thedrifter
09-09-07, 07:35 AM
Fallen heroes, unfilled voids
Across the region, families and communities cope with the loss of those killed in Iraq.
By Edward Colimore
Inquirer Staff Writer
He will always be 25, always the handsome blond-haired, hometown hero.
This month, the former all-South Jersey football star will be honored during ceremonies at Gloucester City High School when his No. 19 jersey will be retired.
And on the Nov. 10 anniversary of the Marine Corps, his etched image on a black granite monument will be unveiled in town along with a brass pair of combat boots, M-16 and helmet - the symbol of a fallen soldier.
Marine Corps Cpl. Marc T. Ryan was killed by a suicide car-bomb explosion in Ramadi, Iraq, in 2004 and is among the 54 Philadelphia-area soldiers to die in the war.
His mother, Linda Ryan, said she screamed the day three Marines in dress blues came to her door with the news. "I knew what it was," she said. ". . . I would live in a cardboard box to have my son back again."
The war has left gaping holes in the lives of families and in the fabric of communities across the city and Bucks, Chester, Delaware and Montgomery Counties as well as Camden, Burlington and Gloucester Counties in South Jersey.
Monuments and plaques have gone up in memory of soldiers, trees have been dedicated, and parks, streets, buildings and scholarships have taken on their names.
Thirty-eight of the 54 killed in the war were from Pennsylvania; 16 were from New Jersey. Fifty-two were men, two were women. Most were white. Several were African American or Hispanic. Seven were members of the National Guard, and five were reservists.
And nearly half the fallen, including 27-year-old Army Sgt. Joseph Nolan of Manayunk and 20-year-old Army Spec. Anthony Dixon of Lindenwold, were killed by IEDs - the acronym for improvised explosive devices.
At least a half dozen, including 25-year-old Army Sgt. Allen James Dunckley of Yardley and 31-year-old Army Reserve Spec. Bryan Freeman Jr. of Lumberton, were killed by small-arms fire. Four, including Marc Ryan, died in suicide or car-bomb attacks; four more in aircraft crashes; and two in mortar attacks.
But statistics don't measure the void they leave - the vacant chairs at dinner tables, their absence at family gatherings and in the lives of children.
Dunckley's young son and daughter were flying this month, looked around at the clouds, and asked their mother, Jennifer: "Is this where daddy is?"
"They can't understand that he's in a place that he can't come back from. . . . They can't fall asleep at night unless daddy's picture is nearby," said 23-year-old Jennifer, who keeps a memorial in the dining room: her husband's dog tags draped over a wooden box containing his ashes along with his military hat and framed American flag and medals.
The statistics also don't measure the unfulfilled plans.
Dunckley planned to become a youth minister and wanted to start a martial arts school to help troubled youth and tell them about God. Twenty-five-year-old Marine Lance Cpl. Joseph Maglione III of Lansdale wanted to be an architectural engineer.
And Ryan, Dixon, Freeman, and 21-year-old Army Sgt. Jae Moon of Levittown dreamed of careers in law enforcement as state troopers or FBI agents.
Many others such as Nolan, 23-year-old Marine Cpl. Sean Kelly of Pitman, and 24-year-old Army Spec. Ryan Baker were already doing what they loved in the military.
News of the soldiers' fates has changed the look of many area homes, where parents and spouses have replaced the traditional Blue Star service banners in front windows with Gold Star banners, indicating a death.
Judith Young, president of the Department of New Jersey of the American Gold Star Mothers, a national nonprofit organization of women who lost sons and daughters in war, said the membership in the group has been rising - from a low of about 925 six years ago to 1,500 today.
"I process more membership applications in one month now than I did in three or four months," said Young, who finished serving as national president of the group this summer and is now heading a $2 million project to erect a statue in Washington to American Gold Star Mothers. It will depict a mother holding a telegram with news of a death.
"I know the support from the community has been so much more than families experienced during the Vietnam War," added Young, who lost her Marine son, Jeff, in 1983, when a truck bomb blew up a military barracks in Beirut.
Linda Ryan, 51, one of New Jersey's Gold Star moms, said she and her family have been comforted by neighbors and friends who closed ranks around them after Marc's death.
Some erected a flagpole in front of the Ryans' house in Gloucester City with spotlights aimed at the American and Marine Corps flags flying overhead. They also gave them a statue of a Marine saluting and holding a flag.
As further tribute to Marc Ryan, friends raised $40,000 for a monument that will soon be built at Broadway and Monmouth Street in Gloucester City. And a scholarship fund was established in his name at the high school.
The community was clearly shaken by the Marine's loss. Two days after his death, as the family met with reporters, 20 members of the local fire department and dozens of other friends turned out at the Ryans' home to show support. A sign in front of the high school read: "Marc Ryan - Our Fallen Hero."
"I'm the daughter of a Marine, wife of a Marine, and the mother of a Marine," Linda Ryan said. "I knew I had to be in control when Marc died because everyone else was going to pieces.
"But a few weeks ago, I was overcome with emotion, and I let it out. My son's dog, a black Lab named Butkus, died. I had been holding on to him for dear life; he was a tie to Marc. His 13th birthday would have been Nov. 15 - the day Marc was killed."
The Lab's ashes are now in an engraved mahogany box next to a large picture of Marc and a candle in the house.
"Marc was the life of the party," Linda Ryan said. "What would it have been like if he had been at my daughter's wedding and at his niece's and nephew's birthdays? When you lose a child, nothing can replace him. I don't want anyone ever to forget his name or what he's done."
In Bucks County, Jennifer Dunckley also felt the embrace of family, friends and neighbors after her husband's death on May 14. Sgt. Dunckley, who went by his middle name, James, was killed in Salman Pak, Iraq, when he was caught in a gun battle. His young widow was informed two weeks ago that her husband had been hit twice in the back by friendly fire.
In the days after James Dunckley's death, residents held a fund-raiser in Richboro to help Jennifer and her two children - 3-year-old Joshua and 2-year-old Hannah - with expenses. Her church helped with funeral arrangements. Local restaurants offered meals, and Sesame Place donated tickets.
What's more, in Glassboro, where James Dunckley's parents live, the soldier's name was added to a monument. And at Fort Stewart, Ga., a tree was planted and dedicated in his honor. Dunckley joined the Army after serving in the Marines.
"We miss him morning, noon and night," said Jennifer Dunckley. "When you share life with someone, everything reminds you of him.
"There is no way I could get through this without my faith in God. I hold on to the realization that we will see him again."
In Lumberton, Burlington County, Bryan Freeman Sr. and his wife, Darlene, also felt the outpouring of support from the community after Bryan Jr. was killed by a sniper in Baghdad in 2004.
A Lumberton park was named in their son's honor, and hundreds of people turned out for the dedication ceremony. A building at Fort Dix also was named after the soldier. And a Bryan L. Freeman Jr. Memorial Scholarship was established to provide $1,500 for deserving high school seniors.
But for encouragement, the words of area residents were important, too.
"A gentleman who works at the same bank as I do said he would bring his young son to the park and explain to him how important it is to stand up for what you believe in," said Bryan Freeman Sr., 56, a regional manager at Citizens Bank in Haddon Heights. "He said he would use my son as an example."
Bryan Jr. had often made him proud at high school wrestling events and later as an adult volunteer wrestling coach at Rancocas Valley Regional High School. Now, as an example to young people, he'd given his father another reason to be proud.
"Bryan was always around and always helpful," said his father. "I have a lot of good memories. We miss him all the time. When you're a parent, it's a process you go through. It's never over."
Contact staff writer Edward Colimore
at 856-779-3833 or ecolimore@phillynews.com. To comment, or to ask a question, go to go.philly.com/askcolimore.
Ellie
Across the region, families and communities cope with the loss of those killed in Iraq.
By Edward Colimore
Inquirer Staff Writer
He will always be 25, always the handsome blond-haired, hometown hero.
This month, the former all-South Jersey football star will be honored during ceremonies at Gloucester City High School when his No. 19 jersey will be retired.
And on the Nov. 10 anniversary of the Marine Corps, his etched image on a black granite monument will be unveiled in town along with a brass pair of combat boots, M-16 and helmet - the symbol of a fallen soldier.
Marine Corps Cpl. Marc T. Ryan was killed by a suicide car-bomb explosion in Ramadi, Iraq, in 2004 and is among the 54 Philadelphia-area soldiers to die in the war.
His mother, Linda Ryan, said she screamed the day three Marines in dress blues came to her door with the news. "I knew what it was," she said. ". . . I would live in a cardboard box to have my son back again."
The war has left gaping holes in the lives of families and in the fabric of communities across the city and Bucks, Chester, Delaware and Montgomery Counties as well as Camden, Burlington and Gloucester Counties in South Jersey.
Monuments and plaques have gone up in memory of soldiers, trees have been dedicated, and parks, streets, buildings and scholarships have taken on their names.
Thirty-eight of the 54 killed in the war were from Pennsylvania; 16 were from New Jersey. Fifty-two were men, two were women. Most were white. Several were African American or Hispanic. Seven were members of the National Guard, and five were reservists.
And nearly half the fallen, including 27-year-old Army Sgt. Joseph Nolan of Manayunk and 20-year-old Army Spec. Anthony Dixon of Lindenwold, were killed by IEDs - the acronym for improvised explosive devices.
At least a half dozen, including 25-year-old Army Sgt. Allen James Dunckley of Yardley and 31-year-old Army Reserve Spec. Bryan Freeman Jr. of Lumberton, were killed by small-arms fire. Four, including Marc Ryan, died in suicide or car-bomb attacks; four more in aircraft crashes; and two in mortar attacks.
But statistics don't measure the void they leave - the vacant chairs at dinner tables, their absence at family gatherings and in the lives of children.
Dunckley's young son and daughter were flying this month, looked around at the clouds, and asked their mother, Jennifer: "Is this where daddy is?"
"They can't understand that he's in a place that he can't come back from. . . . They can't fall asleep at night unless daddy's picture is nearby," said 23-year-old Jennifer, who keeps a memorial in the dining room: her husband's dog tags draped over a wooden box containing his ashes along with his military hat and framed American flag and medals.
The statistics also don't measure the unfulfilled plans.
Dunckley planned to become a youth minister and wanted to start a martial arts school to help troubled youth and tell them about God. Twenty-five-year-old Marine Lance Cpl. Joseph Maglione III of Lansdale wanted to be an architectural engineer.
And Ryan, Dixon, Freeman, and 21-year-old Army Sgt. Jae Moon of Levittown dreamed of careers in law enforcement as state troopers or FBI agents.
Many others such as Nolan, 23-year-old Marine Cpl. Sean Kelly of Pitman, and 24-year-old Army Spec. Ryan Baker were already doing what they loved in the military.
News of the soldiers' fates has changed the look of many area homes, where parents and spouses have replaced the traditional Blue Star service banners in front windows with Gold Star banners, indicating a death.
Judith Young, president of the Department of New Jersey of the American Gold Star Mothers, a national nonprofit organization of women who lost sons and daughters in war, said the membership in the group has been rising - from a low of about 925 six years ago to 1,500 today.
"I process more membership applications in one month now than I did in three or four months," said Young, who finished serving as national president of the group this summer and is now heading a $2 million project to erect a statue in Washington to American Gold Star Mothers. It will depict a mother holding a telegram with news of a death.
"I know the support from the community has been so much more than families experienced during the Vietnam War," added Young, who lost her Marine son, Jeff, in 1983, when a truck bomb blew up a military barracks in Beirut.
Linda Ryan, 51, one of New Jersey's Gold Star moms, said she and her family have been comforted by neighbors and friends who closed ranks around them after Marc's death.
Some erected a flagpole in front of the Ryans' house in Gloucester City with spotlights aimed at the American and Marine Corps flags flying overhead. They also gave them a statue of a Marine saluting and holding a flag.
As further tribute to Marc Ryan, friends raised $40,000 for a monument that will soon be built at Broadway and Monmouth Street in Gloucester City. And a scholarship fund was established in his name at the high school.
The community was clearly shaken by the Marine's loss. Two days after his death, as the family met with reporters, 20 members of the local fire department and dozens of other friends turned out at the Ryans' home to show support. A sign in front of the high school read: "Marc Ryan - Our Fallen Hero."
"I'm the daughter of a Marine, wife of a Marine, and the mother of a Marine," Linda Ryan said. "I knew I had to be in control when Marc died because everyone else was going to pieces.
"But a few weeks ago, I was overcome with emotion, and I let it out. My son's dog, a black Lab named Butkus, died. I had been holding on to him for dear life; he was a tie to Marc. His 13th birthday would have been Nov. 15 - the day Marc was killed."
The Lab's ashes are now in an engraved mahogany box next to a large picture of Marc and a candle in the house.
"Marc was the life of the party," Linda Ryan said. "What would it have been like if he had been at my daughter's wedding and at his niece's and nephew's birthdays? When you lose a child, nothing can replace him. I don't want anyone ever to forget his name or what he's done."
In Bucks County, Jennifer Dunckley also felt the embrace of family, friends and neighbors after her husband's death on May 14. Sgt. Dunckley, who went by his middle name, James, was killed in Salman Pak, Iraq, when he was caught in a gun battle. His young widow was informed two weeks ago that her husband had been hit twice in the back by friendly fire.
In the days after James Dunckley's death, residents held a fund-raiser in Richboro to help Jennifer and her two children - 3-year-old Joshua and 2-year-old Hannah - with expenses. Her church helped with funeral arrangements. Local restaurants offered meals, and Sesame Place donated tickets.
What's more, in Glassboro, where James Dunckley's parents live, the soldier's name was added to a monument. And at Fort Stewart, Ga., a tree was planted and dedicated in his honor. Dunckley joined the Army after serving in the Marines.
"We miss him morning, noon and night," said Jennifer Dunckley. "When you share life with someone, everything reminds you of him.
"There is no way I could get through this without my faith in God. I hold on to the realization that we will see him again."
In Lumberton, Burlington County, Bryan Freeman Sr. and his wife, Darlene, also felt the outpouring of support from the community after Bryan Jr. was killed by a sniper in Baghdad in 2004.
A Lumberton park was named in their son's honor, and hundreds of people turned out for the dedication ceremony. A building at Fort Dix also was named after the soldier. And a Bryan L. Freeman Jr. Memorial Scholarship was established to provide $1,500 for deserving high school seniors.
But for encouragement, the words of area residents were important, too.
"A gentleman who works at the same bank as I do said he would bring his young son to the park and explain to him how important it is to stand up for what you believe in," said Bryan Freeman Sr., 56, a regional manager at Citizens Bank in Haddon Heights. "He said he would use my son as an example."
Bryan Jr. had often made him proud at high school wrestling events and later as an adult volunteer wrestling coach at Rancocas Valley Regional High School. Now, as an example to young people, he'd given his father another reason to be proud.
"Bryan was always around and always helpful," said his father. "I have a lot of good memories. We miss him all the time. When you're a parent, it's a process you go through. It's never over."
Contact staff writer Edward Colimore
at 856-779-3833 or ecolimore@phillynews.com. To comment, or to ask a question, go to go.philly.com/askcolimore.
Ellie