View Full Version : Drill Instructor Facts
dabigeddie1
09-12-07, 01:19 PM
*this is soelely for entertainment but it sure made me smile due to the inhuman persona of the Drill Instructor*
The Drill Instructor had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
The Drill Instructor cannot love, he can only not kill.
The Drill Instructor sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, The Drill Instructor roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
The Drill Instructor's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
When The Drill Instructor is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
The Drill Instructor knows the last digit of Pi
The Drill Instructor invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time The Drill Instructor is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
When The Drill Instructor goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
The Drill Instructor once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
The Drill Instructor is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
The Drill Instructor once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Drill Instructors glare will liquefy your kidneys.
LOL!:)
PatriotGirl422
09-12-07, 01:21 PM
That's pretty funny. It actually reminds me of all the Chuck Norris jokes (aka Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them. Or, when Chuck Norris jumps into a pool he doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris).
It's funnier with Drill Instructors though.
*this is soelely for entertainment but it sure made me smile due to the inhuman persona of the Drill Instructor*
The Drill Instructor had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
The Drill Instructor cannot love, he can only not kill.
The Drill Instructor sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, The Drill Instructor roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
The Drill Instructor's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
When The Drill Instructor is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
The Drill Instructor knows the last digit of Pi
The Drill Instructor invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time The Drill Instructor is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
When The Drill Instructor goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
The Drill Instructor once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
The Drill Instructor is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
The Drill Instructor once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Drill Instructors glare will liquefy your kidneys.
The Drill Instructor doesn't need the Force, people just drop to the ground as soon as they see him coming.
Someone once tried to tell The Drill Instructor that yelling isn't the best way to talk to someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of The Drill Instructor."
The Drill Instructor recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
The Drill Instructor does not sleep. He waits.
There's an order to the universe: space, time, The Drill Instructor.... Just kidding, The Drill Instructor is first.
Along with his black belt, The Drill Instructor often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
When you play Monopoly with The Drill Instructor, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
The Drill Instructor knows The Truth.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Drill Instructor pajamas.
The Drill Instructor invented the alphabet.
A recruit once asked The Drill Instructor what his real name was. The Drill Instructor did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
July 4th is Independence day. And the day The Drill Instructor was born. Coincidence? i think not.
The Drill Instructor can slam a revolving door.
The Drill Instructor is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole damn barn falls down.
The Drill Instructor's pulse is measured on the richter scale.
When God made The Drill Instructor, he was just showing off.
The Drill Instructor knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
The Drill Instructor CAN in fact 'raise the roof'. And he can do it with one hand.
As an infant, The Drill Instructor's parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
If The Drill Instructor is late, time better slow the **** down.
PatriotGirl422
09-12-07, 02:42 PM
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Drill Instructor pajamas.
As an infant, The Drill Instructor's parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
[/LEFT]
Those are my favorite ones. Here's some more for you:
When the boogyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for the Drill Instructor.
When the Drill Instructor does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
If you can see the Drill Instructor, he can see you. If you can't see the Drill Instructor, you may be only seconds away from death.
marinepooly1361
09-12-07, 02:50 PM
If you dont know who your daddy is its probably the Drill Instructor!:evilgrin:
the reason they sound like chuck norris jokes is because A. I HATE CHUCK NORRIS and Drill Instructor has a better ring and B. I used a random fact generator that you can type any name into and it generates them.
p.s. thanks for getting rid of the thread i accidently posted halway through putting mine up:-)
marinepooly1361
09-12-07, 06:05 PM
A. I HATE CHUCK NORRIS
You better hope he doesnt kill you in your sleep.
TheBiggness
09-13-07, 12:59 PM
There is going to be only 3 horsemen of the apocolypse because the Drill Instructor is going to double time it.
The last man to make eye contact with the Drill Instructor was Ray Charles.
The Drill Instructor and Super Man once fought on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside.
The Drill Instructor has beat the crap out of so many people over his brilliant life that most medical journals now classify him as a laxative.
The Drill Instructor once stated that he "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that the Drill Instructor was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.
The Drill Instructor punched Sylvester Stallone so hard that Sly spoke clearly for a week.
When a can of whoopass is opened the Drill Instructor jumps out.
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. The Drill Instructor does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
The Drill Instructor was too strong for human tendons, instead he has gorilla tendons.
The Drill Instructor doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
The Drill Instructor killed for your sins.
One time, at band camp, The Drill Instructor ate a percussionist.
The Drill Instructor crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
If you're driving down the road and you think The Drill Instructor just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around.
Q: How many The Drill Instructor's does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, The Drill Instructor prefers to kill in the dark.
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the power of a The Drill Instructor. They didn't even come close.
The Drill Instructor can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
The Drill Instructor once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
The air around The Drill Instructor is always a balmy 78 degrees.
The Drill Instructor uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
The Drill Instructor CAN believe it's not butter.
The Drill Instructor takes regular drives through bad neighborhoods with his doors unlocked.
The Drill Instructor once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75 chance of Pain.
There is no such thing as global warming. The Drill Instructor was cold, so he turned the sun up.
The Drill Instructor can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to The Drill Instructor and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Jesus can walk on water, but The Drill Instructor can walk on Jesus.
When The Drill Instructor was born he rapelled out with K-Bar in mouth, Cut his own cord, and made the 65 year old doctor complete a round-the-world sprint in 10 minutes.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from The Drill Instructor.
The Drill Instructor died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
When The Drill Instructor plays Oregon Trail, he family does not die from cholera or dysentery. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs The Drill Instructor. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not **** off The Drill Instructor" This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
HurricaneRJ
09-13-07, 02:36 PM
There are no races, only countries of people The Drill Instructor has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
The Drill Instructor once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. The Drill Instructor calls this "a slow Tuesday."
The Drill Instructor and Chesty Puller walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one.
building.
The Drill Instructor played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
A high tide means The Drill Instructor is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God ****ing his pants.
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to The Drill Instructor because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of The Drill Instructors' autobiography.
The Drill Instructor is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
The Drill Instructor can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. (I think Sgt. Quinn possess the capability as well.)
Marine Corps Recruits created the automobile to escape from The Drill Instructor...Not to be outdone, The Drill Instructor created the automobile accident.
TheBiggness
09-13-07, 03:01 PM
The Drill Instructor likes his emo kids sunny side up.
The Drill Instructor irons his shirts while he's wearing them.
A few people can lift Thor's hammer, but the Drill Instructor is the only one who can beat Thor's ass with it.
The Drill Instructor survived abortion.
The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed twenty bucks from the Drill Instructor and forgot to pay him back.
Once a cobra bit the Drill Instructors leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear the Drill Instructor banging your sister.
The Drill Instructor is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that the Drill Instructor CAN touch this.
The Drill Instructor once punched a man in the soul.
The Drill Instructor doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
TheBiggness
09-13-07, 03:05 PM
Marine Corps Recruits created the automobile to escape from The Drill Instructor...Not to be outdone, The Drill Instructor created the automobile accident.
LMAO
Cwalling
09-13-07, 03:19 PM
The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed twenty bucks from the Drill Instructor and forgot to pay him back.
"
*falls out of chair laughing
LMAO that stuff is hilarious.
The only man to tell The Drill Instructor "no" was Stephen Hawkins.
The Spartans made the yellow footsteps from urine....after meeting The Drill Instructor.
The Drill instructor went through 5 mothers before finding one who could handle his kick.
marinepooly1361
09-14-07, 07:36 AM
The D.I. once went on vacation to the Virgin Islands. Now they're just The Islands.
Drill Instructors do not go hunting. They go killing, hunting imply's a probability of failure, and we all know D.I.'s never fail
The D.I. can find waldo, then make him do bends and thrusts till he pukes
The D.I. once ate (3) 72 oz. steaks in an hour, and he spent the first 45 minutes nailin your sister on the table
If you spellout Drill Instructor in scrabble, you win. Forever
In a Marine Corp barrack, there are over 1,442 objects the D.I. could use to kill you, including the room itself
The Drill Instructor once ate a whole cake before the platoon could tell him there was a midget stripper in it.
The D.I. counted to infinity.
Twice
While Urinating, the D.I. is easily capable of welding titanium
The Drill Instructor invented black, In fact he invented the entire color sprectrum. Except pink, the Airforce invented pink.
Theres no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. The D.I.'s are in South Carolina and California
The D.I. invented the bolt action rifle, beer, sex, and football--in that order
HurricaneRJ
09-14-07, 09:49 AM
Chuck Norris asked the Drill Instructor to be put in the toughest Battalion on the Island. Sure enough Chuck Norris was put into 4thBn.
He didn't make it through processing.
PatriotGirl422
09-14-07, 11:50 AM
Chuck Norris asked the Drill Instructor to be put in the toughest Battalion on the Island. Sure enough Chuck Norris was put into 4thBn.
He didn't make it through processing.
Actually Chuck Norris was an Air Force MP. Even ol' Chuck wasn't good enough for the Corps.
HurricaneRJ
09-14-07, 11:52 AM
Yeah. I read about the Commadant making him an Honorary Marine.
jinelson
09-14-07, 12:34 PM
Thats a fact I read it too.
Jim
jungholee90
09-16-07, 02:43 AM
Hahah, I had a good laugh!
Listen Up And Listen Hard, it Is Marine NCOs that are Hardcore. Were do you think they get Drill Instrutors ? From the Marine NCO Ranks, Every Marine NCO has it in him or her to go off. It is threw time and grade, your rank and training that you get a attitude that you go off on the lower ranks. It is all Marine NCOs with this attitude in side us at any moment that will come out, just push the right buttons.
Semper Fi
Old Marine
09-16-07, 10:05 AM
When the Lord said "Let There Be Light" a Drill Instructor threw the switch.
Leatherneck .com3.7.0, Copyright ©2000-2008, Leatherneck Guide Inc