
Now that he is close to coming home for good, we still are careful with our conversations and questions. We are fearful that our inquiring conversations will stir an unwanted memory but yet, if we don't ask, does he think we do not care?
Ellie